While That Guy With The Sexual Assault Charges and his escort were out to dinner this weekend, showing their faces in public in hopes of getting some attention online, Kathryn Dennis took her children to the pumpkin patch. It’s hot as balls in the south these days with all kinds of humidity so she nabbed a 39 pound (!) pumpkin and headed back to the air conditioning.
There other thing that Kathryn did online this weekend was share for the first time that she is the victim of “domestic assault.” I really hate it when people split hairs over what to call something or want to rename things on the euphemism treadmill to make things sound better. It’s retarded. That said, I hate the term ‘domestic violence.’ There are laws in this country that make ‘domestic violence’ in some places a lessor offense than ‘random violence’ aka ‘assault.’ That’s ridiculous to me. Assault of a stranger is no different than assault of a member of your household. Period.
Kathryn shared several posts on the subject on her IG videos. Her are just a few.
I wonder who she could be talking about?
Bravo and Kudos Kathryn for speaking out…One more reason to be proud of yourself…I know what I know about you through the media only and I am also proud of you young lady…I become more proud every minute…I am 73 yrs. old and only now learning how free I can be by being strong and speaking out…It is never too late to stand strong…
Agreed. It is something that happens so often, to both men and women. People look down on you, or see you as weaker for “staying”. What some people ARE LUCKY ENOUGH to NOT understand is the gaslighting, torture and manipulation that occurs. The PTSD, the pain, the fear that cones afterwards is something that has to be worked on. I’m proud to say I’m getting there and I’m glad to see other people, like Kathyrn, survive as well.
Wow, amazing!! So well put. Thank you!! I’ve experienced the gaslighting and manipulation. I admit to a degree that did not bring on PTSD but I stayed too long. I was ashamed. I shouldn’t have been.
Gaslighting is among the most damaging non-physical forms of abuse, because it is so deeply pervasive to your thoughts. Love to all who’ve been put through it xoxo
Whatever you want to call it, it’s wrong. I tend to use the term “domestic violence” often because it signifies a type of violence that occurs behind closed doors. However others want to define it, it’s a violent crime that should never be tolerated.
I’ll be brutally honest: The past three weeks have been especially hard for me with certain people dominating the headlines. I can only imagine how it’s been for survivors like Kathryn. I’m heartened to see her speak her truth, and I can only hope she finds peace and justice in the days ahead.
I get it. My issue with it is because it became a legal term. “The police went to the house for a domestic dispute….” At least in the beginning of the term, unless there was a broken bone or two it was written off as a “family issue.” As with most things though, now in some states the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction and someone MUST be arrested on a “domestic dispute” charge. I position is, it should be a suspected assault call by the police and treated like a bar fight, or a random attack or mugging, and charges determined by the same rules as any other assault or threat of violence.
Unfortunately, many folks (including some in law enforcement) still don’t take it seriously enough. This is actually a personal issue for me, as I myself am a survivor. Though I ultimately made it out of that dysfunctional home, I know others who suffered in silence for far too long. (And in one other case with my family, the police developed a habit of ignoring what was happening at the house.)
Glad you finally made it out. It’s not easy to do sometimes. I have personal experience with the whole police ignoring domestic violence thing. When they ask the victim if they are dating the attacker… that should no have anything to do with whether or not something is done.
Would love to hear from others here but a “Domestic Dispute” is one of the most dangerous situations that police can roll into. Much more dangerous than a bar fight, bank robbery, or even a full-on shoot out. Domestic abuse victims are emotionally bonded with the abuser, have been beaten down for months/years, are embarrassed or have nowhere to go and more often than not, turn on the police out of fear of retribution/repercussions from the abuser.. Police know they cannot protect us. They offer solutions: a restraining order, encourage us to get family help, provide us with contacts to safe houses, etc. but, almost always, after a few 911 calls they.say, . . . . . “If you call again, we’re going to arrest you! Abuse/assault (domestic or random) is almost always alcohol/drug related and it’s the innocents who suffer and die from this tragic epidemic.
True,,,
It’s so sad and not surprising why so many women stay in abusive relationships when the statistics, which are staggering, show that 75% of abused women who are murdered, are killed after they leave their partners. ? the MOST dangerous time for a woman is when she LEAVES the relationship. Obviously, that just shows that they really aren’t protected.
Should it be changed to “Domestic Assault”? You’re probably right about this TT!
No, it should just be called assault, sexual assault, rape, battery, or whatever it is called when the same offense occurs at the hands of a stranger. For me, the word “domestic” somehow makes the offense sound “tamer” but that’s just me. It’s a personal thing.
