I suppose that recapping these two episodes is better than trying to get some dishes done. I was feeling pretty energetic and all ready to be productive and then I felt all chills and feverish. That lasts for a few minutes and then I feel good again. Later, rinse, repeat. And despite getting a good night’s sleep last night, I am already sleepy. So I’m not feeling particularly snarky toward these fools today, but hopefully that will change.
One of the problems with this show is their whole Bucklust thing. It’s kind of the same reason that Bravo doesn’t film at Coachella. There is just too much shit going down and too many people to keep up with. We need seven or nine people on one boat. That was their first mistake.
Today we say goodbye to Korey at the beginning of the episode. We will actually miss him since he was probably the sanest person on the boat.
The surviving crew members are off to Major Bay Cay for a family reunion with their wiser more intellectual family members, the pigs that swim on Pig Beach. The shipwreck story they are telling about how the pigs got to the island is folklore. Apparently, in the 1990s a couple of guys decided to ride the whole Y2K conspiracy out on Big Major Cay and brought the pigs with them for food. Then when Y2K didn’t kill us all, they just left the pigs there.
Danielle thinks that she and Barrett are just like George Clooney and Amal. I’m just going to let y’all marinate on that .
At Evan’s request, the crew apologies one by one to Jack for being the horrible people they truly. This seems to appease Jack. Until it gets to Danielle. She claims she didn’t know about Lenny and thought it was her day. Or something. She’s just awful. Jack cries again because Danielle is so clueless. Then he just falls to the ground sobbing. The guys all go to support him.
Everyone goes back to the boat to eat bacon and sausage. I’m not kidding. I feel like there should be a few hours in between swimming with pigs and eating them.
Danielle wants us to know she has tons of friends and all of her loving family that she is leaving to move to San Francisco with George Clooney.
Jack stayed on the other boat to avoid being around Danielle for the night and did not go with the group to dinner. Rachel made a lovely toast at dinner. Danielle just gave a sour look in Rachel’s general direction. When Chelsea and Vanessa both shared their pig pictures and made pleasant dinner conversation Danielle started to be come unhinged. Again. How dare her friends be cordial to her sworn enemy at the dinner table!
It’s the day for the pirate treasure hunt. Jack has decided to stay behind for a day of solitude. The treasure hung looks really fun. They all have to perform a variety of goofy tasks to get a step closer to the pirate treasure. Task one is get to the bar. It is there that Danielle begins to suck the fun out of the entire thing. She needs the wifi password to “talk to her real friends.” You picked a real winner here, Barrett. About the time I am typing that, little Danielle the funsucker shows up to tell him he should not be chicken fighting and playing all the pirate games since he has a bad back. This whole show would have been so much better without Danielle. Even Chelsea isn’t so bad when Danielle is off pouting somewhere. Chelsa and Rachel have fun and make-up.
At least Barrett found the buried treasure which appeared to be just a bunch of inflatable crap. Still, it’s more valuable than Danielle.
I need one of y’all to come take this bag of pistachios away from me.
On the way to an island to feed some sting rays and see some sharks, the group takes two charters. All of the girls except Danielle in one and Danielle and her negative energy ruining the boat ride with the guys.
Max attempted to taunt a shark into biting him and was successful. His brother is pissed he didn’t get bitten. Chelsi gets to pet a manatee.
We get a lot of sad little couples conversations where the girls seem really desperate to take things further than their partners would like to take things.
With the trip coming to an end, Chesi and Vanessa try to talk Danielle about her sour attitude. They start by letting her know that Evan said something to the effect of she is not longer part of the trio. Vanessa says that Danielle has been very distant toward the girls the past few days. Danielle says she never even talked to Evan. Vanessa and Chelsi just want everyone to be friends. Danielle basically says that Rachel is dead to her. Chelsi says Danielle has ruined the trip.
Back at the dinner table, Evan is pissed that Danielle lied about their conversation so he confronts her. Evan tells Danielle that she was the center of all of the drama and negative energy on the boat. Evan brings up the pain she caused Rachel and Jack. Danielle continues to deny and deflect. She basically says she doesn’t care about all the pain she caused others. Evan says that he doesn’t want to be her friend anymore despite knowing her since high school. Danielle’s response is, “Okay, whatever. See you never.”
She decides to go back to the boat where Barrett has been recuperating from a hangover. On the way she comes across Jack and decides to give another half-assed apology but Jack is not letting her off the hook either. Then she apologizes for “not being a good apology person.” She doesn’t understand that is the entire problem.
Rachel doesn’t seem to pick up any of the vibes that Albie is putting off. Albie is not ready to commit and probably never will be. He does tell her they can be Facebook official though.
