The wakes up hungover with most of them a bit hazy on about the night before. Ashton can’t remember anything. He realizes that Laura was pissed at him, but he can’t remember why. That’s because Laura didn’t tell him. His good friend Adrian called him out for being a man whore while talking to Laura and she just stopped talking to him with no explanation. Tyler doesn’t remember making out with a random chick, but he apologizes anyway and says, “I came home with you though.” Ross notes that Rhylee is in a much better mood after having lots of on camera sex with Tyler the night before. Kate tries to motivate a pouty Laura and fake whines to Josiah about the pitfalls of being a head stew.
Oddly, Kate has decided to get the gossip out of Laura now that she is doing more of her assigned duties. Laura spills the beans about Ashton being a manwhore at the bar. Kate must be thinking that anyone on the boat could have told her that. Then she makes a crude blowjob joke. Ashton continues to ask around about what he did the night before. Ross finally tells him he was being a slut. Eventually, Adrian comes clean about telling Laura about his slutty ways before they went out. There is tension between Ashton and Adrian now, almost as if Ashton feels Adrian is trying to sabotage things with Laura so Adrian can make a move. I don’t see Adrian making any moves.
Charley, a former guest of Below Deck in the Caribbean is back. He probably got a sweet deal since his cruise was never allowed to sail. They had a rough time booking the Tahiti stuff due to the long travel distance so they probably begged this guy to come back for little if any payment. The eight gay guests want multiple theme parties. /eyeroll and are all training for athletic events so no sugar and no meat on the bone. Who doesn’t like a good bone?
While the grown ups are preparing for the guests, Rhylee and Laura sun on the deck and talk about the night before. Rhylee’s vagina hurts because she had sex with Tyler five times that night. I am so old that doesn’t even sound like fun anymore. Apparently, Tyler had an erection that lasted longer than four hours. So maybe the last couple of times were for medicinal purposes.
You would think that Josiah would be thrilled to have eight gay guys on the charter, but nope! We are already setting up a fake storyline involving gay on gay bullying. I see you production and this is another ridiculous one. Eight gay guys on a charter would be interesting enough if without the manufactured drama.
All the guys get flower crowns while Josiah is already in his role with stank face. The guys are all really sweet and come up to the bar to get shots from Josiah who is taking his acting inspiration from Eeyore. As the guys all happily toast to Josiah, he is trying to think of sad thoughts to muster a tear or too. Not yet, Josiah! They crying scene is two scenes away!
As soon as they get out to sea and prepare for lunch the seas get super rough and things are flying everywhere. The good news is it only happened for about a half an hour and then the Captain got them to a lovely, calm cove. The guests keep asking for lunch and the preference sheet asked for a light lunch so that is what Chef Adrian has made them. He made baby lobster and shrimp with zucchini. They loved it but they were still hungry. Now they want pizza or cheese sticks. What happened to that health food thing. They decide on steaks and then go swimming while the steaks are cooking. The crew is really being nasty about these guests. A couple of the guests asked for medium rare, steak looked medium to me, if they asked for medium rare, that is what you need to bring them Save the bitching. Make another steak.
Finally, Josiah’s mood is explained when he storms off saying, “This is why I hate gays.” He needs some therapy for all of that self loathing. I see nothing wrong with these guys at all. They want Josiah to wear a gold spandex number for the gold party. Of course he has a meltdown because he is “too fat.” JOSIAH YOU ARE RUINING THE GAY CRUISE! IT IS MY FAVORITE CRUISE! STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY!
You know whose cruise Josiah is not ruining? Rhylee and Tyler’s. Rhylee is whistling while she works her ass off. Tyler seems to be eating a lot in the crew mess. Ross confronts Tyler about his feeling for Rhylee and he says he is into her. This is good news for Ross if they can hold it together for one more cruise he will have survived her. Tyler doesn’t seem to know that all the girls know about his erection situation.
