I feel bad that Emily is my favorite new housewife because all of the housewives I like in their first seasons go home because they are “too boring.” Emily is a bit younger than the other women, well-educated, a mother, a wife, a party planner, and filming a reality show. As Shannon would say, she has a lot on her plate. Yet she is polite, doesn’t drink to excess, doesn’t scream at people, and tries to keep the peace and is open to be friends with all of the ladies.
Oh and I also think I realize why we all want to call her Gina. She looks a little bit like Jeana Keough from the early seasons. I think she reminds me just enough of Jeana for my brain to decide she is Gina. Maybe. Let’s check out her blog this week:
I was looking forward to dinner at the Sugar Mill in Jamaica. I anticipated a fun night of food, drinks and girl time, so I was surprised by how quickly the night turned into a nightmare.
Aw, those sweet pure first season expectations…
First of all, I think it’s extremely rude when someone shows up at a dinner so late. I’ve dealt with this issue for most of my life, and it hits a nerve with me when someone is continuously late. It says, “my time is more important than yours.” But Shannon has her own time agenda.
You would have hated Carole Radziwill.
Secondly, once Shannon and Vicki did arrive, I was shocked to see that Shannon was mocking our conversation and making rude comments under her breath about how boring the night was. I suppose learning of her home selling is more “riveting” dinnertime conversation. Maybe she should always lead the dinner conversations since she has such “riveting” things to discuss, but first she has to at least show up on time.
In all fairness to Shannon, before you joined the show she had a plethora of riveting dinner topics. Let me try to recall them for you. There was that time in 2014 Vicki and Shannon and David went to Mexico and Vicki did all sorts of nice things for Shannon.
We begin with the Real Members of the AARP dancing on the bar in Mexico. Seriously, they are about 35 years to old for that nonsense. The next day, Vicki takes the Beadors horse back riding. Shannon complains. She goes out of her way to make a nice romantic lunch for just the Beadors. Shannon complains. Oh Shannon! Lighten up Francis you are on vacation! At lunch, Shannon can’t be in the moment and enjoy the beautiful setting on the river. Shannon cries and unloads on David. She says they don’t do anything together. They are spending time together NOW! And they are not enjoying the moment! It’s so sad. Shannon thinks that David wants a divorce. LINK
Wait. That was a bad example. She was having a bad year. Let’s look at 2015.
Shannon and Vicki have cocktails and dinner at Tortilla Republic in Laguna Beach. They definitely got the better scene. Shannon seems to think she should have gotten a call saying she is not invited to her party. Oh Shannon. Shannon cries. Shannon is just a mess this season due to the issues with David and someone needs to run interference for her with the cunt satchel. LINK
Nope sorry, still crying at dinners. In 2016 she was still crying about David but the trip to Ireland was a good distract as she used that time to get really drunk and attack Kelly mercilessly. Then there was this party in 2017:
Meanwhile, Shannon, the professional victim and reigning holder of the batshit crazy title, is railing on Lydia and Peggy about what a horrible person Vicki is and how she traumatized her and made her fat and caused her husband to have an affair and provided uranium to North Korea. Don’t they understand that Vicki ruined her entire life? LINK
I’m sorry. I lied. Shannon never has had decent dinner conversation.
Secondly, I thought Shannon’s reaction to Tamra bringing up the fact that she treats Gina and me poorly by not even acknowledging our existence was ridiculous. Her “time management” excuse is lame, especially when we are all on vacation and none of the things on her “full plate” are pressing matters right now.
She’s been eating the same full plate of shit, ever since she came on the show. She has problems putting down the fork and getting her shit together.
She’s not taking care of her children, going to court, or slinging microwaveable fish.
But, but, there is cream cheese in the microwaveable fish! Doesn’t that sound delicious?
Instead of just acknowledging that she doesn’t even give us the common courtesy of a “hello,” or “how are you,” she continues to dismiss anything anyone says to her, and she deflects from her own behavior by bringing up David and her divorce. Again, her behavior just demonstrates that she lacks any empathy or compassion for others. It was difficult listening to her in the bathroom talk about her divorce …again… Her reaction at the Sugar Mill was over the top, and in my opinion, unjustified.
Darling, we’ve been hearing about the affair, the vow renewal, the divorce, the court proceedings for five years now. IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. Run for the hills.
Lastly, I’m not sure what champagne has to do with anything?
Watch your glass. “At dinner, Shannon orders a tequila. Kelly doesn’t want one but Shannon orders one for Kelly and Vicki anyway. Shannon excuses herself and goes to the bar staff and asks them to make the three tequilas a double! What is she up to?” LINK
Also, count your blessings that Shannon ignores you. It is better than the alternative.
Oh how I love the purple pen!!! You are on point as per usual.
I knew she was whiney, miserable, and annoying, I just don’t think id thought about it enough to realize what a broken record she is-clearly, same shit, different year! It always amazes me that so many people, and Shannon as a shining example, literally have zero ability to watch themselves and not only see nothing wrong with themselves or their actions but cannot understand what others spell out to their faces. I’d be mortified if I’d behaved 1/100th as badly as Shannon and would be desperately trying to change my behavior and apologizing(….or running away and hiding in a cave forever!
