It’s been a long two weeks without Vanderpump Rules. Holiday family time? Peaceful tidings for a new year? Yes, I enjoyed them. But that didn’t stop me from wondering why Lisa Vanderpump hiked her Vander-cookies all the way to James Kennedy’s apartment. She’s a millennial Victor/Victoria. An enabler playing a woke boss bitch playing an enabler. Torn between pseudo-feminism and a lost boy, Lisa treads the boards like a professional. Anguish. Compassion. Reflection. No one dare steal her shine. Not here.
The entire cast reunites for the first time since Pride, all in the name of torture. LVP’s brilliant marketing plan pits Yulin vs Insta. Viral selfies will save the day. More importantly, it provides a backdrop for the continued alienation of James. After losing Scheana last week, Sandoval and Ariana are James’ only friends. But it’s time for Ariana to pick a side. Prove allegiance. Disinvite James from her birthday party. It’s clear she’s uncomfortable. She knows the you-can’t-sit-with-us mentality is pathetic. But James’ mouth is problematic, especially for the only actual feminist in the group. Unwilling to give up the perks of her current friendships (or risk any talk of her brother), Ariana negotiates amnesty for Raquel. Let the poor girl come to the party. She deserves a night off.
I didn’t think it was possible but Adam is less interested in Scheana than Rob, Rob, Rob was. Interesting.
Lisa seems genuinely worried about James. She trots out his famewhore mother to see if they can work together on his behalf. What follows is the saddest 3 minutes in Vanderpump Rules herstory. Jacqueline is 9 months sober, a huge achievement that should be celebrated. But she’s new to sobriety, still relying on old crutches to cover, divert, and dodge all responsibility. Before Lisa can finish her opening sentence, Mommy Dearest shouts conspiracy. What is James supposed to de when women attack him? Provoke him? It’s not his fault. He’s done no wrong. Lisa is gobsmacked. Her potential ally is a huge part of the problem. Lisa suggests therapy, anger management, and a strict mommy. Jacqueline is relieved. Yes, that’s exactly what James needs. Strict mommy Lisa. Jacqueline only jumps to James’ aid when she learns he’s been fired. She begs and pleads, sheds imaginary tears. James supports his entire family. Mean mommy isn’t giving up the VPR gig just yet.
Lala shows her ass telling Brittany that Sandoval and Ariana think we’re being Jaxed. Brittany gets upset. Jax gets upset. I’m bored and ready for them to reveal his next cheating scandal already.
James gets the shock of his life when he opens his door to Lisa Vanderpump. The queen has ascended. This. Is. Big. After meeting with Jacqueline, and getting a better sense of James’ sad childhood, she’s compelled to take his temperature. As the oldest boy, he’s been responsible for his family for much longer than is moral. He works his 15 minutes hard, providing not just for himself, but for four dependants too. Every success is shared. He even installed his father in his former WeHo party pad (behind the curtain in some weird man’s living room). Lisa praises sober James. She encourages him to carry on. He’s grateful for the support. And the chance at some positive airtime. Mommy will be pleased.
Stassi and Ariana throw a joint winter wonderland birthday party. They dress samesies. Samesies makeup. Samesies hair. The stars of the show have joined forces and the Scheana stands alone. Jax confronts Sandoval about not supporting him. They circle each other like idiots, barking and snarling. Sandoval wants to believe Jax. Isn’t that enough? Considering? When Raquel arrives, spark truly fly. Kristen tries to befriend her. The more time Raquel spends with them, the more time James is alone at home, wondering. Katie and Stassi go on a frontal attack. They volley her “but, alcoholism” with a “you’re stupid.” Haunted by the image of a portly teddy bear, Raquel reaches for the last defense in her bag of tricks. “He’s not always a piece of shit.” Touché.
Shortly before 2am, Stassi’s wheels fall off. She’s done, done in, well done. She wants her man but Beau parties on. For 14 minutes she furiously texts and calls. Beau parties on. As her phone ricochets off the bathroom floor, a surge of excitement creeps up my spine. It’s finally Stassi’s Fucking Birthday!
Next week: Stassi dick punches Beau’s heart, the girls visit an anger room, Stassi’s mom is a drunken mess, and SUR has a company meeting about James.
I think I actually saw a glimmer of a tear in STASSI’S eye when Ariana told James that he couldn’t come. Frankly, I was impressed that she stayed with Ariana to support her – and frankly, I agreed with the decision to uninvite him, and not so Ariana could still be buddy buddy with the rest of the girls. Ariana has proven her “I can stand alone” chops above anyone else.