Two of the dinner guests are super passed out in bed. One of them is passed out in the bathroom.There was way too much tequila. It was not until 10pm that all the guys except one made it to the gold party.
Ashton goes to talk to Laura and apologizes for his slutty ways. He wants to pick up where they left off. He’s hot so she is down with it.
The guys all loved dinner and now it is time for dessert. Cheese-free cheesecake? Dairy-free cheesecake? Sugarfree cheesecake? THAT IS NOT CHEESE CAKE! And of course the guys hate it. What about slices strawberries with that fake whipped cream product? Or sliced apples with cheese? A biscuit with raw honey? This is just stupid. Josiah decides to bring out a round of dessert shots with gold flakes in the tiny gold speedo and tight gold tee-shirt to be served at the Jacuzzi. Josiah has quite the package. This is easily solved the problem.
Laura actually did her job this charter. Laura is now suddenly offended by Adrian’s creepy, sexual jokes. Oh please. He’s harmless and you’re stuck on the boat with him. Stop hanging out around him and starting conversations. Meanwhile, Laura and Ashton are making out in the galley while on the clock.
The guys all take the jetskis out and two of them fall off while riding double. They didn’t secure the kill cord and the jetski is still running. As Captain Lee says that is a 900 pound machine with no driver and no brakes. Now they have to get everyone to come out of the water. But no one is paying attention to the boat.
To be continued…
I’m fit to be tied that I can’t watch this tonight.
*shaking my tiny fist of doom at the Universe*
I forgot… how did you piss off the universe?
I’m paying off my beagle’s cosmic debts.
How did Laura suddenly learn and be efficient at her job ?
How did Laura do her job..? How Fido my beloved llamanodrama namaste chef morph into the poster child for #metoo…?
Also I am very grateful for the boom boom room shots of that fireman. He schmaccked her ass… put out 5 times..didn’t cover up..so I saw a fireman’s ass. Those guys work out at least once a day every day. Rhylee is beyond ticky boom boom. Josiah…. I’m just seriously smitten with. As one introvert to another hhhuuuunttty you are not a introvert if you are wearing a gold thong on a gay cruise on reality tv show on Bravo. But we can introvert together any day. I can’t brlueve the season is almost over…boo!!!
Funniest comment from show: When Captain passes Josiah in the galley and says, “Hello Goldfinger.”
Funniest TT statement: comparing Josiah’s acting skills to the likes of Eeyore.
Really good stuff…love this show and love this blog!
Those two comments made my day. My very pathetic day. I rewound that Goldfinger over and over. Josiah’s new name could be Gold Member.
I didn’t get that Josiah was acting, but that’s why you get paid the big bucks, TT. I was insecure enough in high school that it was believable to me.
I did notice that we got lots of instructions on how to ride a jet ski right before the jet ski accident. Editing? Or added footage shot later?
Ashton is a drunken fool, but I just love that guy. Hard worker, great humor, and eye candy all in one great package.
How is it that Chef Greasy Weasel is in a open relationship but Ashtons the whore??
Touché
Best characterization “Chef Greasy Weasel.”
Funny and true!
Adrian gets worse with each episode.
So, I think Rhylee will end up back on the show in future seasons since she has sex with Tyler 5 times and says she doesn’t want anyone to know…ON CAMERA.
I would HATE to be responsible for drunk assholes on jet skis.
These guests would’ve driven me insane. What is the point of the preference sheet if you literally want the opposite of what you wrote on it (ie pizza and fried cheese, NOT healthy, light meals). The chef always gets in trouble if he ignores the preference sheet.
Also, I felt bad for Josiah in this ep. Maybe it was acting, but it made him seem more vulnerable. There is a lot of pressure to be thin and perfect in the gay community and I can see how you would feel bad about yourself if you didn’t feel like you measured up to the guests on board. (For the record, I think Josiah is adorable and by no means fat, but we all know that body dysmorphia is real.
