Tamara Tattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade.

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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Dennis Shields Has Died Of Apparent Overdose

Dennis Shields Has Died Of Apparent Overdose

August 10, 2018 by tamaratattles 261 Comments

UPDATE 1 

TMZ is reporting that the maid showed up at 9 a.m. and found Dennis overdosing. He sent her to the pharmacy for Narcan and she tried to give it to him but it was too late. She should have called 911 immediately. I bet she is devastated today.  The whole “assistant” thing seemed weird to me. This makes more sense. ds

In other news, E! who is part of the Bravo family is running a “Sources Said” about Bethenny being devastated. That seems so exploitative. Of course Bethenny is devastated. Why would you use that as click bait?

UPDATE 2

US MAGAZINE BEING ASSHOLES

I opened my laptop to a flood of emails this afternoon about Dennis Shields being found dead in his 42nd floor apartment in Trump Tower this morning.

Multiple outlets report that Bethenny Frankel’s on again off again boyfriend on prescription painkillers and that “an assistant” attempted to revive him but was unsuccessful.  The assistant allegedly attempted to revive him with Narcan which reverses the effects of opioids but it was too late.

Bethenny was at her home in the Hamptons this week. On the last episode of RHONY Bethenny and Dorinda talked about the men in their lives and Bethenny said she was on a 90 day no contact period with Dennis. That would have begun sometime in mid February after the trip to Cartagena and ended in May, She was struggling with the idea that although she loved him, she didn’t think he was the right person for her. She talked about living out her life in that beautiful new apartment alone.

Dennis leaves behind his ex-wife Jill and their three children. Jill issued a statement that Dennis will always be the love of her life and his spirit will live on through their children.

I hope that there is someone with Bethenny during this very sad time.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News, RHONY Tagged With: Bethenny Frankel, Dennis Shields, Entertainment News, Real Housewives of New York, RHONY

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Gretch says

    August 10, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    Terrible!!!

    Reply
  2. Bren says

    August 10, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    Tragic! This may truly put Bethenny over the edge. RIP Dennis. Sincere condolences to his family. Poor kids

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:38 pm

      That was my first thought, too. Love her or hate her (is there really an in-between opinion when it comes to Bethenny?), I think the stress of his sudden death will likely be more than she can handle, with everything else she’s dealing with. I was also unaware that Dennis was still married, so I can’t imagine how it must feel for Bethenny to see/hear statements in the press from his estranged wife regarding his death, as well. It’s my understanding that Dennis’s estranged wife had been a friend of Bethenney’s when she and Dennis began dating, so it will likely be a very awkward scene if they both attend the funeral. Wishing peace to his loved ones and friends…

      Reply
      • Librarygirl says

        August 10, 2018 at 9:51 pm

        The article clearly states that Jill was his ex wife. I feel terrible for Beth, Dennis was a friend. My thoughts are with his children.

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 12:36 am

          My apologies- I wasn’t clear. I read that Dennis and his estranged wife were still legally separated, so that’s all I meant by “still married.”

          Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 12:37 am

          My apologies- I wasn’t clear. I read elsewhere that Dennis and his estranged wife were still legally separated, so that’s all I meant by “still married.”

          Reply
          • Janet says

            August 12, 2018 at 12:29 pm

            I believe youre correct. Everything Ive read does not mention divorce only seperation, and Jill called him her husband in her statement. I think they never actually divorced, but were not together as a couple.

            Reply
      • Evan says

        November 15, 2019 at 3:13 pm

        No it will not be awkward at all. “B” & Dennis’ estranged wife talk to each other & are amicable.

        Reply
    • Lynn says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:57 pm

      What do you mean by “over the edge”?

      Reply
      • Daintyfeets says

        August 14, 2018 at 8:18 pm

        Do you really need to have that statement clarified? I can come up with a 100 scenarios, off the top of my head, to describe going “over the edge.”

        Reply
  3. JustJenn says

    August 10, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    I really feel bad for Bethenny. It’s apparent that’s she’s been going through a rough time lately and now the sudden loss of Dennis is really going to hit her hard. It’s a sad situation 🙁

    Reply
  4. LiveOakShade says

    August 10, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Heartbreaking as I know she loved and respected him a lot. So glad for her sake they are not filming right now. Sadly, I think this will be a game changer in her life.

    Reply
    • Lynn says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:59 pm

      Game changer? What does that mean??

      Reply
      • Justsotired says

        August 10, 2018 at 6:24 pm

        Why are responding to comments with stupid questions? “What do you mean over the edge?” ‘What do you mean game changer?”

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 10, 2018 at 7:17 pm

          Justsotired – thank you for saying JUST what I was thinking! That made me laugh! Unless English isn’t someone’s primary language, I think meaning of these common idioms should be pretty clear.

          Reply
          • Lynn says

            August 11, 2018 at 1:30 am

            I was seriously just asking a question..no shade a all but apparently it triggered some major shit ,
            That is on your …not me.

            YA

            Reply
            • Jim says

              August 11, 2018 at 4:00 am

              No it’s not. It’s on you. You asked stupid questions twice in a row. What are people supposed to think?

            • Dex Pie says

              August 14, 2018 at 12:39 am

              There’s no such thing as a stupid question.

          • tamaratattles says

            August 14, 2018 at 1:16 am

            Aw… I’m sure a teacher somewhere told you that. She/he lied.

            Reply
        • Marie says

          August 10, 2018 at 7:58 pm

          #HiPeggy

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            August 10, 2018 at 9:51 pm

            I was just coming to post a Peggy comment. I laughed in a death thread. I feel kinda bad but I needed the laugh today.

            Reply
          • Librarygirl says

            August 10, 2018 at 9:54 pm

            Got it, lol!

            Reply
        • ravynrobyn says

          August 10, 2018 at 10:40 pm

          Thanks! You said it nicer than I would have.

          Reply
  5. DalaiMama says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:00 pm

    Good Lord. I hope this isn’t the straw that breaks the camel’s back for B. She’s had a lot of loss.

    Reply
    • JentheAUfan says

      August 10, 2018 at 10:33 pm

      **pretending to be Lynn #hipeggy
      Are you telling me that straws kill camels now too? And why why why have a camel with such a limp back that a tiny plastic straw will kill it???

      Reply
      • ravynrobyn says

        August 10, 2018 at 10:42 pm

        OK, having a stupid moment….Peggy who?

        Reply
        • SD says

          August 10, 2018 at 10:46 pm

          From RH of Orange County. Pretended not to understand English idioms.

          Reply
          • Carrie says

            August 11, 2018 at 12:40 am

            #hipeggy made me snort!

            Reply
          • beekay says

            August 12, 2018 at 11:25 am

            Yet had a degree IN ENGLISH from UCLA!!!!!