I finally understand what you are saying, TT. The difference between “Domestic Assault” and “Assault” is “knowing them”. Our boyfriends/husbands are allowed to slap us around, break our bones, rape us and beat our children with very little penalty but . . . . a stranger CANNOT!
I’m so embarrassed that I didn’t notice the difference.in terminology or realize that domestic assaults have almost zero penalty compared to a simple assault. Wtf????
I mean this is how I feel about it. It’s probably just my issue. I really don’t even like talking about the subject, I’m hoping this will fall out of the news cycle soon.
This gets to another common misconception about various types of violent crime (domestic violence, sexual assault, and even murder): that it’s almost always “stranger danger”, and that the ones closest to us “would never do that”. In reality, most of these violent crimes are committed by people who’ve weaved their way into their victims’ lives. It could be a spouse/romantic partner, a parent, a perceived “friend”, or a co-worker.
It’s a common misperception that unfortunately far too many folks out there still don’t understand.
Completely agree. When they throw the domestic in there its the same old, same old. “Oh the Jones are at it again and he probably slapped her a bit.” I’ve seen too many times growing up and watching the women in the neighborhood get brushed aside because it was their husband/boyfriend. Nothing more sickening than to watch cops make light of it or joke about it especially in front of kids. My Dad never, ever, ever put his hands on Momma or us. He always said “If I never laid a hand on you no other man should either.”. Sadly my sister never got the message and for years it was trauma and drama until the night he broke in to kill her and the children.
He stabbed her and my other sister’s husband who tried to help get her and the kids away from him. Sweet man got the worse of it. Fortunately my other sister had no qualms about protect her husband and her sister, shot him, self defense, problem solved,
I still remember the cops kinda joking about how they wouldn’t have to lock him up for the theft they were looking for him for but now all this paperwork for homicide. I was 5 days away from giving birth to my daughter and flipped out on them because I had tried to get peace orders to keep him away from the house, she was living with me. I did get a “Oh jeez – we were bad and kinda fell down on the job” from the police chief of Baltimore at the time.
Point is, like you said, its never really taken seriously when its a husband/wife/partner. I was told I needed proof of his being violent, when it was over I said to the lead cop – Here’s your proof, a dead body, anything else.
Your use of the word retarded is extremely offensive as I have a child with Down Syndrome. Do better.
Hey, cunt! I’ve banned you from commenting. Please go spend actual time with your child rather than word policing the Internet. Thanks!
Wow…. Your response is terribly escalated to a simple comment. Maybe you should take your own advise and be silent.
Maybe you should have read the commenting rules. Things are so much simpler when you read the commenting rules when coming to a new site. You can still do it from the WLS. Grab a seat next to the other fucknut.
It’s sad you want to do a PSA on domestic violence, but ruin it by insulting special needs and people w/disabilities. Who cares you put that in the rules? Did that include spelling errors and mistakes on what shows you are commenting on?
Where did I do a PSA on domestic violence? And YES, as a matter of fact the commenting rules DO include a discussion about spelling errors and mistakes on my recap.
Now if you would kindly fuck off to the WLS (also in the commenting rules) we can all get on with our evening.
Wow. The fucktards are coming out of the woodwork for this article
Lol TT school them. The nerve of a bitch to come to your site to tell you what words should amd shouldn’t be used. I have a friend who I unfortunately don’t communicate with anymore who was in a violent relationship for years. I tried to help in every possible way but the last straw was when he broke into her house while we were having dinner, grabbed her by the hair from the dinner table with all of us present and started dragging her to the bedroom. We all jumped up, grabbed weapons and when we were about to dice and slice, I will never forget this, she turned to us and told us she loved us but to GTFO of her house. We could hear the beating and her cries and screams from outside, that was it for me. We called the police, they came and arrested him. He was out 2 days later and she picked him up. Basically, I just want to applaud all the brave men and women who are able to find the strength to walk away and rebuild their lives. I salute you, I stand with you and for you.
These days we can’t say a damn word without offending Someone. I guess I’m old because I grew up when people were Allowed to have an opinion. Love ya Tamara ❤️
Your response was friggin spot on
Also almost fell outa my seat with the intro “ hey cunt” ?
Lol . . . TT spent weeks explaining why she uses the word “retarded”. She’s a WORDSMITH! Loves some words, hates others and pretty much takes their definitions apart like a forensic pathologist. Retarded, idiot, dolt, etc.. Personally, I think the first “Commenting Rule” here should be: DON’T MESS WITH MY F***ING WORDS!
