Y’all it’s been a really busy and emotionally draining day for most of us today. I had two or three other recaps I was going to do before this one but I am going to have to get to those tomorrow. In the interest of having one post today that hopefully isn’t two depressing, I’m going to try to get this recap up. I mean it’s Christmas. I love Christmas!
Jeff and Gage never take Monroe anywhere, but they have decided to take Monroe with them on a business trip to NYC. Along with the usual suspects, they are taking nannies and grandparents and a billion suitcases of baby essentials.
With Jeff and Gage out of the way, Tyler is left to deal with Valley View and Patrick and Paul’s “project management.” All these two guys do is argue. Absolutely nothing is getting done.
Frankie texts Jeff to tell him that he cannot work with Paul anymore. He’s walked off the Valley Vista site because Paul says he’s the boss. Jeff is displeased. He wants to fire Paul because Frankie is Heather’s friend.
Tyler is busy picking out trees for Jeff and Gage’s place. Tyler was much happier decorating for Christmas than dealing with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Are we still allowed to say Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?
Monroe is thrilled to be out of the house for the first time. She seems to think everyone’s first day out in public happens on a private plane. And then, the air pressure got to her and she screamed like she wash being eaten alive for twenty minutes straight.
When they get to NYC it is snowing and the windows on Fifth Avenue are all decked out with Christmas decorations and Monroe is loving it all. She literally went from house sequester to the most wonderful time of the year in NYC. Talk about a stimulus shock!
The guys and Heather and Jenni head to their first showing in the Hamptons. It’s a long, long, car ride. Jenni tells divorce stories the whole way. Meagan is terrified of small planes and helicopters. But with all of this jabbering has her begging for a helicopter. Jeff, already planned to take one and just wasn’t telling her. So now she is freaking out a bit. Did I mention the weather was bad? I have been in a helicopter once in Panama City. There were no doors and I was on the outside. I wasn’t happy about it and I think there may have been some drugs involved. And not anti-anxiety meds. But they lived.
Heather picked them up at the airport and took them to her house. I love The Hamptons. We are getting so much real estate porn and I could not be more pleased. The deer in The Hamptons are different from Georgia deer. I mean, even the deer are fancy.
Heather wants Jeff to do a refresh on the house. Nothing too major. Let’s see if Jeff can restrain himself. You could eat off the floor in he mechanical room in the basement. Jeff and Gage are giddy over the extreme cleanliness and the fact every wire and switch is neatly labeled. It’s literally their favorite room in the entire gorgeous place. I expect his refresh will be the guest bedrooms. They could use new curtains and bed linens and way fewer bed pillows. I don’t see how he plans to do this on a short trip. Curtains and such need to be custom made for a house like that.
Heather says Main Beach in East Hampton was voted number one beach in the country last year. That can’t possibly be true. Was it voted that by a bunch of people from Long Island or something?
After surviving another helicopter trip back to the city, the gang of four head out for dinner and drinks. The Christmas spirit is upon them all Jenni and Jeff are getting along, Gage and Jeff are being kind to each other. It’s a Christmas miracle.
Ugh, the Chaz Dean and his bitchy assistants arrive to dinner. Why are they in NYC ruining my Christmas? Everything was going along so nicely! Jeff wants Monroe to model for Wen Kids. She only uses the product and her godfather is the company owner. Monroe is already obsessed with American Girl and the Sax jewelry counter.
Jeff’s partner on one of the Hollywood Hills houses lives in NYC and she is looking for an apartment. Jeff and the clan are going with her to weigh in on the potential properties. She isn’t even sure what neighborhood she wants.
First up is 15 Central Park West. Two beds two and a half baths, 2200 square feet for seven million dollars. It overlooks central park. I don’t care if it is a Robert Stern building, it looks like where old people go to die. There are like stick on flowers on the wall. I can’t stand this tour. I want to move on.
The realtor doesn’t know the stats on any of the properties. Where is Fredrik? How are they not using Fredrik? Or Ryan? Or the hot one? Jeff blows off the real estate agent.
The second day the get two new male agents, but not from MDLNY as I had hoped. The check out 15 Renwick St. It’s 4 bed/ 5ba and 3500 square feet with a listing price of $8,495,000. It a two-story townhouse and they love it. I don’t. But I don’t like modern and I don’t like the layout.
They look at another apartment in the same building that is 3bd/3.5 ba 1700 square feet and just under $4 million. I like it better already. The guys were dumb to show her this when she liked the bigger, uglier, more expensive one.
Then they go to 93 Worth in Tribeca. 4bd/4.5ba 3300 square feet for $8, 755,000. There is a stunning window that overlooks the city. There is a great outdoor space. The owners are motivated. It’s really nice if you need four bedrooms. For the money I’d go for the 3 bedroom one for half the price.
In the end, Heather doesn’t even know what neighborhood she wants to live in so this was just a made up trip to justify a trip to NYC with the baby. And I’m okay with that. I enjoyed the episode.
Jeff and Gage really had time to bond with Monroe and focus on her and it seemed to make the entire family closer.
Next week: It’s back to bitching about Valley View, And Lea Black turns up.