Before we get started, Caroline went off on several twitter rants over the past couple of days regarding Kate. Then she imploded her Twitter account. Or did she. She said some things that have been said before about Kate that might have violated the non-disclosure part of her Bravo contract. Bravo could have cut her off. It’s okay though. I saved the juicy bits for you all here.
Caroline wakes up the morning after the crew went out and got wasted and then her fellow stews started to trash talk her with a mysterious foot injury. God my sentence structure continues to decline and I don’t really care. I am allergic to night time lately and my sinuses are driving me nuts and I’m focusing on trying to breathe. Kate and Josiah claim not to remember what they said the night before because they were drunk. I believe them. And frankly Kate is right, they are on a boat shooting the shit on their night off about the people they are cooped up with in a cramped space for six weeks straight. I get it.
Chandler still doesn’t get what a fuckup he is so he calls his dad. Rhylee still doesn’t understand chain of command. And even more importantly, she doesn’t understand how this reality show works. Don’t come for Kate. It never works out well. Then Rhylee makes a smartass comment to Kate on the radio. Captain Lee hears all of that. GIRL, YOU IN DANGER!
Ashton tries to give Rhylee a heads up about Kate in the nicest possible way. He points out the chain of command. Rhylee wants to know his friendly advice for the way Kate talks to her. Oh, this one is going home with Caroline. In fact, she may go first. Despite blowing off Ashton’s apology at first, Rhylee later took some time to herself to think about it. Then she apologized to Kate. Meanwhile, Caroline had her foot amputated and will be back on service in four hours when the pain meds kick in. Or something. I wasn’t really paying attention. Oh wait. It was a mosquito bite.
HOW MUCH IS CORE WATER PAYING FOR THIS SHAMELESS PROMOTION? I’m drowning in all the CORE water being shoved in my fat face. Breathing is hard enough without this shit!
Chandler’s meeting with the deckhands, that they requested, was basically, “the people want to do excursions so somebody should probably packs some coolers. I’m starving. Let’s take a break.”
As for the guests, I haven’t seen the movie Crazy Rich Asians, but I feel like they saw it and decided to fake it til they make it. They were annoying as fuck from the moment they hit the deck. As Josiah said, “I’m already over it.” Captain Lee asks Kate for her first impression. She says, “high maintenance.” I would have gone with, “obnoxious,” but okay.
Ashton has been this incredible voice of reason on this episode which makes him way more attractive now. I love how Chef always explains his own dishes to the guests.
Ah, now I get why we are in Polynesia. We are going to Mo’orea where many a “housewives” brawl has taken place. It’s where production takes all of the obnoxious people.
Kate’s talking heads start to get very critical of Caroline. I feel like these were probably filmed well after all the drama with them went down. It’s clearly filmed back on land with a green screen.
The Asians want smoothies in the master cabin. They are naked. Kate is acting like it’s the first time she’s ever seen a naked passenger. And he is behind the door! And was likely instructed to order them by production.
Captain Lee is finally ready to go apeshit on Chandler. For some reason the deck crew changed their channel off the one rest of the ship is using. But Captain Lee head his cool. I didn’t even see his tell, two fingers on the side of his face letting me know he is not happy.
Caroline on the other hand is starting to get the montage of ugly edits. This is what happens when you bring up Kate’s drinking Caroline. I mean it could have been so much worse. Chandler is also getting the treatment from production. He probably stuck up for her at some point.
Kate continues to make inappropriate requests of Ashton. He needs his own #metoo movement. He’s trying to go to bed and Kate tells hims to get naked, throw on some leis and dance for the guests. This just blows my mind. Then Caroline asks Ashton to come clean the crew mess. I don’t understand the issue with the crew mess, I thought the deckhands have always done this. This new calendar thing seems odd to me. Or maybe the interior did it. It’s just never been this much of a clusterfuck.
The Asian dude leaves a tiny used condom on the nightstand for Caroline to clean up. That HAD TO BE PRODUCTION.
The guests don’t even look up when half-naked Ashton walks in, because CELLPHONES.
Chandler, who has been in bed for hours is woken up by Rhylee to be informed about the fishing trip production has scheduled early the next morning. He says he is taking Ashton and not, you know the captain of an Alaskan fishing boat. Ashton is pissed.
Next time, Caroline’s amputated leg has lots of phantom pain and she has to go back to the doctor. Captain Lee finally gets real with Chandler. Kate is over Caroline.