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You are here: Home / 90 Day Fiancé / 90 Day Fiancé: I Know What You Did

90 Day Fiancé: I Know What You Did

November 13, 2018 by The Lady Cocotte 20 Comments

By The Lady Cocotte

90 Day Fiancé has been making crazy headlines all weekend. And that’s without the new episode! So sit back and enjoy. Or pull your hair out. Your call. Warning: This post (and comments) could contain 90DF spoilers.

STEVEN, 20 (Bowie, Md) and OLGA, 20 (Russia)

Olga wakes Steven in the middle of the night. Time’s up. The baby is coming. She’s terrified. As Steven runs through frame, pain washes over Olga’s face. She’s about to make the biggest leap of her life, without a parachute, strapped to an emotionally unstable manchild. There’s no backing out now. The hospital has no patience for the cameras or Steven’s sense of entitlement. Olga is forced to stand in a drafty hallway as wave after wave of contractions hit, begging him to leave. Steven won’t take no for an answer. He badgers. He cajoles. He threatens. Finally, Olga’s pain/stupidity threshold hits it’s limit. “Don’t mess with me, Steven,” she growls. Olga lumbers away to labor in privacy and the hospital asks the crew to leave. Steven pledges to take his family back to the lawless United States, where a man’s will bends rules.

Steven returns to the hospital at first light, hoping to gain access to his birth experience. Alone in her room, Olga winces in pain. There’s a lot of paperwork but eventually American audacity pays off. Steven’s in the room. His genuine delight (and surprise) at hearing his son’s heartbeat charms Olga. She might be the only adult in the relationship but she’s not alone. Steven is confused when the doctor explains his big-headed kid needs a C-section. Calling it a caesarean section doesn’t help matters. As they head into the operating room, Steven and Olga look like the children they are.

COLT, 33 (Las Vegas, NV), DEBBIE, 55 (Las Vegas, NV) and LARISSA, 31 (Brazil)

Until her green card comes along, Larissa can’t work or drive. Being stuck at home with Debbie is her new normal. Raw enmity clothed in thinly veiled civility (and beef stew). Every action is a battle, every decision a power struggle. Larissa turns to retail therapy. She can’t get rid of the Papa Colt Memorial slot machine but maybe the right couch can turn their dingy apartment into a dingy home. Debbie, the keeper of the car and Colt’s credit card, grudgingly agrees to tag along. She can’t help but roll her eyes as Larissa searches for the most biggee couch. Debbie can spot a gold digger from a mile away. She sees one every time she looks in the mirror. While Colt’s two users negotiate a couch purchase, the underlying power struggle bubbles to the surface. Debbie plays the ace up her sleeve: Colt needs to join this devil’s triangle make the final decision. When Colt eventually backs his mother, Debbie can’t contain her glee. Or her smirk. Mama, 1. Larissa, zero.

On a rare break from Debbie duty, Colt and Larissa visit his cousin’s Etsy-styled home. We find out Larissa expresses love by taking care of Colt’s physical needs but prefers to ignore his boner. It seems cooking ability isn’t the only thing Larissa lied about. Colt, on the other hand, has a great sexual drive. John and Lea’s open-mouthed stares as Colt and Larissa over-share is all of us. Things get a little prickly when John’s skepticism leaks into conversation. Larissa defends her relationship like a pro (she probably got top honors at gold digger school) but now his name’s on the list. Debbie, Cookie Dookie, John. It won’t be today, probably not tomorrow, but some day Larissa will burn their houses down.

ASHLEY, 31 (Mechanicsburg, PA) and JAY, 20 (Jamaica)

Ashley throws Jay a surprise party. She’s ready for him to make friendships and put down roots. The biggest roadblock in their way is Natalie, Ashley’s best friend and Jamaican wingwoman. TLC expects fireworks when the Lothario and the Messenger go at it, mano a mano. The thing is, it’s hard to be invested when Ashley doesn’t care if he cheated. The writing’s on the wall. The message is clear. Ashley has picked her side. #TeamSkinz. The next morning, resplendent in post-coital haze, Jay puts the final nail in Natalie’s coffin. He explains it’s just easier if Natalie’s not around. Ashley agrees. I mean, who needs friends when you’ve got a man?