🙂
It literally is the first rule. It’s a three parter that falls under the concept of don’t come in here telling me what to do or bitching about what I do. The internet is a very diverse place, why do people insist on trying to make this place the way they want it? Surely there is a site for people against the use of certain words.
Fuck, I should start a word police site. I could make a shit ton of money off that. This is a brilliant idea!
Or sell Windex in bulk for the WLS. Ignore them. Don’t need em here ! You are on point tonight I am laughing out loud !
Yes!
In all kindness, its sorta retarded of you to bring your child’s condition into a discussion that has nothing to do with that. Save it for when its pertinent to a conversation.
Completely off-point, for some attention-seeking reason!! ?
I mean Valerie and similar hair-splitters on use of word retarded. Noone owns this word because they or someone in their family or circle of friends has a diagnosed disability.
And it is nothing to do with the violence that is the topic on this thread.
Yes atdleft, it is wrong…As a youngster, we called this violence what it was…”beating up”…I witnessed or endured the violence in the barn, hay loft, milk house, field, house or wherever my stepfather happened to be when he got mad and decided to “teach Mother or I a lesson,” “straighten us out,” “give us what for,” “or whale the tar outta us,” etc. etc…Of course, it was always “our fault,” or “look what we made him do,”…The time period for me was the ’40’s, ’50’s, and ’60’s…Anything more than beating, hitting, kicking and slapping was called attempted rape or rape…There were no sugarcoated words for the violence and attacks… It has always been a terrible act to deal with, talk about or hide…Seldom was it behind closed doors…Most everyone knew…neighbors, friends, and relatives were aware because it was happening to them too…No one talked about it…I pray you endured your ‘domestic’ violence for a short length of time Kathryn although a one time abuse is too much…Thank you for giving me my voice to speak this one-time about my horrid experiences…They are behind me and I am a survivor…
Forgive me for not being as smart as I look but what does it mean that my comment is awaiting moderation…I know the meaning of moderation but am new to trying to comprehend using a computer…I hope I haven’t done something wrong or illegal…Thank you
You’re not in trouble Dixie. If you are a new commenter or haven’t commented in a while, it will go to moderation. I, too, remember those days. It didn’t happen in my family but I witnessed it in others. And then I became a punching bag for an alcoholic, abusive asshole. I took it for a long time and then I fought back. I have a black belt in jujitsu from my teenage years in the early seventies and I finally kicked his ass. This was after he put the barrel of a shotgun to my head. However, I do not blame all men, I blame that man but I don’t have the time to waste on him. I am happy you have found your voice and strength. You always had it, you know. Now teach the young women you know to control their own destiny in this world. The better educated, the better off they will be.
Yep. You came through as a first time commenter and then I put you through. Welcome!. Be sure to check out the commenting rules. It’s pretty easy to stay out of trouble once you do that. Then just put on your big girl panties and join the crazies. 🙂
This makes me sad. It’s hard “trying to survive” but once you do, it’s amazing how strong you become. ❤
That sounds just like my step monster that I grew up with in the 60s. It leaves terrible scars.
Can’t believe this guy can go ANYWHERE in public without a bag over his head! So many parallels for him in the “Dirty John” podcast/Bravo series. We see you!!!!!
Bless you, Kathryn! #IBelieveSurvivors
Dilly Dilly, Just LOVING the very idea of bag over head for Thomas, and yes, why not Ashley as well? No more gun draws in front of the mirror!!
???????????????
Good for Kathryn. Out into the light at last!!!
I sent her a DM on Instagram thanking her for the strength to come out from the shadows about this. I wish nothing but great things for her and her babies. After being in 3 different types of abusive relationships myself, at 40 I finally said, ENOUGH! I’m also hoping her public statements on this will help bolster what Nanny Dawn has said since that cunt monkey, Ashley Perkins has now tried to discredit her.
Good for you Kathryn!! These cowards will hurt you, hit you, and then when you spiral down from the abuse, mock you for looking or acting “crazy” when they are the puppeteers of it all!!
I’m so happy to see you flourish and find your voice. Sometimes we come out better than we were before it happened, stronger
and it drives your abuser crazy that they no longer have that control over you. I went through it from ages 16-20 years old, my family and friends knew and never said a word or tried to support me. I’m 47 now and it still haunts me (among many other traumas)
but I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship and finally getting therapy. I wish the best for you and your babies and that you one day find a man worthy of you!
I’ll never forget the morning after I had my ex husband arrested for domestic violence sitting in court with a black eye and the judge looking at me like I was trash.
