Apparently, last season’s random episode with behind the scenes pop-ups from the trip to Turkey was to give production more time to work on the two part reunion. From my standpoint it just sort of made me lose my place. And I liked the episode last week, and the series. But I’m really just not in the mood to watch and recap tonight. I’m either sick, or depressed or it’s the narcolepsy thing, I’m having a weird all day wine hangover after my first wine night in a month, but I feel all exhausted and blah and just want to curl up on the couch and flip over to Shondaland. I plan to do that right after this recap. So let’s do the damn thing.
You know who else isn’t feeling too well? The Shahs. The morning after their big Vegas night of debauchery. Mona is the only one who came home at a reasonable hour and showered and went to bed. Most of the rest of them are probably still a little bit drunk. Mike is still hurt that Reza betrayed his trust. I’m going to have to take Mike’s side on this. Reza totally broke Bro code.
Reza has flown Tommy out to surprise MJ who is still asleep at 2 pm. I’ve heard that this group is literally impossible to film before noon on a regular day in LA. None of them have jobs.
Everyone wakes up just in time for dinner and drinks. Reza and Mike are in an icy standoff and carefully avoiding each other. There is a huge party for MJ and Tommy at the club. Mike spends his time trying to get laid. His line,”I got big forearms” seems to be working for him in a way that makes me want to jerk a knot in the head of these idiot girls. If he said that to me, I’d probably drunkenly blurt out, “From jerking off?” This is why I am not good at dating.
There is something wrong with the chyrons that make it look like little ants are crawling all over the beds the next morning. Did post production not notice this? They must have to leave today because they all made it breakfast, drunk. I wish I had that breakfast buffet here in the ghetto shack. It’s making me hungry. Everyone is at breakfast except for Mike who apparently took his big forearms to some random girl’s room. Golnesa has video of Mike throwing money at random women and hitting on some girl. I don’t know why this is being made into such a big deal. Morgan has dumped him, he’s in Vegas, why can’t he take his big forearms to some girl’s place for the night? This video shows nothing. Mike hits on the girl at Starbucks harder than that.
Why is Reza all in Mike’s business. If he wants to be a whore, let him be a whore. Reza and Mike have a big blow up and Mike ends up crying in the bedroom. Reza tries to comfort him. Mike says he feels Reza betrayed his trust. Mike loses his shit talking about Jessica at a Tony Robbins conference calls him saying, “I AM ENOUGH” and he feels awful about losing her. Really? Are we going through this again? Duck it up, man. Now Reza is telling Mike he is a great person. Um, no. No he is not. Now Reza feels sorry for him. Mission accomplished. They leave Vegas with a big group hug.
This Golnesa pot business storyline is way overblown. There is no way Golnesa is doing anything other than investing in and being the face of the product. She’s never had a job in her life and she has no idea how to start a business. Nema has set up a pitch with some investors and he’s super nervous GG will blow it. Sherv is going for moral support. She’s high and her pitch is terrible. She tells them she has never had a job in her life. Then she asks for $327K for ten percent.
I am sort of interested in Destiney’s father who might be some sort of secret agent, or mafia guy or big time drug dealer or something. Her P.I. is still on the case.
I just saw a commercial for Dirty John. I’m looking forward to the show but probably won’t recap because some fucktards are already sending me spoilers. I’ve literally had to block people’s emails. Why do people feel the need to ruin shows for people?
MJ has a dress fitting. She is obsessed with her dress looking amazing. Spoiler alert! It did. Vida has a lot to say about MJ’s dress and none of it is great.
Next Week: MJ and Reza go to spread Shams’ ashes. Tommy and MJ fight over the prenup.
No! Please recap dirty John. You’re the only enjoyable blog I read.
Vida’s com.ent about the dress was the only entertaining thing about the whole episode. “I don’t like de mermaid, I hate de mermaid”
HAHAHAHAH! YESSS!!!
I read your show summaries because they are hilarious and so are you. I would read your memoir!
Ditto! Longtime lurker, first time commenter. …only summaries with intelligent opining (and commenters [most, not all]) I’ve come across.
Vida seems to think she is the most important person at the wedding. When she asked Reza “who is more important than the mother of the bride?” and Reza repied “the bride,” the dumbfounded look on Vida’s face was priceless.
I don’t watch this show anymore I just read your recaps. I used to love this show but just don’t enjoy watching anymore. It’s still weird to me that Destiny went from The People’s Couch to being on this show. Happy for MJ though!
Yep me too..did I miss an explanation or seque..
Next week spending Sham’s ashes is going to be very sad. Cannot wait to see Tommy & MJ’s wedding!
Unfortunately I’m losing interest in this show. For the most part, they aren’t my kind of people. The conspicuous consumption, back biting and mob tendencies are getting old.
I agree about them getting on Mike. GG’s video was a bunch of nothing. He was single in Vegas so why not let him do him?
I tried to watch but by the time Nema & Sherv were prepping GG for her pitch I had to turn it off. The story was so ridiculous.
I wish we could see more of Tommy. He seems like such a good man. At this point, he makes the show for me. I’d also love to see my girl Asa, her mother and her flaming Cheetos eating cat, Baffy.
Seriously, What in the hell do these people do to high roll it the way they do? I am most positive they only do it during filming. MJ’s mom is such a Bitch. Her mom treats her like shit and she and everyone else just takes it. The entitlement the CUNT must feel is unreal. She is her mother, but for the love of god, She was and still is a horrible one at that. No mother should feel that entitled.
I was warming to Vida when she was so supportive of MJ when her dad died, but now she’s back to her old, critical, spotlight-stealing self. For Reza to have to point out that the bride was the queen of the wedding was pathetic. At first, I thought Vida was joking, but she wasn’t.
I don’t know why Reza was so upset at Mike being Mike. He’s been a man-whore since we first met him, and I don’t think he can change. On second thought, I seem to remember that Reza was outraged because Morgan was at home, moving out all her stuff, presumably very upset, and Mike was being the loser that he is. Mike is so scuzzy, I don’t know why girls go for him at all – he’s untidy, shallow and effed up. Of course, the girls who go for one-night stands with him probably aren’t much better.
I have a real soft spot for Tommy, and Destiney is growing on me a lot. GG? I get a big kick out of her, but that presentation she gave was embarrassing and useless. The looks on the faces of the audience were priceless. Did anyone else notice that there were quite a few empty seats when she was finishing up? Apparently, quite a few people had enough of her rambling, wiggling and giggling. Nema had to have seen how messed up she was and shouldn’t have let her go on stage. He could have done a much better job himself. How many people would listen to a drunken or high (or both) GG and then invest a huge amount of money in the business? Beats me.
What is Mona doing hanging around with everyone? She doesn’t fit in with their crazy lifestyle and has way too much class to be anywhere near Mike. I guess she’s part of the Nema/Mona storyline.
What is GG going to do when she is 50? The lack of life skills with the excessive drinking and pot use won’t be so cute anymore.
TT, I love how you include your own state of mind in these recaps. It’s as if we’re watching the show with you!