It’s time for the finale. Which is great because I can’t take too much more of this season where I am forced to be Team Hannah. My hatred for Joao knows no bounds.
Hannah’s bullshit change fees seem to have doubled from the last episode and are now a whopping $400. Hannah sees herself as far wealthier that Conrad and yet she expects him to pay for the change. He had his own trip to cancel. Allegedly. Presuming any of this is real. Joao tells Conrad he dodged a bullet. Finally, there is a point of agreement between Joao and I. Brooke and Joao have plans to go to Florence after the season ends.
The final dinner service goes off well. However, on of the obnoxious daughters passes out. on the deck and has to be carried to her room.
After the guests leave (handing Captain Sandy a very fat tip envelope) Hannah is suddenly BFFs with Kasey promising to give her great references. And then invites Hannah to have a glass of wine on the deck with her where she proceeds to tell her that she would bet her entire season of tips that Joao will fuck her over. While I agree, there is nothing positive at all for anyone about stating that to Brooke at this point. She’ll just have to learn the hard way,
The final tip was $20K and the total for the season was $143,500. Captain Sandy is going to take the crew to dinner for the last night. Colin did a cuter goodbye rap for the crew. At dinner Conrad tries not to have to sit with Hannah, but she manages to plop down right next to him. When Captain Sandy asks Conrad what is next for him, Brooke says, “Definitely not Prague, that’s what we know.” Bravo, Brooke that was well-timed. Hannah was not amused. Sandy picks up the tab and leaves.
Joao and Conrad make amends and hug it out. Hannah has a loud drunken conversation with Jaime about Brooke’s Prague dig. Joao rides in the girls taxi and tries to end things on a positive note with Jaime but Hannah makes it clear Jaime thinks he’s a jackoff just like she does. Hannah tells Joao she thinks he’s a sexist pig. In the guys taxi, Conrod has decided to grab his duvet and lock himself in the starboard forward cabin and hope Hannah doesn’t find him. He literally runs to lock himself up while Hannah and Brooke stay in the taxi to argue while the taxi driver waits miserably.
Drunk Hannah is ruining everyone’s last night. Drunk Brooke has her usual meltdown. Adam cooks lobster and veal meatballs for the girls while Hannah goes Conrad hunting. She eventually finds him and she’s more pathetic than Brooke. He begs her to go away and leave him alone. She does not. She keeps calling him baby and asks him if he would be jealous if she went on a male friend’s yacht who wants to have sex with her. He tells her several times it would not bother him at all. She keeps on. Then she asks if he has really gone six weeks without sex or a blowjob and he is turning it down right now? Then she tells him to take her pants off. *moaning* Then he dips back to his quarters.
During all the hugs goodbye, Joao cries saying goodbye to Captain Sandy. She tells him she would love to have him back as bosun. Le sigh.
Brooke tries several times to hug it out with Hannah. Hannah reluctantly agrees. There will be a Below Deck Reunion! Joao and Brooke seem to be leaving as a couple heading to Florence. Adam had a great season and his love of yachting is back.
Hannah and Conrad are the last two to go. Conrad seems less interested in further contact than she is. Conrad says he will never date a crewmate again. Conrad notices that people in yachting don’t have steady relationships or see their family that often. He’s reconsidering if he wants to continue in the industry. Hannah and Captain Sandy make up and it seems sincere.
On the reunion, Captain Sandy is a cunt to Conrad for literally no reason. Joao’s love triangle is called out. Andy asks Hannah if perhaps she is the problem.