Every week when I hear the theme song for this show, I’m shocked that it has gone on this long. Shrug, I guess we should expect this from the Misogyny Channel.
It’s two days before the wedding and Tommy and MJ are off to see a therapist. Someone needs to tell Tommy that he is marrying an Iranian who speaks Farsi. Not a Persian who speaks Persian. “Persians” have never called Iran Persia. That was what other countries called the region. When Iranians fled to the US and other countries they began using the term Persian to avoid the backlash often associated with being Iranian in the US and other countries.
Anyway, these two are talking about the way that Vida has taken over the wedding and made changes to MJ’s wedding dress and MJ just lets her do it. I do not believe any of this. They also want Vida to finally give her blessing regarding the wedding. The therapist says they need to ask Vida to give her blessing. They decide to do it at the rehearsal dinner. It literally can’t get any more last minute than that.
Destiney and Reza meet for lunch to talk about the mysterious life of her father. The PI arrives and tells Destiney that her father is not in the US. The PI and Reza both think his father has another family somewhere else.
Mike films with his mother at a nice restaurant. They argue over club sandwiches about moving forward with the renovations of the new property rather than just selling it. His mom just wants the brothers to all get along.
Reza and Adam go to meet with Reza’s hair care partners. They drink out of glasses with a heavy gold rim. I used to have cobalt blue ones like that with the gold rim. One day one of the goblets just sort of randomly exploded and jumped off the top of the counter it was on when I walked into the kitchen. I instinctively tried to catch it not realizing it was already broken and had to go to the hospital and get stitches. I’m not much of a fan of those anymore.
It looks like an all cast party as everyone shows up to ooh and ahh about some haircare bottles that probably just have water in them. All anyone cares about is the house. Literally nothing happens in most of the scenes on this show.
Why in the hell are Reza, Tommy and Adam choosing the wedding cake? Also, I’m quite sure they didn’t pick out the cake the day before the wedding. The oddball non-linear editing of this show is disruptive to the viewer.
Only Mercedeh would get a blood facial the day before the wedding. I totally believe she did this. Shannon had about eleventy billion things done to her before the Orange County reunion. Wait, first MJ said it was the day before the wedding and then said it was “a few days away.” Even the people on the show can’t follow the damn timeline. Ramona did this just before the RHONY trip to Mexico to taste tequila. That said, this is one housewives procedure I might be interested in doing. And also the one that melts chin fat. I don’t need that one just yet, but I see that day coming.
GG shot some sort of ad for her pot products. This is something that is really happening now. The whole “working thing” seems to be overwhelming her.
Nema goes to buy his first gold piece of jewelry. Reza and I both feel bad for Nema’s delayed opportunities to wear gold. I should probably stop ragging on Reza because he gets his gold at a damn good price. Actually, I need to sell off the gold I have. I am really wanting to just sell all my shit and leave the country. I’m a nomad at heart and I think a lot of my depression issues come from being stuck in one place. It’s weird, going to the grocery store gives me anxiety, flying off to some exotic locale does not. The only thing is, all the things necessary to prepare to fly off somewhere does give me anxiety. And the last time I went somewhere I was super nervous because their was a bombing a few weeks before. But the second my suitcase was in the limo and I was on my way to the Delta Sky Lounge? I was in heaven,
Nema’s gold chain is ridiculous tiny. I actually have an 18 carat gold rope chain in my safety deposit box. I stopped wearing it decades ago because the rappers started wearing them. NTTAWWT it’s just a woman of a certain age looks a bit silly wearing a gold rope chain. I should see if Cardi B wants to buy some stuff from me. She and her brood of pit bull puppies don’t live that far away. Reza says he’s happy Nema got the chain he had when he was sixteen. Reza needs to buy Nema some grown up jewelry.
It’s REALLY the night before the wedding and time for the rehearsal dinner. In the real world, this would happen after a REHEARSAL but since Tommy’s east coast friends are arriving late they decide to just do a dinner and wing the wedding. I really don’t understand rehearsals anyway. Everyone knows how it goes. There just needs to be someone to tell people when to walk down the aisle.
Tommy’s family makes me so happy. He emancipated himself from his parents and “adopted” a new family. Vida gives MJ her blessing regarding her marriage to Tommy. Vida LOVES Tommy. MJ says that Tommy and Vida are closer than she is with them sometimes. Tommy and Vida actually hang out without MJ.
After the dinner, MJ went to a hotel with her BFF and maid of honor. MJ still hasn’t seen the final look of her dress. No worries. It’s one of the prettiest dresses ever. Oh, also, MJ has not written her vows. Then she stalls and wants to go get her dogs and take a swim in her pool.
Next week, it’s the finale and MJ’s wedding day. She’s late and Tommy is drunk.