Hey Guys! Well here we are in a massive deluge in the ATL. Les has been thwarted at every turn trying to get here due to weather, power losses and kiddos. But she is determined to contribute and will send me commentary throughout the episode. My DVR has decided not to record the show and I frantically find it on live TV. I have missed the beginning, but there are a lot of models on the runway in their underwear. The contestants are designing corsets for the brand Adore Me and the winning designer gets a look “inspired by” the winning design on said website and $10K. Not too shabby. They have one day and $200. Somewhere Mr. Pearl has the vapors…..
They sketch right there on the runway. Irina wants to do an hourglass jacket with a lace jumpsuit underneath. Could be good….could be back in hooker quinceanera territory. Dmitry is doing separates with a transparent corset to go on top. Django is doing the opposite, a see through top with a corset underneath. It will be a future classic. Or get him kicked off. How the hell is Anya going to make a corset? I would imagine that requires some serious sewing skills….french seams…..boning….My husband just actually giggled when I said that out loud. I have kicked him out to go watch the show about the Navy Seals with the guy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer upstairs.
At Mood Jasper, AKA every model’s Tiger mom, is explaining his look. I have no idea what in the hell he’s talking about. We just feel bad ahead of time for his model, Christina’s sketch is giving me Madonna’s Blonde Ambition tour. Cynthia playing with geometry. She’s using a LOT of different colors. Wait? The corsets are already made? Anya breathes a sigh of relief even as she knocks over her dummy. Irina is happy she won, but going to keep pushing herself. Oh shit, Michelle almost cuts off her fingertip. Les and I hate injuries for good people. Les started behind me, but is now she is in front of me as her DVR crapped out as well and she had to switch to the live show and is now further into it. It’s very confusing. Michelle will survive and soldier on.
Anne comes in and gives a short speech on the use of corsets in modern times (she references Madonna). If ANYONE should be referenced it is Dita Von Teese and Mr. Pearl. She’s worried about the give of the fabric in Jasper’s look. We are just worried about Jasper’s look. WTF with the slits?? He promises to edit. Anne is bored by Dmitry’s look. Evan thinks he is phoning it in. Les doesn’t want him to pull a Seth Aaron. Anne think’s Evan’s “ruffles” make her think of a little girl? Les yell texts that it’s RIBBONS Anne. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. She’s correct of course. Michelle thinks her garment looks like a light bulb glowing from inside out. Anne asks if that is a good thing. Les thinks Michelle has lost too much blood. I laugh and wish she were here. She thinks Juli has elevated her look this week. She thinks Christina’s look is looking a little bridal and wants it to make more of an impact. Les text yells again “Like a wedding dress doesn’t make an impact!” she misses Tim. We all do Les. We all do. Anne loves that Irina makes things harder for herself? Les points out that in choosing a jumpsuit since that hasn’t been a top look recently.
Anne would wear Sean’s in a heartbeat. That’s a good critique. She needs something more from Anthony Ryan and reminds him that winners go home. She loves Anya’s fabric. Anya is worried her look is too Anya. Hmmmm. Cynthia is doing a whole dress as a corset and Anne is fascinated, but worried about her time management. Anne doesn’t love Django’s colors and once again he essentially calls her an idiot. Hasn’t she been to the FOREST? This is the BEST green. Dude…seriously? She points out he’s never been in the top. He’s Django…the future Classic. I didn’t make that up. He said it out loud.
The models come in and Dmitry is happy and unhappy with a tulle sleeve he’s created. Cynthia is in trouble. She doesn’t have enough fabric to close the back. Jasper commences terrorizing his model. Everyone thinks he’s crazy. Dmitry has come to terms with his design. Christina is now doubting herself. Dmitry notices Jasper gluing lace on his corset. Michelle thinks it is total BS. I text Les that I have finally gotten to “Elmer Gate” as she has paused the show to wait for me. I seriously don’t know how our fearless leader types so fast.
On runway day. Jasper points out to Christina that she was supposed to do a corset as outerwear not INSIDE the dress. It’s SO much harder. Okay, Mr. Glue Gun. She quietly says what she has done wasn’t easy. I would have told him to stick his glue gun up his ass. Django is still raving about his green. Juli validates him. Dmitry tells Christina that Evan told him what he did “wasn’t his best work.”Evan is sorry not sorry. Christina points out that this isn’t her best work and can he leave so she can just finish already? Dmitry points out that they are all very fragile about their work, especially before the runway. At least he’s honest about his insecurity. Stop trying to make JCPenney happen Project Runway. Michelle loves Dmitry but she is worried about him. She makes a funny comment about Cynthia’s model having her church hat on. Michelle can be funny without being a total bitch. Jasper’s slits are god awful. I point out to Les that I thought Irina, Django or Evan would bring the bitchy first. Can we trade Jasper and get nice, talented, SANE Sunny back? Please?