            Reply
      • Lynn says

        August 11, 2018 at 1:37 am

        WTF is your problem?

        Reply
        • NancyintheSmokiesam says

          August 11, 2018 at 6:35 pm

          Go away!!!

          Reply
      • Something Clever says

        August 12, 2018 at 1:14 pm

        OMG, that’s awesome!!!!

        Reply
      • Daintyfeets says

        August 14, 2018 at 8:21 pm

        Missing the “Like” button. So … LIKE

        Reply
  6. gluedtothepc says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    Was reading on Twitter that Dennis is the one Michael Cohen contacted to get out when the Trump fire was happening. Some other interesting stuff there about Dennis’ business(es) too. Things that make you go hmmm… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Reply
    • Just_A_Thought says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:20 pm

      I see what you’re saying but maybe we can just put that aside for a second, this man just passed away.

      Reply
    • srt_3 says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:34 pm

      I am sorry…not sure how to take this comment. My first reaction is that you are vilifying a man who just died. I am hoping that is not correct….

      Reply
      • gluedtothepc says

        August 10, 2018 at 4:56 pm

        I’m sorry if my comment was insensitive – I certainly feel for his family, friends and other close associates at this time! I’ve also been following the TrumpRussia stuff pretty closely for two years, though, and find several things about Dennis, his connections, his business, etc. interesting. If there was anything untoward about his death, I think that should be brought to light. If my comment above needs to be removed for the time being, I am fine with that because I don’t want to cause distress to anyone who might be offended by it.

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:29 pm

          FWIW, I found your comment interesting. There have been comments on other sites that mentioned the same thing, but in a rather accusatory and cold-hearted way. I didn’t read your comment as anything other than as an interesting bit of information, perhaps only a coincidence.

          Kudos to you, gluedtothepc and srt_3 , for having a civil exchange about this. This kind of thing seems to start an out and out flame war between people on a lot of other places online.

          Reply
        • JiilyAnne says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:47 pm

          Even the dang Democrat Senators are coming out and saying there is no Trump/Russia collusion – not sure what any of that has to do with Dennis’ death at all either – my guess is zero. I feel so badly for Bethenny because I truly believe she did love him, but I think she has had a really hard time committing to anyone after her awful marriage to Jason, which I totally get/understand, given my history of extremely poor judgment in men without even realizing that men are not truthful human beings a lot more than I care to acknowledge. I’m so sorry for his ex and their children and for Bethenny too. Who knows, maybe now, if they do decide to add Jill Zarin back into the cast now that Carole either quit or got fired, this will give the two of them something to bond over and perhaps that friendship could be restored and something good could come out of this tragedy.

          Reply
          • HarlynChicago says

            August 10, 2018 at 6:58 pm

            which democrat senators are you referring to? smh

            Reply
            • Carrie says

              August 10, 2018 at 7:32 pm

              HarlynChicago – I’m also smh. Perhaps those who receive their information from a single news source might believe this to be true… but the rest of the world isn’t saying that at all. 🙂 I minored media studies in college (nation’s premier program in this field, back in the day, and the program was actually graduate/master’s level), and I can’t believe how common it is to be so manipulated these days.

              So here’s my friendly PSA: Folks- if your primary news source mainly tells you ONLY what you want to hear, it’s probably propaganda, (or highly biased at minimum) and you should probably change the channel from time to time! Not hearing opinions that differ from your own beliefs can lead us to live in “bubbles” and gradually become more extreme in our beliefs… and less empathetic toward one another. Ok, end of my PSA. Carry on… 😉

            • Cat37 says

              August 12, 2018 at 3:48 pm

              Thank you and Carrie. Facts are pesky annoyances for those inside the bubble. And the bubble folks literally do not know because they’re in that bubble of an alternate universe. Self-imposed though it may be.

            • Deb Flensborg says

              August 14, 2018 at 12:06 am

              Thanks for the rational comments to appear. Thanks Carrie! Very well said.

          • Psylocke says

            August 12, 2018 at 6:12 pm

            So if the sheer amount of evidence that has been revealed about Russia’s interference and Trump’s willing collusion with Putin was instead applied to Obama — would you be sticking your head in the sand and pretending like it’s not happening? Or would you be marching with pitchforks?

            I don’t understand the blind dedication to a political party wherein you are literally living in a fantasy world.

            Regardless it was Trump, Obama, or my own family, I would be disgusted by the MASSIVE amount of corruption that has flooded D.C. due to Russia. They are literally trying to infiltrate America and half of the population just doesn’t care. ALL of our parents/grandparents would be rolling in their graves knowing a US president is working with a hostile foreign government.

            Reply
            • Ktina says

              August 14, 2018 at 11:46 am

              Thank you, thank you, thank you!

        • 2tall4u2 says

          August 10, 2018 at 6:22 pm

          Agreed. I bet he’s associated with some of the Michael Cohen shit that’s going down. Might be a reason why he took so many pills. When part of your assistant’s duties is to keep Narcan on hand — somethings not right and frankly, she should’ve alerted his wife about this crap. Clearly it wasn’t the first time he’s OD’d.

          Reply
          • SD says

            August 10, 2018 at 7:37 pm

            No, that’s not clear at all, and your baseless speculations have been proved false by further info emerging.

            Reply
          • Jane says

            August 10, 2018 at 7:52 pm

            2tall, Go fuck yourself!

            Reply
            • sliceo'pie says

              August 10, 2018 at 8:58 pm

              So much for the respectful exchange Carrie congratulated people for -above.

            • Calipatti says

              August 10, 2018 at 10:51 pm

              ^^ this ^^
              perfect …

            • Carrie says

              August 11, 2018 at 12:44 am

              sliceo’pie and Calipatti – 😉

    • GLH says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:51 pm

      The only thing thats making me go “hmmm…” is why you’re putting negative energy out there about a dead man? Maybe one day you’ll read all about karma on Twitter ?

      Reply
      • gluedtothepc says

        August 10, 2018 at 5:05 pm

        I may have jumped the gun in sharing information without seeming sensitive to any initial feelings of people reading this. I stated that above, why I posted what I did, and also said I’d be fine with my post being removed. FWIW, I don’t believe in karma, but I do believe in apologizing when I cause hurt.

        Reply
        • TAT says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:17 pm

          I feel bad for those left behind. But people don’t turn into saints upon death and while it might be soon to question the way he lived his life, if it’s true it’s out there. So yeah. I’m not sure this is a karma issue.

          Reply
          • Carrie says

            August 10, 2018 at 5:43 pm

            Again kudos to you gluedtothepc! You clearly didn’t have any malicious intent with your comment, since you are handling the handling criticism with so much grace,

            And I completely ageee with you, TAT. We are all human in life, and in death- no saints here,

            I didn’t read anything negative at all in the original comment, and I certainly don’t think gluedtothepc was trying to be hurtful. I don’t understand the need for anyone to “pile on” or try to start a fight over something that isn’t an obviously vicious comment.

