Last night I happened to flip on to one of the Jimmy’s late night talk show. Lindsay was on and Jimmy kept calling it Beach Club and Lindsay kept saying Beach House. As it turns out, the show is called club and the nightclub is called house. Whose bright idea was that? Also she did not have her weird accent on the talk show.
After seven minutes of the same introductions to the wait staff we have already seen, they finally arrive to meet Panos. Apparently, Panos is balding because you never see him without a hat. However, his hats are glorious. The one he choose to meet the waitstaff was plucked straight from the pages of Curious George. He is The Man In The Yellow Hat. I used to love reading that book to my students and would change the color of the hat on every page and they would get exasperated and yell, “YELLOW!!” I miss annoying students. Now all I have is you fools to annoy. Sigh.
Panos dismisses the staff and sends them to a luxury oceanfront villa with private chefs and servers of their own. He tells them to go home and get some rest in preparation for their meeting with Lindsay the next day. They get trashed. They get half-naked in the pool. It’s full-blown drunkfest. They have so much glass in the pool I’m having anxiety for them. Who does that?
And then Panos and Lindsay show up to surprise them. Gabi with the blue, soon to be pink, hair is talking to Panos and Lindsay in a wet bra. They are all out of the pool sitting around having essentially their first staff meeting and she could not be bothered to put on a shirt? No one decided to quickly throw a pretty dress over their wet clothes, put on some shoes and maybe add some lipstick? Lindsay noted on the way it that it was all the Americans in the pool. Brent and the Pakistani girl were having conversations at the dinner table. They did not offer their bosses a drink because they drank all of the alcohol.
Gabi is the most insecure person in the group. She can’t let anyone else speak. After a very lengthy verbal resume Lindsay cuts her off and then Gabi proceeds to interject herself in everyone else’s elevator pitch. Any group question she answers first and loudly. She very aggressive. I think she may get fired tonight. Lindsay has had it with her and I thought she was going to be fired right then. Instead she leaves with Panos. Now everyone hates Gabi.
We get an odd backstory on Lindsay when she reminds Panos that he was there when she got hit on the beach three years ago. She was then in a very bad relationship and in a bad place. She decided then that she would own the beach one day. Anyone buying what she is selling? Anyone?
It’s the first day on the job and they were told to wear all white. Brent was very impressed with his look that included a white tuxedo jacket. Panos told him to lose it immediately. Brent was my favorite but the more he talks the less I like him. Kind of like Gabi, the white black girl. I know I don’t get it either. Maybe she is transitioning from white to black because she feels black on the inside.
Each host is assigned specific clients. Lindsay wants to test Brent’s bravado by giving him a major client who is very difficult to see if he will sink or swim. May cries on the first day out of the blue. They are supposed to be trying to sell the second cabana but no one seems to know how to do it. Brent’s client has the hots for him. Gaby seems to be doing better now that she is on the job. Brent and his client make out most of the day. I hope he gets a good tip from this girl from Dubai.
Lindsay doesn’t stay for long. It seems she is staying sober and drinking water. As soon as she left, the staff stopped doing their jobs and started partying. Panos is pissed.
Back at the villa, Jonitta and some others are pissed that Brent didn’t work all day he just had a play date with a client. Brent lets her know quick fast and in a hurry that his client spent the most money at the club.
The next day, Panos meets with the staff. He tells Brent he was the MVP of the first day. His client bought the most. It’s all about the money. Jonitta was the weakest link. She’s pissed.
The aftershow was an interview with Lindsay. There was nothing much to say about it. But I could not stop watching it. Lindsay fascinates me.
Does anyone else think Lindsey is starting to resemble Rose McGowan? I’m fascinated by her new face.
She is the most fascinating person! The girl, well now she’s a woman, has more lives than a cat and gets up every time she’s knocked down. Figuratively and literally. I really need to find a way to watch this show because I’m buying whatever Lindsay is selling. Lol
It is a strange show, I am fascinated when Lindsay speaks, it’s a weird slow speak in some sort of accent, it’s like the sound comes out of her before her mouth moves.
The premise of this show is really kinda funny, the “Ambassadors” are completely motivated by airtime. Btw, “Ambassador” is an amazing job title, #newlifegoal.
I’m glad you recapped this, I couldn’t look away, again!
This show is just so bad, it’s bad.
So forced. These kids came right out of central casting. I was hoping at least some of this would be believable.
Thank God Lindsay has ditched that weird ass accent.
They might as well rename this mess Hookup Island.
I would have rather seen MTV follow around Kathy Guetta in Ibiza.
There is not enough Lindsay. I want to see stealing babies from their parents while talking in a made up language Lindsay.
Lol
YES!!! It needs to be centered around LL! That is exactly what is missing!
I never really warch these type of shows but I decided to give it a chance. Lindsay is strangely compelling. You can’t look away. Sort of like at a car race waiting for the pile up. I’ll give it another shot next week.
Sounds like a cross between that Apres Ski show and any MTV singles, him up show. Pass. But I agree an Lindsey oddly compelling. I watched her show back when Oprah gave her a chance (and she blew it). I think you root for the good Lindsey but the crazy Lindsey always shows up in the end.
LIndsay kept reminding me of LVP. The way she was calling them “kids” that are “representing her brand” reeked of the way LVP talked about her SURvers in the first season of Vanderpump. I didn’t think I would be into it, but now that I’m thinking Lindsay will be my generation’s LVP, I can’t wait to watch the chaos. Please keep recapping!
Lindsay is a hot mess. Why she continues to do reality shows is beyond me. Who the hell is paying for all these things, because you know damn well she has no money left. Something tells me Lindsay is doing many other things in Dubai and Mykonos that is not “club” related. Really is a shame, because she was a good actress when she was very young. Sad part is she has no one around her to give her good advice and keep her on the straight and narrow. Oprah tried, that didn’t turn out well. And her parents are lost causes.
I’m probably constitutionally unable to stop myself from becoming transfixed whenever the Lohan Beacon is lit. But I do hope that we will be offered something more than Lindsay’s successive expressions of Puritan-Certified Moral Indignation. That look she shot Panos when the Kids (TM) confessed to consuming the alcohol they found in the kitchen of their new love shack was way more in keeping with “Mrs. Barry when Diana gets drunk on Marilla’s currant wine after Anne with an E mistakes it for raspberry cordial and serves it at tea”. I mean, come on, Lindz. So Gaby was swimming in her bra during the Unscheduled Drop In. Just send Matthew to get the girl some frakkin’ puffed sleeves and move on with it! It’s not like Gilbert Blythe just called you Carrots.
“Mrs. Barry when Diana gets drunk on Marilla’s currant wine after Anne with an E mistakes it for raspberry cordial and serves it at tea”. My favorite childhood book. I own it and all the sequels. I want to go to PEI to see it all.
YES! Lindsay and Panos are everything in this. Can they just cut out the other part of show with all the staff and have these two talk, shop, nightclub and trainwreck. The stories are absurdnad I need more. Like “you were there for me when I was slapped on the beach and now I own it”… like you said, wtf? Absurd! And give me more.
And the Lindsay dance and hair flip with kicks.., I mean YES! Please tell me you caught this part Tamara.