I DON’T feel bad at ALL for Scheana for losing Ariana. She has been counting on Ariana’s lone wolf status among the women for far too long. She discards her and picks her up when it is convenient. I keep remembering how Scheana treated Ariana during her wedding, kissing up to Kristen while Kristen treated Ariana like shit.
Lala was being a shady bitch in relating Tom and Ariana’s concerns. It wasn’t that bad. I think it was all discussed out of love. I mean fuckballs – Tom still cares for Jax after Jax fucked his girlfriend.
I saw the same! Her eyes were definitely wet with real tears when she saw James turn red to avoid crying like a baby.
Ok i got lost again.. Jax fucked Katie or ariana I get so confused with this.
Jax fucked Kristen while she was Tom Sandovals gf.
Thanks for the fun recap. I’ll be feeling sympathetic yet pissed towards our little monster James. But I have no conflict as once again Scheana demeans herself for a man. Scheana actually makes men take a vow of celibacy when she puts it all out there.
It’s easy to see why James is the way he is after listening to his mother make excuses for him, blame others for his behavior and basically beg that he not be forced to face consequences or responsibility. And shame on his parents for forcing him into the breadwinner role. Fucking losers. Those boys don’t stand a chance.
James is my favorite little goblin and we saw how honestly he comes by the behavior. It’s honestly heartbreaking. I hope he can get it together. Watching Adam cringe over Sheana throwing himself at him was gag worthy.
WTF did we see last night?! Why is James still on the show, and why is LVP still coddling him? I mean, I can answer my own questions, but I’m still gobsmacked by all the free passes and “get out of jail free cards” he gets after engaging in anything-but-professional behavior in (what’s supposed to be) his place of work.
My guess is his Tuesday night gig packs the house and she doesn’t want to give up the money it brings in. Couldn’t she pay for anger management and proper rehab if she cared so much about Him? might that be a start to resolve her HR issues with him and keep the cash flowing?
You got it. James is a nasty, creepy slimy punk and so he not only brings in $$ on CUNT Tuesdays, he brings in viewers like us!! And Lisa is dowmn to ehr last $30 million in drug money (how do you think they made money in London?) and needs more $$ for her extravagant ways, and to support her faux “businesswoman” daughter.
Do you have some info about that drug money or just surmising like I am with Porsha’s man’s hot dog eateries?
Not to defend Dennis in any way, but those hot dogs are really popular around here.
Isn’t she creating a hostile work environment by keeping him there? Thus setting her and her partners up for a massive lawsuit? Or does the bravo contract cover he shady ass HR calls? In any other company in CA that’s a big fat no no. At first I thought the story line contrived as it was a no brained but she’s riding the story line so now I’m confused.
Lisa and her husband has been sued many times, which also included taking people’s businesses and concepts. She is going to screw over the Toms. Lastly, she and her partners were sued for allowing harassment in the workplace. The plantiff won.
Here is a brief tutorial on the LVP lawsuits.
http://tamaratattles.com/2017/09/13/lisa-vanderpump-and-ken-todd-face-yet-another-lawsuit/
I’ve wondered the same thing. (Also with Hell’s Kitchen.) But TT reminds us that they don’t really work there.
When LVP was telling Diana how she might have to let James go, you could see that Diana was concerned about losing all that C U N Tuesday money. I guess that won out over Katie’s ultimatum. (Of course, when Katie told Lisa the story, she completely rewrote her role in the exchange with James.)
Who is Diana?
I think they mean Nathalie, one of the SUR business partners. Diana was the manager that Kristen told to go suck a dick which got her fired.
James’ mother.
oops! My mistake! James’ mother had the same motive (fear of losing money) so I got them mixed up!
Sorry.
I wonder if their weighing the potential lawsuits and legal fees against the loss of revenue… in reality I think LVP wants to drag this out so she appears to be the badass boss with a heart that gives 102nd chances… ugh
Ew … they’re not their. I am a grammar snob.. . Typos are one thing but that was awful, I apologize
James was warned repeatedly about drinking on the job. It’s not Lisa’s redponsibility to take care of him.
I’m glad Lisa took James’ mother aside and reminded her that Jaquiline is his mother and she is responsible in teaching her boy to respect women. Her immediate blame of others who “come for him” demonstrated where he gets his defensive behavior. Throw in a splash of booze and viola, we get mean drunk James.
On a much lighter note I’m glad to see somethings never change. Stassi is still the worse guest to her own birthday party. And how much did that party cost?! More than a year’s worth of mortgage payments? Or a small economy size hatch back? These kids are really making money.
I suspect the producers force them to stay in their small apartments. From what I’ve seen, they are all making $300K+ each season, so they’re into grown up money. The couples who are regulars (Tom + Katie the drunk, Tom +Ariana “I’m the smartest person I know”) are taking in approx. $600K per year.
