I suppose I should try to get caught up on recaps. It has been an emotionally exhausting few days, but I need to try to get back to work. So let’s see how MJ’s bridal shower, or as she calls it her “bridal bath.” went off in Vegas. Before the show even starts I am more annoyed than usual with the Shah’s of Sunset theme song. “Yeh, cut a lot of girls, cut a lot of cheques; That’s the life here on sunset;Rich and famous I am success; Met her at Les Deux and she do love sex; Ima sip this, you do the rest; You know what you do, you do the best; Do me a favour, lose the dress; We run L.A!” It’s not just that is is misogynistic and stupid, but Asa has a song called Terangles that is way better and much more appropriate. Anyway…
Like all of us going to Vegas MJ expects to win big bucks. Unlike most of us, we don’t go with the expectation of getting our titties sucked. That’s just MJ. Destiney has decided on a blue wig for Vegas. I am starting to consider getting a wig. Does that mean I don’t have to brush my hair anymore? I was thinking about how easy it would be just to get corn rows (except for all the sitting) and then just wear wigs when they cut to Sherv who it seems has decided to go with cornrows for the weekend himself.
This party is sponsored by Planet Hollywood. The giant suite is lovely. I would never leave it if it had its own bank of slot machines. Mike let’s Reza know he is single in Vegas. Apparently Morgan dumped him. Or was only hired for two episodes. Whichever. If Mike only wants to marry a Jew, he needs to only date Jewish women. It’s a simple concept.
All of the gang will be in the giant suite except for MJ who has the honeymoon suite that is set up just for the bride. MJ has mentioned more than once this episode she wants to get laid at her bachelorette party. #Klazzy
Mike and Sherv tell Golnesa she should give Shalom the ring back and he says he is in love with her. Mike is friends with Shalom and has his interest in mind. Sammy shows up to party with the crew. MJ’s bridesman/stylist is there to do her hair. Then it is off to the giant pool party. I love that MJ is very confident with her body at the very packed Vegas pool party. MJ tells Nema that she used to have sex with Tommy five or six times a day and now they only have it twice a week. Why do people lie about this? Is it Vicki Syndrome? Tommy has a full-time job.
Everyone is wasted trying to get ready to go out drinking. Sherv’s cologne is apparently horrible and he wears a ton of it. Reza talks to Sherv about the fact that Morgan is moving all her stuff out of Mike’s house this weekend. Reza wants to do an intervention with Mike about his crappy ways. As if they don’t do this every season.
They go to Mr. Chow’s. Mike says that Shalom is getting mixed from GG because she wears her engagement ring. It sounds like Mike told Shalom she’s in Vegas to me. How long before he shows up? MJ brings up Morgan and wants to know if she knows he is never going to marry her. Everyone gangs up on Mike and it’s annoying. Not because I care about Mike, but because we do this every freaking season as if it will make a difference. Mike and Reza have a fight because Reza told the group about Morgan when he asked her not to. Mike storms off. He comes back eventually but refuses to join in the toast to hold everyone accountable. At least MJ and Mike hug it out. Mike cries. He’s clearly in a bad place about something. He feels betrayed by Reza.
I just saw an ad for Dirty John saying it is coming in November. I predict it will air after RHOA . MJ is partying with her “gayntourage” while the straight guys hit on girls. She takes all the gay guys except for Reza back to her bridal suite where they proceed to trash the room. MJ gets security to let her into the main suite where Reza is trying to sleep. He throws her out.
Back in the bridal suite, all the drunk guys leave.
Next week: More Vegas fights with Mike. And back home Morgan tells Mike she is done with him. Again.