Natalie is out. Out of Ashley’s life and out of the wedding. Ashley meets up with her bridesmaids to pick up their dresses (and figure out who should be her new best friend). In case you were wondering if she’s even close to these girls, listen, this isn’t the first bridesmaid dress they’ve bought for Ashley. They’re only supporting this wedding so they finally get to wear one. In her “Tired Ass Showgirl” t-shirt, Ashley makes a big deal about Natalie’s no longer needed, “bigger” dress. Ashley is bitter. She spends so much time vilifying her former friend, she misses out on the dress experience. Kind of reminds me of LeeAnne’s dress fitting. Hopefully this is the end of the Natalie bashing. Jay is being pretty ugly on social media and it bums me out.

KALANI, 29 (Rancho Santa Margarita, CA) and ASUELU, 23 (Samoa)

Kalani and Asuelu have to move back to Utah with her mom, dad, and brother. Asuelu wonders how they’re going to make whoopie under daddy’s roof. Now that the not-so-much-a-virgin cat is out of the bag, Kalani is on the Ashley and Jay sex schedule. Things get serious when Kalani brings up Oliver’s father. She knows it’s important to work things out with Kolini before they move. We get another creepy talking head where she makes her relationship with her sister sound crazy dysfunctional. Asuelu is scared of Kolini. He knows who wears the pants in his relationship. Kolini will decide his future.

Kolini, fresh off a new Xanax scrip, breezes into her sit-down with Asuelu like a human being. It throws me off because, Kolini. She thinks it’s adorable that Asuelu has never had wine before. She clearly explains her anger over the supposed-cheating and accepts Asuelu’s version of events. For the first time in her sister (or father’s) presence, Kalani looks up. She tells her sister she loves Asuelu. He’s the one. Kolini gets it. All walls are down. She accepts Asuelu. For now.

JONATHAN, 32 (Lumberton. NC) and FERNANDA, 19 (Mexico)

Jonathan takes Fernanda to the beach to get her mind off the crushing boredom of her new life. Over dinner, Fernanda makes Jonathan’s deep-seated family issues about her. Without their support, she boldly declares, the wedding is off. Jonathan, the teen whisperer, manages to calm Fer down without spilling the depth of his mother’s opposition. Think Kalani’s family. Chantal’s family. Fernanda tucks into her sea bass, unaware of the emotional iceberg looming.

Fernanda is excited to go clubbing. The lovebirds met in a disco when she was 16 18 years old and it remains one of her favorite activities. But she’s not prepared for the reality of clubbing in the states. Fernanda can’t drink. Only Jonathan can. Which he does. A lot. I don’t know if you’ve ever hung out with a drunk person sober. It sucks. When Fernanda escapes to the bathroom for a Jonathan break, TLC sends in a ringer. Before he knows what’s up, drunk Jonathan is grinding on a blonde floozie. He tries to stop the gyrations in a “doth protest too much” kind of way. He tells her he can’t dance with her but his hands go exploring. He tells her he’s engaged but his pelvis says, “-ish.” Jonathan loves any kind of attention. He’s like Jax in that way. But what he loves most of all is a jealous Fernanda. Jonathan gets his ultimate desire. Fernanda gets physical and storms out of the club. Their vacation weekend devolves into shouting in a parking lot. I’m sorry but that’s so Jax.

ERIC, a really rough 40 (Baraboo, WI) and LEIDA, a really rough 29 (Indonesia)

In a case of TLC staging on steroids, Eric crams Leida’s entire family into a small van. He plans to spend a night in Philadelphia (because New York is too expensive for did-you-know-he’s-poor Eric) before road tripping to Wisconsin. Please. There’s no way that is cheaper than flying directly to a Baraboo-adjacent airport. I’m already over these faking fraudsters. Leida tells Eric her family is talking about him in Bahasa. He seems equal parts shocked and hurt when they say he looks old. Really, girl? Really?

At a lovely Airbnb in Wisconsin, Eric’s confused parents, youngest daughter and (gasp) ex-wife greet Leida’s equally confused family. They stare across the room at each other, fully aware Eric and Leida’s folie à deux will take them all down. Leida’s family tries to convince us her BA-equivalent degree makes her a doctor and I’m grateful for the comedic break. Leida, desperate for drama, whines. First she has issue with Tania. Then she complains about the older girls working instead of welcoming their new step-mommy. Her family ignores her, as they’ve done many times before. Eric mumbles and grumbles. Can we please end this frightfest of a welcome home party already? I want to claw my eyeballs out.

