Colin is actually getting a storyline tonight! I’m sure it will be brief but I’ll take what I can get. I really hate this group of guests. They are almost as bad as those terrible women. Brooke tells Hannah that she feels like she is doing all of the work. She cries cleaning up the dinner tables and Conrad comes to give her a hug. Conrad seems over Hannah as well. Casey tells Hannah she also thinks they do everything.
The weather is perfect so Captain Sandy feels confident taking the boat out. This guest reading Wayne Dyer motivational books out loud is killing me. Make it stop.
Hannah sits down with the stews to set them straight on a few things. Hannah says the fact that the guests have had no complaints all season shows that she is doing a good job. Then we get a montage of Hannah fuckups and a talking head of a flabbergasted Brooke. One could argue that the reason for the guests satisfaction is because of Brooke. Brooke says Hannah is ridiculously deluded.
The guests are getting to Hannah. She tells Adam if she hears one more positive affirmation she’s going to shoot herself in the head. I feel the same way. These people are fake as fuck. Hannah screws up an intricate service by forgetting which dish was dairy free. shouldnt’ Adam have put a sprig of parsley or something on that place to make it clear?
The primary takes his batshit crazy annoying behavior up few notches and wants the crew to break a steel tipped arrow on their necks. Um, noe. That doesn’t free them from what is holding them back, that injures their fucking necks. But the fools do it.
Hannah has been pissed with Conrad ever since she saw him comforting Brooke, aka the enemy. She’s let it fester for over 24 hours and now they are about to talk. Conrad says he doesn’t take sides. He says he always has her back though. Hannah says he didn’t last night he was comforting Brooke! Conrad says everything he does and says she takes as a personal attack on her. Hannah has a whole laundry list of times that Conrad didn’t stand up for her. Conrad says he walks around on eggshells wondering when the next attack from Hannah will come. He gets up and walks away.
Colin’s mom calls Captain Sandy to tell her she and her husband are in Naples and just want to say hi to their baby. In other unexpected news, Captain Sandy complimented Hannah on doing her job.
It’s time for the guests to leave and the primary gives another speech of inspiration and aspiration. The tip worked out to $1,166 each. This is for two days of work. I’m always astounded when they grouse about the tip. Brooke fumes when Captain Sandy compliments Hannah this week and says it’s not the first time Hannah has taken credit for her work.
Colin reunites with his parents like he’s a refugee child reuniting with his parents in a border control facility. Too soon? Seriously. It was just that emotional. He gets to give them a tour of the boat. Best Colin scene ever.
When the crew goes out on shore leave, Colin asks Adam and Colin to sit across from him and next to him on the end so that Hannah can’t berate him the entire dinner. He needs a break. Hannah is talking to the girls about giving them her black book full of rich men’s numbers when she gives it all up to marry a 23-year-old English boy. They are clearly not on the same page as Colin doesn’t even want to talk to her.
At dinner, the guys are able to pull of the seating chart but Hannah sits across from Adam and next to Colin so she’s still right there in the mix. The Hannah asks to swap places with Colin so she can be on the end of the table (across from Conrad) and smoke a cigarette. Joao is openly flirting with Kasey and gawking at her boobs at the dinner table while Brooke looks on. This is what you signed up for Brooke. This is your strong chemistry that you think you have with Joao. Then he starts feeding Kasey across the table. Brooke tells Joao that she wants someone who is into her and when she gets a hint that is not the situation then it’s over. Jesus, girl! He gives you fifty hints a day and you give him this same speech once a day. Buy a vowel and solve the puzzle!
Conrad and Hannah go to the dock to smoke. They have the same argument they always have. Hannah is a materialistic bitch and Conrad wants a nice down to earth girl. Conrad says they are too totally different people and it’s never going to work.
Next week’s guests seem even more awful a father and two spoiled daughters out spending daddies money after their mother has died. The may get tattoos. I can’t. The vocal fry alone exhausts me. Colin tells Brooke he’s been infatuated with her the entire season. She won’t care, he’s a good guy and she likes dating assholes. Joao continues to flirt with Kasey and annoy Brooke. Conrad and Hannah have the same old arguments.