            It’s too easy to attribute intentions and emotions to words we see online. We don’t have the ability to see the other person, or hear the tone of voice someone might use if the conversation were taking place face to face. That’s why I think we should always slow down, not read into what someone else is saying, and give each other the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. Life’s too short to think the worst in others or to get upset about something that isn’t obviously worth it.

            Reply
            • TAT says

              August 10, 2018 at 9:21 pm

              Beautifully put.

        • GLH says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:35 pm

          I don’t know whether you set out to be a dick, and I’m gonna take your word on it that you weren’t of that intent but writing that on a post paying respects to a guy is at least dick adjacent imo. He might have been shady af but I’m sure you have your bad points like everyone else and probably wouldn’t want someone writing them on a post about your death. That’s all my point was ?

          Reply
        • Cat37 says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:38 pm

          You said what you thought off the top of your head and people should be allowed to have an opinion, although it’s understandable to say it’s a wee bit soon, which you did later say. Unless his wife or kids are on this site, perhaps some can spare the sanctimony.

          Reply
          • trixie says

            August 10, 2018 at 7:36 pm

            Thank you! I was just wondering if I had wandered onto the funeral home’s memorial page. I find the information interesting and am off to jump down the rabbit hole.

            No more “likes” button?

            Reply
          • GLH says

            August 10, 2018 at 7:40 pm

            Oh yes, speak shit about some guy that’s literally JUST died as long as his loved ones don’t read it. So that’s how it is? Oh and I gave my opinion back, as I should “be allowed to”. ?

            Reply
            • tamaratattles says

              August 10, 2018 at 10:06 pm

              You are having a meltdown about nothing. Dennis was living in Trump Tower and was close with many of Trumps allies. It’s not disrespectful to mention that.

            • GLH says

              August 11, 2018 at 3:52 am

              Its nothing to do with the Trump stuff TT, it was the latter half of the OP that was imo shitty. Anyway the OP and me cleared that up, not that they needed to apologise.

        • Ktina says

          August 14, 2018 at 11:51 am

          Feelings of who? His family isn’t reading this thread and not many people know who Dennis Shields is. So too soon to talk about Stalin?

          Reply
      • Stephanie says

        August 10, 2018 at 5:43 pm

        Karma is defined as action (from delusions of this world such as pride ignorance greed etc) NOT fate. The intention of Glued didn’t sound mean spirited but that is just my meaningless opinion

        Reply
        • HiKitty says

          August 10, 2018 at 7:24 pm

          Uhh…. it doesn’t matter whether the intent was malicious, it’s absolute b.s. to speak about someone who JUST died in this context – I don’t care how many “internet” comments you read that gave you that impression/association about him & this politeness about it in the comments excusing it is ridiculous. Sorry, you just don’t put that sort of thing out there about the deceased… esp. on the day they died. What if it was your family/friend? I don’t even know anything about the guy outside of this website & the one time I saw him on tv, but it’s gross, sorry. Him being associated w/ Trump (even if it’s just living in Trump Tower) doesn’t make it okay.

          Reply
          • trixie says

            August 12, 2018 at 12:39 am

            Your comment makes no sense. If it was someone’s loved one I hardly think they would be slogging through an entertainment site. You could just go over to his memorial page…………………………………..

            Reply
  7. ZenTrying says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    Truly terrible. How sad for his children.
    Like you said, I hope someone is with Bethenny too.

    Reply
    • Hi Kitty says

      August 10, 2018 at 7:31 pm

      I recently started following her on Instagram after her relief efforts in Guatemala, she has friends but 95% of the time is alone w/ her dogs and she posts A LOT. Like she shows up in my stories every time, it’s always long, she’s aways by herself and can’t seem to even watch a movie w/o posting so it’s occurred to me more than once that’s it’s a bit odd and lonely. Something seems up & if it were my friend, I’d be concerned. Anywho, she posted that Lu sent her a gift basket yesterday so hopefully they’re in touch and she has some support. Very sad for her.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 10, 2018 at 9:49 pm

        Hi Kitty – (love your name!) That’s really sad to hear! And if you really think of it, nearly all the people we see with Bethenney on TV are being paid to be with her (her drivers, personal assistants, folks who work for her companies and her “B Strong” charity, and her fellow Bravo castmates). I hope she has friends and a good support system somewhere behind the scenes… we all should have people who care for us, and for whom we can show love. Your comment was insightful, and made me think of Bethenney in a much different way!

        Whether I always agree with her or not, it is very sad, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I hope it’s just the way things appear, and that her life isn’t really like that. I can definitely envy her financial wealth, but not the rest of her life- there is no amount of money that would make a life of near-solitude a truly happy one. And I’ll say this to anyone who blames her for being “all alone”— if loneliness could be her “fault,” because of driving people away by being not-always-so-nice, it’s important to remember that her behaviors may be coming from a place of emotional pain, insecurity, or perhaps a mood/personality disorder. It still wouldn’t make anyone deserve a life of loneliness.

        Hi Kitty- Thank you for opening my eyes to the possibility that she may be alone way more than she might like. I’ve seen her on TV for so many years- I thought I knew so much about her… so it goes to show that we never really “know” the people we think we know all about… you know?! (Lol, Say that line fast, 3 times in a row!)

        Reply
        • Hi Kitty says

          August 10, 2018 at 11:47 pm

          I know, I mean she definitely had a dysfunctional family – or at least she perceived it that way. It’s interesting, my brother-in-law is like that. He has all these sad stories from his childhood, but then you meet his family & they are lovely people and it’s like “huh?” – so it’s unclear what is perception and what was/is reality. Ultimately, her family dysfunction attributed to her drive but is probably the reason she’s got that quick/snappy and sometime mean wit, perhaps it’s a self defense mechanism? Anyway, I feel bad she has lost another person who was important to her. Between her fall outs w/ her parents, Jill & Bobby, Carole, Jason – I mean, who does she really have? Besides Brynn that is.

          Btw Hi Kitty came from this cat that used to live in my building’s garage. He was a million years old, shy for years but in his old age, was becoming friendlier every day. A year ago, he disappeared & I thought he died but it turns out some lady visiting a friend decided he deserved a “better life” and took him away – away from the only home he’s ever known, a whole building of people who fed him, bought him toys, treats, etc. – I miss him every time I go down there – for 8+ years I always yelled out “Hi Kitty!!” even if I didn’t see him and he would come. 🙁

          Reply
          • Carrie says

            August 11, 2018 at 1:03 am

            Hi Kitty- Yeah, it is interesting to hear someone’s perspective re: their family when it differs so much from the experiences of their siblings. I suppose in many ways, perception is reality, and very few people experiencing the same event will see it the exact same way. It’s sad either way, whether dysfunction is real or just a perception, because the end result is the pain. If it is perceived, I hope your brother in law (and others in the same situation) will find some help in therapy with changing these kinds of thought patterns to avoid harming future relationships.

