We start with Vicki and her boyfriend having a co-cola in her beautiful backyard. It really is pretty. Vicki catches Steve up with all of the drama that happened in Jamaica. Then she lies her ass off to him claiming she hardly drank at all in Jamaica. She was never without a drink in her hand. She wasn’t supposed to drink because she is about to go in for a lower face and neck lift. Shannon is getting her eyes done the same day. Steve says this needs to be her last plastic surgery. Also, Vicki has some sort of a brain tumor that she has had since childhood. That explains a lot.
Eddie tells Tamra that Shannon is sucking her dry. Shannon is an emotional vampire. Eddie is going to try a new cardiologist. When the got up to go inside, Eddie got really dizzy, Tamra didn’t notice.
I do not want to recap this couples therapy with Emily and Shane. Especially since it is about her miscarriages and his desire not to have more children.
It’s surgery day and both women sign their consent forms and talking about DNRs and living wills. I do not understand why people do this. If planet Earth hangs in for another century I swear this part of history will be talking about people slicing up their faces and injecting cement into their butt cheeks and pondering what on Earth made that seem like a good thing to do. Vicki has to take some sort of steroid that makes her lady garden feel like it is on fire. And yet, she persisted. My God at the cutting marks on Vicki’s face.
Over at Shannon’s surgery, she is having toothpicks stuck in her eyes. I am not enjoying this episode. Vicki’s surgery took five hours.
Spencer is 18 years old and can officially consent to being filmed without his father’s permission. Tamra is throwing a small family birthday party for him so he can get some TV time. Spencer is a good kid who doesn’t drink, no tattoos, quiet and introverted. Perhaps he was switched at birth at the hospital.
Gina and Kelly go to visit Shannon. Where are the other amigas? Kelly brought take out and Gina read online that she needs to sit up so she brought what I have always referred to as a “husband.” It a pillow with arms that you sit back on. Gina was very thoughtful with her gift. Oh, it looks like Tamra came over a couple of hours earlier. It is interesting that Gina has been assigned the bone collector role this season. That can either be a good thing or a bad thing. Gina tells Shannon that on the day she hid out in Jamaica there was a lot of discussion about her mental health. Kelly jumps into the middle to back the bus up over Tamra a few times.
For some reason, Vicki says her doctor doesn’t want her going home after surgery so she is going to recover in a hotel suite. Maybe the doctor just wants to keep her away from work and the phone for a few days.
The girls who didn’t get their faces carved up this week go to a beautiful bar on the ocean to fight. Gina doesn’t realize she is walking into the lion’s den until Tamra doesn’t hug her. Gina gives a version of the truth that focuses on her concern for Shannon and not so much the pot stirring tone of her message. Tamra comes for Gina anyway and is pissed that she would make it seem like Tamra was being a bad friend. Kelly has made a couple of minor comments about Shannon not saying negative things about Tamra. Which is interesting because Kelly threw Tamra under the bus way worse than Gina did. Before Gina and Kelly left Shannon’s. Shannon talked to Gina again and said something about all of these conversations are going to cause her to lose custody of her kids. Sounds like Shannon was angry about it off camera. I have a feeling that Shannon had the talk about the custody issues with Tamra on the phone. Shannon probably blamed Tamra. Again, how is Kelly sitting there looking all Rosey The Riveter slyly sucking down her drink through all of this?
Next week Michael shows up again. Tamra blows off Gina’s birthday party. The Tres Amigas have an old lady party.