Atlanta is not the only franchise with a drop in ratings. New Jersey is barely holding on to a million viewers a week with ratings ranging from .92 to 1.18. I think viewers are finally getting bored with #FelonsByBravo. Tonight, before the wedding even happens, it will become very obvious that this marriage is doomed. Danielle has been making all sorts of outlandish claims against her soon to be ex-husband in court. They are all blatant lies. It’s scary how insane Danielle really is.
I don’t even remember the last episode of this show. I am just ready for this sham of a wedding to be over. Marge and her husband and Melissa and Joe both have individual conversations about how Danielle talks about Marty’s kids. Teresa facetimes with Dolores about the kid issue as well.
The bridesmaids are all going to do “Bride Squad” photo shoot on the beach. Four of the bride’s maids are not there for the photo. Marge doesn’t want to take off her lacy coverups. The late four bridesmaids eventually show up. Who needs seven bridesmaids in your forties?
Melissa likes Jackie and Teresa can’t stand her so this will be a problem.
The two Joes take Marty out for drinks. Apparently, Danielle would not let Marty have a bachelor party. Joe Gorga tells him he is pussy-whipped already. And it seems that she is not giving up the pussy at all. The Joes tell him he needs to really be sure about this wedding. They are really trying to talk him out of this. He should have listened. Their delivery sucked though. They were sort of mean to him. But they were right.
Back in Jersey, Jackie and Dolores go out to lunch so that Jackie can get some advice on how to deal with Teresa. Dolores tells Jackie that what she said was very offensive. Jackie then goes on to say that Teresa’s over the top screaming is not the way intelligent people behave. Dolores tries to defend Teresa’s intelligence, but come on, the woman is dumber than a box of rocks. Jackie shares that both of her parents were convicts. Her father went to prison and her mother was on house arrest for tax evasion and fraud. This conversation is not going well. Jackie needs to stay away from Dolores. She’s bad news.
Joe Gorga is literally falling down drunk alone in the hotel room when Melissa and Teresa show up. Marge shows up to her room to find her husband drunk as well. Both Joe’s explain that they told Marty he was making a mistake. Marty threw a drink on Marge’s Joe.
The most interesting thing that happened this episode is that my remote stopped working.
Jennifer’s family owns a jewelry store. This whole scene is sort of cringey.
It’s time for the engagement dinner. No one really wants to go. Margaret points out it is supposed to rain the next day which is the wedding day. It begins to rain on the tram ride over. Danielle basically blames Marge for making it rain on her wedding day. Marge Sr. is there! We know this because she just face planted at the bar.
Danielle is in full on bitch mode and comes for Joe Gorga for the conversation he had with Marty earlier in the day. Joe Gorga wants to pull in the other Joe. He is not taking the brunt of it all by himself. Apparently, Marty has a black Amex and the Joes told him that Danielle was just after him for his money. Now Danielle is blaming Marge for the guys conversations.
Danielle has a glam squad to blow out the bridesmaids hair and do their makeup. Everyone was invited to partake. But then Danielle acts like the glam squad is only for her and her two daughters and seems angry when Melissa and Teresa show up to get ready. She’s just such a bitch. Also there have been several conversations about Danielle not having sex with Marty. Yet in Danielle’s most recent bizarre court filing she says Marty forced her to have sex all the time. Everything she says was so batshit crazy as to not be believable at all. Danielle continues to attack Marge. Marge even blew out her own hair! Eventually, Marge has had enough and wants to go home and skip the wedding. Danielle apologies to Marge and she decides to stick it out. Marge regrets not listening to Dolores about Danielle.
Where did they get all of these people to fill the wedding chairs? It’s time for the wedding and I suddenly realize there is going to be a whole nuther episode of wedding drama.
Danielle’s two daughters walk her down the aisle. Her dress, which apparently she put on Marty’s black card to the tune of $45K is beautiful. I am not sure I believe that though. They did make it to the altar and it looks like we are done with the wedding stuff and headed back to Jersey next week.