            What a sweet (and so sad story about the Hi Kitty… I suppose in some way your story is an example of what I was just trying to explain- to you and your neighbors (and certainly to the cat, from what it sounds like), this was a kidnapping situation (or CATnapping?), but to the lady who took him, it was a “rescue.” 😉 Same events, different perspective= different reality. I hope it worked out well for your sweet kitty friend. Glad to know he had so many people who loved him!

            Reply
        • Tabitha says

          August 11, 2018 at 9:06 am

          She has the finances to go to therapy for her mood disorder and PTSD so it is difficult to have sympathy in that regard.

          No one should have to lose someone the way she just did that is for sure. She isn’t my favorite housewife, but this is sad.

          Reply
          • Carrie says

            August 11, 2018 at 2:52 pm

            Tabitha – You’re right, she is loaded! Can you believe her new apartment?!! I can’t even imagine! I’m pretty envious of her access to resources and therapies, to be honest! I don’t have these issues myself, but it would be nice to have that kind of money!

            I think its important to remember that for people who need therapy for mood disorders and personality disorders, access to therapy itself isn’t a magic pill. A person needs to have the right therapist who is qualified and competent to address their issues, and it takes time and effort… sometimes it can take a lifetime of trying really hard in order to get better. Some people do the work and never get better. In addition, medications don’t always work for everyone (or work well enough to help), and even for people who are work hard and do their therapy “homework,” its a long road to re-train a brain that is wired to think or behave in destructive ways. I’ve witnessed how hard it for several people I care about, and it is frustrating when other loved ones, friends/family members think that going to therapy automatically fixes everything. It’s a process for people— and real and lasting progress isn’t always linear, so people often revert back to their old behaviors from time to time. People are still human- we aren’t machines that can be fixed instantly to consistently behave perfectly. That’s all I was trying to say. 😉 I’m not excusing bad behavior or trying to make excuses for her. This is just all food for thought.

            Reply
      • Meggankitty says

        August 13, 2018 at 12:56 am

        Guatemala?? You mean, Puerto Rico?

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          August 13, 2018 at 1:32 am

          No she means Guatemala. She was there after the volcanic eruption giving aid. She’s literally everywhere.

          Reply
  8. Tomcat says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:13 pm

    Horrible situation. I feel for Bethany. I do find it interesting he just happened to keep Narcan on hand. Very sad.

    Reply
    • Tomcat says

      August 11, 2018 at 1:22 pm

      Obviously wrote this the moment story broke. Now know he didn’t have it on hand.

      Reply
  9. Jane says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Sad, sad, news. I am so sorry for his family and for Bethenny. Bethenny is a realist, this will be hard on her but I’m betting she saw something like this coming. Normal folks don’t keep Narcan around for emergencies.

    Reply
    • Bonnebeauty says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:36 pm

      That was my exact thought. Only someone with a serious problem keeps Narcan around for emergencies.

      Reply
      • Blue’s Mom says

        August 10, 2018 at 8:43 pm

        I live in VA. If you are going to take an opioid for a chronic condition, you must also have bar an. It’s nit unusual at all and OTC in most states.

        Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:16 pm

      That’s the detail that caught my attention too. I spent a few years on Norco (on doctor’s orders) & never kept Narcan on hand. I know I’m one of the lucky ones. Opiates are dangerous business.

      Reply
    • Denise says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:33 pm

      I think he sent the housekeeper to the pharmacy

      Reply
    • Denise says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:36 pm

      I think he sent the housekeeper to the pharmacy to get some.

      Reply
      • BC says

        August 10, 2018 at 5:43 pm

        some states actually require a prescription of Narcan now for patients who are on opiod medication long-term. Florida’s statutory provision requiring this went into effect on 7/1/2018, so anyone in Florida who is taking long term opiods must also be given a prescription for Narcan.

        Reply
        • BC says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:44 pm

          Not saying that was the case where Dennis lived – just giving an example, fyi.

          Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 10, 2018 at 5:52 pm

          You’re right! And where I live, it’s not required, but pharmacists have been encouraging patients taking opiods (and their family members) to keep Narcan on hand. It’s too easy to make a mistakenly take too much late at night, or for a visiting child to accidentally overdose by finding a misplaced pill or discarded Fentanyl pain patch, for example. I used to work for a hospice agency, and these kinds of tragedies have happened, so we provided education about this to our patients and caregivers. Ir’s just smart to keep the medication on hand. It isn’t necessarily suspicious to me at all.

          Reply
    • Lisaj71 says

      August 10, 2018 at 6:08 pm

      So I take Norco and every month I get a Narcan w it. I think in most states this is now protocol. So sorry about his death, praying for those who loved him.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 10, 2018 at 7:35 pm

        So true! It’s very common! Just because someone doesn’t have it in their own home doesn’t mean it’s not common for those who may require it in an emergency. It doesn’t automatically mean that someone is addicted or using street drugs.

        Reply
    • Jane says

      August 10, 2018 at 7:59 pm

      Thanks for the info on Narcan. I had only heard of it’s use by police and first responders.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 10, 2018 at 10:03 pm

        In my area, there is currently a program being implemented by community-pharmacy pharmacists (the folks who dispense at independent pharmacies, and I’m not sure if the big chain pharmacies are also doing this) to educate hospice and home health agency staff members the community about the importance of keeping Narcan in the home.

        For folks at end of life and chronic pain patients, well-managed opiods can make the difference between being able to “participate” in life again, and can make life actually feel worth living. It’s a risk/benefit situation, and for folks in severe and/or chronic pain, the benefit can far outweigh the risk involved, as long as the patient is compliant with their meds, and ensures secure storage to prevent theft/diversion for recreational use by those who don’t need it.

        Reply
        • mystrox says

          August 10, 2018 at 10:39 pm

          Carrie Thank You for your thoughtful post.

          Reply
          • Carrie says

            August 10, 2018 at 11:15 pm

            mystrox – thank you for saying that! And you’re absolutely welcome! Like so many things today, it seems the discussion about opiods is much more complicated and nuanced than most headlines about the subject would suggest. 🙂

            Reply
        • Calipatti says

          August 10, 2018 at 11:09 pm

          Carrie your first reply to the twit who wrote about Dem. Senators saying “No Colusion” was spot on. Not the place.
          This comment is great also. A good friend is on 3 opioid pills a day, occaisionaljy only 2 a day,has been this way for years. She needs them to function, she still mows her 2 acres, stacks firewood, huge garden, canning, volunteers about 6 hours a week to AA/NA, has s family etc yet she has to fight for her meds at time.
          The pain would wear her down to nothing in time.
          O listed part of what she dies constantly so ppl know she not a slacker. She knows it’s her slow death sentence when they take her pills.
          She tries to put a few away each week.

