It’s late and I am tired but I just can’t wait until Friday to watch this show, so I going to do a piss poor recap now so I can watch and then try to clean it up in the morning. I just love this show.
Also, if you have Showtime you must watch Escape at Dannemora on Showtime. It is a 7 part series about true story of a jail break in New York a few years back. That’s all you need to know except that episode 6 is VERY VIOLENT for the first thirty minutes and is just a flashback to the brutal crimes the inmates committed. You can fast forward through all of that and not miss anything important. Let’s just say they did bad things. Speaking of bad things, some cunt satchel spoiled me with only one episode left to watch in the Wendy Williams comments. I deleted the post but was FUCKING FURIOUS. I was familiar with the case but had forgotten most of the details. So please don’t discuss the details of that series here in case anyone wants to go watch. It is really good. There is a good amount of sex scenes especially in the first few episodes, so if that offends you, you may want to skip it.
Sorry, back to 60 Days In. Tonight, Steve goes in for his sixty days. I am pretty sure he is the prick that blows everyone’s cover. He’s just so cocky going in, only to roll over on everyone… at least that is what the previews have led me to believe.
They don’t assign beds in the men’s section and Steve is not receiving a warm welcome with any door he opens. He finally is allowed to get at top bunk in a pod above a much older gentleman. As soon as he sacks out one of the inmates in his pod mugs for the cameras and say “This is some 60 Days In type shit and someone in here could be a plant from the streets.” Jesus, welcome to Day One.
Jazmyn is also going in this episode. While the men’s pod seems extremely racially segregated, the women’s pod has more of a family “respect your elders” kind of vibe. That said there is also a lot of gang activity that divides the women further. Jazmyn has an older white woman as a bunkie. The cells hold only two women, it’s not pods like we have seen in the past. She has the top bunk but there is no ladder to get there, she has to use the chair and desk to get up there. That seems dangerous. I hope she adds that to her mental list of complaints. It’s ridiculous.
Jazmyn bunkie, Kim explains to her that there are no cameras in the showers so that is where they go to fight. Jaz seems to like Kim and calls her an OG. Jaz is a bit too quick to ask about gangs.
Abner has already been made as a Latin King but he is trying to talk his way out of it. Abner’s pod for lack of a better term is very clean and doesn’t seem to be full. Remember the sections chosen for filming have to have each inmate sign at TV release and a lot of people are unwilling to do that. So right from the get go, some of these groups are not cohesive and hierarchies are being formed.
In the men’s section, even signing up for haircuts is done by race. This is just crazy to me. Ah it is just about using clippers. White men get them first. Again. Mind Blown. The inmates cut each other’s hair. It still is all by race. I am a bit confused about what is happening here. I believe a black guy named Savage asked Abner to cut his hair and he agreed and now Abner is asking some dude to go upstairs and fight him. He’s a black guy named B-Shaw with no skin in the game at all he seemed to think Abner was line jumping because the blacks were going next and he was pissed that Abner was line jumping. So Abner is about to beat B-Shaw’s ass. B-Shaw punked out and ran out of the cell and Abner talked mad shit about him and how he was going to be the first person he stabs UP IN HEAH UP IN HEAH! More or less.
Another inmate calls B-Shaw out for getting punked. And someone punches B-Shaw out? From team black? This is so confusing because I am not great at discerning races. It’s part of my facial recognition issues it’s hard for me to determine race. I don’t know why and no one believes me, but it’s true. There is a girl who looks white to me on Lindsay Lohan’s show who identifies as black. I THINK Abner is supposed to be the Hispanic guy so it is weird that the black folks are fighting each other. I’m just really confused about the race stuff. Maybe because I was raised in Libya and the only kid that was identifiable to me by race was the Japanese kid who had sushi for lunch everyday before sushi was a thing. To us it was rice and seaweed. And we kind of had a friendship moment until he told me he ate seaweed. Which is weird when you are from Georgia and living in Libya. I’m all kinds of culturally mixed up. Especially since on my return to the US I was called the “sand nigger.” Sorry. Over sharing.
After D-Shaw got his ass kicked he was removed from the pod.
David is a young, hot, black cop and this is going to be more dangerous for him than just about anyone else. Please don’t let them mess up that face. David became a cop because he was tired of getting fucked with by the police. Um, that almost makes sense. His dad is in prison for being a big time drug dealer and he was raised by his grandmother who is adorable. She is not happy he is volunteering to go to jail for 60 days. Bless her heart.
Not to get into politics but Vice News, one of the least biased reporters in my opinion, has spent a lot of time in a Texas city where apparently everyone loves the open borders and there are no issues. Even Vice News says that the Mexican city just over the border has the same level of security threat as Iran and other places. Yet the story was how much the two cities on the border just love each other and there is no problem there. In this county the inmates are all talking about the massive influx of drugs crossing the Mexican border into Arizona. We do in fact need a fucking wall anywhere we can put one and I think we also need one with Canada. This is not rocket science. All countries secure their borders. All first world countries have healthcare for all. Why are we so bassackwards on this? Sorry for “getting political” but these are not issues of politics at all in most first world countries. It’s just common sense. These inmates say they make $5K a day on drugs from MEXICO.
So David is a little pretty but he is not smart when it comes to dealing with pod boss, Rocker. Dude. Grab your balls and let’s do this. And don’t drop the soap with your pretty ass. Rocker gives David a sheet and a blanket. That will cost him in the long run.
This season’s little white girl prima donna is finally arriving. I feel like she will try to tap out during the strip search. She’s 35 and still has this snotty attitude? Brooke is the token Trumpster who thinks prison reform is needed. She thinks prison is too easy they get free healthcare and education. Jail is a cakewalk. This should be fun.
She is just such an obnoxious human being. She thinks she is better than the people in prison. Perhaps she is in some sense, but I hope that she comes to learn that everyone has a different path to walk and hers might have been a whole lot easier than most. That generally hasn’t happened to people like this in previous seasons. She’s all tough talking now, but I’ve seen the previews of her trying not to piss her pants.
Brooke self surrenders. She does not wear her little black dress.