OH dear God. There is one more episode. Next week. Please don’t let it be about Danielle. Spoiler alert: It’s about Danielle.
Yeah Danielle is weird, and not the cool kind where u think wow what will she say next! More of oh man I can’t believe she said that.
I liked that Chelsea n Vanessa pulled her aside, and I don’t kno any of these people but I believe what that guy said that Danielle said about the 3 of them.
Oh and Rachel, if their relationship has traveled the way she says it has, then yeah he’s not into her as much as she is.
Yes!! Tamara said the treasure hun(g) looked like fun!! The first positive thing said yet! RAD! And I was the mastermind that produced it bwahahahaaa. So at least there’s that. And the treasure was inflatable crap?! We clearly said 20 Bahamian dollars (so like…. 260$?) and one article of ‘rad’. Like pasties and chips ahoy and a laazer beams and a cigar and yes,, one inflatable item.. water wheels.. if that’s what they called. ?
Water wings.
AKA stupid inflatable shit.
You said that’s all it was. When really it was 1/24 of what was in there. Sooooo, you’re not even close. Btw,, if you don’t find any of that humorous.. good lord.. RIP your sense of humor.
Different strokes for different folks.. I think this show was for younger bravo-watchers that wanted a little more eccentric cast, chaos, and humor. almost like reality tv meets South Park. You obviously hate it and don’t find anything funny, ever. I honestly think that’s kinda sad but fair enuf. I couldn’t sit through 5 minutes of the Kardashians or vanderpump.
Hi Dr Jeff.
Hiiiiiiiii
This show stinks. None of these people are likeable or relatable. NONE
Not one?! Not even korey? Or Evan? And my mom says I’m super likable. Btw did you know that likeable can be spelled two different ways? I actually got that one at a school spelling bee in 1991, lost, protested, and won. Absolutely true story.
You may be the most likeable person on the show, or perhaps it is Rupert, or any of the people on boat 2. Y’all might have all been super funny.
Alas we will never know because we got a bunch of girls ganging up on Rachel, and Danielle sharing her misery with everyone, and the unfortunate death of the charming captain’s best friend, and needy girls throwing themselves at disinterested partners, and Barrett being henpecked by Danielle.
There was nothing redeeming or funny about any of that.
Also you put an IV in someone’s hand! Why can’t they go in the arm where they belong. Hand IVs are painful!
Ha well fair enuf ?. Rupert is quite likable. A number of the cast is- particularly all the guys. I can absolutely see the brunettes are not for everyone. If you meet/catch them in the right setting, they can be quite endearing, but I’ve seen them not on their best behavior. But hell ive been friends with them all a long time and didn’t even know there was so much drama! It’s sometimes hard to keep in perspective as a viewer that there’s cameras in the face at all times, and bravo wants this stuff.. it’s unscripted, and they don’t push per se, but they suggest.. eg. Hey Jeff, wanna go talk feelings with Vanessa right now at 2am? Right NOW?! I don’t think it’s gonna go so well!! But ok! People act differently when they on camera. Going between being themselves and what they think the camera wants. And sleep deprivation and bad weather and close quarters and alcohol takes its toll… i will concede that Danielle’s behavior, particularly on pirate day, was super lame and petty. If you have a beef with someone, you can’t mandate that mutual friends have the same beef. That’s gradeschool stuff. And to totally withdraw from one of the few moments where everyone was having a blast is inappropriate. So.. when we have our next Swashbucklers Regatta next week.. guess who is gonna be dick of the dayyyyyy!! I’ll send your regards haha
Oh yea and it doesn’t make a ton of difference where the IV goes. It’s all ‘painful’ underside of the forearm may be worst. I generally use a very small IV, and the hand often has the most predictable, reliable, and straight veins. AC(at the elbow) IVs are problematic bc you bend your arm and they don’t work. Oh and I like to give max a little pain!
Y’all are letting Danielle come back? #GluttonsForPunishment
Pretty much ALL of the guys (including you) are very likeable! Maybe next season a ‘guys trip’? 😀 lol…I know..I know…not enough drama :/
Thank TT, for the recap!
I have to say, getting blood drawn via my foot,was a one time experience, man it was painful. Guys have some good veins in the hands, the wrist is excruciating. I would refuse to take my gold off, so they would leave my wrists alone. It worked for ten years, now I visit the PICC unit ( sorry TT, I don’t exact name, but they use ultra sound to find a vein, upper inside arm was perfect) before every 3 month MRI.
Danielle is just painful to watch, I say RUN BARRETT RUN. I actually liked this show. I binge watched the season. Captain Jack is pretty cool.
Pasties, do “ladies” still wear those?
