It looks like Bravo is going to shove Jerry O’Connell’s crap show (and I love Jerry, but this is crap) down our throats again by tacking it onto RHOC next week as well, so these recaps will be delayed until Tuesdays because I can’t let that stupid mansplaining show keep me from recording great shows. The Good Doctor and Manifest will always come first. Also, I’m on a sobriety kick and these Bravo shows really aren’t watchable sober. Le sigh.
I really am worried about the possible meaning of this title. I just enjoyed Taco Tuesday and I really don’t need to be nauseated.
It’s time for Vicki’s first bike ride. How is this possible. I miss being on the back of a bike. I wouldn’t do it today though. #HeavyLoad Vicki screams and complains the whole time. Steve needs to break up with her immediately. Instead, the takes her to a biker bar. Wait, Orange County has a biker bar? Is this a set? Vicki orders a diet coke from the lady with the neck tattoo. My DVR is so offended it freezes up. Vicki is all about Gina’s business and is certain the Gina is doing divorce all wrong. Vicki will regret divorcing Don all of her life. That has nothing to do with Gina.
Shannon is packing an insane amount of supplement for her trip to Philly to do QVC. I pause to take a vitamin D an a B complex. I stupidly pay a couple hundred bucks just for the vitamin D test that tells me I am low on D vitamins when I go get a physical. Then cure for this issue is to take vitamin D. I always forget to take vitamins and I always forget how expensive the B and D tests are when I go to take them.
I am full of Mexican food. Need siesta.
Apparently, the world is supposed to end on the day of Shannon’s QVC show. I can’t find a Wednesday that the world was supposed to end. I don’t think the world would end on a Wednesday. Wednesday’s just don’t seem like a good day for the Apocalypse. I could be wrong. Which is fine. I prep anyway. And by prep I mean I have lots of black plastic, duct tape, manual can openers, canned goods and alcoholic beverages. I’m set.
Gina goes to lunch with her parents. She is going to go to therapy with her husband and her kids to help the kids with the process. Her parents seem nice. They plan to retire to California to be near the grandkids. They were shocked by the divorce. Gina’s weird accent is gone. He parents speak normally. Gina is really pretty. I haven’t noticed that before. I want that sangria her mother ordered.
Emily takes the rowdy kids to her mother in law’s house. It’s beautiful. She talks to her about having one more kid. She has nine embryos in storage. What do people do with left over embryos? She wants one more kid. Shane doesn’t. Once again, I am Team Shane. The kids she has need some more structure as it is. Bringing another one in won’t help the situation. I do get she wants another girl so the girl she has will have a sister. Sisters are overrated though. Emily lost a set of twins at four months.
Tamra shows up at QVC to support Shannon. Didn’t they just hate each other last week? Sophie is looking at Tamra as if she has two heads when she starts listing all the things that could go wrong on live TV.
Kelly takes Jolie to audition for a Oliver. Kelly thinks theater people are dorks.
Gina and Vicky go for coffee. I want a latte. I am not going to recap any more lectures to Gina about her divorce. Especially when Vicki says that this generation does not respect marriage. She twice divorced, with a broken engagement and currently trying to force a man to marry her. There is literally no reason that Vicki and Don should get married. Why is Gina suddenly so pretty?
Two different women in two different restaurants have ordered hot water with lemon. That is a first thing in the morning thing. David got a new Porshe and apparently Sophie took it for a little joy ride and she damaged the mirror putting it back in the garage. David took her car away but she’s planning on stealing the keys.
Back at QVC, Shannon doesn’t know how to use a microwave and she can’t master opening the door without turning her back to the camera so they cut out the whole microwaving live idea. Then she screams during a live shot a few feet away. Salmon with cream cheese makes my tummy curdle at the thought.
The ladies all have a champagne party to watch Shannon’s 8 and a half minutes on QVC. Whew. That is so much better than what I thought it might be. Right after I typed that Kelly told a gross sex story. UGH.
In fairness to Shannon, the other woman turns her back to the camera too. It’s kind of hard and awkward to get food out of the microwave that is behind you and not turn your back. Shannon drops her cue card and bends down below the counter to pick it up. Shannon grabs her fat roll on national TV. The women all criticize her but I think she did fine for her first time. Shannon is overwhelmed by the experience. Vicki tries to order and they think she is prank calling. Then Kelly actually DOES prank call. What great friends they are. Shannon’s shrimp sold out. Her numbers were good.
Next week: Vicki encourages Michael to get married and make babies. Shane says no to another baby. Eddie is back it atrial fib after the third ablation. Gina’s divorce starts to hit her.