With all the couples now married, most of them seem happier than usual with their arranged partner. The main exception is Luke who is… well weird. Or perhaps he is the only sane one? It could go either way. The others seem oddly thrilled with their mates. But tonight we are literally in the honeymoon phase. Will the excitement wear off?
We skip the usual getting ready, the car rides to the airport, the check-ins, the tacky t-shirts and all the things we are used to seeing and go straight to the couples entering their hotel rooms in Costa Rica. Costa Rica seems like a honeymoon upgrade to me and I am excited to see where they stay and what activities are chosen to stir up conflict. Okay I lied, the first night was obviously in the hotel rooms where they got married. They found out at breakfast they were going to Costa Rica. I am not going to edit that out everywhere because I am slammed today and so far behind due to lots of drama at the ghetto shack today.
Kate & Luke
There didn’t appear to be any carrying of Kate across the threshold or any other pomp and circumstance. We check in with these two awkwardly sitting on a small sofa awkwardly opening bottles of water while ignoring the chilled bottle of white, or perhaps rosé and the bottle of red. If I had just married Luke, I’d need several drinks. The chat awkwardly about the wedding. I feel the need to look up synonyms for awkward. Then Luke blurts out, “This couch is so comfy. I will sleep on it.” Kate visibly deflates at the perceived rejection. Kate says they can share the bed and he agrees and let’s her choose a side. This should not even be a discussion. The woman sleeps on the left side of the bed and the right side of the bed must be closest to the door to the bedroom.
The next morning the couple is a little less awkward. Luke sort of mocks her for bringing “too much toothpaste” and brushing her teeth twice. We are fourteen minutes in and Luke has reminded us twice in confessional it is not love at first sight.
Luke finally shows excitement when he sees the Costa Rican honeymoon suite. He also has a sloth fetish and he is a night showerer. I have a lot in common with Luke. This concerns me. I would love to see a sloth. Kate is just doing whatever makes Luke happy. She’s bored. She’s not an animal person. It shows. I’m fascinated by it all.
Over dinner Kate mentions she finds it odd that he hasn’t kissed her yet. Luke seems super uncomfortable by the topic. He doesn’t have much of an answer. Next week, the kiss happens and Luke is horrifically mean to her about how it made him feel.
Stephanie & AJ
Stephanie and AJ are already making out and snuggling in bed. The both seem down for “the sex.” She is in full makeup. When these too have breakfast, the customary bride and groom swag is also delivered.
In Costa Rica, Stephanie lets us know she is used to being the bigger personality and she is not in this relationship so as she says, “This will be interesting.”
Kristine & Keith
These two are also snuggling up in bed. They seem to have the most sexual chemistry. Their first morning together Keith asks Kristine to change her name. Kristine says it would be bad for her real estate career to do so.
In Costa Rica, their first stop is… the gym? This was Kristine’s idea. Keith went along with it.
Did I miss their activity? Because these two are in the bathtub together. I think swimsuits are involved. She’s not every worried about getting her hair wet! There is lots of making out. It looks like their activity is next week.
Jasmine & Will
Joining the cuddle fest are these two. I have high hopes for them but the previews show they will fight about finances sooner or later.
Jasmine is a thrill seeker. In Costa Rica the ATV trip was selected for her. Will is just going along…um for the ride. Jasmine almost crashes her ATV. Will doesn’t get off his ATV to help her because he doesn’t know how to put his in park. And so the relationship begins to unravel. Some employees had to come help her. She didn’t feel married or protected. Will isn’t really the take charge guy she needs.
Over dinner, Jasmine asks about gender roles. Will asks her if she can cook. She says yes, and he says, “There you have it.” He laughs and says he doesn’t expect his wife to work an eight-hour day and then come home and make a feast every night. He says he doesn’t believe in traditional gender roles. This will be a problem for Jasmine. She does believe in traditional roles. Will wants a fifty/fifty split on bills. This is something that the matchmakers should have asked all of the participants. They dropped the ball here.