          Reply
          • Carrie says

            August 10, 2018 at 11:36 pm

            Calipatti- Thank you for saying that! I’m really sorry to hear about what your friend is experiencing. Chronic pain is like an “invisible disability” in many cases- there are so many people struggling just to make it through the day, and it isn’t always very obvious to others.

            I’m glad she has found meds that help her continue to LIVE her life… and it sounds like her meds keep her pain well controlled enough so that she can give back to others through meaningful volunteer work and interactions with friends and family. So her meds are actually improving the lives of others, as a result! But so few might realize how vital these meds are because of the tragic stories we so often hear, when people misuse the same medications.

            She’s lucky to have you in her life, Calipatti- many people don’t have the support of understanding friends like yourself. Pain can be an incredibly lonely experience, and I think it really helps to know that someone else can “see” and understand that they may be struggling. I pray that she continues to experience the best life she can, and that she is always able to legally access the meds that are helping her so much. Thank you for sharing this!

            Reply
        • Nanette says

          August 11, 2018 at 12:50 pm

          Last graf vet insightful and well-written. I wish ALL ADULTS — especially lawmakers and DEA — would have pain for just one day. So they could have compassion and make informed decisions about pain management.

          Reply
  10. Christi says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:26 pm

    I was very surprised to see this headline. My condolences to his family and all the people who loved him.

    Reply
  11. Zasu says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    The sad truth is that opoid addiction is insidious and doesn’t respect any gender, age group or the financially secure. The government has to take strong steps to rid us of both street narcotics and those which are prescribed. Unfortunately, Dennis Shields will not be the last victim. RIP

    Reply
    • Spunky2015 says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:08 pm

      Many people have chronic pain and need it to function. Dennis had back surgery a couple of years ago and it may not have been successful. You can’t say get rid of all pain medicine. They have their useful place, just like guns.

      Reply
      • Shari says

        August 10, 2018 at 6:37 pm

        80% of the world’s opioids are taken by Americans. In Europe they have found other effective ways to deal with pain. It’s time we adopted their methods.

        Reply
        • Kate Noire says

          August 11, 2018 at 12:39 pm

          This ^^^ !!! I agree exactly.

          The industrial-drug machine complex in this country is frightening. When I had a tooth pulled (I hate the dentist) they prescribed Vicodin and I said no. I took Advil for 3 days and maybe a Valium for the first day and it was fine.

          Say no.

          As my grandmother always said, “never trust doctors or bankers.”

          Reply
          • Sam says

            August 12, 2018 at 12:32 pm

            I had a tooth pulled a few years ago. I remember thinking, why is a dentist able to prescribe oxycodone? Absolutely ridiculous. Nobody needs opioids to function. Plenty of pain meds already on the market, not to mention marijuana. You wanna see collusion, see how the govt and big pharma made all this possible, including the subsequent reoccurrence of heroin addiction. Terrible.

            I honestly question every person in this thread defending this bullshit. Our society has been sold a bill of goods and those drugs are OVERPRESCRIBED. The CDC? GTFO.

            Reply
            • Kate Noire says

              August 12, 2018 at 1:52 pm

              Yes, this — so sad and true and you have to be your own advocate.
              Terrible news and tragedy. So sad and unnecessary.

        • Cat37 says

          August 12, 2018 at 4:07 pm

          So true.

          Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 10, 2018 at 8:14 pm

        Spunky2015 – Exactly this! Thank you!

        Reply
    • mystrox says

      August 10, 2018 at 10:50 pm

      I would not function in life at all without pain management be bed ridden and unable to take care of my young child.
      I know personally 5 suicides in my area of cancer and chronic pain patients who ended their lives when pain can not be controlled and doctors refuse to treat it,it is inhumane.
      Human Rights watch group is watching the USA and taking note of the inhumane treatment of pain patients ,many crippled by surgeons .
      Many in pain have several diseases with Zero cure.
      It amazes me that the media prop works with people who are unaware of facts the CDC admitted to lying about overdose deaths. they upped the numbers falsely more people die from Alcohol than pain patients taking meds that give them quality of life.
      It is illegal Fentanyal and heroin that is causing overdoses in USA …. Europe they get their heroin if they are addicts.

      Reply
      • Calipatti says

        August 10, 2018 at 11:12 pm

        and a person that takes 2-3 pills a day are not addicts. Addicts take 2 pills then 4 then up to 10 pills a day, that’s a addict.

        Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 12:33 am

        mystrox – Thank you for sharing this! I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through so much. Unfortunately stories like yours aren’t often being reported alongside the ones that are sensational and tragic.Until more people are aware of the consequences of widespread bans or extreme limiting regulations on prescribing, the discussion and resulting laws that are enacted will actually cause more harm than good.

        Calipatti- Exactly this! Taking these meds only as prescribed (or less frequently as so many do) is hardly the same thing as taking them recreationally by ingesting a couple days’ worth at once, or using them just for the high/escape. Good point!

        Reply
      • Nanette says

        August 11, 2018 at 2:14 am

        Finally. The truth. I so wish I could find the source where they admitted they lied about the numbers. For every accidental overdose there are scores who took pills irresponsibly. Either too many or with other drugs or alcohol. And all deaths go into the same bucket to be counted. Misinformation and irresistiblilty are killing people. VERY FEW ODs following responsibly prescribed or responsibly taken meds. (And I really think the numbers are trumped up to get people on EXPENSIVE Subutex and Suboxone. Sounds like a conspiracy freak, I know.)

        Reply
      • Nanette says

        August 11, 2018 at 2:28 am

        mystrox. I HOPE I can offer you some hope. I have a chronic pain condition I was doing OK on a “high” dose of meds (120mg oxy a day). People do not understand that our bodies metabolize opioids differently when pain is involved. YOU DO NOT GET HIGH. My cunt doc took me off when she said there were no opioids in my urine. THREE OTHER docs have looked at test and she either lied or was wrong. After 8 months of hell, getting too low a dose from next med center, I moved and my new pain doc put me on Tramadol. At only 11% of my old dose on morphine equivalency table, IT IS WORKING BETTER. I am getting my life back. I was about to give up, no energy or will to fight DEA. I don’t have to fight the DEA on this Schedule IV med. My doc explained why it is working better — too long for here. MAYBE IT CAN WORK FOR YOU.

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 11:07 am

          Nanette – thank you for saying this! I realize your comment was directed to mystrox, but it was an encouragement to me, as well. I’m sorry you went through all of that, and I’m really encouraged to know that you’re doing well. It’s hard not to lose hope (I’ve been there, myself), and it’s important to remember that we are not alone.

