The wakes up hungover with most of them a bit hazy on about the night before. Ashton can’t remember anything. He realizes that Laura was pissed at him, but he can’t remember why. That’s because Laura didn’t tell him. His good friend Adrian called him out for being a man whore while talking to Laura and she just stopped talking to him with no explanation. Tyler doesn’t remember making out with a random chick, but he apologizes anyway and says, “I came home with you though.” Ross notes that Rhylee is in a much better mood after having lots of on camera sex with Tyler the night before. Kate tries to motivate a pouty Laura and fake whines to Josiah about the pitfalls of being a head stew.
Oddly, Kate has decided to get the gossip out of Laura now that she is doing more of her assigned duties. Laura spills the beans about Ashton being a manwhore at the bar. Kate must be thinking that anyone on the boat could have told her that. Then she makes a crude blowjob joke. Ashton continues to ask around about what he did the night before. Ross finally tells him he was being a slut. Eventually, Adrian comes clean about telling Laura about his slutty ways before they went out. There is tension between Ashton and Adrian now, almost as if Ashton feels Adrian is trying to sabotage things with Laura so Adrian can make a move. I don’t see Adrian making any moves.
Charley, a former guest of Below Deck in the Caribbean is back. He probably got a sweet deal since his cruise was never allowed to sail. They had a rough time booking the Tahiti stuff due to the long travel distance so they probably begged this guy to come back for little if any payment. The eight gay guests want multiple theme parties. /eyeroll and are all training for athletic events so no sugar and no meat on the bone. Who doesn’t like a good bone?
While the grown ups are preparing for the guests, Rhylee and Laura sun on the deck and talk about the night before. Rhylee’s vagina hurts because she had sex with Tyler five times that night. I am so old that doesn’t even sound like fun anymore. Apparently, Tyler had an erection that lasted longer than four hours. So maybe the last couple of times were for medicinal purposes.
You would think that Josiah would be thrilled to have eight gay guys on the charter, but nope! We are already setting up a fake storyline involving gay on gay bullying. I see you production and this is another ridiculous one. Eight gay guys on a charter would be interesting enough if without the manufactured drama.
All the guys get flower crowns while Josiah is already in his role with stank face. The guys are all really sweet and come up to the bar to get shots from Josiah who is taking his acting inspiration from Eeyore. As the guys all happily toast to Josiah, he is trying to think of sad thoughts to muster a tear or too. Not yet, Josiah! They crying scene is two scenes away!
As soon as they get out to sea and prepare for lunch the seas get super rough and things are flying everywhere. The good news is it only happened for about a half an hour and then the Captain got them to a lovely, calm cove. The guests keep asking for lunch and the preference sheet asked for a light lunch so that is what Chef Adrian has made them. He made baby lobster and shrimp with zucchini. They loved it but they were still hungry. Now they want pizza or cheese sticks. What happened to that health food thing. They decide on steaks and then go swimming while the steaks are cooking. The crew is really being nasty about these guests. A couple of the guests asked for medium rare, steak looked medium to me, if they asked for medium rare, that is what you need to bring them Save the bitching. Make another steak.
Finally, Josiah’s mood is explained when he storms off saying, “This is why I hate gays.” He needs some therapy for all of that self loathing. I see nothing wrong with these guys at all. They want Josiah to wear a gold spandex number for the gold party. Of course he has a meltdown because he is “too fat.” JOSIAH YOU ARE RUINING THE GAY CRUISE! IT IS MY FAVORITE CRUISE! STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY!
You know whose cruise Josiah is not ruining? Rhylee and Tyler’s. Rhylee is whistling while she works her ass off. Tyler seems to be eating a lot in the crew mess. Ross confronts Tyler about his feeling for Rhylee and he says he is into her. This is good news for Ross if they can hold it together for one more cruise he will have survived her. Tyler doesn’t seem to know that all the girls know about his erection situation.
Two of the dinner guests are super passed out in bed. One of them is passed out in the bathroom.There was way too much tequila. It was not until 10pm that all the guys except one made it to the gold party.
Ashton goes to talk to Laura and apologizes for his slutty ways. He wants to pick up where they left off. He’s hot so she is down with it.
The guys all loved dinner and now it is time for dessert. Cheese-free cheesecake? Dairy-free cheesecake? Sugarfree cheesecake? THAT IS NOT CHEESE CAKE! And of course the guys hate it. What about slices strawberries with that fake whipped cream product? Or sliced apples with cheese? A biscuit with raw honey? This is just stupid. Josiah decides to bring out a round of dessert shots with gold flakes in the tiny gold speedo and tight gold tee-shirt to be served at the Jacuzzi. Josiah has quite the package. This is easily solved the problem.
Laura actually did her job this charter. Laura is now suddenly offended by Adrian’s creepy, sexual jokes. Oh please. He’s harmless and you’re stuck on the boat with him. Stop hanging out around him and starting conversations. Meanwhile, Laura and Ashton are making out in the galley while on the clock.
The guys all take the jetskis out and two of them fall off while riding double. They didn’t secure the kill cord and the jetski is still running. As Captain Lee says that is a 900 pound machine with no driver and no brakes. Now they have to get everyone to come out of the water. But no one is paying attention to the boat.
To be continued…