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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Unanchored: The Kiss of Death, Doomsday

Unanchored: The Kiss of Death, Doomsday

December 20, 2018 by tamaratattles 26 Comments

I’m going to try to get through a double recap of this dumb show, despite having a tension headache. I’m a glutton for punishment. I had to drive to downtown Atlanta today in the rain and the traffic was awful. I tensed up for the entire trip and seemed to have caused myself a stress headache. I’d really like to just go back to bed but I am going to try to hang in there for Top Chef.

Rachel has taken to the bed to cry. I can’t say that I blame her, the other girls are just awful to her. Eventually, she opts to join the group who go for a beach day replete with a floating bar. Rachel’s sort of not really boyfriend seems to be on the mean girls side. WTF, Albie?

They two groups take tenders back to their sailboats and finally set sail for a couple of hours. They are actually SAILING, with sails up and everything! Korey may have to leave early because the person covering his accounts has decided to quit the company. 

Rachel has decided to switch over to the second boat to get away from all the assholes and bitches. The mean girls are being mean to Rachel’s friend, Cayla. Albie seems to have taken over Rachel’s slot on the first boat and joins in with the bitches on trash talking Rachel. Did I mention these people are horrible? All  they do is talk about Rachel.

Max’s older brother, Quentin, seems willing to work on their relationship which is not really a relationship at all at the time. Quentin talks about how they thought Max was a girl for their mother’s entire pregnancy and how sad everyone was when they found out Max was a boy. His mother even dressed him in lots of the girl clothes she had purchased. The or the sorts of stories you probably don’t want to tell on television.

For this leg of the trip they are actually tied up to the dock. This sure makes getting from the boat to the bar much easier. Danielle has decided to get drunk and demands that Barrett spend his entire evening catering to her every need. Pug decides to confront Max about continuing to hook up with Vanessa. She is totally meddling in her “best friend’s” relationship. She is literally telling him not to sleep with her anymore. Max talks to Vanessa to clear up any misconceptions she has about the nature of their nonrelationship. Vanessa is devastated and she has her “friend” Pug to thank for it. And did I mention the entire conversation took place with Max in a fox costume?

Everyone heads back to the boat and Vanessa is seething away silently plotting against Max. But first she is going to trash Rachel’s friend Cayla who she says is a liability and is never going to sail with them again. Vanessa is really drunk. Rachel tries to defend Cayla  to Vanessa but it leads to a physical altercation between Vanessa and Rachel.

On to the next episode. it’s the morning after and Captain Jack has decided to hold court at the bar. Everyone gets to air their grievances. Vanessa apologizes to Cayla for trash talking her but yet still seems to blame Rachel for the entire altercation. I wonder if she even remembers what went down. Pug seems to blame everyone else for “poking the bear” that is Vanessa. She doesn’t seem to think Vanessa should be accountable for anything and you get what you get when you cross Vanessa. Rachel points out that some people on the boat feel bullied by the three mean girls. Then Danielle jumps in blathering on giving everyone advice on how to behave. Really, Danielle? Have you looked in the mirror? Finally the skipper from boat two points out how disrespectful their behavior is to Captain Jack especially since he is grieving the loss of a close friend.

Stupid Vanessa makes a huge point of saying she is going to make the day all about celebrating the life of Jack’s friend. How about you start by not being a giant cunt satchel? Jack basically throws Vanessa off his boat and places her on the other one. And off they go for a short little sail.

It looks like the three bitches, Danielle, Vanessa and Pug are all on the same boat. And what are they doing talking about Rachel of course. Danielle wants to remind us that Rachel slept with Barrett for the billionth time. Then she announces she is going to get blind drunk and that they are to turn her over to Barrett for her to babysit when they reach their destination. Danielle is screaming to anyone who will listen that it is her day! What happened to it being a celebration of Jack’s friend, Lenny!?Meanwhile, on the other boat everyone is calm, cool and collected.

Once the two groups hook up, Rachel throws an egg near Danielle and things get heated again. Oddly Pug was sort of in on the egg caper with Rachel.  Captain Jack if furious with Danielle for constantly saying it is her day.

Cayla and Vanessa randomly make up and Vanessa admits it was really Max she was mad at. Danielle on the other hand is not ready to hug things out with Rachel. She is very drunk and wants to confront Rachel. Barrett tries to talk her down but it only leads to Danielle being a bitch to him too.

