Another season of this nonsense has finally come to an end. This was literally one of the worst seasons ever. It really needs to be the last one, but I don’t think it will be. There is always a mix of fake relationships like Kim and Wynn and Aubrey and Paulie thrown in with other couples who may or may not even still be together at the time of filming. But tonight is decision night.
After a fake scene where the girls hear the guys bragging about what a great time they had on girls night out we get to my favorite part of these shows. Anytime a producer is on camera? Something huge is happening. In this case it is Chris trying to get production not to show the results of Desiree’s lie detector test on the show. Desiree failed the lie detector when she said that her husband Chris was her first choice to marry on The Bachelorette. Oddly she is still friends with her first choice and Chris hangs out with both of them.
First up is Ernest and Mama D. They choose to stay together. Kim and Wynn of course split up, because they were never together. Wait, the both put rings in their box. Despite you know, not having rings, or a relationship. Wynn says he wants to have sex with her basically. Kim says she is down for that. They have an awkward old people kiss. I know, I know I am always chastising you guys for saying older people should not wear this or do that. But this was the kind of kiss your great great grand pappy gives your great great grandmother. Their lips don’t even match up. He’s smashing her upper lip and she is smashing his chin and both mouths are so closed you could not stick a piece of straw between their lips. How old are they? This makes them both look about 104. Dr. Ish says, “Have you ever seen a more awkward kiss?” No Dr. Ish, there has never been a more awkward kiss.
Puma and Quani are up next. Quani seems to have a baby bump. I googled first to see if she was pregnant because would hate to say that if she was not pregnant but she is. The problem is, Puma’s ring box is empty! Puma, what are you trying to pull now? Oh Lord, she stormed off and he was joking with her. Not funny Puma.
Chris and Desiree are next. I thought we were going to see Brooks on the show. Chris is creepy. He gives Desiree four red roses. I think she is might be creepier. She does a whole will you accept the rose kind of deal. These two…
And clearly Aubrey negotiated her contract to be the final couple. The whole thing is ridiculous. Aubrey has “his ring” in her box but it’s a “ring on a string.” Someone watches too much Vanderpump Rules. So the box wasn’t empty but she also didn’t give him the ring. It’s very Tom Schwartz. Paulie’s box is empty. I hate how Dr. V always speaks like she is announcing a golf game or in a porno or something. I think this may be my last season of this crap.
In the updates, nothing changed for Mama D and Ernest, he’s still a Mama’s boy. Shockingly Kim and Wynn did not work out. The Bacherlorette fakery continues as usual. Desiree is having their second child in January. Quani is due in February.
In the producers updates, we learn that Mama D and Ernest have separated again. There was supposed to be a clip of Kim lying on her lie detector and the lengths she went to do so, but it was not shown.
I think everyone should stop watching this show. It’s the biggest bunch of trickery on TV today, complete with a bunch of has-beens and never-weres. I have no idea who most of them are, and it seems like anyone who’s willing to get up there and pretend to have a relationship with problems will be accepted for the show. Best example – Kim Richards. She should be embarrassed to be associated with anything like this. She has had a legitimate career in film and to resort to this is sad to see. Can’t she find a real job? She has enough connections, and there should be something she can do.
I won’t watch if there’s a new season and have only watched this one intermittently. My standards are pretty low when it comes to “reality” tv – it takes a lot to make me stop watching – but this show has succeeded in sinking to heretofore unknown depths that even I can’t accept.
I only read the recaps here, don’t watch. I think I did watch the dunking episode because the recap was so great. Did not know Desiree and hubby were on. I only remember her name, not the “winner.” What a bogus shiteshow of a show.
Thanks for the recap!! I’ve been traveling again so was about 4 episodes behind. Got caught up yesterday. So happy to see Paulie D decide he could no longer accept Aubrey’s drama.
I know it’s a hokey joke of a show but I still watch.
The problem with this show is that it’s outdated by the time it airs. For example, PaulyD and Aubrey haven’t been together for awhile. Last year Amber wasn’t only not with Matt anymore but she was pregnant with Andrew’s kid (who she met in the house while filming) by the time it aired.
I do enjoy this show though, I know it’s fake and all but it’s entertaining at least.
Yes it’s so weird …many times once the show airs they are completely at a completely different stage of their life …and it makes it seeing faker than it normally does… I think this show jumped the shark after Jim & Carol left.. I like the doctors but they definitely don’t have the same energy for this show that Jim and Carol had… Maybe the show was moving In that direction and that’s why they got new life? I don’t know but it definitely didn’t seem to help.. And judge Toler is an absolute joke.
At time point I am wondering how we ever thought Judge Toler was not a joke. WTF happened to her?