Sorry for getting behind on these recaps, but there have been a lot of shows going on at once and only a few of us watch this one. That said, I am dying to catch up.
BUT FIRST, A REMINDER THAT THESE RECAPS AND COMMENTS ARE SPOILER FREE! MY EMAILS SHOULD BE TOO. PLEASE STOP SPOILING ME WITH THINGS THAT HAVE NOT HAPPENED ON THE SHOW YET. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SPOILERS ARE, WE ARE WATCHING A TAPED EXPERIMENT. THE FINALE WILL GIVE US THE OUTCOME ABOUT WHOSE MARRIAGE WORKED OUT, AND WHOSE DID NOT. IF YOU TELL US THE OUTCOME NOW, IT SPOILS THE SHOW FOR ALL OF USE. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SURGERY.
When the first episode starts we are at the half way point and the couples are celebrating their one month anniversary.
Amber and Dave
Poor Dave. Amber has decided that for their anniversary she is going to “try to make dinner.” I don’t think she has ever cooked before in her life. He is asking Dave every single step of the way. She doesn’t understand why chicken that comes out of the fridge is cold. She’s going to give him salmonella. She needs two cloves of garlic and LITERALLY can’t count to two. I can’t with this one. She finds grinding pepper exhausting. Then she makes him do the dishes.
Dave is taking Amber on a trip back to the ranch where they got married for his anniversary gift. I would love a trip. Amber will want to know where her present is. Surprisingly, she is touched by the gesture! They look through all the wedding photos from the producers.
On the second episode, Dr. Pepper shows up to check in with the couples. Dave says that Amber has drastic reactions to things. Today she had a meltdown about not having socks. Apparently, it was a big fucking deal to her. Amber is extremely insecure.
Oh no! It’s the phone swap exercise. Amber doesn’t want him to do it. He doesn’t want to do it, so they don’t. He totally needs to go through her phone. I would totally do it if I were in this situation. Dave is surprised that she has never been in a relationship where she trusted her partner before. This of course makes Amber insecure. The lowkey argue about this. Dave is concerned that Amber has only been attracted to the wrong kind of guy in the past. He’s annoyed.
When they talk about the future, Dave wants to take a couple of big trips before they have kids. She wants to have them right away. This is a major point of disagreement that should have kept them from matching. Then Amber says she wants the first five years of their childhood to be over. Dave needs to run. They do not agree on anything and constantly argue in weird quiet voices.
Danielle and Bobby
These two are going skeet shooting for their anniversary. It’s Danielle’s first time. Danielle seemed to pick it up pretty easily.
Production left them a basket full of wedding memories including a video and a photo album. Bobby got Danielle a DNA test for her dog Henry. He gave her 23 notecards each with a reason why he loves her. They were married on the 23rd. It was sweet. She got him a chalkboard with a list of all thirty baseball stadiums because his bucket list is to visit them all. She also got him tickets to a Texas game in Seattle because they are playing there when she goes to see his family. These two are thoughtful gift givers!
Bobby has arranged a drive-in movie date. He has set up a cute little bed with candles and flowers and the movie is their wedding video. So sweet.
When Dr Pepper shows up, Danielle says she is working on being more open to affection. So she wants to send them to do a tantric exercise. Danielle is immediately nervous. They have a new foster dog and the dog has diarrhea. Bobby is very displeased that he keeps having to clean up diarrhea since Danielle’s commute keeps her out of the house longer.
The flip through each others phone. They see nothing curious.
At the tantric counseling session, they both freak out about the counselors frank discussions about sex.
They go out to dinner for a date night. The new dog is problematic. Bobby needs a break. Danielle says she is going to wake up in the middle of the night for night duty and she will clean the cage. Bobby doesn’t think she will. What did she do before Bobby?
Mia and Tristan
These two do a risk analysis regarding their potential move to Houston. Basically the analysis went like this. Tristan: There are no benefits to me staying in Dallas. End of analysis.
These two are going on a gondola ride for their anniversary. Who knew Dallas has gondoliers? It was very romantic. Later the go through all the wedding memorabilia from production. Tristan they read each other their vows again. Tristan says he means them more than ever. They are both emotional. They seem to be very happy and Mia has decided to move to Houston with him.
These two tell Dr. Pepper they are in a good place and very excited to move to Houston. Tristan’s business went down the tubes in Houston in the month he was stuck in Dallas doing the show so they are going to go down there and right the ship. Mia is excited to move to Houston.
Tristan doesn’t want to go through Mia’s phone. He says he trusts her. I think it is because he doesn’t want to know. They both decide not to go through it.
The Group Cooking Activity
Oddly, none of the wives can cook. The husbands do all the cooking. Guess what? Amber is insecure of her cooking abilities. So why not take a class instead of freaking out. She freaks out because she can’t crush garlic. Mia catches a kitchen towel on fire. This is why I don’t cook with gas. I know myself.
When all the couples chat about their marriages, Bobby and Danielle continue to say they never fight. The other couples find that odd, and probably slightly annoying.