All the drunks go back to the boat and Jack gives a toast to Lenny and tells them all that they are disrespectful pricks for not making the day about Lenny at all. Then he storms off to his quarters. The other captain tries to give him some comfort. Jack is on the verge of quitting the boat.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News Tagged With: Barrett Young, Bravo, Chelsi Pugliese, Danielle McNeil, Entertainment News, Evan Tauber, Korey Warzala, Max Craddock, Rachel McGowan, Unanchored, Vanessa Cavanaugh

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. naa says

    December 20, 2018 at 7:40 pm

    I’m still upset.

    Reply
  2. Jenn DePersis says

    December 20, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    this is just an odd show. I don’t know what it is about these people that is so weird.

    Reply
  3. Nanette says

    December 20, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    I took this show off my record schedule. I read the recap because it is funny. The show is not. Just think if it had been a boat full of smart, funny, nice people. I know plenty of people like that who are entertaining even when they are drunk and I am sober. These people all suck. Douche canoes and cunt satchels (two terms I learned here). Thanks TT for the laughs the show does not provide.

    Reply
  4. Jennebean says

    December 21, 2018 at 1:37 am

    This is my first comment ever. But I was waiting for this recap. This terrible show is oddly entertaining. However I also watched that terrible show Utopia so I am not a good judge of quality tv

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 21, 2018 at 12:03 pm

      Ha! I loved Utopia!

      Reply
  5. Floridagirl says

    December 21, 2018 at 6:58 am

    I’m not watching this show but as always, I enjoy your recaps! I can’t get into these younger cast Bravo shows. Makes me worried about Bravo added younger housewives to the different franchises.

    Reply
  6. Bungalow Chris says

    December 21, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    Jack came out in his Fairy costume.
    That says it all.
    Max grew up with mama dressing him in girls clothes.
    Now, they all wear their panties, leotards, and tutu’s.
    Patting each other on their butts.
    Meanwhile, the ugly mean girls are on this ride, because they have an illusion
    that the men are interested in these fuggly girls.
    The girls force their issues on these guys and it’s not fair!
    Then, they all make a big deal about sailing for 15 miles. Whoopie Doopie Doo!
    15 miles on the water is like Zoom Swish, “we’re there!”
    The guy that was leaving the boat, to go back to work, announced it was ‘his last day’ about
    every second. Enough! Leave, poor baby, you went to the Bahama’s for 2 weeks instead of three. I’m so sad for ya. Shit!
    I don’t get this group at all.
    Why do these girls keep dreaming up something that isn’t there romantically.
    If I’m going to hang out with my gay friends I’m not going with the idea
    that we’ll be all paired up in couples. Hello? Go, have fun, wear whatever, drink, eat, party, like
    friends do, not some make believe romantic hook up bull crap.
    Weak people annoy the fuck out of me. They are NO FUN to be around no matter how much
    they scream and whoop and try to make a big scene like they are having SUCH A GOOD TIME!
    They are NOT having fun, at all! It’s ALL a bunch of bullshit.
    Again, I keep saying it, this show would be much better if they could take it for face value and
    just really be friends. NO fricking romance, cuz there really is none.

    Reply
    • Leann Griffis says

      December 21, 2018 at 11:40 pm

      That was well said. I wonder some of those exact same things. The entire time I watch I keep feeling like something is off. Like they are all trying too hard to be interesting and shocking!!

      Plus I am going to be honest, there are no pretty people to be eye candy. Yes I know that makes me shallow.

      Reply
      • Shredder says

        January 2, 2019 at 1:00 am

        I agree with every word you said!

        Reply
        • Jeff Gladding says

          January 7, 2019 at 8:06 pm

          That’s an interesting comment… not sure how to respond to it but to say we do have intense and intriguing friendships and ‘get each other’. Beyond max and Vanessa and Barrett and D, it’s hard to get into physical relationships that are meaningful, bc we all live so far away from each other and only see each other a few weeks per year. But make no mistake— i for one have done 97 trips with this cast.. I’ve stormed the slopes of japan in inflatable Godzilla suits with Barrett, went to 80s prom In my Delorean with Rachel, boated around emerald bay with chelsi, burning man with max, and Vanessa is having her birthday at my place in Tahoe next week. The show was a real reach for bravo..they wanted drama, but so much more.. and it was hard to get all of that and real character development and history even in just 9 episodes ??‍♂️

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            January 7, 2019 at 9:58 pm

            There was a show on Bravo called Tour Group. It was a bunch of strangers traveling the world with hot tour guides. They did all sorts of amazing things. There were hookups and fights and assholes and nice people. I LOVED THAT SHOW.