I feel like the guests were being unreasonable bitchy especially when they were in the rough waters. It’s not the river cruise at Disneyland for shits sake. I love Josiah, he is a doll and his package…. damn. I love how laura thinks Kate checked herself, oh honey you have no idea. I love Adrian’s food but he is getting a little socially awkward creepy at Laura and I really can’t figure out why. And yes Tyler, keep bangin Rylee, she is much more pleasant when she’s getting some.
Haaa! Rhyleee just needed to get laid 5 times a night to be civil!
She didn’t snap at ANYONE in last night’s ep!
Right. Cracked me up. My husband said the “petercyllin” cured what ailed her. ?
That was a crass comment by Kate-I was surprised. But it makes sense to get along with Laura now that she’s DOING HER JOB. Ah to be in my twenties and working on a yacht in Paradise !! I totally get the body dismorphia thing when I’m my teens I thought my stomach was fat because it wasn’t very defined. I thought about it ALL THE TIME. So I get Josiah’s reluctance. But those were his peeps!! He should’ve relaxed and enjoyed not that the guests weren’t being assholes, they were. Chef Adrian is quite the asshole. Who saw that coming?? Zen my ass. About as zen as “Tre”!! I thought jet skis automatically turned off when you release the gas handle thingy? Poor Captain Lee!! Went to my library and of course they didn’t have his book ☹️. Why I thought they would in this podunk town is beyond me. I’ll wait until it comes out in paperback and get it then. Thanks T!!
If you can deal with digital books (I like print) it is free with Audible trial. Cancel in three weeks.
Great Recap, TT.
I didn’t think Josiah was acting when he was around the gay guests. He seemed very uncomfortable and not his usual confident self. I was surprised when he actually put on the speedo. He surely did ring his Golden Daddy Dong! LOL It’s funny, but it’s not, both at the same time. Yet, when Ashton wore the cupid outfit it could have been interpreted as inappropriate, as well. They all say they’d do anything for a bigger tip, so, Josiah came through for the crew.
I thought the guests were rude, demanding, and inconsiderate. They were in the same bad weather as the crew, surely they new things were not stable enough to be cooking. So, they had to wait a bit. Big Deal. All of that drinking? Out of control. Then ignoring the clear directions Ross gave them regarding the Jet Ski’s? Not cool at all.
Josiah’s discomfort felt very authentic to me. And I think he did a great job articulating the cultural pressures, so I won’t try to restate it. But Bravo seems to excel at YMMV situations!
When Josiah stopped all those wine bottles from sliding off the counter I thought HERO!!
Those guests…. way over acting for the camera. They came across as common fools.
Love Josiah and Kate, as always.
Laura seems to have checked herself.
Ashton needs a lecture on sexual harassment. And soon!
Ashton and Ross both work so hard. They are both great.
Rhylee acts human after sex. Who would’ve thought that’s all she needed.
I confess to admiring Rhylee’s unapologetic love of procreation. She is beholden to the boink and not afraid to say so. That same quality that translates as strident in other situations is refreshing in her canoodling endeavors. I envy her confidence, and her fantastic set of chompers.
I get Josiah’s uncomfortableness with his “peers”. They would probably be the most judges of his physique, especially since they all prided themselves in having these great bodies. Sometimes ones peers are the most brutal when it comes to judginess.
Love Josiah. I would be covering my package too! Poor guy, just doesn’t want his peen to be the feature in this BRAVO show! Pretty sure Rhylee was raised with “wolves”! She has no manners!
Huh, I have no clue how I’ve gotten so far behind!?
Rylee was cracking me up, someone said it, she must have been raised by wolves, giggle.
Oh Josiah! I completely understand his discomfort, it’s uncomfortable to watch any of them being used as pieces of meat. Always cringeworthy, who makes such base requests? Proud of him for stepping up for his crew though, hope the get a huge tip, they aren’t the easiest guests.