Sometimes Vanderpump Rules is nothing more than a series of vignettes, a way to reposition the cast for future storytelling. Thanks to Stassi Schroeder’s mother, tonight’s chess board shuffle comes with a side of Lymopause. Dayna’s IMDB page proudly lists 11 episodes of Vanderpump Rules. She has a thriving Etsy store that trades entirely on her daughter’s name. She’s the fun mom of Vanderpump Rules. You thought James’ mother explained a lot? Just you wait…
But first, we have to deal with fallout from Stassi’s Fucking Birthday. Her rage-a-thon continued past the footage shown last week. There was a public confrontation. A classic Stassi meltdown. A humiliated Beau. The next morning, hungover and makeup-free, they meet to regroup and recover. Folks who follow Instagram claim Beau is amazing but I have reservations. I’ve heard too many glowing recommendations of Patrick (and even Jax) to take anyone’s word for it. Stassi has a broken picker and I won’t pretend otherwise. But the way they support each other without enabling, and the way he looks at her, touches my cold, black heart. Uh oh, someone has a crush on Stassi’s boyfriend. Expect biased critiques from here on out.
Since no one will film with James, he brings in a ringer for a reshoot. It’s ice cream and advice, redux. Across town, the rest of the cast gets another opportunity to roast him in absentia, this time under the guise of a SUR staff meeting. Lisa is known as a bit of a cold fish so it’s interesting she holds a feelings summit anytime drama occurs in the workplace. Jax is clearly the #1 guy in the meeting. He’s amped, disrespectful. He’s barely employed at SUR but he has the most to say. Brittany makes sure we know Jax isn’t the only idiot in the family. She wants a bigger role in the James saga. What part of “I’m Engaged” don’t they understand? Hey, remember when a stranger put gum in Brittany’s hair in a scuffle over a 1st class bathroom? Yeah, me too. Before we’re able to shoot this miserable public forum in the head and move on, Billie gives the mean girls a new target by blaming Kristen for James’ problems. Lala vociferously disagrees and we’re graced with our first, “You’re not better than me, Lala.”
TomTom is still a construction site but plans move forward. The Daily Mail has scheduled their yearly party at the newest Vanderpump institution. Ken slips up and mentions it’s a paid gig. I wonder how much longer he’ll be allowed off-leash. Sandoval is dead set on reclaiming his cocktail list from Pandy Pumpy Todd. He serves 25 of his finest craft cocktails, ironically named and diligently photographed. LVP selects three to serve at the Daily Mail party. Unfortunately, they never make it onto the TomTom menu.
Scheana lives a world of her own, projecting a story carefully crafted and cast. You’d think she’d come up with something more interesting than a sexless love triangle. Soap opera acting and greasy hair do not a storyline make.
The james.mae relaunch party is the last full cast event. Everyone except Scheana wears one of Kristen’s ridiculous tees. Brittany, still smarting from Katie’s gentle questioning at the rage room, whispers poison thoughts in Jax’s ear. He’s her attack dog, happy to fly into a mind-numbing rage at the drop of a hat. Who is against the bride will die! Tom Schwartz makes sure there are plenty of people around when he tells his wife James is DJing the first ever TomTom party. But the real star of the party is Dayna, Mother of Mother of Dragons. Beau (still in the throes of PTSD from a game of mommy grab ass the night before) finds himself trapped in a haze of vodka, bad decisions, and funky jewelry. Dayna covers all the cringe bases. Unsteady. Inappropriate. Desperate. She brings up grandchildren and negs her own daughter. She wants to make sure Beau knows what he’s in for. I hope Stassi has a really good therapist.
In the name of her father, Lala decides to talk to James one last time. She comes in strong, lips pursed, brow knit as much as possible. James leans on his favorite crutches: tears, blaming alcohol, blaming Kristen, more tears. When Lala demands he fix his mistakes, James cracks. He begs for time to work on himself, to make himself a better person, before cleaning up his messes. Lala shows a compassion we haven’t seen this season and agrees to support him as he heals.
