You know I’m under the weather when my Vanderpump Rules recap is late. I have an unhealthy obsession with the SUR crowd that requires constant input. Maybe there’s a part of me that wishes I could live in my twenties, forever. Maybe life would be easier if I had zero self-awareness or empathy. There could be a certain freedom in not following societal rules and mores. Since I’m unable to treat the world like it’s my own personal fingerbowl, I rely on the VPR kids to show me what could have been, had I been born with no conscience.
Stassi throws a party for a holiday she purchased as a tie-in for the book she’s writing. Hey, National Outfit Of The Day day isn’t any more ridiculous than Sexy Unique Restaurant restaurant. Basic is smarter than you think. The Witches use a purported self-empowerment event to bully Lala into submission. Her kindness towards James is used as a cudgel to beat the demons out of her head. She quickly agrees to ditch studio time in favor of group navel-gazing. Sending Tom Sandoval (and his sad swan trumpet) in her place is the basest cruelty. Brittany is fighting her own battles. She has enough brain cells left to recognize something went wrong at the staff meeting. She just doesn’t know what is was. After Jax gives LVP an aggressive nonpology, she tries to smooth things over. You and Jax have such a funny dynamic thing, ha ha. But the aw shucks routine has lost its charm. LVP holds her to task and Brittany finally realizes Jax’s bad acts make her look bad. That has to be a huge pill to swallow.
After the party, the Witches retreat to Casa Maloney-Schwartz. Jax and Brittany trap them in a corner, the unwitting audience to a revolving cycle of fiancé/fiancée freakouts. It’s the Bridezilla circle of Dante’s Inferno, english subtitles optional. Brittany is like a spoiled child at Toys ‘R Us. She screams, she stomps her foot. She wants her Perfect Princess Engagement and she wants it now. The incoherent ranting, the persecution complex, the dilated pupils, certainly could be chemically induced but we have no reason to assume so.
After our appetizers and salad, bit player Billie Lee is offered as the episode entrée. Billie spent her first season laying groundwork for a starring role. She gave us much needed LGBTQIA representation but wasn’t scared to skirt controversy. She made sure she was in frame during Any. And. All. group drama. She even tried to follow the most important rule of casting: sleep with a cast member (well, in her case, cast member adjacent). She wants to spill a drink in slo-mo so bad. So why can’t VPR make Billie a thing? The easy answer: she does everything right, incredibly wrong.
Billie is an actress on reality TV. After weighing her season 7 options, she made the conscious decision to ride the James train. A smaller pond can bring bigger rewards (yes!), until you find yourself on a sinking ship. Strike one. Lisa Vanderpump appreciates Billie’s pluck, her drive. She gives her Brunch With Billie, a branding bonanza as yet unseen on VPR (go, Billie!). Billie invites the recently fired James Kennedy (awkward) and gets aggressive with patrons/known troublemakers Katie and Kristen. Strike two.
Katie wants to prove firing James was a good business decision. She takes his time slot and turns it into Girls’ Night In. All of your favorite VPR ladies, dressed in their finest silk. A sparkle bar. A not-James-Kennedy DJ. It’s a big, sexy slumber party, Girl Power. Zig-a-zig ah. But not everyone’s feeling the love. Billie is furious to be left out of the gig. She’s ready to be a cast member, with all the perks and exposure that comes along. Katie might as well have rifled through her purse for loose change. If only she had played the girl card, built bridges, joined the coven. She could have made them all look better for loving her. But when a childhood demon raises it’s nasty head, sometimes even the strongest of us stumble.
After a lifetime of being excluded from female activities, Billie recognizes this pain. It’s sharp, engulfing. She takes her battle to social media, looking for war. Transphobic. Hate. The Witches don’t back down. They don’t hate her for being trans (something she can’t help), they hate her for being Team James (something she can). If they were even slightly interested in female inclusion, they would have hired a woman DJ. Billie in so entrenched in her past trauma, she lashes out like a hurt animal. She wants to shame them, make them feel as bad as she does. Her delusions and baseless accusations are only rivaled by the Witches mocking their cis-privilege. I’m disgusted with all of them. Lala is permanently canceled. Strike eleventy-billion.