          Reply
          • Nanette says

            August 11, 2018 at 12:57 pm

            Carrie: And I would bet when you say “alone” it could be literal. Pain robs you of the energy to sustain relationships and that leads to more isolation. I hope you find hope. We cannot THRIVE, but only SURVIVE, without hope. My new pain doc was a bucking bronc rider in the rodeo and the pain from injuries led him to specialize in pain management. He GETS it. I hope you feel better soon. XOX.

            Reply
          • Nanette says

            August 11, 2018 at 1:10 pm

            Carrie: Oh F***! I just saw your magnificent post including info about your sister. I am SO SORRY FOR THAT LOSS. My sister is nine years younger and SHE has been MY rock. I thank God for her every day. After Dad died young, it took me a while to realize that some people don’t have a great dad, or a loving sister, or a longed-for child for EVEN ONE DAMNED DAY. That is how I look at it now. It helps me to remember the good times. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

            Reply
            • Carrie says

              August 11, 2018 at 3:32 pm

              Nannette – I’m sending you a big hug from across the internet! ❤️ thank you! You are absolutely right about the isolation… I’ve had debilitating health issues in addition to my chronic pain condition, and recently went for 7 months without once leaving the inside of my home (other than to go to doctor’s appointments). I was just too sick to go anywhere, and didn’t (and still don’t really) have the energy to have friends over. When a person is really sick or in pain, just making it through the day can be overwhelming, and I appreciate you saying that. And you are also right that it becomes a matter of SURVIVING instead of thriving.

              I’m so encouraged to hear that you have found a great pain doc who really gets it! People who have been through it first hand are usually the most compassionate, and I’m thankful that you have someone like that to help you. I hope you keep on trying and that you NEVER GIVE UP!!!

              ❤️❤️ And thank you for your kind words about my sister’s story… it means a lot to me today, especially because of some of the assumptions being shared about the subject. Thank you for taking the time to read what I shared. And I’m so sorry that you lost your dad young. That’s a loss that impacts your life more than just losing someone you loved- your parents are your protectors in so many ways, and that kind of loss is devastating in a way like no other loss might be. People always say “I just can’t imagine,” until a loss hits close to home, ya know?! I think you understand this all too well. I’m sorry about what happened, and what you are still struggling with.

              After my sister died, I remember my mom saying, “I used to say to myself that I would just DIE if something happened to one of my daughters… and then something did happen. And I didn’t die. And I f***ing wanted to. I woke up the next day, and the next, and so on, and I just didn’t want to wake up.” When we lose someone who is such a part of us, it’s unimaginable, like losing who we are… and we still have to get groceries and pay the bills and clean the house and care for ourselves, or go to work or school, and be polite to others we don’t always feel like doing any of that.

              Like you just said, such a tragic loss changes the way you think about life and the people you love- it makes you appreciate the people who are still with you in a very different way. I’m sure there are constant reminders of your dad every where you look, and I’m glad you can remember the good times you had and can be comforted by the love you had for one another. We were lucky to have had these people in our lives, even if not for very long, and I will ALWAYS remember what you just said about that- not everyone is so lucky to have that kind of love at all. Wishing you peace and comfort and happy memories ❤️❤️❤️ I have a feeling if we met in real life, we would become fast friends!

            • Daintyfeets says

              August 14, 2018 at 8:36 pm

              My sister suffers from neuropathy and a bent spine and a myriad of other ailments. She doesnt like to take the heavy duty drugs even tho she does when she cant stand it. The one thing that works best for her is a salve called “nordic goddess.” Available in every state that sells recreational marijuana. I’m doing a run thru CO later this month and bringing 10 jars home to her. It’s the only thing that helps and doesnt fuck her up, at all. Just FYI.

  12. Shae says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:36 pm

    I am crushed by this. I take loss super hard, I lost my dad when he was 51 suddenly and dennis was the same age, that is far too young for a father to leave his kids and family behind. Dennis struck me as a kind man, loving, what a horrible loss for all his loved ones. You could tell even with the break ups bethenny cared for him deeply and he adored her. This is just a horrible shame, makes my stomach turn 🙁

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:52 pm

      I’m sorry for your loss, and that this has been so triggering for you. I appreciate your perspective on this, as well- with Dennis being a relatively public figure, I think a lot of people are focusing (myself included, until reading your post) on the circumstances of his death, and on how this will affect his girlfriend… when in reality, he was just “daddy” to the children who loved him, just as you love your dad. There are children now who are grieving and trying to understand while in the middle of a very public tragedy. I can’t imagine how awful this must feel. Wishing peace and healing to you, and to all the children of parents who passed too soon.

      Reply
      • Shae says

        August 11, 2018 at 12:15 am

        ❤️ thank you carrie. We all understand loss through the lens of our own experience.

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 1:08 am

          ❤️ You’re absolutely right! It sounds like your grief has made your heart incredibly compassionate toward those who have also suffered loss. I’m really sorry you went through this. Hugs to you…

          Reply
      • Nanette says

        August 12, 2018 at 10:35 pm

        I am unable to reply to your reply to me, but I agree, in the Wild we could be great friends. I am about to post a fresh message about the opioid “crises” so look at the fresh stuff.

        Reply
    • Kdwagz says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:04 pm

      Well put. That guy had a twinkle in his eye that I found endearing. So sad for bethenny.

      Reply
    • Jaded says

      August 11, 2018 at 9:14 am

      Loss hits me hard too Shae. My son died a couple of months. Sometimes things happen that forever change your life. I’m sorry about your loss. I’m sorry for those who loved Dennis also.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 3:35 pm

        I’m so sorry to hear about losing your son, Jaded. ❤️ Wishing you peace and comfort, and hoping you have loved ones who are supportive and kind to you. I’m sending you the biggest hug ❤️

        Reply
        • Jaded says

          August 11, 2018 at 3:53 pm

          Thank you Carrie! Xo

          Reply
      • sliceo'pie says

        August 11, 2018 at 8:53 pm

        Dear Jaded-I’m so very, very sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for sharing with us. I’m thinking of you and sending you best wishes and comforting thoughts during this difficult time.

        Reply
        • Jaded says

          August 12, 2018 at 11:19 am

          Thank you Slice! Your thoughts and kind words are much appreciated.

          Reply
  13. Karen K says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    This will hit home for the HWs. I hope they take a step back from their narcissistic lives and look at what’s important. Horribly tragic. I hope Bethenny has close friends with her for support.

    Reply
    • SouthernBelle says

      August 10, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Narcissists are not known for being able to take a step back from being narcissists. THEY are what is important to them; that being said, what is equally as sad as his death is all of the insensitive and inappropriate speculation on this thread (not by you but certainly by others).

      Reply
    • Nanette says

      August 11, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      Maybe Beth and Jill can forge a new and improved friendship.