            No one watched it. They didn’t even burn off the last few episodes in the middle of the night. 🙁

            This is why we can’t have nice things.

            I would have loved a show about you and Barrett taking Tokyo by storm. 🙁

            Reply
  7. RealE says

    December 22, 2018 at 7:33 am

    Can’t decide if I hate this show or love to hate it. There is little depth to anyone portrayed on this show besides maybe Jack. I can’t say I find the Rachel-and-friends crew any less sufferable than the other girls.
    I imagine this show is costly to produce so it’s odd that They are churning it out so fast around the holidays; like a throwaway show.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 22, 2018 at 11:49 am

      No one is watching us except for a half dozen of us. And that is only because it is such a trainwreck I can’t turn away.

      Reply
  8. Jeff says

    December 22, 2018 at 11:09 am

    This recap is terrible. TT just blandly throws out a versioned play by play with no attention to detail, emotion, or background. And it’s not even accurate— Evan is clearly not the captain of the other boat, that is Rupert, the other British bloke. Was she even watching?
    I’ve also seen the crews constantly fending for themselves, cleaning up, cooking, sailing and docking. TT makes it sound like they’ve had a host of indentured servants the whole time and just been doing shots. I’ve also noticed that the weather was terrible the whole time— have any of you been to this part of the Bahamas? For one it’s a lazy culture with not a lot to do. For two, you DO NOT SAIL when there are gale force winds. It is extremely dangerous. So it seems for much of the durations there’s wasnt a helluva lot more they could do but put on a hoodie and have a few drinks.. which is still entertaining with these clowns.
    2ndly — y’all need to have a sense of humor. The reason these fools got picked up for a show is because they’re very accomplished and smart ‘in real life’ and get together to act and dress a bit like animals. Y’all probably wear linen and khakis on Saturday.. nothing wrong with that.. but no one cares. Nobody finds that entertaining. So no need to jump to the conclusion everyone is gay when captain jack wears a tutu. They obviously not gay. Btw y’all should go to burning man sometime.
    Thirdly,, yea the girls are all the drama. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? Have you noticed that all the guys do in the background is clown around and have fun? But it’s BRAVO.. they need the drama. Wanna know what these trips are really like? Take all the girl drama and turn it down from an 8 to a 3. Then take all the guy drama and turn it from a 0 to a 0.. or perhaps a 0 to a 1. Then focus on all the ridiculous antics and party’s and attire and events, make the weather actually sunny, raise the sails.. and you’ve got yourself a proper Bucketlust with these friends

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 22, 2018 at 11:56 am

      No, I wasn’t really watching. I was too busy laughing at how dumb and unaccomplished they are. There is a professional student living off his parents dime, a doctor who is giving up her practice to move to California. A teacher, and who even knows or cares what the other ones due. The only won who seems employee is the one that left to deal with a work issue. Most of the females are downright disgusting people.

      Reply
    • Bungalow Chris says

      December 26, 2018 at 1:12 pm

      Bucketlust = Fuck it lost

      Reply
      • Jeff Gladding says

        December 26, 2018 at 4:45 pm

        Is that a compliment?

        Reply
        • Bungalow Chris says

          December 28, 2018 at 1:48 pm

          You might be a nice person, but your show is dumb. Sorry, Dr. Jeffers.
          I do enjoy reading your responses though. It’s kind of cool what you have shared on this site. Cheers to ya!

          Reply
          • Jeff Gladding says

            December 28, 2018 at 2:58 pm

            Ha well you know what they say about opinions.. no worries though I’m a big boy I can handle the negative feedback; I’d be naive to think the show is for everybody. A central theme of the show is a counter culture of friends ‘unanchored’ by societal norms.. professional adults by day, immature children on vacay.. whether that’s being emotional selfish brats, or just dressing as a pirate with snakes in the pants.. it’s that illustration of the Freudian Id vs. the Ego.. and not everyone is gonna get it or enjoy it. But were the cameras to follow us on more real time— these trips would be better suited for Comedy Central or spike tv. Is what it is though- bravo reality needs the Danielle’s you can hate, haha. All that said, I hope for my sake you’re totally wrong and many others love it! I wouldn’t mind getting paid a few more bags of peanuts go act like a clown on a boat for season 2!