On these trips (and at burning man), particularly at the ‘black party’ they do. Neva nude, company out of LA, delightful owner, and addicting instagram feed… makes ours. But you’re right, ladies don’t wear pasties to insurance seminars.
Thanks for the recap, because I know I watched this show, but it’s like my eyes glaze over and I have no memory of what I just watched! LOL
I liked seeing the manatee.
Side Note: While at Sea World there was a mama and baby manatee.
I found out that their teats are under their flippers. (Who knew?)
I got to watch the baby nursing from it’s mama. So Sweet.
Oh, yeah, um, Unanchored or whatever the it’s called,
Danielle is a total Bee-yatch. Wow!
Feeding sharks was not a good idea. Duh!
Wish I had the cash they chucked out for this venture.
So many charities that come to mind.
Barett is with Danielle for free botox. He must have a million units around his eyes. I have to say watching Evan call Danielle to the mat was sweet justice.
You’d have to be an idiot to let Danielle shoot bacteria from botulism in your face. She’s a foot doctor and lord only knows where her degree is from.
More intellectual family members — the pigs! Zinger!
And these assholes are molesting sharks now. Assholes.
I hope Danielle does not move to SF. It’s only 90 miles from my house and that is WAY too close. Trump can take that money and build a fence around Danielle. Or send her to Syria.
The only good thing about this show are the recaps.
Poke my eye out. Danielle they refer to as a doctor! One that treats athletes feet
I watched about 8 minutes of episode one, and couldn’t handle more. So I thought since there are so many people, maybe if I binge the season I could get into it.
I only briefly browsed the posts assuming I will watch the season.
My brief browsing has made me think perhaps I should stick with the posts and pass on the episodes.
Posts are always guaranteed to be entertaining, lol.
Pretty much the worst show Bravo has ever aired…and that is saying a lot. The guys are ugly. The girls are annoying AF. Danielle is the absolute worst(but if I looked like her, I’d probably be a nasty jealous bitch too??♀️). Rachel is tolerable…the rest can be thrown overboard.
I thought Kelsi and Vanessa had a nice redemption scene at the end. I’m certain it was suggested by production to all of them. Danielle however had no regrets.
Still watching, the old train wreck fascination I think, but the ‘humor’ escapes me. I certainly don’t see what JeffGladding sees but I suspect he might be one of those peculiar modern children commenters were complaining about in another thread. Somewhat frightening really.
Dr. Jeff Gladding, Anesthesiologist, is the Captain on the 2nd boat. He started an IV on Max. Maybe he can start one on Danielle and give her some happy juice. Lol.
Ha well you may say I’m peculiar (that’s all a matter of perspective) but I’m not really a child.. not chronologically or professionally, anyway. And don’t kid yourself, I’m a workaholic, and no entitled millennial. You don’t see the humor? You don’t see max getting bitten by a shark, me saying his blood tastes like alcohol, and then his brother getting jealous and trying to get bitten i by a shark humorous? A treasure hunt across an island in the Bahamas (the setting for the golden age of piracy) whereby you’re mandated to have snakes in your pants, clean behind the bar while being heckled, and snort salt and squirt a lime in your eye humorous (‘Queen Anne’s Revenge’ was the name of Blackbeard’s ship, btw)?? Dang.. I think that’s funny as shit. My 94yr old grandma almost lost it when I told her that story.
Dee often just comments without reading those comments.
Max and Quinton actually trying to get by a shark is funny if you like show Jackass on MTV. I don’t.
The treasure hunt was the best part of the series. But not particularly funny. It’s middle school boy funny. Get the mother fucking snakes out of your mother fucking pants! 🙂
Well but unlike jackass, max wasn’t trying at all to get bit by a shark.. it just happened. and he got bit right above a stupid tattoo of a hot dog shark ?.
Middle school boy funny?! But how great was middle school?! And my grandma 94! TAMARA! You ever seen ‘Step Brothers’? Don’t lose your dinosaur! I fear you’re losing your dinosaur!!
Sometimes the best version of comedy is the nonsensical, childish, and irreverent. Monte Python stuff.
So you want the story on snakes in the pants? Well ok you got it.
So when we created this very immature travel group Snakes&Laazers!! I started packing all these laazer beams for parties. And I thought, some asshole is going to ask me ‘yea yea, but where’s all the snakes?’ So I started ordering bags of rubber snakes ??♂️. Many tours and shenanigans later.. the Bahamas..
if you didn’t notice, the weather was shit for 3 weeks and not much to do (no wonder we look like alcoholics). My ADD started to flare, I NEED ACTION. So I created this week long point list called ‘Ye Fabled Snakequest’ 101 tasks such as, read a chapter of a book on the dance floor; put all of jacks boats fruit in condoms; and even some cool shit like FaceTime your mom in the middle of the party and tell her you love her,, and thank a war veteran for their service.. well somewhere in there.. it may have been Quentin.. said ‘it should be a rule to have a snake in your pants at all times!!’ And just like that.. another kindergarten boy humor tradition was born.. which is real funny the next morning when you go to use the bathroom and a bunch of snakes you forgot were there jump out at you..
