First of all the ladies really hit the mark with dresses this season. Every single one, even Carole got it right this season. Ramona starts directing the cameraman right away and insists that they switch couches because she has a very bruised left cheek. Is that from the car accident? Did someone knock her out? Will Andy address this? Then when everyone is forced to move, Ramona shouts for someone to get her water and her purse for her. I feel badly when I let the grocery bagger take my groceries out and there is a line. Ramona would probably ask the cashier to close down and come out and help load the car too.
Sonja starts off the product promotion right at the introduction. Her dress is Sonja By Sonja Morgan and $149 on her website. I wonder how much it is at Target? Dorina is in Jovanni. Right when Andy was telling the casuals that Luann is in rehab and can’t make it, Carole’s phone rings and she says “Oh, shit, sorry Andy.” And he will be pissy with her for the rest of the episode.
Bethenny says she is loving her new apartment. She and Bryn are very happy with it. Ramona has put her apartment on the market. Since her daughter moved out, it’s kind of lonely and too big for her. Andy asks Carole if she and Adam are still “doing coffee” and she says no they are just friends. Tinsley likes her new haircut. Dorinda has hired a trainer to train her four times a week. Sonja has figured out that oysters are not vegetables.
We get a look at their numerous fashion don’ts of the season. I’m bored by the Halloween costume discussion. Let’s move along, Andrew.
Dorinda goes to church with Lady Gaga’s mother? That’s the most interesting thing so far. I am missing Big Brother for this and could not even tape it because of Master Chef. AND IT’S THE ZINGBOT EPISODE!
Dorinda is already drunk and muttering during Bethenny’s package about supporting other women. Andy says he was really surprised that Bethenny went to Bobby Zarin’s Funeral. Ramona who is on the wrong couch whispers over to the other couch and says, “opportunistic.” Bethenny says she was in Aspen when she got the news and she decided she would probably regret not going if she didn’t go, so she did. She says at the funeral all the jokes about Bobby and Jill brought back old memories. She talked to Jill for a bit and then when she left she wanted to go back so she got out and talked to Jill again. She says since then they have been texting.
Ramona doesn’t even let her finish speaking before she is jumping down Bethenny’s throat about what was “bizarre.” She thinks it was terrible that Bethenny’s second interaction with Jill was filmed. Andy points out the Jill asked for the cameras to come. He also says he is glad that Bethenny filmed with Jill just LIKE JILL WANTED. Who funeral shames people for how they grieve with others? People who are butt hurt they didn’t get camera time at the funeral. Can we drink every time that Ramona says opportunistic? It’s like she has a new word. Sadly, I don’t have any wine tonight. Apparently, Ramona has been instructed that her part of the Bethenny Takedown Plan is to interrupt Bethenny with her own stories every time Bethenny is asked a question. Jill is dating someone who dated Ramona three times.
When they talk about Bethenny’s charity work she thanks all the ladies for their support and she appreciates that they all contributed whether they liked her or hated her. Then Carole, Dorinda and Ramona all start talking over each other about how they don’t hate her. Liars, all. And Carole tries several times to get someone to acknowledge that she was her biggest supporter.
Ramona says Bethenny is always saying nasty things about the other girls. Well, most of the time they deserve it. Production plays years of nasty things that Ramona has said and done to Bethenny. It’s appalling seeing them all together.
Andy moves on to the nutcracker story. Everyone is overtalking Bethenny. Andy finally says to Dorinda and Carole, “I want to hear her fucking answer and then you can respond!” Finally. Dorinda admits that Bethenny did thank her several times but it was all off camera. WTF? She has to be thanked on camera fo it to be valid? Bethenny asks Dorinda why it is all about her and not her daughter getting the present she wanted?
Bethenny is asked why she didn’t support Ramona’s skincare line. One good reason is it doesn’t exist but Bethenny says, since the beginning Ramona has had TruRenewal, True Faith, wine, hair extensions, a restaurant venture that never existed, Ramona and the girls lose there shit over the fake restaurant venture. It was TOTALLY FAKE. Bethenny says that Ramona is currently desperate to find a lab to whip up some product for the lastest one. It doesn’t exist. She says Ramona has been criticizing Sonja for he fake businesses for years. All the bitches lose their minds because Bethenny has talked about Sonja’s fake businesses for years. You remember, with her BFFs Carole and Dorinda. Bethenny says that now Sonja has actual product (well sort of) and she speaks at women’s conferences and she thinks it is a disservice to pretend on the show that it’s just so easy to start a business. I agree. Ramona is screaming like a banshee and she literally put her hands on Sonja’s mouth to keep her from speaking. I would have broken her arm for that just as a natural reflex.
This is totally the Ramona show. She refuses to shut up. Remind me to get wine for the rest of these recaps. I think they make more sense after a few bottles of wine.
Speaking of drunk, we get a Dorinda montage. Dorinda watching from the stage is grinning from ear to ear. That is the part I don’t get. How does this not embarrass her? Dorinda talks about Bethenny saying she’s a drunk. Andy wants Bethenny to answer about whether or not she this Dorinda has a drinking problem and Dorinda says things like “you better watch yourself.” Bethenny says that she has already been through one intervention this weekend (with Luann) and it’s not her place to do another one here.
Bethenny admits she has called Dorinda out on her drinking the most this season and she tried to do it in a constructive manner. Carole says calling someone a drunk is not constructive. Bethenny says neither is calling someone a narcissist but Carole has done it to her all season behind her back and in her hate-filled blogs. Carole says she calls it like she sees it. Bethenny says so does she. Andy starts telling Dorinda how funny her alcoholism was on the boat with Luann when she couldn’t even speak. Dorinda laughs and nudges Carole and says she brings the entertainment. Finally, Bethenny has to point out that this is not a laughing matter. Andy says there are times like in Mexico where she got drunk and stabbed herself in the hand and in Puerto Rico at the business meeting where it’s not funny. Andy ask a soft shoe question to Dorinda wondering if she has a relationship with alcohol that sometimes unhealthy. She laughs and laughs and says that she does absolutely. She can’t hold her liquor. Ramona tells her she has two drinks and she is slurring her words. Carole blames it on her big tongue. This is delusional. We see how much she drinks on camera after predrinking before she gets there. Now she is saying she was depressed. Bethenny and Sonja talk about her drinking in the morning. We saw that in Colombia. She is denying it.
Dorinda goes on to say that Bethenny says mean things about her in her confessional. Bethenny says snarky things. Yes. But Dorinda and Ramona and Carole or vicious. Andy asks more pointedly this time, “So you don’t think you have a problem with alcohol?”
And that is where it ends. I don’t think Tinsley said three words and was almost never on camera.
Next time, Dorinda claims she was not drunk in Colombia when she attacked Luann! All the girls knew that Luann was drinking. Tinsley speaks. The Carole and Bethenny war begins in earnest.