On Melissa’s promotional social media tonight, she said that this episode was really hard to watch. Nono has been in the hospital for weeks and Joe and Teresa have both been there every day. Melissa was there with her kids. The family is all rallying for Nono. Melissa feels badly about some of the things she says on this episode that leads to a rift between her and Teresa and causes everyone to have to choose sides.
On to Oklahoma …
None of the housewives know how to pack for Oklahoma. Some of them think it is “the south” and it is kind of but probably not the way they think. It’s more southern meets western. Or something. At least most of them know that boots are a better option than Louboutins.
Teresa and Joe argue via phone about Joe’s inability to visit his father because he is swamped at work. I have a very successful brother who owns one or two of his own business and he is for the most part the only fulltime employee of the company. I used to use this very same argument with him, you are the boss, you could come if you want to. And it is true in the technical sense, but now that I own my own business, it is an all day every day thing. And yes I could take time off but when I do, I lose a lot of revenue because y’all expect me to be here all day pumping out stories. I get it now. Just because you are the boss doesn’t mean you can call in sick. Or take a mental health day, especially here because not posting regularly causes a nose dive in views. And view pay for my cheap boxed wine. I totally see both sides of the story. Meanwhile, Melissa is caught in the middle.
Teresa is complaining about having to go to Oklahoma like it is as bad as doing nearly a year at camp. Melissa is on to her and knows that since she is pissed at Joe Melissa is in for a bumpy trip.
The girls act like they have never seen cows before. Aren’t Jersey cows from Jersey? Marge’s friend has a huge house in the middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma and the winds are rushing through the plains so hard the girls have to hold on to their weaves. I love it already.
Right off the bat Teresa makes a crude joke about not wanting to milk a cow because it reminds her of milking… I’ll spare you the image I will never get out of my head for those of you who don’t watch and just read the recaps.
Despite the house being huge it was built in the 1930s and only sleeps six. So two people have to sleep in the camper. Teresa immediately refuses to be in the camper. She’s afraid of coyotes. The camper is actually VERY nice. Dolores volunteers for the camper, it was not a selfless move, I would have begged for the camper it’s decked out and private. It looks like Jennifer (is this the first time we have seen her) is going to sleep in a bed with Marge so Dolores has the whole camper to herself. Dolores wins.
Teresa goes out to trash Melissa to Dolores because Joe and Teresa went to the Bahamas on the anniversary of Joe and Teresa’s mother’s death. Teresa thinks that is awful. I think it is great. It’s a hard day and anything that makes it better is great. Melissa tells Jackie that she is having issues with Teresa and her husband’s current argument with her.
I really thought I would like Jennifer because she is, I believe, Turkish? But she packed a ton of Chanel bags brags too much. Maybe she’s Iranian. Everyone goes out to see the beautiful sunset and Jennifer basically says she sees this every night from her beautiful home that is higher than everyone else. Yep. She’s obnoxious as fuck. Marge hates her too.
The ladies sit to an Oklahoma meal prepared by a professional chef. It looks very healthy but Teresa has brought her own meal with her for the trip because she is training for her muscle man competition or whatever. She’s having broccoli. Jackie shares she used to be anorexic. /heavy sigh No one cares.
Oh for the love of baby Jesus. Insert Melissa’s dead daddy story here. /HUGE sigh Apparently, a psychic told her that her dad had another daughter with someone else and she wants to find her. Teresa is not having it. She is pissed because Nono is alive now and she is not making him a priority. I don’t know who I am annoyed with more. Oh yes I do, it’s Teresa. Everything is about Teresa or it doesn’t matter. I do hope that Melissa’s storyline involves finding a sister she didn’t know she had. If true that would be fun.
Wait, why is there a girl named Lexi there listed as “Margaret’s employee?” Joe steps up to take is father out because he has no other option with Teresa out of town. Teresa immediately receives this information as Joe is spending time with his father because Melissa isn’t there. What a “the smaller the forehead the less brain matter” exhibit this is.
There is also another friend of Marge’s there named Polly. I will never keep up with all of these people at the breakfast table. Teresa tells Melissa that when she is not around Joe spends more time with his father. Melissa suggests they talk about this privately. Teresa is not having it she has her agenda and she is going there. Dolores sticks up for Teresa because Dolores has never met a felon or disbarred attorney from New Jersey she doesn’t like. She is/was in bed with the disbarred attorney associated with the site that Thomas Ravenel paid to trash the mother of his children and a perfectly innocent women who dated him for five minutes and bailed. That person also repped Siggy and I can’t believe they didn’t fire Dolores at the same time but there are people who watch these shows who have no idea what is going on even when you explain it to them. They buy the Bravo version of events hook, line and sinker. And that is the majority of the casual viewers.
On the other hand, Teresa has a point that she needed her brother that weekend. And their father could have used some comfort. So again I see both sides but ultimately it is an individual choice. Teresa goes on appearances to this day while her elderly father is in the hospital because “she has to work.” It’s complicated.
In more important news Teresa is wearing cootie cutters and “boot” with stiletto heels. They head out onto THE LAND to either fish or shoot. Some are carrying their Everfulls. /deep sigh Only Melissa and Jackie choose to shoot. This makes them my favorite. But wait, their target is a house?I don’t think I’d agree to randomly shoot a house at all. Random people maybe, but I don’t know who is in the house! Just kidding this is weird as fuck. When I lived in Tallahassee I went fishing with a guy that I was dating briefly and kept going after we broke up. I am a girly girl at heart though. So while I am fine baiting the hook, casting, and reeling it in, I can’t take the live fish off the hook. So if I caught one, the day was done and I would drop it hook line and sinker into a small cooler and cut the line. I woudn’t go again until someone could set the line for me. Teresa caught a nice fish and they threw it back in. I hate people who do that. Jackie? is a great shooter. Melissa doesn’t want to shoot.
Jennifer is awful so she will be team Teresa with Dolores. Then there are the good three, Jackie, Melissa and Marge. Melissa doesn’t want to go shopping with the group because she wants to avoid friction with Teresa. Jackie tries to support Melissa on the shopping trip. Marge stays back with Melissa. The girls get a lot of really nice free merchandise in exchange for Bravo promoting the store and the ladies posting their “purchases” on social media. Nevertheless it was an amazing store and I’d probably buy a pair of their five hundred dollar hand made boots if I were there. All these fools care about is labels and this store has craftsmanship. Bravo again fucks over the store with their lack of giving them decent name recognition. The town clearly paid to have the town name listed several times on the chyron. If you want the name of the store you can go back on their social media for their paid endorsements. The city of Bartlesville, Oklahoma clearly paid a lot for this.
Marge bonds with Melissa after they all get back. Melissa says that everyone gives Teresa a free pass because Joe is in prison and going to be deported. Melissa talks to Teresa about how she treats here and Teresa is a bitch about it. Melissa says she doesn’t want to fight. Teresa is being her true awful self. Melissa begs Teresa to keep her brother sister stuff in between them. Teresa is a moron. Then there is a hug it out moment.
Next week, MOTS.
Other than the random anorexia story, I really liked Jackie a lot. Also spare me your anorexia stories in the name of Christmas, PUHLEASE.