So what do you think about the couples now? Things seem to be unraveling for most of the couples already.
OKAY OKAY, I WON’T SPOIL IT!!!! So sorry, TT, for my gaffe last season. (tail between legs)…
I love this show so much, it is totally irrational.
Luke and Kate – I feel so sorry for her. She is beautiful and sweet in a Laura Ashley romantic way. Luke could be really awesome, too, for the right lady. I LIKE that he wants to take his time, that he was uncomfortable with the strippers during the bachelor party, and doesn’t kiss on first dates. He has a sensitive, thoughtful side and wants to really feel it. But he has totally friend zoned her. Oh, no. That has to be devastating for her. I look forward to future episodes based on this alone, although I know it will end in tears and divorce (no, not a spoiler, but my gut talking).
Stephanie and AJ – he is a total goofball, I’d run away screaming from him. And it is so odd that she digs him, but – hey! – every pot has a lid, they say. I’m wondering how long it will be before his over the top personality irritates the F out of her. She seems pretty normal, attractive and successful, so I wonder why she’s doing this.
Kristine and Keith – she irritated me in the earlier episodes and seems like a pain in the ass princess (er, excuse me, *queen*), so I’m pleasantly surprised at how these two seem so taken with each other. Their chemistry is nice to see. The cracks are already showing, though, when she comments that he’s not tall or buff enough for her. Seriously? She drags him to the gym? WTF? And because he is pussy whipped already, he goes along with it. I wonder how long this will last.
Jasmine and Will – they are well matched, as they are both hypocrites about traditional gender roles – he expects her to do all the cooking (yes, he does), she expects him to be the main provider, and neither is happy about it. I think Jasmine’s POV would make more sense if she couched it in terms of him being a provider so that she could be a SAHM if that becomes necessary, so they didn’t have to depend on a second income. But no, she is very inarticulate and not particularly insightful. His view about 50/50 on finances seems reasonable. But he just doesn’t GAF and leaves her on her own when she had trouble with the ATVs, a failure to step up that didn’t put him in a good light. I predict trouble with these two, as well.
My crystal ball – none of these will work out for long term. The most spectacular break up will be Luke and Kate.
Off topic: TT have you considered recapping Million Dollar Listing? I would love to hear your snark and have a forum to discuss. Just wondering?!?! Thanks for considering!
Will is confusing roommate with wife. A roommate splits bills 50/50 and you don’t help them when they fall off an ATV.. A wife and husband discuss what works best for the household. BUT 50/50 feels very roomatish, not life partnerish. he doesn’t seem to have a natural inclination to protect or care for a woman. I would expect any man to help a woman who takes a fall off an ATV as a natural human response.
Jasmine would make out better with a roommate , she would not have to cook, clean or perform other wifely duties.
Suzy Ormonn has a great suggestion for bills for couples who want to share the household expenses: the same percentage of each person’s salary goes towards expenses. She made a good point that 50/50 doesn’t account for a possible income difference that might be a burden on the person with the lower income in the relationship.
If he makes 100k and she makes 50k or vice versa, 50/50 is a big chunk of money for the one making less money.
Luke is not going to get over seeing her at the speed dating event he hosted. She went there after committing to the show. He recognized her as she was walking down the aisle but she didn’t remember him.
I like the effort Kristine is putting into the marriage, the bathtub was a nice idea. She’s not totally selfish but the gym thing was an interesting choice. I wish them luck. Hopefully, Keith finds his voice.
AJ and his wife seem to get along well so far.
Luke is gay.. I don’t know how anyone else doesn’t see it
It’s been mentioned before here.
Luke is queerer than a $3 bill. There’s photos online of him officiating at a Gay wedding. No 31 yr old hetero male says “it repulsed me” when kissing a beautiful woman. I’m beyond outraged that married would pair a Gay man to a woman wanted love and marriage.
You need to see the pics on his old Myspace page…