These days, no storyline is complete without an ultimatum to Lisa. The day after Girls’ Night In, Billie makes her impassioned “She can put down the food” speech to a horrified LVP. Ugh.
Next week: “You’re not fucking better than me, Lala!” Roller costume birthday party. Sandoval tells tales out of school about Ariana’s shy vagina. Tom and Tom finally get their TomTom reveal.
Well!! That was EXTREMELY well-written. Really good. Haven’t seen it yet-and they took away our TV in the front lobby (turned it to permanent security cams, how comforting for guests!!). And I’m working third, but I could really see it all, very descriptive yet terse. I totally get you because my twenties were good times hunni. 1975-1985 were great. So happy I got it out of my system before having 3 children!! Everybody is being super extra at the same time. It’s exhausting. When Stassi is our delightful reprieve, we’re screwed.
If Billie Lee is the token trans, her histrionics are doing nothing to promote LGBTQ inclusiveness. Having felt like an outsider for much of my life (even when I was popular), I have empathy for her hurt feelings. Before trans surgery, there is a lot of counseling. Too bad no one taught her basic communication skills. She wasn’t excluded from the Girls Night, just from the planning. She would have been more effective if she had said “I felt very hurt and excluded when you didn’t invite me to be involved with the planning. I felt like you didn’t see me as a “real girl.” Instead Of screeching. A MATURE conversation MAY have followed. But noooooooo…
I thought it was sad that Lala dumped James after her heartfelt overture. He was her first and only friend for quite a while. All of those WeHo Hoes have been given second (and third) chances. James deserves it too.
I feel like Katie would’ve responded to a mature composed Billie with screeching and yelling anyhow. She was kinda damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. Unless Billie’s willing to give up a kidney to prove her hatred of James, she’s not going to be allowed in the coven.
You’re probably right. Those girls wouldn’t give her a chance regardless of how she handled it. BUT (and it’s a big one) she could have won the court of popular opinion. Instead, she looked as bad as women mocking cis-privilege. It takes a lot to sink that far.
Very true, Lady C. I do wonder if anyone on this show thinks far enough outside their bubble to consider public opinion when the show airs.
I feel like she knew except what she was doing with the comment “if she’s going to pull the fat card, I’m going to pull the Trans-card.”
She’s horrible. I HATE when people pull the race, religion, gender, etc. etc. etc. card. Sometimes people just don’t like YOU! Another thing, being a woman isn’t just boobs and vagays, make-up and dresses. So sick of that shit.
If Billie Lee is the token trans, her histrionics are doing nothing to promote LGBTQ inclusiveness. Having felt like an outsider for much of my life (even when I was popular), I have empathy for her hurt feelings. Before trans surgery, there is a lot of counseling. Too bad no one taught her basic communication skills. She wasn’t excluded from the Girls Night, just from the planning. She would have been more effective if she had said “I felt very hurt and excluded when you didn’t invite me to be involved with the planning. I felt like you didn’t see me as a “real girl.” Instead Of screeching. A MATURE conversation MAY have followed. But noooooooo… Let’s just act like a bitch, like a “real girl.”
I thought it was sad that Lala dumped James after her heartfelt overture. He was her first and only friend for quite a while. All of those WeHo Hoes have been given second (and third) chances. James deserves it too.
You’re right, Billie wasn’t excluded from the event but most likely was left out of the planning because she defended James at the last meeting and this event was an antiJames event.
Lala should have rescheduled with James instead of ditching him and sending Tom in her place. But that would have been far too civil of a way to handle it..
I had to look up cis. Short for cisgendered. I guess I would have to rewatch the episode but is Billie shaming these girls for being cisgendered? Is that a new thing now? I cannot keep up with all the gender and ethnic based political identity bullshit. The ‘adulting’ thing? They change it everyday according to their feels. These people are completely irrational. Who raised these morons? Great recap Lady. Your opening paragraph was epic.
