It’s time for the finale. Which is great because I can’t take too much more of this season where I am forced to be Team Hannah. My hatred for Joao knows no bounds.
Hannah’s bullshit change fees seem to have doubled from the last episode and are now a whopping $400. Hannah sees herself as far wealthier that Conrad and yet she expects him to pay for the change. He had his own trip to cancel. Allegedly. Presuming any of this is real. Joao tells Conrad he dodged a bullet. Finally, there is a point of agreement between Joao and I. Brooke and Joao have plans to go to Florence after the season ends.
The final dinner service goes off well. However, on of the obnoxious daughters passes out. on the deck and has to be carried to her room.
After the guests leave (handing Captain Sandy a very fat tip envelope) Hannah is suddenly BFFs with Kasey promising to give her great references. And then invites Hannah to have a glass of wine on the deck with her where she proceeds to tell her that she would bet her entire season of tips that Joao will fuck her over. While I agree, there is nothing positive at all for anyone about stating that to Brooke at this point. She’ll just have to learn the hard way,
The final tip was $20K and the total for the season was $143,500. Captain Sandy is going to take the crew to dinner for the last night. Colin did a cuter goodbye rap for the crew. At dinner Conrad tries not to have to sit with Hannah, but she manages to plop down right next to him. When Captain Sandy asks Conrad what is next for him, Brooke says, “Definitely not Prague, that’s what we know.” Bravo, Brooke that was well-timed. Hannah was not amused. Sandy picks up the tab and leaves.
Joao and Conrad make amends and hug it out. Hannah has a loud drunken conversation with Jaime about Brooke’s Prague dig. Joao rides in the girls taxi and tries to end things on a positive note with Jaime but Hannah makes it clear Jaime thinks he’s a jackoff just like she does. Hannah tells Joao she thinks he’s a sexist pig. In the guys taxi, Conrod has decided to grab his duvet and lock himself in the starboard forward cabin and hope Hannah doesn’t find him. He literally runs to lock himself up while Hannah and Brooke stay in the taxi to argue while the taxi driver waits miserably.
Drunk Hannah is ruining everyone’s last night. Drunk Brooke has her usual meltdown. Adam cooks lobster and veal meatballs for the girls while Hannah goes Conrad hunting. She eventually finds him and she’s more pathetic than Brooke. He begs her to go away and leave him alone. She does not. She keeps calling him baby and asks him if he would be jealous if she went on a male friend’s yacht who wants to have sex with her. He tells her several times it would not bother him at all. She keeps on. Then she asks if he has really gone six weeks without sex or a blowjob and he is turning it down right now? Then she tells him to take her pants off. *moaning* Then he dips back to his quarters.
During all the hugs goodbye, Joao cries saying goodbye to Captain Sandy. She tells him she would love to have him back as bosun. Le sigh.
Brooke tries several times to hug it out with Hannah. Hannah reluctantly agrees. There will be a Below Deck Reunion! Joao and Brooke seem to be leaving as a couple heading to Florence. Adam had a great season and his love of yachting is back.
Hannah and Conrad are the last two to go. Conrad seems less interested in further contact than she is. Conrad says he will never date a crewmate again. Conrad notices that people in yachting don’t have steady relationships or see their family that often. He’s reconsidering if he wants to continue in the industry. Hannah and Captain Sandy make up and it seems sincere.
On the reunion, Captain Sandy is a cunt to Conrad for literally no reason. Joao’s love triangle is called out. Andy asks Hannah if perhaps she is the problem.
Hannah – keep your $400, go to Prague, find a sugar daddy and shut up already!
The deck crew, I would happily watch again. It’s nice to see them doing their jobs in sync and enjoying it.
She’s too whiny for a Sugar Daddy and too old. She can’t resist shooting herself in the foot every time she opens her mouth. I’m glad she’s independent, but she needs to put her money away and stop buying ridiculously expensive items that she can’t live in. I feel like I’m on a Hannah tear, but she leaves me in a bad mood after every episode.
Don’t know what happened in Florence between Joao and Brooke but lots of wonderful Zimbabwe photos on their social media of the two of them with lions, elephants, etc.. Then . . . . . . NOTHING! Guess the romance ended? WTH . . . . a cruise season is 4 to 6 months and Bravo shoots these things in 6 to 8 weeks. How does one fall “head over heals” in love in just two months? Kasey was last seen floating on a blow-up pink flamingo in her family pool. :/
She dumped him somewhere along the line because she had pics of herself snuggling with some other guy on her Instagram story and Joao was having a meltdown about it on his Instagram story. This was before I learned how to screen record. On her Instagram tonight, she posted a picture of herself and some poem or something. It was odd.