Alyssa looks nice! Always such a pleasant surprise. Olivia Culpo…okay…..Rebecca Minkoff…LEGIT!!!! We are content. Michelle’s model looks very, pajama-y to me. Les thinks it is neither here nor there. Les wonders if it looks better in person. She thinks that Dmitry’s look like a fancy referee outfit. She thinks maybe that’s not a bad thing? Since women are now doing this job? I text back that this is a bad thing. It’s like a Franken-outfit. Les thinks that Sean’s looks straight out of the nineties and it’s not a good look. I actually kind of like it in a weird Beverly Hills 90210 wave of nostalgia. I can see both Kelly AND Brenda in it. Maybe they would have fought over it…like the prom dress episode!!!! Ok, I’m old. We are both impressed by Christina’s construction even though Les thinks she missed the mark on the peplum. At least she took a risk (cough, Jasper, cough). I think it’s awesome. Les is bored by Evan’s safe, boring, tuxedo-esque, bland colored dress. I’m getting Herve Leger. That’s not a bad thing. Why in God’s green earth did Cynthia think this hat was a good idea? It takes away from the dress. Les text mutters: ay caramba. Goodbye Jasper…don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. Les thinks it looks like a Victoria’s Secret runway preview before the angels come out and that no one would ever wear this. He’s worried the judges aren’t going to get the slits. Jasper, NO ONE gets the slits. Anya’s model looks like she got drunk and then dressed in the dark. Les thinks she has too many ideas. I think she doesn’t know how to FUCKING SEW. Juli is very happy with her flowy witch dress. Les has no opinion about this one. Les thinks that Irina’s model is NOT wearing a jumpsuit. Nope, underneath that cool coat she is wearing what some of the more risque ladies wear to Lenox Mall in Atlanta on the weekends and your mind is actually BLOWN that someone would go out like that in public. Les and I both love Anthony Ryan’s. The colors might be extreme, but the shape is lovely.
Les can get behind Django, just worried there isn’t enough corset action going on. I hate it. And I’ve been in the fucking forest Django. Les picks Anthony Ryan, Irina and Christine for her top three with Anthony R to win. I pick Anthony Ryan, Irina and Christina for the top. Christina to win. Anya, Jasper and Dmitry for the bottom with Jasper to go.
Olivia loves the shape Christina’s garment gives her model She also loves the peplum. Isaac loves it and Georgina thinks the color story of bone over flesh makes it very special. Christina should tell Anne about this the next time she sees her! Alyssa can’t believe that Christina created the lattice work. You just know she’s picturing herself wearing this.
Jasper introduces his “Behind every great man is a great woman” look. (still don’t get this concept as it isn’t 1953) and mentions he loves how freeing a corset is. Right. Georgina says she appreciates the black and white with the lace overlay, but if it’s going to be done, it needs to be done perfectly. Olivia wished he had framed it differently. It goes wrong for Isaac in the fabric. (Christina is a better woman than I, I would have piped up, “Tell them about your glue gun skills!”) Rebecca thinks the concept and sentiment of his theme “Behind every great man blah blah blah is just outdated and his garment reflects that. That might be the single best shade on a runway ever. She states that there is JUST A GREAT WOMAN. Amen. Alyssa is upset and confused by the whole thing.
Rebecca think’s Dmitry’s is fresh? Olivia loves the juxtaposition of feminine and sporty but thinks there is too much going on. The side of the outfit kills Isaac in a bad way. Or as he says, It kills MOI. Alyssa loves everything but the hem. Isaac thinks Cynthia’s dress is pretty to a fault. Rebecca doesn’t really get the corset factor and thinks she looks like she’s going to a wedding or a christening. (it’s that damn hat). Olivia thinks the dress is predictable and hates the hat. Georgina tells her not to second guess herself.
Isaac has no idea what the print is doing on Django’s organza. Olivia thinks it looks messy and that it’s confusing. Rebecca says that they lose the beauty of the corset with the rest of the outfit. Alyssa thinks he did a great job with the exception of the sheen on the forest fabric. Rebecca thinks Irina’s look is innovative and looks a like a fashion armadillo. In a good way. Um…ok. Olivia hates the face mask and the pants because they take away from the garment. But she loves the rest of it. Isaac thought it was the most interesting take on a corset. Georgina thinks she made it feminine and beautiful. However she is bored Irina keeps doing the same silhouette.
Christina wins!! Yay! Deservedly so! I would have smacked Jasper on my way out, but she is more gracious. I’m still confused by Dmitry being in the top. Instead of Anthony Ryan? Just don’t get it. Django survives to create more classic looks. Jasper is eliminated, ALSO deservedly so. We will miss him. Sort of. Not really. Hopefully, weather and children permitting Les and I will be together next week. I have a special bottle of sparkling Gruner chilled and ready. We look forward to hearing from you in the comments!!! Xoxo CJ and Les.