So are those financials accurate? I hope they are wisely saving and investing their earnings as this is short lived. Wait what am I saying
My only question is will Bravo get a cut from the beer cheese ?
Those figures are slightly inflated. They didn’t get paid much AT ALL for the first few seasons. They were in fact trying to keep them hungry. Because just as suspected, once they demanded and received large pay increases they stopped actually working at SUR unless the show was filming. There may have been something in their contracts that requires them to maintain modest living arrangement while on the show.
I don’t think the beer cheese thing will really happen. If it does, Bravo probably won’t get a cut. The Bethenny Clause is only included in Housewives contracts.
Well Stassi and Ariana were congratulating themselves on all the deals and favors they called in to make the party happen, so either it was paid for by Bravo/production and they were just covering with their little chat, or they really did call in favors and deals to make it happen.
Bravo pays for the party.
Well then they deserve applause because it looked pricey and they got it free
“You’re his mother figure.” “No, you’re his mother figure.”
That was awful, and I do believe Lisa’s reaction was authentic.
I felt for James. Yes, I am a sucker, maybe, but his parents seem like colossal failures. Even Kristin notes a few years ago that his family overburdens him. Am happy his mom’s on the sober track. She needs to step up now.
As for Stassi’s birthday meltdown? Meh. Seemed phony to me.
Agreed on Stassi’s meltdown! It looked like she was still in the party house (just in the bathroom or something) so why wouldn’t she just go up to the roof to get Beau if she was so desperate to talk to him? OR text somebody else to go get him and have him come downstairs? Made no sense.
Because it’s her birthday, and she’s always irrational on her birthday
I was really disappointed to see how James’s mother responded to Lisa’s concerns, but not totally surprised. These people shunned one of their own closest friends when he came out of the closet, yet continued to ride his coat tails wherever they could. They’re just despicable people. I’m actually surprised that they haven’t been able to get in closer to the Vanderpump action, I guess they don’t have the same intel as the Kemsleys from way back when.
Jen, was it because he came out? I thought George dropped THEM because they were skimming money off of him – when he was known to be generous to his friends and would have helped them if they had gotten into a bind.
Their income dried up when George died – couldn’t sell many false tabloid stories any more. I think she was in particular the one who usually came up with the stories. BITCH.
I doubt James got any money, FYI.
There’s a lot of old British articles about how they didn’t want anything to do with him once he came out. But now you’re making me wonder if they even sold those stories to make a buck! I also doubt James got any money, although it is timely that he’s suddenly got his own place and is handing out checks to people. I have long suspected that Raquel/her family are paying him to get her on the show.
I’m on hold at work, so just did a quick Google of George Michael’s will. Andros, that fucking asshole who is also James’ father, is STILL TALKING TO THE PRESS like he knows what the fuck is going on.
I bet George’s sisters don’t give him the time of day.
Is it just me or does James’ father always look like he’s on something when on camera?
I’m just glad we didn’t have to hear the word “MeeMaw” on this episode. I luv ya, Brittany, but the prior episode was Kentucky overkill! Now this episode was more of the VPR we know and love.
I do love a Southern accent, but between “meemaw”and “I’m engyyyyyyged,” I’ve had to push the mute button lately.
Does she really say MeeMaw? It’s Mamaw.
She calls her Mamaw. I always do a double take because it’s always been Meemaw to me, but I know different areas can have a different vernacular, so I just sort of chalked it up to that.
Let’s not forget, “FEE-YON-SAY!”
and “GO TO HAAAAAILLLLL!” lololol
Also, it’s Mamaw!
* “RAWWWWWT IN HAIIIILLL”
I don’t think that James is an “employee” of SUR, I think it’s more of an independent contractor type of thing. I can see why Lisa has a soft spot for him especially after that interaction with his mother. What a POS she is. I say let him have his Tuesday gigs and none of those witches need to show up. Katie started that argument with James during pride, not the other way around.
Katie still showing she’s a mean girl at heart getting right in Raquel’s face. Raquel has done a good job holding her own against the Witches of WeHo, I just wish it wasn’t in defense of James’ bad behavior.
Scheana is still pathetic.
Katie is a bitch and she’s overweight in comparison to the others. I guess I am the only one that feels sorry for James and Raquel. I would NEVER get in my friend’s face and trash her boyfriend. Where are these mean girls coming from? VYING for attention and TV time no doubt. Stassi has not changed. It is all about her and God help the man that does not realize this. So disappointed in Ariana that she did not
stand up to Stassi and the others and include James. What friend does that? To be in the clutches of the others she dissed her friend. Raquel should not have gone and been humiliated I’m finished with this
show that all these people can gang up on one person for telling the truth when they all have done
MUCH WORSE Calling someone trash, whore, bitch, etc. in my opinion is 10 x more degrading than implying they are fat. This show needs to be totally recast and bad girls gone. I left out Kristen who is a pathetic piece of shhhhh__.