Thank you for explaining what they mean by season. I have never figured out what length of time was meant and too embrassed to ask. When I hear season I just think of the calendar 4
I read last night that they are not together according to Joao
Ohm-gee…I think I feel that at 23 Conrad did what most 23 year old single males do.
He played Hannah. It was sad watching Hannah grovel and beg and try to incite a kiddo to pay attention to her. That was painful. God if he got a blowjob and took off right after and left her to wake up hungover then he was truly playing her. *gag*
I’m sorry I don’t feel the Joao hate this time. He never not pretended to be the immature slick bad boy ever. He played with both girls in front of each other at all times. Brooke was the only dumbass to take the bait. If the season was longer the rainbow brite girl would’ve been in his bedroom.
Jamie was awesome God bless a tomboy that is the song of my ppl.
Colin …Christ that man just is all around a fantastic guy. That shot of him standing in his shirt and slacks waiting to go to final dinner Smokin hot. Add his humor and humbleness and genuine authentic attitude. There was not a chick on that boat worthy of his crush. Jamie def. but there was zero attraction so they got on as friends.
I’m anxious to see the reunion it’s gonba be gnarly for Hannah and Brooke I think as well.
Bring on Capt lee and resting bitch face…
I disagree about Conrad, respectfully. He tried and tried to get away from Hannah and she hunted him down like a dog with a bone. He literally ran and hid from her. If she was begging to blow him, that’s on her.
Playing her?! He tried to hide in a guest room to avoid her and she hunted him. Did you miss that part? She woke him up and offered herself to him. He asked her to leave. But she insisted. No man will say no to a middle-of-the-night blowjob regardless who is offering it.
If a female chief stew ran away and hid to get away from a male bosun, we’d all be calling him a stalker. Hannah was wrong.
I really wish we had seen more of Jamie and Colin. They were both left out of so many things because they weren’t drama queens, and that kind of pisses me off. Joao is a tool and always will be one, don’t know what Brooke saw in him or Kasey for that matter. The box blonde does her zero favors, like none! Hannah is a hot mess! No matter what I really liked Conrad, I wish there hadn’t been the little romance between him and Hannah but whatever. He is a straight up nice guy who is pretty much what you see is what you get.
I honestly felt at the end that Joao redeemed himself in a weird sort of way. He apologized to Conrad and they hugged it out. I think he tried to apologize to Hannah but she was having no part of it. She really is dreadful and I would truly love it if they replaced her next season. It’s painfully obvious she hates what she’s doing and only still works on yachts when filming. She’s getting tips and money from Bravo for a couple of months work. She needs to go.
I completely agree. Conflict between Jaime and Joao would be entertaining because I think she sees, hears and knows what a jerky jerk he is. Colin, what can I say, production did the audience a disservice not featuring more of him. I hope they return
I’m confused about the timing. How long is the season? How long are the on the boats? Do they film the whole season?
Cruise seasons are 4 to 6 months (depending on location). Bravo films for 4 to 6 weeks. 🙂
Some of these were filmed in just two weeks. Some in eight weeks. The cruises featured are only 2-3 days. 🙂
The filming season is six weeks. The cruises are usually 2-3 days. They pay a reduced rate usually only about 20% off the normal rates. People who return for another season often get a deeper discount. They often have a hard time booking because people who can afford it don’t want to have their interruptions with the cameras. Sometimes they have to stay in the interior for overhead filming. Sometimes they have to leave for crew filming. It’s very intrusive into their trip. But some people want the TV show experience. Sometimes they don’t get a complete fill and then they do things like invite Bravo people to be on the show but they try to avoid that and now turn to friends of the captain or people who want to promote a product.
Thanks for explaining. I did not realize the season was so long. And I wanted to know “What’s the comp?” because for the money they spend who would want to put up with the drama and the scheduling and having their rude fat red-headed ass on TV.?
As I said, the comp from the yacht owner is about 20% to have it on the show although they often disguise the name of the boat.