Billie was trying to use “CIS privilege” in the same way that people of color use white privilege. In other words because the witches of weho were born female, they don’t realize the opportunities they have had and taken for granted being accepted a female where as trans women often don’t have the same opportunities to be accepted in the world as equal to CIS females. We might have been more open to pondering this concept if she hadn’t fat shamed Katie (WHO IS NOT FAT) to her boss. If you are coming on a show to represent transwomen, you might want to try a little bit harder not to be such a cunt and an angry transwoman. If you are going to on the ambassadorship, who need to be positive advocate.
I was disappointed in Lala too.
I half watched this show twice. The first time I was working and lost focus on the show. The second time was sort of the same. Nothing made me stop doing prep work to pay attention.
Brittany was very out of character. I hope it was a hormonal imbalance coupled with the stress of being engaged to Jax Taylor and not some sort of recreational activity gone wrong. Perhaps she is on the Adderall diet for her upcoming wedding because her behavior didn’t fit the situation.
I have a feeling LVP is trying to figure out how to fire the transgirl that is a disruption to her Sexy Unique Restaurant restaurant.
Definitely Billie was mistaken and out of line and Katie is NOT FAT. Back in the mid-nineties I had two different customers that were trans. Every time they had to come to the office, people would stare and snigger behind their hands. I was mortified for them and myself and apologized profusely to them. Our appointments would last much longer as we would get to talking in my office. They did not make pretty women as the options today are far better, but were never bitter about the hand they were dealt. Far better humans than me for sure. They would always thank me for taking such good care of them which is what you are SUPPOSED to do. When they would leave, I would lose my shit on my co-workers who I otherwise loved. And btw, they were all males of varying races and ethnicities. I hope life has finally been kind to them. They deserved it.
Do you REALLY think LVP would fire the Brunch With Billie figurehead? Not if it brings in money. I am one of the people who likes LVP but doesn’t think she pees perfume (Mr. Goodbar) but I wonder if she may thrive on drama because it gives her the op to be the peacemaker.
Brittany has been getting on my nerves lately. I don’t know which would be worse — if she is getting that sense of entitlement because everyone likes her, if the pressures of living with Jax and defending him are getting to her, or if she is the new Scheana softcore villain/victim. Scheana is a person I USED to like until she opened her mouth with that Valley Girl Clothespin-nose inflection to her voice. So many, mostly young, women have picked up on the Koutney Kardashian affectation and it is NOT sexy. I have no respect for her after she used James to “help” her move (she did NOTHING) and then dumped him. One more reason for him to drink.
I was thinking, wait Billie they just treated you like they would any other girl they were pissed at. How many times has Scheana been shunned? Those bitches treat everyone like this
Absolutely agree with all of this TT. And I sadly agree about Brittany. She seems very off. Much like Jax, she’s giving off a “stimulated” vibe. I hope she survives him.
Ps – Lady C’s recaps are the only reason I watch this stupid show anymore. I look forward to them every week!
Awww, thanks ChillyWilly. And sorry for encouraging you to watch this dreck!
Billie needs to go. We hope LVP finds a way to move her along like maybe TRANSfer her to another restaurant? Certainly she doesn’t need to be a regular on the show. We have already seen enough of her angry, chip on her shoulder nonsense. Her transformation is now complete. She revealed herself as a pushy troublemaker.
I had to watch this episode four times because I was too distracted with other things to pay attention.
Is anyone else getting irritated with Ariana? She is so negative and awful for Tom and his business venture with Tom-Tom. Why does she even open her big mouth to make any comments at all? She isn’t married to Tom! She has no intention of marrying him or having children so why doesn’t she just shove off? I think that Lisa sees this and in part is why she offered a stake in the business to Sandoval. She knows it MIGHT help him establish himself and start a family. Ariana isn’t just selfish. She is jealous too. Bye, girl! Just move on to being with chicks. If you liked being with a dude, you would marry Tom Sandoval and try to have a baby, no question.
I can’t stand Katie.
The all gang up on Raquel, when in the same situation last year, they coddled Brittney.
I used to like Lala but she is making it hard this season,
The show is not as entertaining as it used to be, much like the housewife’s.
