The big stories this week are the two love triangles. One is Jordan, Jenna, Benoit. And the other is Joe, Kendall, Leo. Kendall finally realizes that Leo is a scuzzbucket, but Jenna seems to have a much more difficult time seeing the obvious. I now fully believe the allegations against Leo.
Also, Annaleise is in love with Camille after being devastated that whoever she was in love week left. Was it Kenny? Kenny left to go be with his kid.
Jubilee also bailed after John, the only decent catch there really told her he wasn’t interested.
Eric and Angela get a date card to a fancy hotel room. The bathtubs where full of ices and dozens of bottles of champagne. Then the butler brings in an ice cream sundae made with several gallons of ice cream and covered in candies. Then he rolls in a giant cheese plate. That would cause me to abandon the ice cream. This of course starts Eric on a voice over about the guys stupid “move with the cheese” theories. And there is a hot tub in their suite.
I want to clean up Eric’s edges. It’s driving me crazy.
Oh I forgot about the Chris, Krystal, Connor triangle. Chris planned a yoga date with Krystal. He’s an operator though so she needs to pick Connor. Actually, she deserves Chris and there has to be a better option for Connor in the house.
John is also interested in Kendall. Kendall makes out with Joe, Leo and John all want Kendall’s rose. Kendall freaks out that she kissed John because she really likes Joe. She runs off to confess to Joe.
Leo is super aggressive going into the rose ceremony. A few of the ladies offer polite toasts to the group and then Leo wants to “get real” with his toast. Oh Lord… Leo says that Annaleise was full of shit on their date. The girls tell him he can leave because he is not going to get a date. He starts to do just that but then spouts off “Good Luck With Grocey Store Bitch Over there!” And then storms out. Joe stupidly follows him and tells him to say it to his face, and Leo does. Then Leo throws a drink at him and they start to fight.
Everything seems to come down to Chelsea’s rose. Are you saying Chelsea who? Because I am.
The rose ceremony couples are…
Krystal and Chris.
Kendall and Joe.
Tia and Colton.
Jenna and Jordan. (I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE IS THIS STUPID! THIS HAS TO BE FAKE THEY ARE LIKE TWO CARTOON CHARACTERS!)
Astrid and Kevin
Annaleise and Camille
Angela and Eric
Then Chelsea has to pick from John, Benoit,or David.
She chooses John and Benoit walks away to cry. Benoit cries in the car about how he got dumped twice. Coming up next a bunch of hot girls are coming in. Eric goes on a date with one of them.
Olivia comes in first. She was on Arie’s season. I don’t remember her, but being on Arie’s season lets me know she is crazy. Oh wait, she left the first night. So maybe she is sane. Arie seemed to love crazy. She and Joe are both from Chicago. After talking to Joe and Camille who are claimed. She discovers that John is not attached to anyone. So she takes him on a date.
Olivia and John go to a quinceañera. It was quite a fancy occasion for a fifteen year old girl’s birthday party. They had a great time and there was kissing. John always appears to have a good time on the dates. Then he continues to look for the next best thing.
Next we have Cassandra from Pablo’s season. I think she was the single mom who was a bit out there. She looked terrible until the fixed her hair and makeup and then she looked great. She pulls Colton first he says he is taken. She ended up on a date with Eric and Angela is none too happy about that. Also, Eric tells all the girls they have nice teeth. Angela is way prettier and Cassandra. She is way out of Eric’s league.
Oh for the love of GOD. Monday’s episode is three hours. I think Ashley I is back to get engaged and they marry on the island. Colton and Tia’s relationship explodes. Maybe he admits he is gay? Angela loses her mind and so does Eric. Annaliese accuses new girl Shoshanna of practicing with craft to steal Camille from her.
FIVE HOURS NEXT WEEK? I’m not sure I can do it. I’m going to need all the crying screenshots for the upcoming week because everyone is a basket case.