I almost forgot all about this show. It wouldn’t be such a great loss with regard to the site, but I am trying to convince myself that I HAVE to watch this show because y’all just love the recaps. I mean it’s not because I really like the show. I mean hundreds of you would be disappointed if I stopped. So I have to interrupt my fascinating Friday nights with Banjo to recap this lest I fail my billions of fans.
Okay, fine. I’m addicted to this show. I just hope it’s not the fake death scene where they have to pretend their spouse is dead. The title has me nervous that might be the case and that episode gives me the heebie jeebies.
Pauly D is trying to take Judge Toler’s advice to treat Aubrey like a queen for a few days and see if that makes a difference. He gets up early, works out and then cuts her some flowers from the garden and takes her breakfast in bed. When Aubrey finds out he worked out before he did all of that, she is pissed that he didn’t put her first. Aubrey is a real bitch, but this has to be storyline even for her. No one can be this horrible.
Wynn and Kim’s fake relationship has hit a real roadblock. Kim hasn’t slept in the three days they have been there and Wynn is concerned.
The couples are sequestered in their rooms. The one member of each of the couples are told they will be hearing a confession from one of the other people in the house. They will be the keeper of the confession until a later point in the exercise.
Chris’s confession to Puma isn’t shown but Puma is disappointed it is nothing juicy. Desiree confesses that she wants to be able to tell Chris when she is not feeling sexy or appreciated. She cries and talks not wanting to be seen as just new mom. Chris finally comes up with a confession. something about being afraid of losing her if he can’t be there for her physically and emotionally. WTF does that even mean? He’s never been there for her physically and emotionally? Puma said he did not care for the experience.
Ernest is afraid to ask Mama Dee if she has had sex with her male, gay friend. Desiree listens in stunned disbelief. Earnest hates Mama Dee for sending her to prison. Mama Dee says she dated while he was in prison, but they were not married.
Kim listens to Quani and Puma. Quani says she doesn’t want Puma to be an absent father like her father was. She’s terrified she might be a single mom. Quani is not sure if their relationship will last. Or even if it should. Puma says the sexual compatibility needs to happen for the relationship to survive. Puma says he feels like he lives on her timeline and that scares him.
Wynn confesses to Aubrey that he doesn’t think he turns Kim on. She is not into sex. Kim tells Aubrey that Kim confesses that she has never had sex with Wynn. Well, that the first true thing she has said this season. She says they can’t seem to get out of the friendzone. Wynn says he’s tried and she’s not interested.
Aubrey confesses to Mama Dee that she is miserable and well past hurt and doesn’t think Pauly D will ever change. She is just such a drama queen she says there have been many times in the relationship that she was in so much pain she wishes she were dead. Please. One instant of that and any normal person would end the relationship. She’s such a liar. Pauly D tells Mama Dee says that Aubrey’s dynamic with her friend is so intense that she has no emotions left for him. Aubrey basically says she hates him and has wished death on him. Um, can we get a mental health check on this chick? Someone call for a 5150! Meanwhile, Pauly is saying he really cares about Aubrey but she doesn’t believe him.
When the couples meet up in the den, all the couples sit on small sofas together except for Kim and Wynn who always sit in the chairs. The shrinks tell them not to reveal whose confessions they heard. If they do there will be serious consequences. So of course they all want to find out who was listening.
The girls have a chat and Aubrey says they need to check each other and keep each other in line. So Quani points out that Aubrey made Paulie feel unappreciated when he brought her breakfast. Of course Aubrey feels betrayed and defensive. She says that Paulie played all of them. Aubrey starts going off on Kim for telling her what Paulie D told her.
The couples are called out to the yard where there are two water tanks with a seat. In the water are a bunch of fire eels. It they don’t reveal their confession, they will be dunked into the tank with the eels. Kim and Wynn are up first. Their confessor will keep them honest. Aubrey is their confession and she wants Kim to be dunked. Kim admits they have never had sex and asks him if he is sexually attracted to her. He says no. Wynn confesses he doesn’t think she is attracted to him. Aubrey admits they were both truthful.
Next up, are Puma and Quani. Kim says Puma was honest, but Quani was not. She gets dunked. Quani said Desiree and Chris were honest. Paulie is freaked out that Aubrey says she wished him dead at times. Mama Dee said both of them were truthful. But Dr. Ish dunks them both anyway. He says they both need a fresh start. Mama Dee is pissed that Ernest thinks she is sleeping with her gay friend. She is offended he implied she is a “ho.” Then she confesses she slept with other men while he was in prison. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, I mean you can make this stuff up and most of them are. Desiree said they were truthful
Judge Toler comes out and tells Mama Dee and Ernest they need to deescalate their argument. She says that she has no idea what Kim and Wynn are doing there. It’s the check, judge. She tells Quani to be appreciative of Puma. She still refuses to really call Aubrey to the carpet. Is it in her contract this season that she doesn’t come off as the lunatic? Because she’s coming off as the lunatic whether Judge Toler acknowledges it or not. She tells Desiree that Chris thinks she is the best thing since slice bread and she needs to accept that. She tells Chris he has few things to work on in the house.
Mama Dee and Earnest are super pissed off with each other. The female therapist goes to see if she is suicidal. She talks about how she cruel Pauly is. She doesn’t ask her about her her death wish toward Paulie D. Paulie is done with Aubrey. The two moronic therapist say they think he will leave because he always runs. SERIOUSLY? He should stay with someone who wishes him dead and talks nonstop about how cruel and hurtful he is? It seems clear this needs to end right now. Paulie D says she has stuck around for two years. If this is how she feels why is she still around?
They didn’t add enough time to the show to let us hear the crew feedback other than Paulie D and Aubrey fight all day every day.