Somehow, I forgot to watch and recap this last week, I blame the premier of Hell’s Kitchen, but truly I think I filed the photos into my photo folder and my photo emails are my reminder of what I am supposed to be doing each day. Because, old-brained. So I am just going to hit the low lights and do a two episode recap.
Last week, at the very beginning of the show the doctors ask how they are. Kim Richards blurts out that she is very stressed out. The let her know they are aware that she is not sleeping at night and suggest she try to do that. Kim says she just hasn’t been able to. Kim seems incredibly hyper. Production has made a huge deal of Kim’s not sleeping so they are really hinting that there may be a pharmaceutical reason why she is so wired all night.
The doctors for whatever reason are trying to act like Aubrey O’Day is a sane person. The pretend like Aubrey admitting she wishes Paulie would die is a perfectly normal thing and he is the crazy one for thinking that is a good reason to leave the relationship. It’s like we are on Planet Opposite Day around here.
The couples fight in electric chairs and every time their partner say something that triggers them, they press the button to shock them. This only reinforces for Paulie that he doesn’t want to be with Aubrey. BECAUSE SHE IS INSANE. The Bachelor people never fight, yet manage to shock each other as assigned. Kim and Wynn fake fight over her kids being baggage. Mama Dee and Ernest try to electrocute each other. They both liked it.
Dr. V. takes Wynn to her office to inquire about why Kim is up all night. Dr. V. says that she can get Kim help if he thinks she needs it. We didn’t really see what he said but he did thank her for the offer of help and said it was good to know they were on top of the situation. Kim confronts him about it and he says they are just concerned that she is not eating or sleeping. Kim say it’s just the situation.
Paulie D. talks to Puma about Aubrey getting stabby with pillows in the past. The guys talk about Aubrey and Mama Dee being insane. The women talk about how the guys are just having fun and never talk about the situation at hand.
The main challenge was an electrocution maze. It was just as stupid as it sounds. Paulie and Aubrey won. But they were both miserable despite Aubrey giggling her way through most of the activity.
Judge Toler is off her meds this season. Nothing she says is worth recapping.
Kim and Aubrey are like two insane peas in a pod. The Bachelorette couple is like watching paint dry. They are annoyed by the other couples drama.
When everyone goes to bed, Wynn tries to tell Kim to go to sleep so he can. Paulie tells Aubrey the same thing but she wanders around the room talking to him and when he gets made she says he should just leave. He says I’m done.
The producers let us know that the dunk tank challenge, the electrocution challenge and the other electrocution challenge were all done in the same day. So Paulie’s day started by hearing that Aubrey wants him dead in the dunk tank challenge, then had to go through the two electrocution challenges. He was not a happy camper. They also told us that the voltage of the gauntlet electrocution was accidentally higher because it took place at night and the wires were damp. OOPS!
Drunk In Love
Paulie gets up at 6:30 and leaves. YAY! Paulie stands on the side of the road waiting for an Uber while Puma tries to talk him out of it. But Paulie leaves. Puma points out that Paulie was really clear he was not coming back. Aubrey tells him to stop talking because he is triggering her. I hate that term and so want to punch her in the face for triggering me. Aubrey throws herself a pity party and so many of the girls fall for it.
Meanwhile, Curtis’ blood pressure is through the roof so they are taking him out for medical treatment. They guys are dropping like flies, y’all! Why doesn’t Mama Dee go to the doctor with her husband?
The challenge this week is for the couples to put together puzzles while one is in drunk goggles and the other partner told them where to find the pieces and how to put them together. Mama Dee and Aubrey have to do both of their puzzles together. Everyone does fine. Ernest comes back from the doctor.
Meanwhile, Dr. Ish shows up to talk to Paulie D. Doctor Ish is an idiot. No one should be in a relationship with Aubrey.
Dr V finally talks to Aubrey and tells her that she has the same relationship problems she has with the last guy and she need to change. But she tells her in such a polite way, Aubrey doesn’t get it.
Oh for fucksake Paulie came back. They must have given him a pay raise he could not refuse. In the fifteen minutes he was gone, Aubrey talked about how Paulie always leaves her and he is the most abusive man on the planet. And she is just thrilled that he is back.
Bachelorette Chris said something about Judge Toler being a girl version of someone. Chris thinks there is a misunderstanding about what he meant. Their probably is because I didn’t get what he was saying the first time. Judge Toler seems very sensitive about being called a girl. Girlfriend, please. She’s coming out hot tonight and just when you think she is going to read Aubrey the riot act she tells her to clean her her half of the room. Le sigh.
Chris is upset that Judge Toler called him out for using the word girl. All the other girls tell him it was terribly wrong of him. Jesus. Mama Dee tells Aubrey that she needs to spend less time psychoanalyzing everyone else and more time working on her own relationship. Audrey has a hissy fit and stomps off. Paulie agrees with Mama Dee. Paulie goes up to check on Aubrey and she starts in with him telling him how she isn’t going to listen to anyone tell her that she is not contributing enough effort to the relationship. She’s a fucking martyr and is always pleasing and making positive contributions! Paulie finally says if she is so perfect why is she here? Apparently, it is to impart her great relationship wisdom on everyone else. Paulie goes off and lets her know that she is unable to listen to anyone else and is solely focused on fixing other people’s problems and his in particular. It’s her thing. He tells her to try fixing herself first.
The producers point out that everyone was glad to see Paulie return except for Aubrey. This totally interrupted her pity party. The only producer on site at 6 am called the Exec to let him know he had a runner. The Exec says his GPS said he was seven minutes from the house. It’s funny because the other producer says that means he could make it in five. He says he had to drive the speed limit because he still has points on his license from when Benzino tried to make run for it. The football was extremely long. Like super long.But Paulie really wants to get the hell out of there. Even waking up Puma, his sponsor, couldn’t keep Paulie in the house.
Until next time…