For the next three weeks I won’t be able to record BB20 on my DVR as RHONY is happening in this time slot and MasterChef is running two-hour episodes and I love me some Masterchef.
We start with Fessie’s stupid as fuck nominations. Scottie is as dumbstuck by Fessie’s stupidity as we are. Even Hayleigh knows that Fessie just ruined her game. Fessie makes it clear he did it because he was jealous over her relationship with Scottie.
I think half the chips in the veto bag say Tyler.
ZINGBOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am more excited than the houseguests! Me and Tyler feel the same way.
People say robots are heartless, emotionless and soulless. Did I say robots? I meant Angela! ZING!
Hayleigh, I have a question for you. What do you call someone who is blond, blue-eyed and has a crush on Brett? Scottie! ZING! (This one made no sense to me. Scottie is clearly in love with Hayleigh)
Kaycee! You have all the Big Brother watchers shouting, “Let’s Go!!”… To another channel! ZING!
Brett, you always seem so fresh and clean, which makes sense because you’re a giant douche! ZING!
Welcome to Big Brother Burger, Can I take your order? Yes! I’d like something extra greasy, burnt to a crisp with a side of zits! Sounds like you want the Tyler! ZING! (wow that was kind of harsh actually)
Fessie, I was surprised to learn you were a part-time teacher. Considering you’re a full-time moron! ZING! Every child left behind! ZING! (Fessie did not handle this well from the beginning and the entire house including Hayleigh laughing their ass off way more than any other Zing was incredible.)
JC The only thing thicker than your accent is your back hair! ZING!
Hayleigh, you were so good reading Hamlet but the real Shakespearean tragedy was your HOH reign. ZING!
Sam you love to tell everyone how real you are (I’ve paused to type and the houseguests are all slackjawed already) you are real. Real fucking crazy! (everyone loses their minds over this. Level six is all behind her dying. Level six is literally seeking shelter behind the kitchen bar in case she attacks Zingbot. JC is sitting next to Sam and tells her, “You’re not crazy! You just have some bad moments!” Sam doesn’t like that either.
As we know it’s Hide and Go Veto. Scottie has said he doesn’t plan to watch the season. (I doubt he will stick to that) He says he wants to watch this episode to see what people did inside the house,
Hayleigh says she is going to take Scottie off if she wins. Brett won by hiding it in a pillow? Really? OMG Tyler says he hid his veto in a pair of Sam’s pants because, “I don’t think anyone has the guts to go into Sam’s pants.” Angela hides her veto in the oven and covers it with coffee grounds. Scottie hides his veto behind the drawers of the bathroom vanity. I can’t believe he didn’t win.
Brett covers his pillow with mattresses. Scottie pours liquids all over the floor to keep people from getting on the floor. So many people wiped out. It was great.
Tyler finds Angela’s. Scottie finds Tyler’s. Fessie finds Hayleigh’s. Scottie finds Fessie’s. Hayleigh found Scotties! These fools can’t catch a break. This sucks.
Time for the Sam meltdown. Man. They don’t even show it. They just show her general stupidity in conversations with others. I didn’t know that Scottie was the one who planted the seed against Hayleigh. They do show the stupid conversation Sam had with Fessie about putting Hayleigh up. Then Scottie says to put Hayleigh up because she is Kaitlyn 2.0. What a dumb move Scottie.
They seriously are not going to end with the veto meeting? We all know Kaycee goes up. Looks like a double eviction next week.
What were your favorite Zings?