All of this! If anything Katie should be thankful James let her know she didn’t look to good in those shorts. They’re not nice to James and have never been so why shouldn’t he return the favor?
I have to say that Raquel looked drop dead gorgeous when she entered the party. Wow. That specialty makeup did NOT do those other girls any favors.
James’s mom just wants James to have a job because he supports her. I still remember when Kristen gave an interview after the season where her and James had dated ended and she said James’s mom stole her credit card and went and got her hair done and got massages. She was supposed to pay Kristen back and never did.
Does Scheana’s man just want to be on tv? He looks like her has zero interest in her. Its embarrassing to watch.
That’s not her man. She wants him to be her man but he wants no part of that. He works at SUR, it’s the same guy she tried to get Brittany to cheat on Jax with.
James will be back How much is Sheana paying for that place on the water? A lot! If she’s dropping down in air time she’s going to be hurting trying to pay for it. It was shitty the way she used James to load the truck them started talking shit to him. I’m glad he walked away but I would have taken her shit back in first. Her smile looks like the joker
Why do I think this is all Lisa being the manipulative HW that she is? Wasn’t she and Ken already in hot water for some harassment or other in the past? Every single episode with these people seems to invoke some hostility at work for someone! DRAMA! She is coming for VPR because that is where the ratings are. Creating scenarios where it is necessary for her to intervene (aka get camera time) and be a heroine for some unsuspecting viewer.
She is a smart woman, I will give her that. Probably sensing her theatrics on the HW’s is about to blow so she moves over to her safe haven where everyone is PAID to worship at the Pink alter.
James needs help for sure, but so does the rest of the cast. Why is she not lending a hand and having AA meetings right at work. They all could use it for sure.
This is absolutely Lisa being the manipulative housewife she is. She’s building her presence on VPR so she has a good excuse to leave RHOBH.
Stassi’s mother is the apple tree that Stassi fell from. Is that her we see having a meltdown next week because the event is not all about her? That was crazy.
The fact that Beau uses the phrase, “You dick punched my heart” makes it clear he is the perfect man for her.
Why did Stassi wander off to bed without telling her man she was ready to call it a night?
Because all Stassi bday parties end with her hysterical. It’s a long running joke about how early she goes to bed and she thinks that since it’s her party it should be over when she’s done.
Literally every birthday party of hers ultimately ends up going sideways and I love it. My favorite is still the first one with Jax ripping off that damn chunky sweater in the parking lot and chasing down Frank. TV gold right there.
I loved those pop-up comments on the second run of the show. Was it the Pumped Up version? Something like that. It was just like Pop-Up video that used to be on VH-1. Sounds like production worships Lisa too. Come to think of it, maybe Lisa wrote those comments because they were all very complimentary to her.
Sadly, I get Stassi’s meltdown because I am the same way when I drink. I whine and say stupid things like, Why aren’t you taking my picture? Don’t you think I’m pretty? …. Therefore, I just don’t drink at parties. Not worth it. Stassi, Katie, Schwartz, and James all need to learn their limits. But then there wouldn’t be a show.
Does anyone else see the irony that with all the outrage of Jame’s behavior towards woman, his mother begs Lisa to let him work his Tuesday night gig which is appropriately called CUNT? And, based on the previews, it appears he will be back doing CUNT shortly. Which is worse, a truly pathetic 26 year old man sniveling and crying (but it has worked in the past for James), or a 26 year old man’s mother sniveling and crying and begging for him?
How about the faux indignant Jax when anyone questions his ability to be faithful / loyal? It kills me to watch him pretending to be moral and comparing his relationship to Ariana and Tom’s.
James’s mother is doing him a great disservice. Sad for her & her struggles but she has made so many mistakes in parenting him. A 26 year old should not be responsible for financially supporting his entire family. No fan of James but now I can see why he is so troubled.
oops! My mistake! James’ mother had the same motive (fear of losing money) so I got them mixed up!
Sorry.
Why is Scheana still on this show? If they insist on keeping her on she should be reduced to friend of status.
For a show that’s touts a lot about feminism and power of the pussy, Sheana doesn’t cut it. Since season 1, her storyline has been about her in relation to a man. Between this season and last, she’s Vicki Gunvalson thirsty, shameless throwing herself on Rob & Adam. She’s uncomfortable to watch.
As far as her relationships with the women, she seems like a hanger on.
Bye Scheana. I wish Bravo would swap your main cast role for Billie Lee’s friend status.