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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club: Welcome To The Beach Club

Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club: Welcome To The Beach Club

January 4, 2019 by tamaratattles 30 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s latest hanger-on is a gay Greek guy named Panos. Panos’s accent seems just as false as Lindsay’s. He also says things that don’t mean anything, just like Lindsay.

I really don’t need this much information about the servers. Let’s just get them to Greece and get them drunk and see what happens. I don’t need to know how poor they are or how sexually confused they are. I just need a beach and some hookups and if you could sprinkle in some scenes of Lindsay trying to kidnap people’s children that would be fantastic.

I don’t think this is a real episode. They are basically introducing a billion bartenders and servers. We flash back to their crappy little apartments where they talk about their plans to be professional and not embarrass themselves and then get a “sneak peek” of them embarrassing themselves presumably from future episodes. 

Basically, this is an advertisement for the show and even the commercials in between are ads for the show.

Did I mention that these waitresses and bartenders call themselves “ambassadors of the Lohan brand.” They are apparently only filming for a month. So this is another case of “these people don’t really work there.”

In the last three minutes of the show, we finally get all the kids in Mykonos. Is the show actually starting at the 57 minute mark?

Actually no we are not starting the show. With two and a half minutes left, they run YET ANOTHER preview of the season. There is lots of drinking and fighting to come it seems. At least they are hot people and not grandmothers. So, there is that.

I’ll check out the next episode just to see what a real episode is like.  I may not be recapping this show though.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News Tagged With: Entertainment News, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, MTV

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Harlan says

    January 4, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    Sounds like appointment television! ? What network is it on?

    Reply
    • atdleft says

      January 4, 2019 at 10:32 pm

      MTV, aka the network with a show that allows Bristol Palin to fill the role of “the relatively sane one” (“Teen Mom OG”).

      Reply
  2. JoJoFLL says

    January 4, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    YAY!!!! YESSSS!! Hallelujah I can’t wait for this shit show to start!!

    I have QUESTIONS!! It’s La Dinah Rockett Lohan also starring?

    Is Linds straight or gay? (Not that it matters but I need context!)

    When?? WHEN!!!

    It’s Christmas all over again for me!

    Reply
  3. marc says

    January 4, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    This sounds horrid. I am in ! I think this will be worse than Mariah Carey’s reality show so I am so looking forward to it !

    Reply
  4. Snail says

    January 4, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    I can’t wait to see if you recap next week. Lindsay seems so broken at this point it’s either going to be really good or really bad. Just like her Oprah sponsoredish show from several years ago.

    Reply
    • KendraWatchesTooMuchTV says

      January 5, 2019 at 4:45 pm

      She was pretty clear in the end of the recap that she won’t be recapping this show. Maybe one of her loyal guest bloggers will though.

      Reply
  5. Ms Rufus Ragdoll says

    January 4, 2019 at 9:08 pm

    So Lohan is trying to be the Vanderpump of Greece – meh.

    On another topic, TT are you going to recap Season 11 of Million Dollar Listings LA? I loved last nights epidode.

    Pretty please ?

    Reply
    • KendraWatchesTooMuchTv says

      January 5, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      Yes! The Altmans never surprise me anymore. Flagg seems mellowed out or on something… there will be major brother team drama (or so the previews want us to believe). It’s looks fabulous.

      Reply
  6. Hope Burns says

    January 4, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    I’m hoping this is on an equal train-wreck level as the Anna Nicole show……???

    Reply
    • Teresa S. says

      January 5, 2019 at 2:05 am

      Literally impossible. That show was truly one-of-a-kind.

      Reply
  7. JustJenn says

    January 4, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    I haven’t watched yet, but I’ll follow along with you. When we had our celebrity encounters I forgot to mention a phone call from Lindsay Lohan. Aaron Cartrr gave my cousin and I his phone number when they were dating and guess who found my number in his phone in his phone and called to interrogate. I still know her old AOL screen name.

    Reply
    • Nanette says

      January 5, 2019 at 1:08 am

      Was her AOL screen name FIRECROTCH?