But if they can’t get idiots to shell out 30-60 grand a day… Bravo often pays for part of it giving the guests a sort of sweet deal especially for the two day trips. This is a mega yacht so it still may cost 20-50k a day to the client. But this is six people on a private charter for 2-3 days. That’s a steal especially for this mega yacht which is how/why Adam picked up his game. And it is for six people. It’s really pretty cheap on the luxury end of things.
Thanks for the inside information!
But now I wonder who wants to spend so much money, even with the discount, for 3 meals and one night on board? Most of the guests were on board for a single night. That doesn’t seem like much of a holiday. And the boat is anchored for most of that time.
I’ll never have that kind of money but if I did, I’d want cruise to several different locations for at least nights. Or I wouldn’t even bother.
With all the luggage brought on board, I assume the cruise is only part of their vacation. I certainly wouldn’t want to spend a few days in the Mediterranean. Is this the case?
They showed another preview on WWHL and Brooke is freezing Joao out about his blatant flirting with Kasey. He actually gets up crying.
Thank you TT for the recap. I’m too exhausted to watch any more. Instead I watched reruns of Gossip Girl. Far more exciting. Will watch reunion though because I want Sandy to say something about Joao ass’ behavior, assuming she has a professional bone in her body. And I hope Hannah gets a dressing down. I’ve just got no more patience for her. She needs to get out of yachting
Right? I gave up like 4 episodes ago. It was just not a Below Deck show, it became awfull teen drama filled with nasty people doing nasty things. And Jamie and Colin, the only nice people, edited out by the production.
I may be wrong here, but isn’t it tradition that Hannah tries to hook up with a cast mate on the last night of the season. She tried it with Ben and this season Conrad. But I can’t remember the end of last season. I know she flirted with Adam but he turned her down. Was there someone else. Speaking of Adam, I have grown to adore him. Wonder what it would be like if he and Kate were working the same ship
Or see Adam as a contestant on Top Chef
Let’s review my summazation of this season:
Best of the season: the scenery
Worst of the season: everything else
Everyone was working so well by the end. If Hannah and Joao were not there and it had been Kate and Dave or Kelly or another deckie it would have been so good. Instead of featuring bitchy Hannah and asshole Joao, I wish they had shown A WHOLE LOT MORE of Colin and more Jamie. They are NOT BORING. Bravo thinks everyone likes the crappy fake drama. Production and casting should read this site. In the previews, Sandy rips Conrad. IAfter a chance to watch the show, I would expect her to rip Hannah (ciggie smoking, lying, manipulating Hannah) and Jerkoff Jezabub Joao. I liked Adam last season, but this season, I LOVE Adam. Chefs work so hard and so many hours. One more thing: It is BITCHY resting face, not resting bitch face. Everyone has a resting face; some are serene, and some are bitchy. Bring on the Stud of the Sea and BRF Kate, those are THE REAL PROS!
It is indeed RESTING BITCH FACE. not everyone’s resting face is bitchy. RBF. it’s a thing. Bitchy resting face is not.
Resting face ihas long been used to describe when you are in repose or spacing out or not focusing. “Bitchy,” or “serene,” or “goofy” are words hat modify (describe) a the resting face. Even the Urban dictionary has “resting face.” The BRF is a more newly minted term popularized by reality TV. Just as many of them began saying “squash a rumor” when it is QUASH, not squash.
You say tomato … I will say reality TV has only accelerated the Mandela affect.
Interesting fact, resting bitch face having a gender connotation has a masculine equivalent Resting As..hat Face. More difficult to change to A$$holey Resting Face but you say it how you say it.
I felt like this was just an ok season. Some storylines seemed to drag on forever – Hannah v Joao & the lust (cos it wasn’t love 😜) triangle b/t Brooke, Kasey, Joao.
Next season I would love to see Adam, Colin, and Jaime back for sure. I’m on the fence about Hannah. She came off as so desperate in the latter episodes, but I used to like her.
I definitely do not want to see Kasey, Brooke or Joao back. Maybe another version of Joao because although I don’t like him at all his type of character brings drama. It (his character type) would require some females that are a bit more relationship savvy & mature than Brooke or Kasey. IMHO.
I have to admit I enjoy when they have those awful, demanding guests!! It is interesting to see how the crew handles those type of people & how it can change the crew dynamics.
TT, how much does Bravo pay the crew?
By the last few episodes, I totally lost respect for Hannah. She is pretentious and petty. Her treatment of Conrad was horrible. I am glad he left without her.
