The bizarre choices Bravo is making in stacking their shows lately and moving things all about, Unanchored is suddenly the only show I have to recap on Mondays. This is great for Banjo because it is his favorite viewing night of the week. He gets two hours of music and sometimes his tone deaf mama sings along. The Voice is really good this season!
I would prefer if I only have one recap to have it at 8 rather than ten. The difference between 8 and 10 is the difference between three hours of happy hour and five. I’m just saying. Plus these people are insufferable.
Plus there are way too many people to keep up with. So bear with me as I point out how horrible they all are, because they really are. I’ve somehow managed to attract a few rich people into my life and could not be better people. I have no idea why they are nice to me. But “these ones?” not so much. And they are pretend rich. The one girl keeps saying she is a big time hairstylist and not a cheap hair cut girl. Um, you know who never says that? Chelsea on Southern Charm who you could probably not get a hair cut with for the next five years. These people think very highly of themselves for spending all their money on vacations. I am a huge advocate for vacations. You only live once. Go as much as you can possibly go and spend as much as you can possibly spend. But after the age of say, 25, perhaps you should expand your horizons past drunking beach hookups and see …Kenya or Pari or Istanbul or Casablanca or do a Nile tour or go to South America. Going to the fucking Bahamas three times a year is ridiculous.
I hate these idiots. I don’t hate them for what they want to do. If their entire travel journey is the Bahamas, then that’s fine. Some people aren’t made for real travel and the Bahamas are lovely and safe. I hate them for thinking this is somehow accomplishing things in life. Or somehow traveling. They could basically swim back to Miami if need be.
I’m not sure they have even put up a sail. EVER. This is like that cove on Lake Lanier I vaguely remember when all the boats hook up and get drunk. They seem to think this is “completely unique” and is a special thing just for them. Because, drunken boat hookups never happen anywhere. I CAN’T with these fools.
I CAN NOT with the “shocking BDSM.” Welcome to yachting 101.
I don’t think anyone will get this, and I think this all displayed in a ridiculous way. This is like summer on Lake Lanier if you have a boat. With bigger boats on the Bahamas. Not that I would know. I got over it at a very young age. Allegedly.
Suddenly, we are docked. Why? So bored.
Rachel’s boyfriend is a douchebag. And he has showed up for the cameras.
Captain Jack cleaning the boat is my favorite part so far.
I predict Danielle and Derrick(?) won’t make it and she is an idiot. None of these couples will make it. They are all horrible people.
Back on the boat, still no sailing. Just motoring around the islands. And yet they still manage to run into the dock. Brilliant “sailing.”
Oh look, was that a small sail?
In terms of sailing, this is like moving from one parking lot to another. And still having an accident.
A possible real sail boat joins. Many one up stories begin. It’s hilarious. I was going to be a brain surgeon but then I thought, no, I should really recap really shitty TV shows. So here I am. Also, my parents were the Queen and King of Sheba and they went to Harvard and I give the commencement addresses at Harvard/Radcliffe every year.
I can also spell spontaneous.
I would stop recapping this but Lady C recaps VPR so this is all there is for me.
We are spending a lot of time in a ladies bathroom for a show about sailing.
I let Banjo out and some chick refused initiation. Good for her. These people over estimate themselves.
I think Monday nights may be my new night off.
Barrett is an idiot. Danielle is awful.
This show is ridiculous. They have yet to sail, and most everything happens on the beach. When do they start to sail?
I hate this show.
They don’t even SAIL! They barely motor around from dock to dock. SAILING might be more fun but they don’t SAIL anywhere. And they all suck.