The Witches of WeHo go out to dinner with their moms. There has been significant pre-gaming so Kristen carries Dayna into the restaurant. Mother Schroeder has an interesting dynamic with her daughter. She’s uncomfortably demonstrative, nuzzling Stassi’s ear like a lover. She makes a huge fuss over Kristen, encouraging a face-off for her affection. She whines about losing sleep worrying that Stassi will botch things with Jax/Frank/Patrick/Beau/Insert-Name-Here. And her ovaries are being absorbed by her body. It’s a lot, y’all. Stassi, an old pro at this game, ignores her mother’s machinations. Running away from the table is the the last act of a desperate man narcissistic mom.
Next week: Fake orgasms, Tom’s trumpet, a Bridezilla breakdown, and Billiegate.
Wow, Stassi’s mother is one fucked up piece of work. Also explains much of Stassi’s craziness. I would disown that parent in a heartbeat. Reminded me a little of my own mother who once told me I should get a nose job. I was maybe 15. I don’t love my nose to this day, but have never had it “fixed.” It’s mine. Of course she was projecting as she hated her own nose. And so is Stassi’s mother. Why have we never seen this side of her before? But Stassi’s boyfriend, Beau, seems like a gem to me. I hope he is who he appears to be. Scheana is cringeworthy…so desperate to have someone love her. Sigh.
And WTF with Kristen agreeing with everything… and not in a “lets agree so her mom will shut up” kind of way AT ALL.
Did no one catch the irony of Stassi’s mom complaining about how STASSI screwed up every relationship, including the one with Jax to the woman WHO FUCKED JAX WHILE STASSI WAS DATING HIM???
Honestly, even if I had forgiven and forgotten, my mother and all of my mother figures probably would have refused to be in the same room with Kristen…
Erica, I totally forgot about Jax and Kristen in that moment. How delicious.
Stassi’s parents bought her a chin implant for high school graduation, so there ya go!
On. Point. That woman is thirsty.
What I don’t get are the other mom’s enabling that fool. Had it been me, I would have taken her aside and told her to get your shit together, stop embarrassing your daughter, eat something and ffs start drinking water or I’m having you flagged and calling an Uber for you. I don’t have time for middle-aged women who abuse weed and alcohol and are melodramatic messes. I was not the cool mom. I was the mom who, if your friend was having trouble at home or you were being neglected or your parent was struggling, provided a seat at her dining room table for good meals and studying, a clean, safe bed if needed and encouragement with solid steps to achieve your goals. I had two young ladies that were in need and now they are successful mothers who stand on their own. They are not 30 somethings that act like tweens.
Exactly! You sound like a great mother!
Wow, that was some serious effed up behavior and what, she’s only 52?! WTF.
I felt like the other moms were slightly paralyzed with fear and embarrassment. Kristen’s mom was throwing some great wtf looks Dayna’s way. Kristen was so terrible eating up Drunk Dayna’s “praise”, it was actually word vomit but whatever. Lordy. I don’t say this lightly or with any mean spirit; bless Stassi’s heart. Seeing her mom for two episodes made me extra extra thankful for my awesome, smart, funny, loving, and not drunk momma.
Navymommy, you’re an awesome mom! Your posts are also always on point. 🙂 My house is a gathering spot for kids going through things that they can’t talk about with their parents for whatever reason. There’s always food and love in our house. My oldest is 2nd in command in her JROTC unit so we have kids over all of the time. My only hope is that they can take what they learn from us and thrive when they graduate.
Amanda…….. With wonderful ladies like ya’ll in their lives…….there is no way but up!!! Wish more of the older population would take the time to look outside of their busy lives for the kids who want and so desperately need a loving, caring and stern adult to help show them the way. Those kids you’ve helped along the way will never forget either of you, know that. Hugs!!!! 🙂
Thank you Dee! 🙂
I finally finished work, made it home, I’ve watched nothing yet…just wanted to say I love TT’s site and her commentors.