            Reply
            • tamaratattles says

              December 28, 2018 at 6:28 pm

              The show could have reined in the id a bit. And the introduction of the superego would have also helped.

              While the requirement that everyone must have snakes in their pants bordered on funny while at the same time wondering about the errr, lack of snakes in some of the guys pants, it also sort of harshed my whole sex with a pirate fantasy courtesy of RHONY when the ladies went to “Slutty Island” (St. Barts) and Luann and Sonja both had sex with the same pirate. Luann did it in French and Sonja did it in her derriere.

            • tamaratattles says

              December 28, 2018 at 6:35 pm

              Approximately how many peanuts did you get?

              Also did Shep Rose and Craig Conover from Southern Charm on this trip? They were there about the same time.

            • Bungalow Chris says

              December 29, 2018 at 12:53 am

              I understand being with my group of peeps that bring out the crazy. It is the chemistry between those few friends that feed my creative fix.
              Seeing them is like transcending into a time warp where we have great belly laughs and all is accepted, because of the warmth & love for each other. There is nothing more fun.
              Regarding your show, the “friendships” seem forced and unbelievable.
              I did like the conversation that Danielle had with Rachel about Albie? and putting things in perspective. I think Danielle should heed her own advice.
              Wish the gals were truly as strong and independent as they profess.
              Woman can exude strength in character without having to be Betty
              Badass. It’s quite obvious they lack confidence and are not happy little pirate’esses.
              I think the guys have more fun with the girls when they are doing more sporty/athletic activities.
              Never once saw any of the guys show a glimpse of interest in these girls.
              Never heard any conversations about being attracted to these girls.
              So why the pretense?

            • Kara says

              January 12, 2019 at 2:37 pm

              “A counterculture of friends? It’s all white, privileged people drinking and screwing around. It makes okay TV, but it’s certainly nothing to aspire to.

            • Jeff Gladding says

              January 12, 2019 at 8:03 pm

              I say ‘counter culture’ because we do a lot of shit that nobody else does.. burning man, crazy ski weeks in Tahoe, japan, sailing trips, concerts.. and we continually come from our regular hard working lives from cities around the country to reconvene and do crazy shit.. we ski fast, surf, skydive, and are always having theme nights and stupid games. I personally don’t know any other group of friends that does that. Neither does my family, or my ‘regular friends’. Most our peers are too busy settling down and shopping for khakis. That’s why I say counter culture and the whole premise of the show! That’s why its called unanchored, and hopefully entertaining. Now it is bravo, so there was 1000% more drama than on any of our usual trips. Actually for me,, the trip was just about as low drama as usual.. but i wasn’t where the cameras where when it was going down. The guys tend to not give a shit, walk away and have fun.
              As for white and entitled.. personally.. yes I’m white. Sorry can’t help that. Certainly didn’t help get me into medical school if you wanna know the truth. As for entitled— I take offense. I grew up very middle class and busted my nuts for just shy of 15 years post high school for a quarter million in student debt. Now max? Ok fine.. entitled. But the guy still triple majored and went to law school and is absolutely a great guy.
              So say what you want about the show, state your opinions,, but to just throw out ‘white entitled, and nothing to aspire to’ well a. Could call that counter-racist (is there such a thing?), very assuming and to a degree offfensive.
              All of these people work very hard for our good times. That’s why bravo keeps stating our fucking jobs next to our names. This ain’t the goddamn kardashians or real housewives. And we work hard for our friendships because we share an ethos and integrity. Nevermind all the stupid girl drama.. you knew you were getting that when you flipped to channel bravo

  9. jay says

    January 9, 2019 at 1:12 pm

    Anyone who has ever met Vanessa Cavanaugh knows she is a complete BITCH. Seriously, just a rude foul mouthed human being.

    I’m assuming they wanted a loud mouthed drama queen on whatever shows she has been on, but in real life when you are trying to have a nice time with your friends or significant other, she is horrible.

    Reply
    • Jeff Gladding says

      January 12, 2019 at 8:08 pm

      Haha sounds like you’ve met her at some point. A few of girls can be polarizing for sure— which I’ve pointed to them on numerous occasion. Now if I had introduced you to her, she probably would have been nice as pie. But catch her in a mood and she doesn’t have any affiliation,, she could be.. bitchy. Condescending. I’ll concede. And doesn’t make it right! So here you see the consequence— and I cant fault you ??‍♂️

      Reply

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