Hope they are all saving their tips.
Thanks for the recap!
So your friends with the person everyone hates & then u cry because your excluded?
The exclusion had nothing to do with being trans. It had everything to do with Billie being a bitch. That being said, my ears were bleeding with Tom and that trombone or whatever it was he thinks he can play.
Good recap, Lady C.
I had to laugh at Katie talking about Brittany wanting the limelight because she is engaged.
I remember how Katie was before her wedding, during her wedding, and after her wedding.
Everyone and everything had to be about Katie, because she was getting married, and she should
have whatever she wants. She was mean and demanding and ignorant. Brittany had one little moment.
Hope it’s not a whole season of Brittany acting like Katie did.
Tom and his trumpet? I believe if he actually played in high school he should be MUCH better. Did he just pick one up at a pawn shop and suddenly he’s a trumpet player? Kids 1st year of band are way more advanced than Tom. But he was there for James. I like that Tom makes his own decisions about ppl and doesn’t follow what the mean girls try to dictate.
Katie actually made my favorite comment this episode. “I’m not doing this for the next year, Jax making everything about HIS wedding.” You know Jax is going to give Brittany a run for her Bridezilla title. They better get a spin-off so I can change the channel.
“A spin-off so you can change the channel!” LOL funny stuff right there!
Oh, man, you know Jax will be a groomzilla. He already is with butting into Lisa and Brittany’s conversation and being a blow hard at the “Work Meeting”. Jax will be Jax.
This is so funny and so true. Jax just THRIVES on being the center of attention. A friend got into a screaming match with him at SUR. And it was about that. Grommzilla is a good description. I was wondering if he would wear a sweater, which reminded me … whatever happened to “his” sweater line?
Hi! I liked her comment about Billie. She said there were bottles that have been behind the bar in the restaurant longer than Billie has been there. Why is Billy acting like she owns the place? Ha, ha, ha. That comment was on point.
Billie doesn’t have the “it” factor for me.. Accusing Katie of being transphobic is awful..They couldn’t make Faith happen either. Faith..even on Ex’s on the beach ..was a snooze. Some ppl have it and don’t. Ariana being more into girls them boys …makes complete sense for me..Find you bliss girl!! I don’t think it’s gonna be with Tom.
Ariana would be happy to marry Tom and try to have a baby IF she loved him. She doesn’t. I think we know that she is too conflicted. Down deep inside she KNOWS she isn’t marriage material… to a man. She is cheating Tom out of having a family by hanging around. Of course, she is going to be JEALOUS at the restaurant reveal. She is jealous because she isn’t a true partner. Bye, girl! You stuck around with Tom to be on the TV show, mostly. If the show was canceled, she would move out.
Going into the season I had casually read interviews where everyone gets along now, blah, blah, blah.
I’m surprised how much this episode disgusts me. I’ll start with:
Katie and Kristen – They really are mean girls. The past couple seasons I felt Katie was trying to reign her mean girl in a bit because of how horrible we’ve seen her. It’s never felt authentic that she learned from seeing herself and truly wanted to change. Kristen is clearly so happy James made the mean comment to Katie and Brittany so she can vilify him. The last straw was her running around the interview room on a victory lap. Delighting in someone else’s mess up is cringey. I got it Kristen, you’re glad he screwed up so you can try to get him off the show. Maybe something did happen at the pool last year.
Lala – I admired her going to meet with James as a caring friend because that’s what her dad would have done. She gave him good advice that they are too old for this and need to change. Lala knows James need this show and he needs to turn things around to stay. It made me sick how quickly Lala jumped on the “James is evil” train after Katie and Kristen got a hold of her. Those two controlling witches like to freeze people out that have fallen out of favor.
James crime doesn’t warrant his punishment. Yes he messes up a lot but I don’t see him as evil. Wounded, yes.
Everyone is sucking up to Lala now. Could it have anything to do with her boyfriend? There was a joint birthday blowout for Katie and Brittany this past weekend in Vegas. They got to go on Randall’s private jet, they had a 2 story suite (separate bedrooms) for everyone at Caesar’s, Nobu for dinner, nightclubs – very first class. Missing – James and Scheana. If Lala stopped dating/marrying Randall how many of these people would be around.