So happy to read that other moms do this just as mine does!
Keep fighting the good fight, ladies!
Stassi’s mom? Please. What a mess. Stop drinking and stop projecting your failures on your daughter. Nobody wants to coddle a 52 year old woman, it’s embarrassing. When is James going to stop crying? What’s with the crying on this show anyway? For camera’s? James, his mother, stasis’s mother.. who else? And what’s with Billie Lee having her “I am woman, hear me roar” moment. These “kids” who are in their 30’s already (my dad and mom had 5 kids by the time they were in their late 20’s and acted 10X more grown up than these idiots) are a direct result of the whole “no losers here”, “we are all winners”, “you are wonderful”, “look at me! look at me!”, “I was bullied (someone side eyed them)” crowd that is a pain in the ass for those of us who actually understand reality. And yet, I watch….
This sounds like a great episode. Looking forward to watching. Thanks for the recap Lady C. Where is Stassi ‘s father? I dont recall hearing about a divorce.
Yes, they have both been divorced and remarried… Not a fan of her Dad. Trumpian. She should ask herself where her fear of abandonment comes from. Either way, both parents appear to value superficial traits over character. I think Stassi had an inflated sense of self based on appearance and entitlement while simultaneously having poor self esteem. She is funny and smart enough – though ignorant on social/world issues – but being a reality tv star is not an occupation that gives a sense of purpose of self efficacy. All of them are too old for the sh!t they pull and that can’t feel good.
I think the divorce is fairly recent. I remember the lunch they all had when she introduced Frank and her parents seemed like a happy couple so I was surprised to hear they had divorced, but shit happens. I think it’s partly why Dayna is such a mess right now.
That wasn’t her father, it was her mother’s husband or boyfriend. They divorced when she was a preteen and he remarried a woman named Charlene.
Ah, ok thank you.
Update: she was six. Dayna remarried and divorced two more times.
That was Stassi’s dad at the Frank brunch. Her parents have been divorced since she was six (thanks, Warrior) but they came together for filming (and drinks). You get awkward shots of Dayna’s various boyfriends at Stassi’s birthday parties. Stassi’s first foray into reality TV was with her dad and his new family on the Amazing Race: Family. He’s just as bad as Dayna, in his own ways. She gets her Nazi Chic from him.
Um no, that was definitely Stassi’s dad in the episode with Frank.
I love Beau for Stassi. He grounds her and loves her, but doesn’t take her shit.
Why is Scheana still on this show? Her storyline reeks of desperation for air time.
She should have kept James as a friend because she doesn’t seem to be shooting much with the rest of the cast. Looks to me like she’s been cut off and is alone on her own delusional island.
Scheana is stupid so she thinks this Robbie/Adam devil’s triangle is interesting. And I just realized I spelled Robby’s name wrong in the recap. Not changing it. Scheana thinks he’s a celebrity but he’s not.
I wish I could be as oblivious as Sheana for 24 hours. Seriously. She’s happy as a clam. Terrible story line but the girl is happy.
Amanda………….. Me, too!!! She’ll live to be 200!!!! 🙂
Well, now. That was…insightful. Get thee to therapy, Dayna and Dayna, Jr.
Kristin’s mom was totally not up for this shit. Loved the glaring side eye, and the resigned face as she pushed her chair back to play nursemaid. She’s dines this before.
Kristen’s mom is the hero of this episode. The look she gave (while Katie’s mom sat there grinning like an idiot) wins the night. I’m so glad you called her out, Katherine 2.0.
Agree with both of you about Kristin’s mom possibly being the only clear-headed mom/adult. You absolutely nailed it about Katie’s mom grinning like the village idiot, but it was kind of funny in contrast to how cringeworthy Stassi’s mom was being.
