Here in the ghetto, Christmas lights are going up this week, the city tree lightings have begun and people are trying to get into a more festive mood. I realize that the holidays are hard for some, but I’ve always made a conscious effort to be thankful during this week, and focus on the good things in life. I’ve talked extensively here about dealing with anxiety and depression currently I am trying to pull myself out of the hole. I watch A LOT of Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channels. I try to avoid the news for a bit even though I am a news junkie. While I am consciously looking for thanks to uplift my spirit, I keep my eyes open for others who are single during the holiday season and check in with them. It is a considerable effort to push through the desire to just give in and let depression and anxiety win. The biggest part of the plan is avoiding as much negativity as possible.
One of the things I learned early on about writing here is that the people who I am writing about often read here. Many people on reality shows, especially during their first season, comb the internet looking for every mention of their name. Sometimes they reach out to me to let me know how they feel about the site and how they are received here. Sometimes they like what they read and thank me for that, other times they are very hurt by what they have read. So you may want to keep that in mind when you comment.
Today I was sent something from Gina Kirschenheiter’s twitter feed.
I was glad to see Gina face the trolls head on. I’ve never understood people who track down the housewives they dislike to insult them. My reaction to people I dislike is to avoid them. I certainly don’t pursue random strangers to make sure they know my super duper important feelings. It seems unnecessarily cruel.
I’ve spoken with editors of other sites about this issue because it seems to be happening everywhere. I don’t think a lot of commenters understand that we read all the comments and it has an effect on our moods. We’re at a loss of what to do about it. Trying to limit political conversations seems to have worked well, yet on topic comments tend to escalate.
I’m all for fighting amongst ourselves about things, but sadly there are some things that need to be pointed out in the commenting rules. Posting a photo of a 47-year-old woman preparing to deliver a baby after a high risk pregnancy has led to nasty arguments in comments. Perhaps a joyous occasion is not the time to spew vitriol. Not too long ago we had to have this conversation about mocking someone’s suicide. Every day I delete comments from people who mock children and make fun of their looks. There are a lot more comments here daily than the ones you see. The overall tone of comments is getting more and more depressing. After a recap people post comments listing all the things they hate about the people on the show. Again, I try to avoid things that I hate. I can’t stand horror shows so I do not watch them. I do not go to horror sites and talk about how much I hate them. I do not track down people on social media to tell them how much I hate the show and they will probably get divorced for being on such a violent show. I just watch my sappy little Christmas movies and let horror fans enjoy their thing.
That said, there is no commenting rule that all comments have to be nice or that you can’t get in heated arguments in comments. There are no commenting rules about foul language. There are no commenting rules about fighting with other commenters. We have been fighting with each other in comments since this site began. I’m less interested in what y’all are saying to each other and more interested in what you are saying about the people on the show that we watch together. There are commenting rules protecting them. Stupid nicknames are not allowed here, attacks on physical appearance are not allowed (except for cosmetic surgery, it’s open season on cosmetic surgery), children are off limits, family members that are not on the show are generally off limits.
I’m just asking for a little bit of common sense. If your comment every week on every show is a list of all the housewives and what you hate the most about all of them, please keep it to yourself or go somewhere else. I heard you the first fifty times. It’s not good for my mental health to read redundant nasty comments every week that disparage the people on the show. Talk about their ACTIONS in the episode and how you felt about what happened this week rather than just saying Tamra is a bitch and I hate Vicki.
And for the love of GOD, PLEASE READ THE COMMENTING RULES! It will save us all a lot of headache. I’m headed off to comments now to tell you how wrong your opinions are. 🙂
And Merry Fucking Christmas.