For some of you, the RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular heralds the Christmas season. For me, it’s a sign that RuPaul has a holiday album to sling. Mama Ru is the Bethenny Frankel of drag. She can, and will, sell everything. So here we are, watching Trixie Mattel (season 7, disputed winner All Stars 3), Latrice Royale (season 4, All Stars 1 and 4), Eureka O’Hara (seasons 9 and 10), Mayhem Miller (season 10), Sonique (season 2), Kim Chi (season 8), Jasmine Masters (season 7, All Stars 4), and Shangela (seasons 2 and 3, robbed of win in All Stars 3) fake compete for the fake title of fake Christmas Queen. It’s an unusual mash-up of Christmas special/musical comedy/cross-promotional marketing tool (the Postmates ad is so Vanderpump Rules)/reminder that All Stars premieres next Friday (set your DVR). It’s the overly produced, poorly acted mess 2018 deserves.
If you base the Spectacular’s entertainment value on the poorly choreographed, corny lip-syncs to RuPaul’s questionable hits, it’s a rough spot. The mini-challenge is a lip-sync with the Pit Crew. The maxi-challenge is a lip-sync with the Pit Crew. The queens are in full geish all episode so they don’t need time to paint. But that doesn’t stop the Spectacular from staging a behind-the-scenes lip-sync. Instead of Untucked, we get a traditional Christmas lip-sync. The illustrious judging panel (Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and Todrick Hall) give all of the queens the same critique (great dancing, great runway) and they’re all named winner. It’s a scripted nightmare with more sponsorship than seems legal.
So why am I grinning like a mad woman? With all it’s fits and foibles, all it’s racism and tone-deafness, Drag Race is enter-taint-ment of the highest order. There’s Eureka, looking like a Christmas alien. Sonique’s major glow-up since season 2 is impressive (she’s all woman and that woman is named Yolanda Hadid). The queens get squeamish under the mistletoe because, ew, who wants to kiss a girl? Kim Chi proves (once again) that she’s a photography queen with amazing looks that restrict all movement. Mayhem’s couture Krumpus brings the perfect amount of evil (and glitter) to the Holiday stage.
And then there’s Jasmine Masters. She’s worked hard to get here. Recovered from one of the worst social media avalanches in Drag Race herstory. Made a name for herself instructing the children how Drag Race fucked up drag. And won her spot on All Stars 4 purely by making RuPaul laugh. Now she’s ready to prove herself, but for real this time. She has it all planned out. Enter the workroom like a boss. Whip off her coat to reveal the dress. And slay. As is the case for many dreamers, things don’t quite work out the way she plans. The very first image we get of Jush is her toe poking out under a wonky hem. Oh, the humanity! This poor woman never gets a break. Jasmine naturally makes things worse when she swathes her head in ribbon for the Non-Denominational Christmas Eleganza runway. I think the idea is she’s a gift. There’s a bow and everything. But, basically, Jasmine Masters has a bag on her head. I want to analyze further but I’m stymied. Jasmine Masters has a damn bag on her head. And therein lies her genius. Shining through all of the mess is the confidence and delusion that we’ve come to expect from this loveable queen. Welcome home, Jasmine. Never change.
Not to be outdone, RuPaul ends the Spectacular with the lip-sync face-off fans have been clamoring for: RuPaul’s camel-toe jumpsuit vs Michelle Visages’ camel-toe jumpsuit. The performance isn’t entirely Mariah Carey ImmaJustStandHere. It’s not quite Ramona on Lip Sync Battle. It’s more Lisa Vanderpump (Michelle) and Dame Charlie Hides (Ru) share a bottle of Vanderpump Sangria and dance in the kitchen. With some Vicki twerking thrown in for good measure. They Flashdance some stunts and a death drop but it’s mostly swaying to the beat and one awkward Golden Girls/Dirty Dancing lift. Michelle is in her element (she’s always ready for her close-up) and RuPaul can smell those coins rolling in. It’s another drag evening in the books, and to all a good night.
Don’t forget to tune in next Friday for the RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 premiere.
WTF did I just watch, sober?
Le sigh.
When I read the depth of knowledge that Lady C has on the subject, I feel bad for hating it. I hate musicals. I hated LaLa Land and it won a bunch of awards. I just can’t.
And that crap at the end with RuPaul and Janet Dickenson? Or Michelle. Same difference. Even the stunt doubles sucked.
At least I got to see Eureka.
I don’t know what I expected but this was not it and I felt guilty every time I pushed the fast forward button. I could literally picture me and Lady C in the old folks home together having our first fight.
The highlight for me was that gingerbread girl. And I do mean girl. She has to be transgender, right? She’s kind of perfect. That cannot still be classified as drag. She seems full on female to me. I’d like to rush out and buy the same ass she bought only it would not go with the rest of me. But she has a fantastic ass.
Also, the snow person had one to many coal buttons and I was trying to decide if it was the top one or the bottom one that needed to be plucked the entire performance.
Okay, now y’all need to say something nice about this before Lady C stops being my lady sitter second in command at TT.
First fight averted. The show was total crap for all the things you pointed out and and then some. I just find the diamonds among the filth. Despite my black heart, I’m a perennial optimist. And it sure did whet my whistle for All Stars!