Hint: if Katie is an idiot, good genetic possibility her mother is as well.
Glad Sheana spoke up at the meeting telling Brittany that she didn’t have to work on Tuesday nights. Brittany thinks she’s the star of the show now being with Jax. Her feelings were hurt by Jax’s actions and initially started all the mess with James. She talks like Gomer Pyle and is fake.
Guess we have to bring in the mother’s now to have a storyline.
I thought it was a great idea for Katie and Brittany to just be taken off the schedule for Tuesdays. The thing is the mean rap happened when Brittany was there as a guest, she doesn’t work that many Tuesday nights anymore anyway. Just don’t come to SUR on Tuesdays it’s not that hard.
I have a crush on Beau as well. Love that guy! He seems genuine and kind. Stassi’s Mom is an embarrassment. Why was she flirting with Beau at the birthday party? I don’t remember her being this unstable-wow. I saw a few old episodes of VR (2015)-James’ Mom has aged terribly. She was once so beautiful and you can see that alcohol has taken its toll. Thank goodness she is working on her sobriety. I don’t get this best friend role that parents take on. You’re not doing your kids any favors. My parents were just that-parents-not my friend. James must watch it because alcoholism is definitely in the genes. I think working at a bar being a DJ trying to maintain sobriety will almost be impossible. I hope he can do it.
I looked at Kristins website for her tshirt and I’m just not getting the
appeal. The average cost for a short sleeve tshirt is $36.00. The tshirts look as though they have been washed several times and the sayings on them are not even clever. I also don’t get why Tom Sandoval and Ariana are modeling some of them. It was not that long ago that Kristin was doing everything to make their lives a living hell.
I was so embarrassed for Stacci by her mother’s behavior. All I could think was alcohol and “opiates!”
As a woman of a certain age, I can verify that menopause turns some of us genuinely crazy. Dayna didn’t need the help.
The Lady Cocotte……… Yazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!! Menopause is the devil!!!! And thank gawd for ceiling fans!!!! 🙂
I thought it was very sweet for Lala to reach out to James after all the crap he has done to her. You can tell those two care about each other.
I can’t believe I feel anything similar to compassion for Stassi, but her mother’s display and her father leaving when she was six, explains a lot. As another commenter said she needs to have some therapy about her abandonment issues.
Although, once abandonment issues are that deep, therapy can’t always change it. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Hmmm, abandonment issues. I think I have lived my whole life with them and never realized it before. See what you can learn here?! Heading off to google that-
I agree about Lala. I think she cares deeply for James and she did the right thing. I hope they can one day get their friendship back on track.
I shuddered when Stassi’s mother told Kristen she’d be happy if Stassi grew up to be half the woman she (Kristen) was. The more I watch this shit, the more I appreciate that I stopped drinking. If Beau can keep handling Stassi’s mom the way he did, he deserves his own tiara. He seems so grounded.
My God!! I would Die if my mother ever acted like this!! Which she wouldn’t. Our house was one that everyone wanted to sleep over, we had a pool and a trampoline (I had $ in a former life). I loved it because I grew up the middle of 7 children and we lived way up on the mountain so friends had to be imported. All 3 of my kids played various sports, I guess we were just normal parents. I had normal parents. This is just NOT OKAY. Thank God they were almost grown when 2008 hit and wiped me out. Almost. I still own half the 600,000.00 house but the ex lives there and to get anything out of it would necessitate a sale, I’m not willing to take that away from them. Why do I have such a soft spot for James?? He’s a dick. The real dilemma for LVP is the $$$ that the see you next Tuesday event brings in. Tips have tripled?? That’s pretty amazing. I don’t care what Jax says (ever) but money talks. He’ll be back. Like as in next Tuesday. Plus Katie is a pouty bitch. Sorry not sorry. And I totally agree that Brittany plays up the Southern “twang”. We get it. You’re country. But I really like Stassi’s bfriend. Like double his age and send him my way!! (Maybe not Double!!). Nice recap!!
