As I hit the play button to recap this show, I realize that I started it last night and just abandoned the show for another time. This means there probably isn’t that much to say. Which would be strange, because both of these women are nuts.
Andy shows a photo of Angelina from the Jersey Shore sitting next to Danielle who is next to Lindsay’s mom. Danielle claims to have been friends with Lindsay’s mom for the past 15 years. This is news to Lindsay. Then Danielle says that Dina invited her to Dubai to stay at Lindsay’s house so she will be seeing her soon. This is bizarre already. Andy asks if she has enough bedrooms for that. Lindsay is visibly uncomfortable and says she does but… Andy is loving making Lindsay squirm at the thought of Danielle Staub showing up at her home. Lindsay sort of leans away from Danielle the entire episode.
Lindsay did a dance that was on social media and it has been mentioned in every single interview that she has done. So of course Andy tried to learn it and performed it for her. Twice. Because, Andy.
Danielle claims she is horrified by her behavior on the show regarding all of her bridezilla behavior. When Andy asked about what is going on with Marty she attempts to say that they are keeping things private. This could not be farther from the truth. It seems like every day there is some new he said, she said stuff and the things that she says about Marty are completely insane things that no judge is going to believe. Andy says that he read online that she sold her wedding ring. She says she sold it to pay the attorneys and she got a good price for it. Jennifer Aydin handled the sale for her.
Then we are treated to another ridiculous Clubhouse Playhouse scene where Andy plays Lindsay’s long lost British twin from The Parent Trap. How does this show stay on the air? Andy sits down and talks about how funny the scene was. It was not. Lindsay points out all the problems with the scene.
Lindsay says she would love to have kids someday.
Danielle says that Danny the Thug from season two was not her friend. She is literally refusing to answer every question. Andy must be pissed.
Tiffany Trump met her new boyfriend and Lindsay’s beach club. Andy thought Lindsay might have set them up but she was not even in Mykonos at the time.
Andy did the shotski with the bartenders since Lindsay doesn’t drink and apparently Danielle wasn’t down for it either.
Lindsay did not confirm or deny that her mother is going to be on Celebrity Big Brother.
Danielle says she has been very good friends for over 20 years. She says that everyone seems to be pushing them together. She was very noncommittal on their status. Lindsay repeatedly asked who Al B. Sure is. Danielle tries to sing Night and Day to Lindsay. It was cringeworthy. Lindsay sort of bickers with Danielle over the situation with Marge. Lindsay is very into RHONJ.
Lindsay Lohan plays Plead the Fifth. The first question is a video question from Lisa Vanderpump who asks her about her hookup with Jax Taylor. Lindsay laughs out loud. Jax is a liar,she’s never even met him. The next question was about some sort of tiff between Kim Kardashian and Lindsay. Lindsay said she was confused about Kim K’s braids and Kim responded that she was confused about Lindsay’s bizarre accent. Lindsay says they are friends. So then Andy asks her about her weird accent. Oh wait. That is what a good host would do. Andy just moves on to the next question. What was the biggest mistake in her career. She says drinking and driving.
Ah, after the game Andy does in fact ask her about the accent. She doesn’t really explain it and says she just adapts to the culture she is in.
Danielle says she has no contact with Caroline or Jacqueline. I can’t imagine why either of them would want to associate with her.
In a late night interview with one of the Jimmy’s Lindsay said that she texts Oprah pretty much daily. On this show she said the last time she talked to her was about a month ago. Lindsay invited her to Mykonos next summer. Oprah said yes, and they should talk about it in a month.
For his jackhole Andy randomly slammed Jillian Michaels, AGAIN, for saying that the keto diet that is all the rage is a bad idea. There was absolutely no reason for this attack. He’s just such a shit person.
I failed to mention how much Danielle resembled some sort of wax museum figure of the puppet Madame. I’ll try to get some photos up for you.