      Reply
  14. Vickie80 says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    His poor children, his poor fitness, Bethanny. Life is cruel and too short ?

    Reply
    • Vickie80 says

      August 10, 2018 at 4:55 pm

      Fitness? Family! His poor family.

      Reply
  15. Julia says

    August 10, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    I have never commented on a post,I just love coming to o this site to read all the gossip. I just wanted to say this is such a tragedy,he seemed like a nice man.

    Reply
  16. GLH says

    August 10, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    How awful! ? He seemed like a really nice man on the show and Bethenny always talked about him highly and she doesn’t lay on the praise easily, especially with men. Wishing love and peace to Jill and his kids!

    Reply
  17. Spunky2015 says

    August 10, 2018 at 5:02 pm

    Yes, I hope Bethenny has close friends with her. Also Dennis was close to Brynn. My condolences to his family and Bethenny. Just sad.

    Reply
  18. NanaKate says

    August 10, 2018 at 5:16 pm

    So tragic and sad for his loved ones. I hope someone is with Bethenny.

    Reply
  19. Cat37 says

    August 10, 2018 at 5:32 pm

    I was shocked. Just shows you never know, and underlines how this opiod addiction does not show favoritism. We don’t know if she knew, I’d be shocked if she was the same because of what a workaholic she is. Maybe that’s why they kept breaking up perhaps was waiting for him to get sober. He had the money for a sober coach, etc. shows you how difficult it is once this takes a bite out of you. Very sad for everyone to lose their parent, significant other, child, etc for something that’s not cancer, heart attack, etc. He had to have been hardcore because who keeps Narcan home? Like the celebrities that employ bodyguards who are EMTs for ODs. It’s all very sad. And she apparently was posting on instagram for a while so she was out of the loop it appears for a while. Again, all very sad.

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 10, 2018 at 6:01 pm

      Is there any proof that he was actually addicted? I haven’t read that anywhere else, Those suffering with chronic pain conditions often have Narcan on hand- sometimes it’s legally required to be dispensed with the opioid prescription itself, and in other cases, it’s recommended by the patient’s healthcare provider and/or pharmacist. I mean no disrespect to you with my comments- I just think it might be jumping the gun a bit to assume that he was addicted, and it’s certainly not a reflection of “hard core” recreational use for someone to obtain or have Narcan on hand. I would just caution anyone against forming an opinion or judgement about something unless we have first-hand personal experience and education about an issue.

      Reply
      • SD says

        August 10, 2018 at 7:38 pm

        Excellent points, Carrie!

        Reply
        • Gottalovepink says

          August 10, 2018 at 11:37 pm

          I wondered when Bethanny said on the reunion that there were some things that had to happen before their relationship could move forward and that his fear of losing her “scared him straight” was referring to a drug problem. She said she thouggt it would never happen but it did. The reality is most people OD after they have been straight for awhile. They decide to partake again they do so at their previous dose and don’t realize their tolerance has diminished. I realize it’s a bit of a leap to assume he had a problem but realistically people taking a doctor approved dose daily are not usually the ones found overdosing.

          With that said, it breaks my heart from all standpoints. Knowing the struggle of dependence myself and all it affects is horrific. There’s no reason for this to happen with reversal agents out there. Heartbreaking for everyone!

          Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 1:17 am

          SD- thank you! I just think so many people equate “overdose” with “addict, and this isn’t always the case. We still don’t know all the facts about what happened, and if I’ve learned anything in my life so far, it’s that a feeling about something isn’t necessarily a fact. I try hard to not to make assumptions- I’ve definitely learned the hard way IRL!

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            August 11, 2018 at 1:41 am

            An OVERDOSE IS AN OVERDOSE.

            You know how many pills you are supposed to be taking if you are supposed to be taking any at all. If you willing ingest more than that, YOU OVERDOSE AND DIE. There is no math here.

            Reply
            • Carrie says

              August 11, 2018 at 12:17 pm

              TT – You are absolutely correct that many people who “overdose” have taken too many pills on purpose. However, many deaths that are attributed to opiods in the media are not actually because someone took too many pills on purpose. A toxicology report is needed before we can determine what actually happened. This could be an accident.

              Sometimes other medications taken together can “potentiate” the side effects of either med/both meds, causing respiratory distress in the case of opiods, for example. Other times, meds (all medications) can exacerbate the symptoms of asthma or another underlying or comorbid medical condition unrelated to the diagnosis for which the opiods or other med is prescribed.

              I know this is a fact because my own SISTER died in her sleep at age 19 after taking hydrocodone as prescribed for an extremely painful medical condition. An autopsy was performed that confirmed that she did not take too many pills, nor did she have any other medications or substances in her body at the time of her death. The low dose opiod (which is the most commonly prescribed med for pain control in the US, and generally regarded as safe when taken as she did) simply suppressed her breathing. And because of the mild sedative effect, she just wasn’t aware of the respiratory distress. She had asthma, and knew that there was a risk, but it didn’t seem likely since her asthma seemed like it was under better control.

              My sister’s death was even more heartbreaking for us as a family when her death was inadvertantly attributed as an OxyContin overdose by a reputable newspaper in a nearby major city. So we had the initial autopsy independently reviewed by a leading medical university, which again confirmed that her death was NOT an overdose, and not from OxyContin… Just because a generally well-respected major newspaper said so didn’t make it true. My sister’s death was just the sort of death that “could” happen from any medication… and tragically, it happened to her. She did nothing wrong.

              ANY medication we might take has the same potential if you have an existing medical condition. And not everyone is aware of potential allergies or underlying health conditions they might have, prior to taking something. I have had anaphylactic reactions to several different meds, for example, but it doesn’t mean that there should be a widespread ban when most people aren’t affected the same way, and are able to safely use the exact same meds to treat their health conditions.

              Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’s easy to assume that someone did something wrong when an “overdose” happens. And just because something is called an “overdose” in the media doesn’t mean it is true. We still don’t know the facts in this case because there has not been a toxicology report released yet- that takes a while, and we may find that it was indeed a true overdose. But it seems that any death with opiods found in someone’s system is automatically attributed as an “overdose”by the media these days, and it’s not always the case that someone was being irresponsible.

              TT – I promise my intention is not to be disrespectful- I’m just saying that the dialogue about opiods in the media in general (which then becomes the dialogue of the public, which then drives policy makers) is lacking a bit of nuance. It’s not really a black and white issue. I realize there are many lives that have been lost or severely impacted because of opiod abuse, and that addiction is a slippery slope… but many people take these meds safely on a daily basis, and you can’t always “know” because people don’t always want to share their private medical information… and SAFE medication usage does’t exactly make headlines!

              You are right about knowing how many pills you are prescribed, and that some people abuse their meds, regardless… but that type of addictive behavior is no different than someone who knows the potential of alcohol and drinks to get drunk, or drinks to dull their feelings, for example. As a society, we should be having a conversation about safe usage and being compliant with meds, not assuming everyone who takes something for pain is an addict, or assuming all “overdose” deaths were because of irresponsible behaviors.

