It seems like a really long time to me since RHOA has been on the air. I mean Kenya has managed to have a baby in between the reunion and the premiere. While I am sad that Kenya was not able to get a respectable contract for this season, I am glad she was not filming during her pregnancy. She’s 47 years old and having a baby. There were so many risk factors for her. I’m just so happy that the baby is here and doing well. The other good news is that there will be no Sheree or Kim this season. We are not even going to get the joggers! LOL.
And so it begins… We start with Porsha who is engaged to Dennis McKinley. Here’s the thing, he has a shady past and to be honest until this little scene started I have never seen any emotion between these two. Porsha looks like she is being held hostage by this guy in most of the photos she posts. I think this is some good acting going on right here. Dennis says he has all of these businesses but the streets say something totally different. I’m not sure what to believe at this point.
We are four minutes in before we get the taglines. Um, what did y’all think of them?
Brown Jewelers is getting one hell of an advertisement in exchange for giving Porsha the ring Dennis claims he is buying from his hot dog business. I feel like I know who owns The Original Hot Dog Factory and it’s not Dennis. But my mind is bad these days so don’t take that as gospel. I don’t feel like Googling it. These two told each other they loved each other on the first night they met. That doesn’t sound like she was targeted by this dude at all.
Gregg has stage three colon cancer. I am not going to like this story line at all. Nene is trying to drag the poor guy downstairs to film with a bunch of people. He can barely sit up. They took out most of his colon. Nene is arguing over how much of his colon was removed. Gregg is cracking jokes. This is just so sad. They are having a prayer vigil for Gregg. I can’t watch Gregg cry. This is heartbreaking. Gregg was recently back in the hospital for an extensive surgery after this was filmed.
On a lighter note, Cynthia has a new man playing the role of her boyfriend this season. Steve Harvey did the casting and went with Mike Hill, a sportscaster. Noelle met Mike when she came home early and he was there doing his thing with Cynthia.
Eva takes her fiance and her two kids to get professional family photos. Eva also does some modeling photos. OH NOE SHE DID NOT! She just said, “The difference between my modeling style and Cynthia’s is I think about twenty years.” This bitch better not.
Nene and Porsha both have personal assistants this season. It’s hysterical. At least Nene’s isn’t that fool that changed his last name to Maloof because he was a super fan of Adrienne before he lodged himself up Nene’s behind. Also, the boutique that Nene claims is hers is being featured this season. Those foolish Bravo suits have given Nene a Most Favored Nation Clause, $100K per episode and now she gets to advertise “her store” this season. What the hell is wrong with Bravo?
Y’all I am tryna be kind to Nene because she is going through A LOT but we have to talk about this talking head look. She done gone to Nick Cannon’s closet and stole all his turbans. It’s worse than that one scarecrow look she wore that one year. Girl, I know you are stressed out but please, hire you SOMEBODY that will stop you from this kind of shit right here.
I grew up at a time when you asked “Do these pants make my butt look big?” And the correct answer was NO. I find it hard to believe any man on earth likes that giant ass. Calling someone a fatass used to be an insult for fucksake. WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD?
Kandi and her family and crew are all in LA for … The BET awards maybe? Anyway, everyone is at dinner. Riley looks great after her weight loss. Sadly, she has gained it all back by sewing have the hair of Thailand onto her head. Kandi, speak with the girl. You know this ain’t right. Kandi wants more babies. She has two embryos in the freezer. The girls say that Kandi doesn’t have time for kids anymore. Todd spends a lot of time with Ace. Riley says that the money doesn’t matter if the parents are never around.
Porsha’s “assistant” is dumb and annoying. Birds of a feather, I guess.
OMG! Suddenly Sheree popped up in a flashback. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh it’s ASCAP awards that Kandi’s crew is in town for. And she took Ace who should have been in bed hours ago, especially with the time difference. Don Juan is on baby duty with Ace. Xscape won the Golden Note Award.
Meanwhile, the girls are headed to Miami to support the Most Favored Nation at her comedy show. I mean, the suits are really bending over bassackwards to accommodate this one. And they will go to her pop up shop and pretend like it is a thing. (Blind Item Reveal).
Anyway, it’s also Porsha’s birthday and she is expecting an engagement ring in Miami. On the way to the airport, on episode one, production shows us the shadiness that is Dennis. Porsha tells Dennis she is not on good terms with Kandi and Marlo. He doesn’t know Marlo but he knows Kandi. He’s sketchy about how he knows her. He says he goes to OLG once a week because he lives right across the street. That is interesting, I’ve always heard that OLG is not in exactly the best area. Porsha doesn’t believe the OLG cover story either. The scene ends with a voice that sounds like a car navigator saying, “Hazard reported ahead.” Girl, even production knows about this man.
When they get to the hotel, the romantic proposal stage is set. There is a private chef and rose petals everywhere. Then he presents her with a box. They are acting like it is the ring, but that ain’t no ring box.
To be continued…
I cannot even believe that next week Nene drags Gregg’s ass to Miami.