I, now, also am liking the two new girls, and feel bad for saying earlier how boring/annoying they were(-a little like some people on their show! Oops!).
Shannon I beyond help!!!! Get rid of her!!!
Yup, I really like Emily. And her hubby. I don’t know why Tamara seems to diss her on interviews. she may be too reasonable for her.
I like Gina too. She seems levelheaded (maybe she has a GINORMOUS HIPPOCAMPUS!) and kind.
I have been trying really hard to remember why I liked Shannon so much before last season. Perhaps it was my longtime love affair with I. Magnin, a lovely jewelbox of a store. Or that photo of her riding Western instead of English. Or the how much I like and admire her girls. And she has good grammar and says “quash” instead of “squash” a rumor. AND when she IS FUNNY, SHE IS REALLY FUNNY.
But the last two seasons have OVERSHADOWED all that. I do believe that the back and forth with David has left her emotionally exhausted. I don’t know if the passive-aggressive behavior with David was in reaction to his affair, because she found out about it shortly before we “met” her. And I had great sympathy for her at Lizzy’s beach house dinner party when Tamra LIED about saying the Dubrows vowed to “take down the Beadors.” Heather and Terry vehemently denied ever saying that, and I believed them. Then Vicki admitted that Tamra had told her the same thing. And gaslighter Tamra ground into high gear implying that Shannon was crazy. NOTHING is worse than someone trying to make you think that you are crazy and everyone else believing it. I think it is a case of “fool me THRICE shame on me” with Terrible Tamra. She is a nasty piece of work alright. Hiding behind a Christian fish. Shannon needs to shed another 120 pounds — of twattiness, aka Tamra.
To clarify: Vicki admitted in her ITM interview that Tamra had told her that the Dubrows planned to “take down the Beadors.” (As if the Dubrows are living Thug Life.) Vicki did NOT admit it to Shannon or anyone else at the dinner table — leaving Shannon twisting in the wind like a delusional screeching harridan. If Shannon has watched that episode, she should know that Tamra is a lowlife liar. (I wish someone would TAKE DOWN Tamra Judge.)
And if I ever write something hateful and misspell Mrs. Judge’s name with a third A, please know it is a typo, not about “our” Tamara.
I 100% agree with yout Tamra comments. All the way back to Gretchen, she has been able to do horrible things to the others and never seems to get held accountable at all.
She has no storyline again this year/
”She has no storyline again this year/ ”
If worse comes worst Tamra might poison Eddy for a widow story line…..no wait, that’s not good enough….what she might do is give him a real heart attack using her rock hard body in a wild sex coupling.
Then she can be the both the ultimate sexual figure and the widow grieving that the wonderfulness of her body was the cause of her poor beloved husbands demise.
In what universe is this shit appropriate?
Am I just drunk? I mean I am drunk but this shit annoys me.
Forgive me. My dislike of Tamar got the best of me.
I am in the same position regarding Shannon. I used to like her! I loved her no cell phone thing (I’m the same way) and the feng shui and the crystals in the walls of her house and all the whacky stuff.
Then she realized her husband had checked out years ago and lost her shit and been unable to gather it.
In other news QUASH is the correct word, not squash.
Possibly because quash is a word used in the law.
I love Emily and I love Gina. This blog really got me to see things clearer. THANK YOU.
I love Gina because she is doing what I wish i did in my marriage. I married so young and I fought and hung in there trying to make things better for about 10 years too long. It was horrible, I wish I had gotten out when I was a little younger.
Emily also can hold her own in a bikini next to OC women. Not body shaming either side; just noting that Emily looks damn good. I’m going on a cruise next week and wish I could have the figure and courage to rock an all white bikini while sitting next to my surgically enhanced sister in law and my 5 month pregnant sister who likely still weighs less than me and then there is my 21 year old daughter who ordered 5 new bikinis online – didn’t even need to try them on and they fit perfect.
Noelle – just do it. I swear to you, it will be ok. I know it is hard – but after my last cruise, I decided to fake it until I make it.
I don’t fit in most swimsuits… fuckballs, most places don’t carry my size (22 to 24) and Lane Bryant? Their built in bra situations are the most uncomfortable (even at my skinniest/healthy bmi, my tits are big). But I did my first cruise 2 years ago. I have two piece swim outfits (shorts and a tank top) from Lands End. It might be out of season to order, but please figure something out so that you can enjoy yourself comfortably on a cruise.
I am so happy and proud of myself that I splurged on the suits that fit AND that we bought the week long spa pass. (It was a cruise to Alaska). It was really international, and in the spa there were lots of body sizes, hardly any model types, and even a few Indian women in beautiful sari type outfits that didn’t speak English but who smiled and nodded at me and I them.