      I am ALMOST embarrassed that I laughed hysterically over that drunken encounter.

      Reply
    • Nanette says

      January 5, 2019 at 1:12 am

      Was her AOL screen name FIRECROTCH?

      I am ALMOST embarrassed that I laughed hysterically over that drunken encounter. I couldn’t blame Paris Hilton for laughing.

      Reply
  8. Peeplesleuth says

    January 4, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    Please, please recap this show! It’s gonna be great either way. The first episode was a disaster and half the crew they hired didn’t know shit about Lindsey and yet they kept showing clips of her being a diva queen. So good.

    Reply
    • Peeplesleuth says

      January 4, 2019 at 10:09 pm

      Her face work has calmed down though…

      Reply
  9. JoJoFLL says

    January 4, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    But Mariah wasn’t so bad it was good like ‘Being Bobby Brown’ or Paula Abdul’s show!

    Poor Mimi, she was so boring.

    Reply
  10. atdleft says

    January 4, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    I must admit that I’ve been tempted to watch this train-wreck when I’ve seen the promo ads on sister network VH1 while watching Drag Race. So does this mean Lindsey finally followed through on a contract this time, or is MTV just airing whatever the producers could wrangle out of her? Whatever the case, I’m sure the show will instantly become one of the hottest of hot-ass messes of 2019.

    Reply
  11. Amanda says

    January 4, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    This is the first time I’m really angry that my cable company doesn’t carry MTV. I’m sure i can stream it; if anyone has any hints on how to do that, please let me know. 🙂

    Reply
  12. Allaboutheidi says

    January 5, 2019 at 2:22 am

    This looks delightful. I can’t wait ?

    Reply
  13. DillyDilly says

    January 5, 2019 at 2:25 am

    :Lol . . . This is ridiculous! We bypassed rehab to “Beach Club”?

    Reply
  14. Navymommy says

    January 5, 2019 at 6:48 am

    I refuse to give this theiving trick one hash mark on the ratings. That being said, I will joyfully read your recaps TT.

    Reply
  15. Navymommy says

    January 5, 2019 at 6:51 am

    Thieving, ack! Autocorrect tried to turn it into thriving and she is anything but. Will they show the bruises left on her by her ME johns?

    Reply
  16. ShortCool1 says

    January 5, 2019 at 9:05 am

    Gonna watch this train wreck at least twice just for grins. Has to be better than the new dumpster fire singing show, “The Mask.” That’s an hour of my life I will never get back.

    Reply
  17. Twilly says

    January 5, 2019 at 10:06 am

    I’m totally in on this trainwreck. I did find myself liking a few of the “employees”. You just know Lindsay is gonna hate all the young, pretty girls. Reminders of what she squandered with drugs and yachting….allegedly.

    Reply
  18. Macaroni Mama says

    January 5, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    I hope the show covers Lindsay chasing the homeless refugees who thought she was kidnapping their small children. Lindsay was babbling in a language only spoken and understood by her.

    Reply
    • Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

      January 5, 2019 at 6:42 pm

      Lol. Guaranteed entertaining, Macaroni Mama.

      Reply
  19. Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

    January 5, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    I have no memory of what (5 min.) that i watched. I’ll try once more, when we get an episode. I noted it as a Tuesday show.
    There’s meet my staff and after the show. Already confused.
    Guess exactly what is expected, lol.

    Reply
  20. Venus says

    January 6, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    For what it’s worth, I know a lot of Greek ESL speakers & Panos’ accent sounds pretty authentic to me.

    I’m very happy for this shit show to start for the scenery as Mykonos is so gorgeous –the batshit crazy of the cast will just be a bonus.

    And I don’t think this was official episode 1 –this was a trick “meet the cast” preview –we were bamboozled!

    Reply
  21. Kelnlola says

    January 7, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    Omg please please recap this. It’s the shitshow we all need but don’t deserve. The recaps from you will be the cherry on top.

    Reply
  22. KatieAlex says

    January 12, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    In! Please recap this is going to be as good a shit show as Vanderpump!

    Reply

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