I’m going to try to get through a double recap of this dumb show, despite having a tension headache. I’m a glutton for punishment. I had to drive to downtown Atlanta today in the rain and the traffic was awful. I tensed up for the entire trip and seemed to have caused myself a stress headache. I’d really like to just go back to bed but I am going to try to hang in there for Top Chef.
Rachel has taken to the bed to cry. I can’t say that I blame her, the other girls are just awful to her. Eventually, she opts to join the group who go for a beach day replete with a floating bar. Rachel’s sort of not really boyfriend seems to be on the mean girls side. WTF, Albie?
They two groups take tenders back to their sailboats and finally set sail for a couple of hours. They are actually SAILING, with sails up and everything! Korey may have to leave early because the person covering his accounts has decided to quit the company.
Rachel has decided to switch over to the second boat to get away from all the assholes and bitches. The mean girls are being mean to Rachel’s friend, Cayla. Albie seems to have taken over Rachel’s slot on the first boat and joins in with the bitches on trash talking Rachel. Did I mention these people are horrible? All they do is talk about Rachel.
Max’s older brother, Quentin, seems willing to work on their relationship which is not really a relationship at all at the time. Quentin talks about how they thought Max was a girl for their mother’s entire pregnancy and how sad everyone was when they found out Max was a boy. His mother even dressed him in lots of the girl clothes she had purchased. The or the sorts of stories you probably don’t want to tell on television.
For this leg of the trip they are actually tied up to the dock. This sure makes getting from the boat to the bar much easier. Danielle has decided to get drunk and demands that Barrett spend his entire evening catering to her every need. Pug decides to confront Max about continuing to hook up with Vanessa. She is totally meddling in her “best friend’s” relationship. She is literally telling him not to sleep with her anymore. Max talks to Vanessa to clear up any misconceptions she has about the nature of their nonrelationship. Vanessa is devastated and she has her “friend” Pug to thank for it. And did I mention the entire conversation took place with Max in a fox costume?
Everyone heads back to the boat and Vanessa is seething away silently plotting against Max. But first she is going to trash Rachel’s friend Cayla who she says is a liability and is never going to sail with them again. Vanessa is really drunk. Rachel tries to defend Cayla to Vanessa but it leads to a physical altercation between Vanessa and Rachel.
On to the next episode. it’s the morning after and Captain Jack has decided to hold court at the bar. Everyone gets to air their grievances. Vanessa apologizes to Cayla for trash talking her but yet still seems to blame Rachel for the entire altercation. I wonder if she even remembers what went down. Pug seems to blame everyone else for “poking the bear” that is Vanessa. She doesn’t seem to think Vanessa should be accountable for anything and you get what you get when you cross Vanessa. Rachel points out that some people on the boat feel bullied by the three mean girls. Then Danielle jumps in blathering on giving everyone advice on how to behave. Really, Danielle? Have you looked in the mirror? Finally the skipper from boat two points out how disrespectful their behavior is to Captain Jack especially since he is grieving the loss of a close friend.
Stupid Vanessa makes a huge point of saying she is going to make the day all about celebrating the life of Jack’s friend. How about you start by not being a giant cunt satchel? Jack basically throws Vanessa off his boat and places her on the other one. And off they go for a short little sail.
It looks like the three bitches, Danielle, Vanessa and Pug are all on the same boat. And what are they doing talking about Rachel of course. Danielle wants to remind us that Rachel slept with Barrett for the billionth time. Then she announces she is going to get blind drunk and that they are to turn her over to Barrett for her to babysit when they reach their destination. Danielle is screaming to anyone who will listen that it is her day! What happened to it being a celebration of Jack’s friend, Lenny!?Meanwhile, on the other boat everyone is calm, cool and collected.
Once the two groups hook up, Rachel throws an egg near Danielle and things get heated again. Oddly Pug was sort of in on the egg caper with Rachel. Captain Jack if furious with Danielle for constantly saying it is her day.
Cayla and Vanessa randomly make up and Vanessa admits it was really Max she was mad at. Danielle on the other hand is not ready to hug things out with Rachel. She is very drunk and wants to confront Rachel. Barrett tries to talk her down but it only leads to Danielle being a bitch to him too.
All the drunks go back to the boat and Jack gives a toast to Lenny and tells them all that they are disrespectful pricks for not making the day about Lenny at all. Then he storms off to his quarters. The other captain tries to give him some comfort. Jack is on the verge of quitting the boat.