I 100% agree with everything you said. The Kristen stuff was hard to watch. It made me angry. I will revel in her pain and trouble when it finds her, the way she reveled in James’. I don’t even like James but the whole thing feels like a witch hunt.
I can’t with Lala this season. She used to be interesting, a multi dimensional human. Now she is just sex and money and bitch. A caricature. Yay you got a rich guy, congrats.
Billie Lee was full on tonight. She went all the way left because she felt excluded. I understand how that feels (I think we all do) but to imply people are transphobic because your feelings were hurt is a reach.
Basically, I am out on Kristen (have been for awhile), out on Lala, out on Schena, and out on Billie Lee. Don’t love LVP either. The rest I still enjoy watching way more than most real housewives.
None would be around if Lala and Randall broke up. They’d prob blame her even if dumped her out of the blue. I like her but it’s hard to watch her try to be like Katie and Kristen. Katie is just so blah! She’s not nice, she’s not funny, she’s not stylish, she really does nothing except treat people like dirt. I swear she’s jealous that she’s not having another wedding and angry at the thought of Brittany and Jax upstaging her “perfect” wedding. ? Kristen running victory laps yelling that she won during her little interview was so sad and strange.
Randall, for all of his money, is a huge nope for me. He is not physically attractive to me and he is a pushover. Nopity, nope, nope. I love how these successful supposedly, intelligent men can’t see the forest for their dicks. I’ll take middle-class, smart, funny with some sexy anyday.
Randall is definitely not hot. I don’t know him though so maybe he has a great personality. Lala would most likely be just as happy with someone in her age group. My man, sorry I had to do it, is 8 years older than me but I’m getting close to 40. Falling in love with divorcing a 40-something in my mid twenties, no matter how fat the bank account, just doesn’t seem likely at all. She has no idea how much her life will change throughout the years. Of course this cast seems to live life on a hamster wheel. I’m glad to see Stassi showing some signs of growing up and having a stable relationship.
From their appearance on Jeff Lewis’ show, he walked around with a deer in the headlights look as she gleefully spent his money. Not a damn peep out of him. You could tell he was doing the math of assets and liabilities with every step. The ex and children don’t come cheap. He looked scared to death.
Agree about it being strange for Kristen to run victory laps because James was fired. She named her t-shirt brand after him! James-Mae? She named it “James”? How weird is that? She is obsessed with him. What is also weird is how she and Ariana can film together now with zero conflict. They both understand the value of a Bravo paycheck. They don’t make that $ much per episode so of course they want to milk being on the show for everything they can, like tagging along with Lala & Randall. I guess we all would, wouldn’t we? Let’s get real. Lala is only working at SUR for the Bravo paycheck too. The girl isn’t dumb.
The Vegas weekend all came from their Instagram – Katie, Brittany, Stassi, Lala, and Kristen.
Another thing that irked me was Katie not wanting to hear about Brittany and Jax wedding plans over the next year?! Well then, should Brittany follow her lead. Confused.
From their instagram accounts – Katie, Kristen and Stassi
This weeks ramblings:
Katie wasn’t transphobic. She displayed a lot of ignorance laughing about “cis privilege” with Lala, but that’s another matter.
Billie is an idiot if she thinks her transness is something to weaponise. The other waitresses she was bitching to weren’t tagged on social media or consulted either – what makes her so special?
Every time Lala shows up this season “Gwen Stefani – Rich Girl” pops into my head. Sad to see she’s the girl the witches of weho said she was.
The winners of this ep were clearly Tom and his trumpet ?
Maybe Tom’s crying dolphin trumpet and THE Dolphin should collaborate on a music video. I am sure it would be a runaway hit.
Only for questioning at black sites, Nanette! I’m sure that duo’s musical stylings could get even the most hardened target to give up ALL of the info. Lol
Agree. Tom and his trumpet were the winners of this episode. Ha! So true. He is consistently entertaining and likable.
