Y’all, I have been to the mountaintop (see comments) and my weave is exhausted. Other than almost dying on a mountain and being eaten by deer (and probably Banjo) I’ve only managed to put up the RHOOC mid-season trailer. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it.
Kelly and Tamra got to Tamra’s doctor’s appointment and Tamra still doesn’t realize that her drunk ass was dead wrong for attacking Emily’s husband. Tamra tries to tell her that Emily is a great girl but Kelly just wants to trash Shane more. You know Shane, the guy who was hanging back out of camera shot minding his own business when her drunk ass showed up spewing crap at Steve.
Kelly has a pattern. She talks about other people’s men as if she is really good at picking men for herself. She tells Tamra that Steve left Vicki a year ago and moved in with his mother. She says she was there for her like a supportive friend. Or she was there gathering ammo to attack Vicki with at this golden moment in time. Tamra thought Steve had a house and Kelly says Vicki lies about that because he sold it. So she lied about him having a house, or he did have a house that he sold because he moved in with Vicki? Which is it Kelly?
Gina and Emily take their kids on a wagon ride through a big farm. It’s strawberry picking season. Gina doesn’t like Shannon. I believe she is consistent with this opinion every since she met her.
Vicki and Tamra go to a vineyard to taste wine for an Italian dinner party for the girls. They both arrive wearing the same sandals. Well, Tamra only wears one. Vicki says that she and Steve are super in love. Wherever they are (it looks like more of a restaurant) they are on a gorgeous lake. Where are they, my OCers? Vicki says she and Steve did break up for a few weeks last year when she was moving into her new Coto offices and was busy all the time. Since his place was rented, he went to stay with his mom for a while. Vicki says Kelly “needs to shut her fatass mouth.”
Tamra says the reason Kelly is pissed at Vicki is because she has told people she left Michael and the divorce decision was mutual. Vicki says that Michael wanted to stay married to Kelly. Vicki says that Kelly was constantly mean to Michael. That seems to be what we saw in previous seasons.
Vicki and Tamra are confused by Kelly’s divorce. They think something must have happened but she is not coping to anything.
Gina and Kelly got to walk some stairs. I did rocky stairs all damn day, did I mention that, because I’m still dying and just watching this makes my legs hurt more. They are walking even slower than I did and they are going down the stairs. Then they just stop in the middle to chat. It’s as if they can’t chat and walk. Kelly doesn’t understand Gina’s divorce either. Why do the other wives need to know all the details?
Vicki’s friend and chef Domenico comes to Vicki’s to cook Italian for the ladies and give them a cooking lesson. Shannon stops to pick up Kelly for the dinner and we get to see her “love shack.” It looks like it is a block off the beach with ocean views. Shane is left to handle dinner with the kids.
Shannon hasn’t been to Vicki’s in two years or more. Emily asks Kelly is she will stop by and apologize to Shane and shockingly, she says yes. Kelly sounded just like Ramona in her talking head. Kelly is the west coast apologizer. None of these women know how to cook.
Kelly is pissed at Vicki. Why? Kelly is the one trash talking Steve. How is she mad at Vicki for her own trash talking. Vicki happens upon Kelly trashing Steve to Tamra, again! Vicki manages to ignore it and attempt to keep the party moving along and everyone happy. But Kelly seems to be coming for Tamra for “talking shit.” Kelly is the only one talking shit on this episode so far.
Once everyone gets to the dinner table, Gina is the target. Everyone is pissed at her for getting a divorce before she and her husband completely despise each other. Again, why is this their business? Emily thinks she won’t have a painful divorce. This seems to enraged the divorced women. Emily is certain that money won’t be an issue. Everyone screams at Gina. Then Vicki says she promised God to stay married. Um, How many times has Vicki been divorced? Then Gina blurts out that she doesn’t believe in God and Vicki screeches at Emily about not having a moral compass. Again, is Vicki the gold standard for having a moral compass? Or Tamra? Or Jesus Jugs? The Christian hypocrisy is mind-blowing here!
Gina says that she believes in a higher power, a God. She says she believes in herself. Vicki basically says that Gina is going to hell. Even Kelly says that Vicki is wrong for that. Vicki says that no one with want to date her with three children. Shannon tries to refute that but Gina has had enough and leaves the table. Vicki is shocked that Gina is leaving. She doesn’t even consider it was something she said. She continues to talk shit about her as she is leaving. Vicki says he must be having an affair.
SO WHAT IF HE IS? CLEARLY SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? WHY ANTAGONIZE A WOMAN WHOSE MARRIAGE IS ENDING? Especially since the whole argument from these bitches is how awful divorce is. Why are they so dead set on making her as miserable as possible and telling her she is making a mistake?
Tamra is the voice of reason (read that again!) who says, “It’s really none of our business. Gina goes to the bathroom to cry and calls her husband for support. Emily goes to check on Gina. She gets her back to the table. Gina says that she doesn’t like to share her hurt and at the same time, she knows that she is making the right decision and it’s not the same situation they have been in.
Lastly, we see Emily and Shane and the kids hanging out. They seem very happy together. Kelly stops by with Jolie and a present for Shane. It’s a bowl of succulents because roses die and succulents live forever. Emily orchestrates the apology while the girls go play. Kelly starts by making excuses. She’s going through a bad divorce and she was a bit sensitive. Shane still didn’t know what he said to piss her off. Kelly claims not to remember what she said and would need a court reporter to have it read back. Shane points out that would not go in her favor. She says whatever he said, that she can’t remember pissed her off because she wasn’t talking to him. It’s clear her recollection of events that night is mostly blacked out by her drinking. The only thing she remembers is that he pointed out how drunk she was. Shane points out that if you want to confront someone for what they said to upset you, you might want to explain what was said. He says that is just common sense. This pisses her off. The “apology” is getting even more awkward.
In her talking head she says she has two options here. Either be nice to Shane or call him a little bitch again. Wait, I thought she didn’t remember doing any of that. So she tries to change the subject and asks what they are doing today. Shane, the sarcasm guy, says, “Probably talk trash about you after you leave.” The correct response is.”Okay then, let me go so you can get on that.” Then get your kid and go. But Kelly realizes he’s just messing with her and somehow it all works out.