Vanderpump Rules brings us right back to SUR Pride. Watch entitled twits attack an untalented Brit, against a backdrop of neon and side ponies. Like, oh my God, the 80’s were so awesome! Raquel is at a crossroads. James’ cheating baggage is finally too big to ignore. It’s time to fully commit to his truth or walk away for good. She pulls Hope aside for more Coachella details. She wants reassurance, any excuse to maintain her current standard of living. But Hope’s not that kind of friend. Hope’s the kind of friend that sleeps with your boyfriend for 3 years. And tells you about it on camera. You know, a Hollywood friend.
A drunken James Kennedy enters Lisa Vanderpump’s radar. He’s White Kanye, boasting and mugging. As any responsible business woman would, LVP cedes all responsibility for the impending disaster to Raquel (one of the few cast members who doesn’t actually work for her). Raquel is a little more concerned with the threat to her
TV career relationship. When confronted with all the Hope details, James screams, “Fake news!” in her face until she drops it. Raquel is frazzled. She blames the liars and haters. Don’t they realize she has her hands full enabling a raging alcoholic? She doesn’t need extra drama, thank you very much. At least she knows which path to take. “Bottom line: I want to stay with James.” Yeah. The truth is so overrated these days.
The persecution of James rages on. Katie conveniently remembers her mean-spirited “Like, what’s going on with your fucking pants, dude?” as a kindly attempt to help out a messy coworker. James plays the victim, ranting about how everyone is against him. Raquel, his captive audience, remembers things a little differently. Wasn’t she the one trapped in the bathroom with Kristen and Hope? Raquel is saved from speaking her mind by a well timed phone call disinviting James to Peter’s birthday. Actions have consequences, and James loses more camera time.
Considering all of the current RHOBH drama, it’s interesting to see Teddi Mellencamp visit LVP. What starts as a scripted cross-promotion turns into an exposé on grief. It’s choreographed pain, real and visceral.
Peter and Carter, the two most boring men in LA, have a birthday party. Luckily, Sandoval brings his heavily botoxed father (yeah, we get it now, Tom). The Witches of WeHo, clearly unaware of a Zaddy in their midst, focus on one of this season’s B lines: Scheana sucks, part 213. This week’s Scheana-gasm is her inability to form an opinion. She knows something happened between Hope and James, but she doesn’t know. Hope is a liar but she’s telling the truth. Stassi can’t trust her if she won’t take a side. Her side. Instead of working towards any kind of resolution, the Witches spend the rest of the party telling anyone who’ll listen why she’s not invited to girl’s night. And before you get upset, this isn’t them being mean girls. Scheana clearly brought this upon herself.
The first girl’s night of the season is a classy affair. Hair did, gowns asparkle, this group cleans up well . They’re barely one martini in before Brittany drops a bomb: Raquel is on her way. Brittany feels protective of Raquel. Barely a year ago she was in the exact same place. As someone who cares, someone who knows, she wants Raquel to have all the facts. Including Katie’s accusations. Raquel blames everything on James’ alcoholism. She’s desperate to prove he’s not innately evil, as if that somehow negates his prior bad acts. Facing a tough audience, Raquel throws out her strongest piece of evidence: he only mistreats her when he’s been drinking. The wall of stoney faces crumble. For one brief moment, they’re a table of women, scared for their friend.
Katie follows through on her threat and reports James to Lisa Vanderpump. We’re treated to a montage of the Many Rages of James Kennedy. LVP knows there’s only so far she can coddle him. Sometimes it’s just too ugly (and public) to keep on. Katie lays down the law. She’s not willing to work in place where derogatory comments and misogyny are tolerated. The ball is in Lisa’s court now. Dun dun dun.
Next week: TomTom interviews staff; Ariana and Stassi plan a joint birthday party; Lala claps in Raquel’s face; James sobs while begging for his job.