This week it is a time for a quick three day trip to Turks and Caicos to celebrate Hannah’s birthday. Everyone is going. After twelve minutes of spray tanning and packing, we finally get to Turks & Caicos.
First stop is The Conch Shack. There they run into Robin, Hannah’s friend. Rum punches all around. Lyle was drunk in the morning when he arrived at the airport and has been drinking nonstop since. He made some sort of joke about Hannah being back on her knees in no time. It didn’t land well with anyone. Louis drove all night from Orlando to get to the airport. He did really well at the show generating six figures in revenue. If that is true, that’s amazing. Louis jokes about Hannah wanting the money to go toward her ring. Why is everyone so snarky toward the birthday girl and pretend hostess? Hannah says the theme of the weekend is “Yes.” Lyle and Catherine are already flirting,
I could have missed the conch penis eating scene and been just fine about it.
The house they are staying at is perfect. It’s right on the ocean. You literally step out the back door on to the beach. Brandon was funny trying on all of Catherine’s clothes. Louis is so exhausted he can hardly keep his eyes open. He falls asleep before dinner. Hannah brought supplies for the hurricane relief efforts there. Everyone keeps pestering Louis to get up and go to dinner. Let the poor guy sleep! Hannah is pissed.
At the dinner table, they decide to just air all their grievances about each other. Does know one understand proper dinner conversation anymore? It’s a birthday celebration. Why not say something you like about the birthday girls.
Brandon of all people kicks of the Negative Nancy game by telling Lyle that he thinks he is extremely verbally and mentally abusive toward Catherine. Really Brandon? Hagood says that Lyle is not abusive. Are we really going to have another discussion on abuse on two shows in a row? I agree with Hagood. I think Catherine has the most fault in her relationship with Lyle. Daniel says that any abuse toward Catherine is a reaction of Catherine’s abuse toward Lyle. Lyle just wants the conversation to change so he agrees with Brandon in an effort to move on from this topic. Daniel is irritated that Lyle is taking the blame. We didn’t even get to hear about the special dessert the restaurant has. Ridiculous.
Most of the gang stayed up until six am and Brandon got them all up at ten. Lyle and Catherine go for a walk on the beach. Lyle apologizes to Catherine.
Hannah, her sister Hillary, and Robin go to meet Hannah’s mom for bloody Marys. Hannah tells her mom that Louis wants to get engaged this year. Her mom says Louis seems to be stringing her along. She also points out that they were just “on a break” a few months ago. Then they start talking about Hannah’s parents divorce. Robin has to fly home early.
It’s time for a booze cruise! Brandon goes skinny dipping with the dolphins. Louis and Hannah talk about their relationship. Hannah seems to have been emboldened by her talk with her mother to tell Louis how he is not meeting her expectations. Louis points out that Hannah is asexual. He says she never even touches him and tells her she needs to work on that.
Louis says that he has spoken her love language for five years and it doesn’t make any difference because she never reciprocates. Louis says she needs to go find a guy who likes being told what to do all the time and in not interested in intimacy. I agree. This relationship needs to end.
To be continued…
Next time, Louis seems to leave the island. Daniel tells Lyle he is in love with someone who doesn’t give a crap about him. Hagood’s parents want her to come home. Catherine told Hannah that Louis goes to the casinos to find hookers. Catherine approaches Lyle with a ring box.
How is it possible to be so miserable in the Turks and Caicos? How?