Then his attorney lied to the judge and said I admitted to him I lied about the abuse.
I just can’t watch any of this.
I know. I thought it was over this weekend and then tonight there’s Trump and the whole nasty speech… I couldn’t watch either. I just want something to come up in the news to push this off the TV 24/7
Too glad this has come up in the sharing on this post. I’m on the West coast. I feel such a heaviness of real energy of survivors who are being demeaned nationally & publicly. Jamie Lynn Curtis was on the View today & said …link up everyone. Way To Speak Truth Kathryn Dennis! And honor to all who share your truth & experience!
Katherine you have tons of well wishers & people who support you. Keep your head up. Those children are adorable!
Ohmmmgeee!!! I know this convo is way deeper then my brain can handle right now,
but I cannot stop scrolling back to;
“ Hey, cunt!”. I’m sorry I have a child with a 504 plan. That shit right fucking there is gold.
He’s autistic yadda fkn yadda. I don’t use the word but don’t take, feel or hear a negative slant on it. The energy spent putting out pc words for differently abled could be spent on….I don’t know something other than stalking an adult celeb gossip site to get all uptight over the very fkn reason some of us might find refuge here. Fkn moonbats.
Darn, the r word again. There was a huge discussion on this on another post with many people heartfeltly explaining why it upset them. I used to love this site but this is not for me any longer. Of course people say a lot of things on the internet but it doesn’t make it ok, and your response to the mother above was yucky. Peace and good luck to you, goodbye!
ROFLMAO.
You must be new.
Perhaps your webmaster can make it so you have to push the AGREE button before you can comment. Then YOU can push the DELETE or WLS button whenever…
Do you need help finding the WLS or can you find your way there on your own?
Breadcrumbs…
The first time my ex husband hit me was on our Honeymoon, although there were warning signs beforehand that I failed to recognize. Stayed with him for 13 years for so many bad reasons. I will never allow another person to harm me in any manner. And Karma took care of him 🙂
Poor Kathryn. She has been through so much and battled so much to be so young. I hope she find some closure through this process. Maybe there will be some actual Justice served and she can have a moment of peace.
Ok back to Kathryn… I’m really hoping she writes a book about his abuse. I hope she makes a shitload of money at his expense. I hope he falls on his ass, loses all his money and gets Grosser looking. That’ll take away all he values. He’s such a shallow dirtbag.
Well some of the comments above certainly escalated eh. Call it what you may – domestic abuse, domestic violence, a domestic smack straight in the kisser… the terminology is irrelevant to me. To me its more about societal attitudes. Too many legislatures, law enforcers and individuals the world over view it as a private matter (and therefore lessor) because the act takes place behind closed doors rather than out in public. Wrong. A persons home should be their safe haven and a breach of that safety, regardless of circumstances, should be viewed (and punished) as seriously as an assault on the street.
I’m glad that Kathryn decided to share her story and likewise to those on this thread who have shared theirs. You all deserve to live your best lives without the threat of your so called ‘partners’ throwing fists or abusing you emotionally.
I totally agree with you. For me, I realized that the view it was considered a private matter and therefore less important, was at the time in the US when we started calling it “domestic violence” those two things are tied together, for me, because of my experiences. YMMV
I think there’s a bit of victim blaming too, when it’s called a private matter, or “not our business,” and when domestic assault is treated differently and even called something different than regular assault. It’s almost like a “well, maybe that’s just how they do their relationship”/“maybe she’s okay with it, better not get involved” type of thing. You can tell that there’s a lot of people who are like “well she allows herself to get beat up…so maybe it’s not such a big deal.” It’s gross. Unless you’re in some kind of consensual BDSM relationship, no one wants to be hit, no one is okay with being hit, no one is choosing to be hit, no one feels like being hit is the price they’re willing to pay for a relationship.
I don’t personally mind the official use of “domestic” in front of the crime, because to me it helps underscore that the victim is in continuous danger. It would be strange if it wasn’t TR, given how he seems to have been with women that he spent much less time with.
I hate this. I really like Kathryn and have rooted for her from day one. I just hate this. I feel super stupid because I was duped by him. My husband always said in passing, “he’s a bad, bad man, don’t you see it?” I didn’t because I thought, oh I’m just watching a show. It’s amazing that what seemed the most “yuppie” and light hearted of all the Bravo shows turned out to be the darkest, trashiest, and most awful.
Good for Kathryn in speaking out. I wonder if the cast would’ve continued bullying her (except Dani) if it hadn’t been for MeToo movement.
Glad she’s doing well. The best revenge would be for her to run for office and win.