In further adventures of Rich Girl/Poor Boy, Eric brings Leida home. She’s obnoxious in the hallway. Oh, honey. Save some of that soap opera acting for the apartment. You’re going to need it. Eric pretends the trash pit he calls home is Tasha’s fault. While I’m sure it’s not easy living with a teenager (just ask Jonathan), this mess has TLC’s fingerprints all over it. As Leida tours the apartment, I have to cry foul. There’s no way Eric lives like that. A single bed with one faded sheet. Stained carpet. An inflatable couch? It’s as bad as Peter’s apartment on Vanderpump Rules (and that’s a scary comparison). Leida has a totally unexpected and unplanned explosion. Tears. Anger. Frustration. Ever on brand, she tries to turn her sadness into a maid negotiation. She can’t do it alone. It’s not even her mess! Eric promises, through gritted teeth, “It’s going to work out.” Sure, Jan.

Next week: Jonathan and Fernanda continue their fight; Colt has a surprise for Larissa; Jay feels uncomfortable at Ashley’s local market; Kalani and Asuelu move to Utah; Leida questions coming to America; Olga has complications while in labor.

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Filed Under: 90 Day Fiancé, Entertainment News Tagged With: 90 Day Fiancé, Ashley, ASUELU, COLT, ERIC, FERNANDA, International Dating, JAY, Jonathan, K1 Visa, Kalani, LARISSA, LEIDA, OLGA, STEVEN, TLC

About The Lady Cocotte

Comments

  1. Betsey LaFoy says

    November 13, 2018 at 10:22 am

    You write the funniest recaps!! Thank you.

    I’m sorry but Leida needs to run for the hills. I don’t particularly like her, but homegirl is in for a depressing life!

    Am I the only one who is team Larissa? Gold digger or not, she makes me laugh…and Colt’s family relationship is unsettling to say the least.

    Fernanda is also just plain awesome. Can’t stand what’s-his-face-douche-nozzle-wanna-be-Jax.

    Asuelu is adorable.

    Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      November 13, 2018 at 4:20 pm

      Thanks so much. I also have a soft spot for Larissa. She doesn’t hide who (or what) she is. And that Brazilian accent is the best. Coltee…

      Reply
  2. Moo2 says

    November 13, 2018 at 11:46 am

    This is the trashiest show on tv and I love it…what most of these scammers errr, I mean foreigners, subject themselves to in exchange for a taste of life in the land of milk and honey is laughable. Miserably inadequate Americans desperate for sex errr, I mean love, are bringing the scammers over here and it makes for pure entertainment watching what dumb and dumber will do next. Where does TLC find these people????

    Reply
    • Rmicu says

      November 13, 2018 at 5:21 pm

      Perfect description of all parties involved. I can’t quit this show.

      Reply
  3. Bea Squared says

    November 13, 2018 at 2:58 pm

    Haha, yes! 3 people in Coltee and Larisa’s relationship don’t forget Momma Coltee!

    Momma Coltee said on the Live show that Coltee’s had ‘about 4’ girlfriends. Eww what?!! Mom, the 3 cats and you DON’T count.

    Reply
    • JeepGirl15 says

      November 14, 2018 at 7:01 pm

      Lolol! Especially since his cousin and wife had never met the serious girlfriends! Cats don’t count!!

      Reply
  4. Kelnlola says

    November 13, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    I love Olga and Steven. I have a feeling Nat was trying to sell stories about Ashley. At least I’m hoping that’s why Ashley dumped her, not just bc Jay wanted her to. Cannot stand Leida or Eric. Too much cringe. And not in a funny way, but in a want to stab myself with an ice pick truly truly depressing af way.

    You hit the nail on the head saying Jonathan loves a jealous Fernanda. There’s a lot of patheticness and danger in that scenario.

    Love that this show is being recapped. Thank you Lady Cocotte (everytime I read your name, I try to pronounce it. Is it cuh-cot?) And I can’t wait to see Tamaras comments. Loving that she’s watching this gem.

    Reply
    • Vickie80 says

      November 13, 2018 at 5:43 pm

      You are right Kelnlola, Nat has been selling / spreading stories about Ashley. I didn’t like Ash to start with but after reading what she’s been through, I’m on her side and I hope Jay doesn’t hurt her.

      Loving jailbird Larissa and Jealous Fernanda.