I totally get why the girls (they dont act like women so I wont call them that) dont want to work with James, but from a business standpoint if James is bringing in customers and $$, then the girls need to suck it up and deal. Sur is their place of EMPLOYMENT not a sanctuary for their feelings. Were it me, I’d let James work Tuesdays and not schedule the snowflakes on that night.
Every time they show that Scheena shower scene I think “You should shower because you reek of desperation.”
Stassi’s mom…Oy. She needs to stop drinking and trying to be her daughters friend. I blame the grandmother for spelling the mothers name phonetically. It dumbed down future generations.
If I were working there, I’d be pissed that James/CUNT nights had been axed!!! Those kids are loosing a lot of $$$$ because lil ole Katie was called fat. Gawd…..how old are these peeps again???? Not every employee at SUR is getting a reality show check deposited into their accounts!!! Dayum!!!! Don’t think that LVP isn’t thinking and worrying about all that $$$$ she’s losing either….he’ll be back…..sooner than later. 🙂
Patrick was always an ass. He had a radio show on Sirius and he was the same pompous dude that you saw on the show. He was also extremely emotionally abusive to those he worked with and even some of the callers. Some folks were fooled because they thought it was schtick, but I knew too many people that had behind the scenes dealings with him to know that it wasn’t just an act.
And who in the heck pegged Jax a good guy?
I do get a very good vibe from Beau who doesn’t seem to be into for the fame but he actually like’s Stassi’s crazy ass. And he also has that sense of weirdo that fits into her wacky world.
I use to really enjoy watching vanderpump rules but now it’s reached a whole other level where we are starting to see the background of why these individuals are as damaged as they are. Case in point, Stassi’s mother. The Apple literally fell straight down off the tree and struck for and implanted because Stassis’ mom is like watching Stassi herself.
Stassi needs to get herself in therapy to breakaway from this ridiculous behavior her mother has taught her. It’s sad and sick that she has shown and encouraged this behavior in her daughter. This behavior is exactly why Stassi has struggled and especially struggled in her personal and romantic relationships.
Seeing Stassis’ mom has now explained a whole lot about why Stassi herself has struggled so much.
I don’t know why lala even bothered to meet up with James, when you make a crass disrespectful joke about fucking me in the past in front my fiance I would have never gave him a second thought, by bitch.
Kristen, she just seems unnecessary for this show now other than a hanger on, I realize now she is only on to try to stir up drama which seems unnecessary since they bring enough on their own. Just my thoughts on this episode
During the segment with James, ice cream and the “life coach” there was much talk about how his problems are alcohol fueled and he needs to abstain. Cut to James’ talking head immediately after and what do I see? I glass of wine right next to him!
The way Momma Nutso nuzzled her daughters ear was creepy!
Didn’t James say loose some weight and not that she was fat ? Considering some of the crap they’ve said about him, I think he was rather sedate. And how that conversation is worse than what Tom or Jax has done, I don’t get. Miss Lisa needs to put her foot down, girls don’t like it quit. I’m sure there are kids waiting in line to be on the show. See how they manage loosing 2 pays. Ariana has been getting snarky now she’s part of the gang, not attractive. Beau is cute as hell. Mom grabbing his ass, ugh how inappropriate.
Its hard to root for any of them. They have become mostly unlikeable.
Katie has no storyline other to be a complainer.
Brittany grates on my nerves; poor thing thinks Jax is a prize.
If
it weren’t for Weddings by Bravo, I dont see them making it down the aisle.
I have a soft spot for James. Used to be a Lala fan, but she makes it hard. I cringe with
the calling of her boyfriend, daddy.
The moments Stassi’s mom was quiet and just sitting there (like maybe 2 secs) she actually looked really pretty!
I like that LaLa met w/James, but when she showed up in her mans car and referred to it as “daddy’s” that almost made me cringe.
Katie has RJF (resting judgy face)