Awesome recap per usual Lady C! Two things that summed up Lala perfectly: the scene where she’s talking about how vain Scheana is whilst wearing a sweatshirt of her HER OWN face and when she proclaimed “Lala isn’t a fiddle” as she is being played by Katie. Unreal. Hope you feel better love!
Thank you for the recap. Per usual, it was a pleasure reading and I hope you get well soon!
Ugh. Watching this episode, I have the following to say:
1.) Billie Lee – THIRSTY. Just stop. Find another tree to climb, because you’re pissing up a wet rope and are clearly creating drama.
2.) National OOTD – Most of us don’t have time for this. I’m on board with Lisa congratulating her on “National Outfit of the Day” Day – it’s great to put yourself on the map. But also I appreciate that Lisa acknowledges the reality that most of us do not have 365 outfits to celebrate. On the other hand, I think national holidays should be reserved for commemorating events which truly deserve national recognition.
3.) Lala – Think for yourself. Travel with caution, but have faith in your own bad taste. (That is an old John Waters quote.)
4.) Katie – I understand your distaste for James, but you need to learn the art of “You don’t have to trip them, but you don’t have to catch them when they fall.” You lead the campaign, and you won. Now let it go and be the best version of yourself.
5.) Kristen – I wish you well with your t-shirt business. But keep your side of the street clean and quit worrying about everyone else’s business. Until it’s your business, it isn’t your business. You can stick up for someone without actively going for them. You end up coming out smelling better, too.
6.) Jax – When in doubt, zip it.
7.) Brittany – Bless your heart. On so many levels.
8.) Ariana – No comment so far. You’re behaving nicely this season.
9.) Sandoval – You were pretty absent from this episode.
10.) James – Just keep laying low and work on rebuilding. Keep your side of the street clean and stop ripping on other people. You have pissed off so many people, so when you say mean-spirited things it re-opens the wound and it affirms beliefs about your propensity towards bad behavior.
This is me commenting in a good mood.
Billie is a horrible person.
You are a horrible person for trying to call someone transphobic THEN calling them fat.
Billie is a horrible, horrible person.
Katie is not transphobic, she’s just a cunt. Billie needs to grow up. No respect for people who use the phrase “play the *x* card.” Shows that they are manipulative and calculating.
Katie has a lot of cisgender privilege she needs to “check,” but I doubt it’s from a place of close -mindedness. I don’t doubt that Billie had a lot of privilege within HER community as a white woman who can “pass” too… we all have our learning curves.
So, Billie expects to be included in planning a party AFTER treating Katie and Kristen like shit at her brunch? And when she’s not, she claims its because she’s transgender?
Then, because she’s just a nasty bitch who hates that she’s still slinging drinks at Sur while the others just show up to film, she drops the insult she’s been looking to drop all along: James is right. Katie’s FAT. Hey honey, she’s no bigger than you, so zip it.
Yeah, way to be an ambassador for your community, Billie.
LVP is a pretty fair business woman, I cannot imagine her shutting her restaurant to men every Tuesday evening. It would seem James’ event would be more inclusive and less boring. Katie had a good night-they all seem to take turns using the restaurant for an event. Of course they are all successful. It is the week after week events that bring in the dough.
My impression when a cast member says they were left out of something has more to do with not be included in filming. Kristen is trying way too hard to relevant and her only “card” to play is to ambush someone with a real or imagined old lover or mother and to try and exclude someone.
I saw Billie’s side of being excluded and she did exactly the same thing Katie did tattled to LVP. Don’t know how Katie can be upset with Billie’s behavior. James should not subject someone to exclusion. Let’s if the mean girls go to the opening of Tom Tom’s when James is deejaying. It would seem out of principle they would sit the opening out.
Your opening paragraph completely explained to me why I continue to watch this show, giggling! Thank you Lady C for the amazing re caps!
I am so disappointed in Billy! I can on the one hand understand her being overly sensitive at times but in this particular situation it was personal not prejudice. The witches were treating her no differently then they have any of the other girls who were “on the outs” any other time. She did nothing to help her story and that of her community. Bums me out. I kinda don’t like her now and I really want to damnit!