Scott & Lizzie
This week we start with Scott and Lizzie. I know last week some of y’all were upset that we didn’t get any scenes with them. Perhaps that means they have a lot of scenes this week. There story is several days behind everyone else. It’s only been two weeks since Lizzie got out of prison and on their first date, Scott’s card was declined. The title of the last episode they were on was You Card Has Been Declined. I get my comments from y’all via email grouped by post so I got a tons of emails that said Your Card Has Been Declined and I was all WTF? I had a stronger reaction than Scott did and it really happened to him on a date, on camera! Scott has yet to tell Lizzie that she has bled him dry. He’s afraid she might leave him. Ya think?
Jazmyne, Lizzie’a 19-year-old daughter wants to get her mother away from Scott. Lizzie thinks Scott is going to buy her a car and rent her an apartment. And seriously, she’s not in a position to turn that down.
Scott takes Lizzie to a beautiful farm to feed the animals. He has something very important to ask her. He’s nervous. He proposes. Lizzie says it is too soon. Then she reluctantly agrees. She said yes?! She has been proposed to 14 times and this is the first time she said yes.
Caitlin & Matt
Matt is going out with the boys for the night. It’s his first boys night out without Caitlin. This will not go well. His friends say he was a great athlete and a good kid in high school and then just fell in with the wrong crowd and got on drugs. They ask him about looking for a job and he says he’s not looking. They are floored. Matt has never had a girlfriend before. He starts doing shots for the first time since prison. Matt has been out of prison for two weeks. It’s the longest he has been off and off drugs. His friends wonder what Caitlin’s angle is with Matt.
The next day, Matt’s mom shows Caitlin all the mess he left when he came stumbling home in the wee hours of the morning. Caitlin cleans up his mess. Matt’s mom says this is how it all starts. He’s on the path right back to prison. Both want the other to confront him about it. Neither one will. Matt’s mom wants to know how long they are going to be mooching off of her. She has no answer to that.
Megan & Michael & Sarah
Megan is living the high life with her limo to Niagara Falls and her fancy hotel, waiting for her fiance to break away from his wife to come be with her. She is tarting herself up in hopes for a more formal proposal with a ring. She is ready to give up her virginity. She looks in the mirror and says to her reflection, “‘Bout to get some dick!”
Sarah meets with her friends and seems unconcerned about where Michael is. It’s 7 pm and she hasn’t seen him since noon. She says he just needs some space. She is starting to wonder if he got picked up. Then she starts making excuses for him to her friends. Megan thinks she could be pregnant. She drinking until she takes the test.
Meanwhile, Michael is in Niagara falls with flowers and a card getting ready to pop his fiancée’s cherry. The two “luhbirds” luh each other. Michael thinks when Megan finds out he is married to Sarah he thinks she is going to be hurt, but she will know he is not lying. How does that work exactly?
Marcelino & Brittany
Brittany is finally going to go see her child that she has not seen in two years and she is concerned about having Marcelino in the same room with her ex, Tito. They are both two hot-headed Hispanic men. What could possibly go wrong? Brittany tries to get Marcelino not to be affectionate in front of Tito. She is worried Tito will keep her son away from her if he gets mad. Tito served eleven years in prison for making meth. This girl sure did get dealt a sorry lot in life living out on her own at such a young age and falling in with the homeless and drug addicts. After a year with Tito, she relapse after eight years of sobriety. Then she got arrested and went to prison for two years.
Oh my gosh! The little boy runs right into Brittany’s arms. He can’t be more than about three. Tito and his woman live in a really nice house. Mattress money? They have a gorgeous backyard with a pool and a fire pit. Tito is very polite to Marcelino. The little boy is just adorable and tells his mom he likes her hair. He has red hair like his mamma. Tito is also hot. Marcelino has to be intimidated by this and Brittany must be thinking, “This could have been my life.” The boy doesn’t want his mom to leave and has a huge tantrum asking her not to leave him anymore.
Later, the two lovebirds go ring shopping. Brittany tells the jeweler she has done seven years in prison. Why do they all announce this? She’s been out of prison for three weeks and she is even more in love with Marcelino. Britanny still hasn’t told him that she has seen her ex-girlfriend. Now she is taking her with her to pick out her wedding dress. She also has a new tattoo that says Marcelino. Ah, the official kiss of death for relationships! I love the bridal sales lady. She is totally nonplussed about anything that comes out of their mouths. Does production pay for these rings and wedding gowns? I assume so since they are all doing it. The other friend with Brittany says in confessional that Amanda seems to still be in love with Brittany. Brittany also tries on a wedding dress. The two brides gaze at each other. They stupidly take photos of this so that Marcelino can find them.
Clint & Tracie
I feel bad checking in with Clint. I think of all these idiots he has by far the lowest IQ. I honestly don’t think he has the mental capacity to make better decisions and that makes watching this feel wrong. It the day after his wedding and he’s crying on the couch in his oversized sweater in shock that Tracie gave back the ring. We’re in shock too, Clint. But for totally different reasons. She could have traded that for a lot of crack. She didn’t take her clothes either so Clint is hoping she is coming back.
Tracie has been gone for four hours. Clint calls his own phone to leave a message for her. He’s sobbing, “Goddess, this is your husband, I know you are not going to answer because the phone is off but I need the car back. I’m going to have to call the police and I don’t want to. But I have no choice. I love you so, so much baby.” SIGH.
Clint takes his trash bag full of junk and flies back home. I presume production put him on the plane. He heads home with his tail between his legs. His dad picks him up and he sobs in his arms. In confessional he says he will never give up on Tracie ever.