I also was so over the Brooke, Kasey, Joao triangle. None of them is a nice person. Brooke is pathetic, Joao is pathological. Kasey is one nasty bitch. Her parents must be proud of her trying to ruin a relationship for shits and giggles.
I agree with those who said the time spent on the inter-cast drama was way over the top. We could have seen more of Italy and the Med. Even more of the crazy guests. But week after week of the crew going out drinking, smoking and fighting is very boring.
thill, you are my new best friend. We are of the same mindset regarding this season
Hannah is spent on this show. They not need to bring her entitled bitch ass back for any franchises.
Well say what you want, but Hannah carries this show. She has the perfect combination of over-confidence mixed with zero self awareness that makes her Bravo gold. That last scene with her and Conrad was just downright cringe worthy, though.
Side bar, has anyone checked out Jamie’s IG page? I don’t know if she’s lost weight since the show aired or we just never saw her in anything formfitting but girlfriend is smoking hot! I hope we see more of her. I wish they’d bring back the other British kid Max from last season of Below Deck Med – he was adorable and hilarious.
YES! Bring back Max
Hannah seemed like such a bitter, unpleasant woman last night. She walks around looking as though she has something really foul smelling right under her nose – kind of an upper lip curl. Whey did she keep on at Brooke all the time about Joao? It was obvious that Brooke didn’t want to hear any of it and would have to find out for herself, but Hannah was on her and on her and on her. Perhaps she was jealous that Brooke was leaving with Joao, and Conrad was definitely over her by then. She really tried to eff up the last evening for everyone. Still, I wouldn’t mind seeing her come back – she’s good for the drama.
When Conrad went running to the cabin and locked himself in, he should have ignored Hannah when she was banging on the door. Just tell her to go away and let her make a fool of herself. Did she really think that a last minute boink and bj would make him change his mind? She looked like a desperate woman – not something someone of her age wants to do – those were more like teenage tactics.
Loved Jamie. When she was outside on the deck and the guests were there and she joked about “coming out on the boys’ side” was she saying she’s gay? Also, the guys called her one of the boys. If she is, I wish there had been someone on board for her, although she seems far too sensible to mix her work with pleasure. I loved her down-to-earth, positive attitude, and willingness to pitch in and help with everything. To me, she was the star of the season and I’d love to see her come back.
Conrad was adorable, and definitely smart enough to realize Hannah wasn’t the one for him. He’s way too young for her and her cynical, materialistic personality. He’s gorgeous and, when he’s ready, he’ll find someone far more suited to him.
Joao is Joao – what is there to say? He has a lot of hangups and is no more ready to have one girlfriend for any length of time than the un-neutered male cat who lives next door to me. Howling at the moon and sniffing after every female in heat. He won’t be ready to settle down for a long time.
Colin is adorable, but I’m glad he didn’t get with Brooke – he can do a lot better than her. She’s stupidly running after bad boys and he wants a good girl. His family is adorable and he’ll be a real catch for someone.
Kasey never really grew on me and how did she go from being such a total, seasick, clueless loser to supposedly being fantastic at everything. To start with, once you’re prone to seasickness, you usually stay that way, and her poor attitude and fake resume didn’t make her look good. Makes me wonder if the whole seasick thing and not knowing anything was more for the television audience than what wass really going on.
I’m really up in the air about Captain Sandy – she criticizes the crew for letting emotion get in the way of doing their jobs, but she actually did the same thing when she sided dramatically with one or the other of them, without knowing all the facts.
Really looking forward to Below Deck Mediterranean – keep these shows coming, please!
I can’t stand Captain Sandy. I don’t like Hannah. Didn’t like Jao(?), Amazed at how inept the stewardess crew was. Adam can cook for me anytime. Deck crew showed great professionalism. I wondered how
Bravo got guests to interrupt their vacation and expose themselves all over TV, it would have to be one
hell of a discount. Seems to me, people that can afford to spread around $15 to $20 thousand on a tip, wouldn’t care about a discount on their fare. they must be TV hounds. Really looking forward to Captain
Lee and Katherine.
…Below Deck Tahiti…
Personally I don’t know how anyone can get involved in petty crew drama when you are surrounded by the gorgeous coast of Italy. I would be the most boring cast member because all my down time would be taking in the beautiful sights.