I have down multiple houseboat trips on a 94 ft boat. Sounds big…it’s not. 22 people.. minimal space. If the weather sucks boredom sets in very quick no matter how beautiful the location. But theme parties and adventures help. I personally would have had a panic attack after the first week. 7 ays of drinking, close quarters and no down time. Those trips are not made for long haul. Three night strike missions. Party hard and peace out, I think following a few charters would have a better narrative.
I loved the show.loved the out fits, the effort was appreciated. However, I could never keep up with the drinking.. Don’t blow your pancreas on liquor, no going back..I was sad for Captain Jack, Leny deserved better. So did Danielle move?
Did she take her besties with her, that was so disrespectful of her. Life’s really lonely when you alienate other people..
Haha well first off, Barrett is my ace (and 2nd best pirate), so I have to. Package deal. And, Danielle is on her best behavior when I captain the ship, bwahaha. We have an understanding— on my crüe, no drama, no bitchiness. It’s no excuse but I think she was having some quarter life crisis at the end of the show. I was too busy clowning around to even notice ??♂️
Much like Milania Trump, I feel like Barrett needs to be rescued from his situation.
Ahhhhh I’m so happy for thus recap and the comments here!
I think I am the only person who likes this show. I can’t stand Danielle but I like Rachel. And I like all of the boys.
Haven’t seen this episode but it sounds like everyone figures out that Danielle is not a good person and I am here for that!
Hi Dr. Jeff. Your commentary is funny to me ?
Ha thanks I’m just trying to play devils advocate, per usual. And if I may,, ever so gently defend friends and explain a few things. The show gets all the girl drama, but maybe not enough back story of how we all came together and who we are. I was just happy to be a part, laugh at them from afar, and play court jester when called upon ??♂️
Hi Dr. Jeff. I really like the concept of the show. My humor gravitates from snotty high brow to juvenile (I find parts of American Vandal hilarious.) I hate the mean girl thing more than I like the fun parts. If you have ANY SWAY, it would be great to find people who have intelligent, funny dialog to counter the raucous adventures, not the Tweetie Bird and meanie dialog. I do enjoy the pirate stuff, Talk Like a Pirate Day is my birthday and it is all I do to celebrate on that day — along with cake and ice cream.
Does Danielle’s selfish behavior like her dictating who her friends can be friends with and that she never takes accountability for anything remind anyone of RHONJ Danielle’s behavior.
YES! I think every week she’s a younger version of Danielle Staub before children, She just has to commit a few felonies and get mixed up with the drug cartel and then she will have completed the cycle. IF Barrett has proposed, she only has 18 engagements to get through.
Omg! Lololol!!
Oh boy. I’m just now getting caught up on this super fun shitshow and I have to say that TT, you were 100% right all along about Danielle. I really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt about her behaviour, but her “me, me, me” attitude really put a damper on the entire series.
Otherwise, these ridiculous characters really know how to have a good time and are so fun to watch. It’s a real shame that this one dark cloud rained on them all.
God love ya, Barrett..
Dr. Jeff, you’re dope?
Well thanks I’ll take it! I been called worse! To be honest.. next week I have Danielle, Barrett, and Korey on my boat (and some other savage personalities) to St.Martin. I know I know TT, #gluttonforpunishment. But as I am the captain this round and we are holding another Swashbucklers Regatta (typically I hold these in my home of Lake Tahoe), I will be implementing a ROAST of Danielle with all these comments! What scallywag asks for the WiFi password at such times! She’s going to get it! I specifically said NO FEELINGS on pirate day!! I’ll let ya know how it goes and not when I crush Barrett for the treasure. No inflatables this time… or all inflatables, tbd
I can’t believe I googled “inflatable penis”for you.
https://www.amazon.com/Dueling-Dicks-Inflatable-Penis-Sword/dp/B01436A68M
No Swashbucklers Regatta should be without an inflatable dueling penis game.
Also, roasting Danielle is a terrible idea. She will be irritated the entire time and it will hurt both of her feelings. Just egg her instead.
I think slipping a few live snakes down someone’s pants would be a riot!
I’ve only watched the first episode of this show, but this recap makes me want to watch more. Kind of an odd bunch, but could be quite entertaining. My surprise was that Danielle was young – when I first saw her I thought she was a woman in her 40’s, and couldn’t figure out where she fit in. Well, I have my answer, she doesn’t fit in.