Apparently, last season’s random episode with behind the scenes pop-ups from the trip to Turkey was to give production more time to work on the two part reunion. From my standpoint it just sort of made me lose my place. And I liked the episode last week, and the series. But I’m really just not in the mood to watch and recap tonight. I’m either sick, or depressed or it’s the narcolepsy thing, I’m having a weird all day wine hangover after my first wine night in a month, but I feel all exhausted and blah and just want to curl up on the couch and flip over to Shondaland. I plan to do that right after this recap. So let’s do the damn thing.
You know who else isn’t feeling too well? The Shahs. The morning after their big Vegas night of debauchery. Mona is the only one who came home at a reasonable hour and showered and went to bed. Most of the rest of them are probably still a little bit drunk. Mike is still hurt that Reza betrayed his trust. I’m going to have to take Mike’s side on this. Reza totally broke Bro code.
Reza has flown Tommy out to surprise MJ who is still asleep at 2 pm. I’ve heard that this group is literally impossible to film before noon on a regular day in LA. None of them have jobs.
Everyone wakes up just in time for dinner and drinks. Reza and Mike are in an icy standoff and carefully avoiding each other. There is a huge party for MJ and Tommy at the club. Mike spends his time trying to get laid. His line,”I got big forearms” seems to be working for him in a way that makes me want to jerk a knot in the head of these idiot girls. If he said that to me, I’d probably drunkenly blurt out, “From jerking off?” This is why I am not good at dating.
There is something wrong with the chyrons that make it look like little ants are crawling all over the beds the next morning. Did post production not notice this? They must have to leave today because they all made it breakfast, drunk. I wish I had that breakfast buffet here in the ghetto shack. It’s making me hungry. Everyone is at breakfast except for Mike who apparently took his big forearms to some random girl’s room. Golnesa has video of Mike throwing money at random women and hitting on some girl. I don’t know why this is being made into such a big deal. Morgan has dumped him, he’s in Vegas, why can’t he take his big forearms to some girl’s place for the night? This video shows nothing. Mike hits on the girl at Starbucks harder than that.
Why is Reza all in Mike’s business. If he wants to be a whore, let him be a whore. Reza and Mike have a big blow up and Mike ends up crying in the bedroom. Reza tries to comfort him. Mike says he feels Reza betrayed his trust. Mike loses his shit talking about Jessica at a Tony Robbins conference calls him saying, “I AM ENOUGH” and he feels awful about losing her. Really? Are we going through this again? Duck it up, man. Now Reza is telling Mike he is a great person. Um, no. No he is not. Now Reza feels sorry for him. Mission accomplished. They leave Vegas with a big group hug.
This Golnesa pot business storyline is way overblown. There is no way Golnesa is doing anything other than investing in and being the face of the product. She’s never had a job in her life and she has no idea how to start a business. Nema has set up a pitch with some investors and he’s super nervous GG will blow it. Sherv is going for moral support. She’s high and her pitch is terrible. She tells them she has never had a job in her life. Then she asks for $327K for ten percent.
I am sort of interested in Destiney’s father who might be some sort of secret agent, or mafia guy or big time drug dealer or something. Her P.I. is still on the case.
I just saw a commercial for Dirty John. I’m looking forward to the show but probably won’t recap because some fucktards are already sending me spoilers. I’ve literally had to block people’s emails. Why do people feel the need to ruin shows for people?
MJ has a dress fitting. She is obsessed with her dress looking amazing. Spoiler alert! It did. Vida has a lot to say about MJ’s dress and none of it is great.
Next Week: MJ and Reza go to spread Shams’ ashes. Tommy and MJ fight over the prenup.