I am disgusted with Kasey. Joao made his choice, but Kasey persists in trying to lure away her friend’s man-at-the-time. It’s obvious Joao is a player–which, in my opinion, no girl should want–but Kasey is still trying to grab him. That shows Kasey is very foolish, selfish, and back-stabbing.
So was Brooke. The smirk she gave to Kasey after she left the table and they first kissed said all you need to know about Brooke, IMO. And if Kasey decided to give up the goods to that a-hole like Brooke, I think she could have got him, as if he were any prize.
I would love it if in an alternate universe Hannah came back and had to work for Kate. That would be so interesting.
I love Adam and hope to see more of him. He is funny and a little kooky but I like him. ‘
Colin and Jamie were great. I would like to see them work with Capt Lee, who I cannot WAIT to see again. My MDLNY is ending and I am going to be on dock until The Stud of the Sea is back!
Colin’s rap!! 😂💖😂
I never meant any negative comment about Conrad. He’s a doll babe and ions more mature emotionally than Hannah.
What I meant was he really was trying till the crazy showed up. The beauty of being 23 is you can say “Well that was a fun roll in the hay”… a 33-43 year old man would try to fix shit.
He enjoyed it ..caught the feels, then realized she’s fkn bonkers and was able to disengage.
I think he’s a sweet young man.
Hard life hard and painful parental issues and still conducted himself respectfully every step of the Hannah shit storm dance.
It was hilarious watching him trying to dodge her but honestly no 23 yr old male could resist a bliwjob at 4 am after drinking and wrapping a reality show. I hope he comes back next season. Hannah is going to be murdered at the reunion to the point she may need to go after that fat Greek shipping guy after all and disappear from Bravo. That’s a walk of shame I do not wish on the cuntiest of the broads I know.
Hannah chasing after Conrad pretty much verified that her onboard “panic attack” was a hangover. “When I fall in love with men, I pull away from them” is not hunting a guy down and blowing him. Although panic attacks often make no sense, they just “show up” whenever they want, that was the LAMEST fake excuse for one ever. I expect more from such an accomplished liar.
This last episode was hilarious. I literally could not stop laughing. From Conrad trying to avoid sitting by Hannah at dinner to him locking himself in the room with the duvet cover. Then Collin calling Hannah a dragon and acting like one. Best episode ever. Hands down.
Oh, man. I had forgotten that gem of a scene of Colin and THE DRAGON. If Colin is going there, it must be as bad with Hannah as it looked.
Hanna eventually finds him? Lol . . . . They need a BIGGER boat!
Are we not calling what Hannah did sexual assault? Forcing herself into Conrad’s cabin and presumably forcing herself onto him, even after he deliberately told her to go away. If the roles were reversed I think people wouldn’t be calling Conrad a “desperate lover” – they’d be calling him a rapist.
I think you’re right
No mention of Collin imitating Hannah as a Velociraptor hunting down Conrad?
And sorry, but Brooke is pathetic. First she was in love with some chef that she was on her last boat with, then he dumped her and she immediately set her sights on Adam who said “No Thanks” and then threw herself at Jaoa, who clearly was into Kasey but she wouldn’t put out, so Brooke will do because she will “Get Down.” Then Joao openly still flirts with Kasey, takes dick pics with her phone, and he tells Brooke he has to end Kasey’s sex drought, and Brooke just looks the other way, Now she is onto someone new. And she could have had Collin!
In case someone reads this and hates Andy Cohen and WWHL, so not set to record … On my Comcast guide, it looks as though Part 1 of the reunion is tonight and that the cast appearance on WWHL is the Part 2 (later tonight). No “official” Part 2 in my guide, and in next week’s BD-M time slot, we get a CAPT. LEE special! I’ll take that! The special is preceded by a repeat of the first part of the reunion, making it look even more as if tonight’s WWHL is the second part.
Did anybody inform Kacey that she was going to be on television? Her hair looks like Revlon’s Lightest Blonde Box colorvwhen you try to dye light brown hair. I know this because I have had that orange-bling before. It jut looks hideous.
I bet yours looked better than the olden days when dye fried your hair and colors were never predictable. Mom ended up with a pinkish orange frizz bomb. I thought the COLOR was beautiful (most of you likely are too young to remember “posh” ladies with pastel pink hair and poodles to match. Or light green, lilac, or blue). Dad, trying to make her fell better said “Oh, look, you’re a strawberry blonde!” Oops, big mistake Dad. At least Mom didn’t want to leave the house. Kasey thinks hers looks good.