If I had avoided the spa situation I would have missed out on sitting in a dry sauna having conversations with women from all over, only to stop as we oohed over the sighting of a whale. I would have missed out going walking TO the spa in my swimsuit cover up and flip flops, having people not stare at me b/c of my size, but talking to me about “how are you not cold???? and asking me about Washington state (They were from Arizona and bundled up with newly bought Columbia jackets and blankets while outside on deck, watching their kids play in the heated pool. I was in my semi-transparent swim suit cover up, said swim shorts and tank, and flip flops – and I stopped to wait in line for an alcoholic beverage. I am from the Pacific Northwest, and it was practically balmy for me. It must have looked comical.)
It is an extremely rare person that can rock an all white bikini… but you can rock something in your own right.
Happy cruising!!!
Thanks for this, not going on vacation but your words hit home justwhen I needed to hear them.
Thanks Ladies! That was so encouraging. I was worried that I would end up in the WLS for my comment – but I don’t want to enjoy the moments and memories with my family without being self-conscious about my body! Thanks logging on to look at swimsuits now!
Wear it! Own your shit! I do and won’t ever stop owning it. There is nothing attractive about Tamara’s body. NOTHING! She works out and eats nothing but chicken. I eat and drink what I want and rock my shit while I own it! Everyone should do the same. You rock that cruise in your bikini !!
Brilliant purple pen. I’m neither for or against Emily, but I’m definitely for her blog!
I really like Emily too and I am slowly coming around to Gina. What did they call LVP, a snake from the side? I think that is Gina. She definitely threw Tamra under the bus and I loved it. I think if given time she could give Tamra a run for her money… of course I really hope that Emily is the one we’ve all been waiting for!!
Sniper from the side.
Yeah, sniper from the side☺
I like Emily and actually Shane too.. I thought he was hysterical when Kelly came crawling to their house to apologize. I think we saw a different side to him and IMO he wasn’t the one who interrupted into Kelly and Steve’s convo, Kelly came over to their table and interrupted their conversation then proceeds to do what she does best by spewing insults and name calling.
This post is spot on about Shannon. Her first season I liked her and felt sorry for the way Heather and others treated her but since her second season I quickly realized she was one of those people who can suck the air right out of the room when she enters. Great post TT and thank you because you nailed it…
Emily wins the day! Even if half the time I still think she’s called Gina.
“Slinging microwaveable fish” needs to be added to one of those ‘best one liners’ lists ????
TT, Thank you for my first huge laugh of the day. I love Purple Pen! And where did you come up with relating all Shannon’s past history to present day? 100% accurate. Brilliant, as nothing has changed. And you are 100% correct about Emily. As for that fake Christian Tamra? I’m not sure what kind of religion she practices, but she needs to either stop saying she’s a Christian while back-stabbing, gas-lighting, pot-stirring, contradicting herself, constantly showing off her breasts and being just plain evil or else tell us she got baptized and went to one Bible Study for the show since she obviously doesn’t have the willpower or guidance to become a good person.
So right on! TT and the mighty purple pen do it again! Thanks much.
This post was a much needed wake up call for me. She really never has been happy.
Loved Emily’s blog and loved the purple pen. I can’t stand Shannon’s selfish self absorbed behavior and her screeching! I used to think the marital problems were 100% David because I hate cheaters. Now I am starting to think he stayed for his girls and was just finding happiness where he could because she is THE MOST negative person I have ever seen.
Thinking back to when her daughters had a performance and all Shannon cared about was the fact her MiL was there. I remember thinking shut up, watch your daughters, and just enjoy this moment.
TT when you said ‘lighten up Francis, you’re on vacation’, was that a reference to Dirty Dancing? This whole post is another real materpiece.
Sgt. Hulka…”Stripes”. The way he says it is spot on in TT’s post. I heard what I imagine TT’s voice sounds like with Sgt. Hulka’s annoyance and delivery of the message. Much love for her purple pen!
I love Emily, she is proof you dont need to be an ass to be heard and you dont need to be falling down drunk to have a good time.
BEST RECAP EVER
I like Emily, too. Not sure about Gina.
But I still am entertained by Shannon.
Poor Gina! A real “Desperate Housewife”, her only story-line is that Shannon doesn’t like her.
Some fucking moron posted that Emily is 53 because she googled Emily Simpson and got some profile of some woman in Australia.
Then she posted crap about Shane that I am just not allowing here. LEAVE THE MAN ALONE. All he has done was remove a fucking drunk housewife from his house so his kids could sleep and then be verbally assaulted by Kelly at an event where he was quietly hanging out away from the drama with the husbands.
Back the fuck off Shane.
I loooveee this season of rhoc,and I like all the girls in the show this season ( even crazy Shannon and Tamra). They’ve been entertaining me so much. The two newbies seem to work well with the rest of the group, and the interactions have been fun to watch. I really like Emily and her family, and I especially like her relationship with her MIL. Somehow, I like Tamra this season, and I liked that when Gina and Kelly called her out, she owned that she’d been talking about Shannon. Shannon is a nut for sure, but every once in a while she says something that cracks me up. I don’t know why, but I love Vicki and always will. Kelly is great too. I’m just really enjoying all of them this season.
Bravo did well with the addition of the two new girls. Best newbies in all the franchises.