Well you guys, this is the penultimate episode of the season. Next week it all goes to hell in a handbasket. I’m quite fond of Lea Black she follows me on Twitter and retweets me a lot, but I feel like she may be the unintentional (?) catalyst of this entire catastrophe. I haven’t watched last nights WWHL yet, but I know that Andy is very saddened by this breakup and that Jenni says only kind things about Jeff, at least from what I’ve heard so far. Let’s get this over with,
Lea Black’s renovation has been my favorite of the season. I am envious of the ability to just renovate with no budget. This show answers my renovation question “How much could it possibly cost?” I’m torn between abandoning the ghetto shack and the only place that insures I’ll never be a bag lady and renovating it and keeping it on hand while I travel after Banjo goes to doggie heaven so I have a place to come home and die. Since I was living here when I was born, the latter seems sort of poetic. The world traveler who was born and died in the same place.
OMG! They are going to High Point, North Carolina, furniture capital of the world I could not be more excited. Jeff is crabby as fuck. They are all late for their flight. Jenni has left her phone and needs to turn around. Jeff is SCREAMING at Jenni and Megan is already contemplating suicide. To say they are off to a bad start is an understatement. Jenni literally sprints out of the car to go get her phone. Gage isn’t sure if he should leave her or not. Jeff is ranting. It’s already very hostile. The twink of the season is getting smaller and smaller in the middle seat in the back. Jeff says they will take five minutes to go back for her, no more.
Dammit. We do not get to go to High Point, because we flash forward a week to another Low Point. We’re at the staff table and there is a guy named Anthony who is hot I’ve never seen before. Is he the new random hot gay assistant de jour? Jeff is pissy again and he comes for Anthony because he busted his phone and hasn’t had one for days. Jeff is pissed and says if you don’t have a phone you are not prepared for work. I’m distracted. There are so many better names that could have been chosen for this episode. High Point, Low Point, iPhone, iFuckedUp, I dunno lots of ways to go here. I am also praying to the gods that Lady C pulled me a photo of Anthony but she probably didn’t because who the hell is this hot new gay? And where is the new twink? Did he quit?
Oh wait, we do get to go to High Point, but not really, we just see them slaving away (are we still allowed to say that?) and being frustrated. Jeff is pissy with Meghan for complaining about the trip. Also it looks like they flew private so why the drama about being late? The plane is not taking off without them. And it looks like the ran into a funnel cloud at some point. Welcome to the south. I have a permanent tornado shelter set up in the middle of my house. Banjo and I have spent many hours there over the years.
Then Jeff opens the floor to complaints. He doesn’t mean it but he does it. Oh there is the twink! He was called on but says nothing.
On to Lea Black’s renovation. She has put an entire kitchen outside. She did it on her own and Jeff hates it. We are ten minutes in, I’ve written a novella and I’m mentally exhausted.
Jeff has a new client. It’s Randall! Lala from Vanderpump Rules betrothed! Lala is making all the decisions and seems to agree with Jeff a lot. Normally, I’d love to talk about Lala and this project that she is managing, but I just need to get on with shit falling apart. Why is Randall acting like he is cheaping out on the changes. He spends more than this on their vacations.
Chaz Dean? NO! MAKE IT STOP! Jeff is really pissy with Meghan and doesn’t seem to understand she has a child. Jeff goes off on her. Chaz jumps in to criticize Meghan. I pause her talking head to moisturize my neck.
I love this Lala reno. I would totally take that couch and chairs they are dumping. Blue is not my furniture color, I’m a red leather girl, but I would totally take his old couch. I’m not fond of the grey ones. They are lovely, just not me. Way too modern.
Meanwhile, back in Hollywood it’s a fake meeting with Lea and Jeff’s bitching is for real. Jeff’s new target is Tyler (sorry for calling him the twink, are we allowed to say that? I forgot his name) he tells him he is a bad assistant. Let;s file this under Jeff (and Gage) hate everyone who works for him. Jeff asks Lea to help him with his employees. Lea says if he wants to reach his full potential he needs to get rid of the things that are holding him back. No matter how much he loves and adores “those things.” Guess what Lea, Jeff didn’t get to where he is without a lot of support and hard work from his employees with no recognition or gratitude. So let’s see how well he does without that support system, shall we?
Jeff and Gage go out and talk about Meghan and Jenni not wanting to do four trips to High Point a year. Did we miss the part where Lea interviewed all the employee and told Jeff that Meghan and Jenni were “disgruntled”? They seem to think Meghan is ungrateful for the opportunities Jeff is giving her. Meghan wants to quit. Again. And she gives notice.
I realize I am not going to get to WWHL in a timely manner so I will just tack a few highlights here. I love that Emily speaks so highly about Shane who called in BECAUSE HE IS HOME TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS! I do not understand all the Shane hate. I think he is a great husband and y’all are just haters. He’s taking tons of shit for just being on his wife’s show and supporting her. Y’all are why we can’t have nice things.
Jenni doesn’t keep in touch with Zoila.
Thanks for being patient y’all. I am trying to keep my shit together Also is this the Brandon that left Stanley the Giraffe behind in the fire?