Sonique, the gorgeous woman in Gingerbread, was on Drag Race in season 2. She has since transitioned much like Carmen Carrera (season 3), Stacy Layne Matthews (season 3), Kenya Michaels (season 4), and Jiggly Caliente (season 4). Peppermint (season 9) is the only trans queen who went on the show as a woman. Now we have Sonique and next week, Gia Gunn (season 6) on All Stars 4.
I meant to write about this but it’s kind of awkward (and I was tired and forgot). Not so long ago, RuPaul got himself in another tone-deaf controversy by saying trans women couldn’t compete on Drag Race. The way he said it was very blasé, very dismissive. Chaos erupted and he’s since changed his tune. Casting Peppermint, Sonique and Gia is quasi pandering/atonement for that crisis.
I originally thought the trans issue was another case of RuPaul being out of touch with the LGBTQIA community. Who are we to say women can’t be drag queens? But I have to admit, it was distracting having a woman there (and they weren’t even out of drag). I don’t know the political or historical context of that statement, I just know it felt weird. Let me be clear: my discomfort isn’t reason to ban a subset of performers from the show. But I’m curious how it will be having Gia on All Stars. Clearly this conversation isn’t over.
I would sort of like to wake up every day to Kim Chi doing my makeup. That would freak out the ENTIRE ghetto and be a lot of fun.
I’m all for that and you should defo watch a tutorial or two of hers and post the results 😛
I need a drag queen to show me how to put eye shadow & concealer on. Is that bad?
The recap is pure genius! I could not have written it better! EXACTLY what I was feeling!!! Bravo Lady Cocotte!
Thanks, Toni!
I generally don’t watch any of the sappy Christmas musical specials they bore me to tears but this sounds like a hilarious hot mess which I love. Sorry I missed it hopefully I can find it on a rerun.
It repeats next Fridy night 7pm EST.
Cheychey, same. I’m not anti-Christmas but I don’t enjoy the carols, movies, specials. I think the Spectacular reruns before the All Stars premiere but be warned: it’s the worst of that Holiday crap we hate, just sprinkled with gems like Jasmine Masters’ boy hair clearly visible under her head-bag (I can’t think of a better way to describe that look). Fast forward through the musical interludes and you’ll get about 15 minutes of pure gold.
As much as I live for RuPaul and the Girls…it’s gotten me through some rough times…I must agree with TT…. I was a little underwhelmed….can’t wait for next Friday though! Werk!
I’m super excited for All Stars. Have you thought about your top 3?
I’m excited too. It’s so hard to pick top three as I’m fairly well sure they’re all bottoms. Let”s toast to the next race. Bottoms Up!
That was corny af but wouldn’t have Drag Race any other way! So looking forward to your take on AS4. I’m hoping for a Manilla, Latrice, Valentina and Trinity top four ?
I think we have the same top 4. Monét X Change will always have my heart but she’s not cut out for the competition.
Monet and Monique are both beautiful people and FIERCE queens but to me they’re too fresh out the competition. The same with Aja in AS3. Reading is fundamental in this race but so is growth lol.
Good point. It’s nice to see queens get more than 1 shot at All Stars because sometimes their casting isn’t fair. I’m glad Valentina waited a season. She performed the entire time. I’m excited to see her growth.
I think they were trying to play at camp with something a little different while hocking Ru’s new album, which I’d totally be ok with, but it comes down to this question- have the large-scale improvements to the show’s production effected its ability to play as camp?
Absolutely. It’s no longer a small show that is being produced by a minimal crew with love and affection from people trying to make it work. Now it’s an almost mainstream, big-budget production, which is fine! But I think this ode to its old sensibility unfortunately didn’t play as well as they’d hoped.
90% of this was AWFUL!
Highlights:
Sonique is GORGEOUS. She looks so much happier and comfortable now than she was in S2.
Mayhem killed it as the Krampus
LOVED Shangela’s Frosty/Frostula look
Trixie looked a damn disastrous mess.
BTW, the Holi-Slay Spectacular is already available on Netflix.
Will AS4 episodes be available on Netflix as well?
Oh, I feel so much better now. I was sure Lady C and I were going to have our first fight.
I like all the back stage backfighting and supporting each other and watching the transformations.
Have I always hated the brunette judge and just don’t remember? She was particularly unwatchable on this.
And I like Christmas shows and movies. I like Christmas music! I just can’t STAND musicals where everything is a song. Even I have limits to my Christmas crazy. I have at least three Hallmark movies taping today.
It’s cold and rainy and they say it is “probably not” going to snow so I have to jet out for wine. I’m afraid it may already be bought up. The grocery stores literally sell out of beer and wine if there is even a hint we might get snowed in or lose power.
I should probably buy some sort of treat from Banjo. He is furious with me. My erratic sleeping, whimpering and general malaise is driving him nuts. He lives on a strict schedule and is not having my marathon sleeping sessions and general crabbiness. I shall try to pick up a jug of JUST GET OVER YOUR SELF AND PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER if that is not sold out at Kroger too.
This was SO MUCH FUN!!!!
Drag Race has gotten so serious with all the designer clothes and dark back stories and serious competing. It was so fun to see something just intentionally silly and fun.
I can’t wait for the Halloween special…
I wish they would have marketed it has some kind of scripted special instead of a real contest. Once I figured out what was going on though, I was able to enjoy it for all the reasons you listed above.
I still think they could have at least picked a winner though!