      Reply
      • The Lady Cocotte says

        November 13, 2018 at 6:39 pm

        Everything about Ashley’s story makes me sad. Her horrible trauma at 19. Her choice in men. The meltdown with Natalie. I really hope she’s not the one who sold the stories. I don’t know why I care so much. Ugh. I think I still have ptsd from Bethenny/Carole.

        Reply
        • LaLaFly says

          November 13, 2018 at 8:17 pm

          I love you for this post! I am also suffering PTSD over Carole and Bethenny! lol

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            November 15, 2018 at 7:25 pm

            Why are y’all on the Ashley train again? Because I missed that train. She went to Jamaica and brought back a boy who has already cheated on her. This will not end well and she should know better.

            Reply
            • The Lady Cocotte says

              November 16, 2018 at 4:31 pm

              Tamara, it recently came to light that Ashley was abducted and raped at 19. She managed to escape before he killed her but it was brutal. To make matters worse, she claims a former friend (probably Natalie) tried to sell the story to the tabloids. Now we have a hard time mocking her. It’s not as funny when you understand the motivations behind her horrible decisions.

  5. tamaratattles says

    November 14, 2018 at 6:21 pm

    I am waiting to read this until I can watch the show! I watch On Demand and the episode isn’t up STILL! UGH.

    Reply
  6. tamaratattles says

    November 15, 2018 at 7:11 pm

    Apologies in advance for being THAT person that comments without reading the post or comments yet. I am watching now and it is such a long show I will forget half the things I want to say if I don’t start comments while I watch.

    That $1299 leather couch group is a steal. That said, this chick is not going to be around for long and shouldn’t be picking the furniture.

    I can’t believe that the Wisconsin dude drove the whole damn family 15 hours to Wisconsin. Why didn’t the family just fly the whole way? The whole Indonesian invasion is very awkward. That little boy seems to be the only one that really likes Eric. How the hell does Eric think he will be able to keep the family away from his crappy apartment?

    Ashley is annoying and her former friend is even more annoying.

    I hate the way Alani? says Samoa. The Samoan guy doesn’t say it like that. Koloni is annoying AF.

    There are too many couples on this show. They should have made two seasons with these couples and one hour shows.

    Doesn’t the Russian girl have a mother? I terrified for her hospital situation.

    Looks like they are going to arrest the Mexican Girl? This is getting good. Okay, off to read the post now.

    Reply
    • BeeSmart says

      November 15, 2018 at 8:02 pm

      I think the Russian girl grew up in an orphanage. She said something along those lines

      Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      November 16, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      < this chick is not going to be around for long and shouldn’t be picking the furniture You slay me.

      Reply
  7. tamaratattles says

    November 15, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    My favorite person on the show is Fernanda. I don’t understand why Jonathan needed to go to Mexico to bring back a child bride. He seems to have a decent income, he’s attractive, he’s a good um…dancer… sure he is a bit Jaxish, but he should be able to get married where he is if that is what he wants to do.

    Fernanda got the best of the bunch. He had me a bacon wrapped scallops and sea bass.

    Reply
  8. Donna says

    November 19, 2018 at 7:37 am

    I have only one comment “RUN OLGA RUN”

    Reply
  9. tamaratattles says

    November 24, 2018 at 3:04 am

    I just got caught up on the beginning of this episode. I love the American kid with the Russian baby. Sure he has no idea WTF he is doing and is a bit short tempered, but does anyone at that age know what they were doing? And that was a huge baby. About nine pounds almost twice as big as Kenya’s baby. But not as big as me. I think I was a ten pounder. lol. I know these two stupid kids are pretty much strangers who made a baby by accident, I really want them to make it, ‘

    I don’t understand why he didn’t just fly her to the US to have the baby in the first place.

    Our Samoan favorite is really a fish out of water who doesn’t understand the American laws about car seats and stuff. It wasn’t that long ago that kids were thrown loose into the back of the station wagon with no seat belts. You can’t really blame him.

    Reply
    • Betsey LaFoy says

      November 24, 2018 at 7:05 am

      Yes! I think that Kahlani overreacted with the car seat saga. All she had to do was pull over carefully and calmly explain the law to Asuelu. He was just doing what he thought was good parenting.

      The couple in Russia seem like there is already trouble in paradise. Did you catch that little hissy fit the young man was throwing (can’t rememeber his name). The poor girl had just gone through a c-section…if she was being a bitch, then deal with it! She just birthed a child, she has every right to be moody lol. Yikes!

      Reply

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