              It probaly goes without saying, but i will say this anyway – I would give anything in the world to have my baby sister back. She was my only sibling, and I will never “get over” losing her. My family will never be the same, and I think of her every day. But I am not angry toward the drug manufacturer or about opiods in general because of what happened – it could have happened to her from taking lots of other meds that other people take every day. It was a “fine print” risk like the ones most of us willingly take every day.

              TT, I realize you were simply addressing the discussion about the definition of an “overdose,” but I thought I would share all of this because there has been a thoughtful conversation here about opiods in general. If you’ve read all of this, many thanks! I didn’t intend to write an essay!

            • GLH says

              August 11, 2018 at 7:15 pm

              Wow. I don’t usually read the longer comments but I’m glad I did this time.

              I don’t know if you’ll see this and don’t expect a response but just wanted to say thank you for your well informed post and my sincerest apologies about your sister – I can’t imagine how horrific that must have been for you and your family.

              I think a lot of people, myself included, will read a story on an ‘overdose’ without pausing and questioning if what we’re reading is 100% informed and you’ve really given me a lot to think about after hearing your own experiences.

            • Sam says

              August 12, 2018 at 12:43 pm

              SO – the media is lying to us about how bad this is? Your case doesn’t negate how fucked up the opioid problem is in this country. Remember how oxys weren’t addictive? Yeah, turns out that wasn’t the case. Doctors prescribe them to high school athletes. Dentists could prescribe them. Hospitals are getting federal dollars based on satisfaction ratings. Can you guess how they get good ones? I applaud any doctor that questions requests for opioids, it should have been done a LONG time ago.

              I’ve got a super sad family story, too. That seems to play better here.

      • Ktina says

        August 14, 2018 at 4:33 pm

        How did he OD then?

        Reply
    • Sackem says

      August 10, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      This!

      Reply
  20. Housewivedout says

    August 10, 2018 at 5:36 pm

    Rest In Peace Dennis. Sad for Bethenny and his family.

    Reply
  21. Miranda says

    August 10, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    That is very sad. May he rest in peace and his children will always remember what a kind man their father was.
    I’m sorry for Bethenny. She has hard a hard life, worked her ass off and all the money on the world does not change the hurt.

    I will save my opinion about her fellow HW’s and their possible responses…for now.

    Reply
    • J. says

      August 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm

      I absolutely agree. Just wait for them all to come out of the Woodworks for the sake of their name being seen and heard. Bethenny has always been my favorite since episode 1. she’s very successful cuz she works her ass off and she hustles. She’s also absolutely real and hysterical. My heart breaks for her.

      Reply
  22. SD says

    August 10, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    I hope someone who cares about Bethenny told her the news, and she didn’t hear from some reporter calling her for a reaction statement.

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 10, 2018 at 6:09 pm

      I know! It would be hard enough to learn the news, but to hear it that way would be absolutely horrific. I’m hoping his estranged wife and children learned the news in the kindest way possible, as well. I’ve often thought about the loved ones and people “adjacent” to reality tv stars, and how it must feel to have the spotlight shine on their own lives because of someone else’s decision to become famous. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Wishing peace, healing, and the ability to grieve in private to everyone who loved him.

      Reply
      • SD says

        August 10, 2018 at 7:40 pm

        Yes to everything you said.

        Reply
  23. Lynn says

    August 10, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    This is beyond sad…….
    Not sure what else to say.
    I too hope Beth has people around her as I’m sure she is devastated.
    DAMN!

    Reply
  24. SabrinaToo says

    August 10, 2018 at 6:12 pm

    Is Narcan something people readily carry around on them now?

    Reply
    • Gottalovepink says

      August 10, 2018 at 11:42 pm

      Yes. I have it in my cabinet. My Dr said it was required per state of Oregon per the meds/opioids I’m on. And ANYONE using opiates recreationally should have some on hand! Just for fear of a child getting ahold of a pill should prompt anyone to have it on hand.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 12:32 pm

        Gottalovepink – thank you for saying this! More people need to know about this, and I hope you’ll continue to share how Narcan is commonly used. Unfortunately, because so many people have abused their prescribed medications and street drugs, Narcan has been commonly associated with irresponsible behaviors. Thanks for helping explain this!

        A former pharmacist colleague of mine shared a story recently about a very young child who accidentally died because she was visiting a relative on hospice care who was using a Fentanyl pain patch – With medication patches, and especially so with Fentanyl or other powerful opiod pain patches, it is VERY important that safety precautions be taken 100% of the time (wearing gloves when changing a patch, folding the patch onto itself so that the “mediation side” sticks to itself, disposing old patches according to directions). In this case, a used patch had fallen onto the floor, and the child stepped on it, exposing her skin to the almost-completely used mediation side of the patch for just a few seconds… An adult removed the patch, but it was too late for the young child, as emergency personnel weren’t able to get to the home quickly enough to administer Narcan in time.

        If this family had been more careful, or if they had Narcan in the home, this incident could have been avoided. I think for a lot of us, hearing a story like this helps illustrate the importance of something, so I thought I would share.

        Reply
  25. Lb says

    August 10, 2018 at 6:17 pm

    Heard the phrase fucktard many times. Never knew what it meant till now. Nasty comments and dumb ass speculation can’t even wait 5 min. On hearing of a death ?? I’ve learned the hard way to not judge on another persons pain. Physical or mental. To outlaw ? Wow

    Reply
    • Mimm says

      August 10, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      Totally on point with this comment! AssHats should be passed around to the fucktards.

      Reply
    • GLH says

      August 10, 2018 at 6:46 pm

      ?? ?? ??

      Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 12:43 pm

      I absolutely agree with you about judging another person’s pain! I’m sorry you’ve learned the hard way, yourself. I’ve also had severe chronic pain for nearly half my life (I’m in my mid 40’s) which is now almost completely debilitating becasue I have an additional chronic issue that causes severe pain. We never know just by outward appearance what someone else may be suffering from or dealing with. Pain is often an “invisible disability,” and taking meds as prescribed is NOT an addiction or weakness in character.

      I posted a VERY long comment in this discussion re: “overdose” deaths- suggesting it’s not appropriate to assume anything before the toxicology report is released. It’s interesting to me that some people feel the need to openly share/accuse/assume/wildly speculate based on their initial reactions to stories without considering their sources, actual knowledge/education, or the potential biases they may have before doing so. For me, the more I know, the more I realize I don’t “know” anything! 😉

      Reply
  26. tamaratattles says

    August 10, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    POST UPDATED!

    Reply
  27. Erica says

    August 10, 2018 at 6:58 pm

    Hey guys. We dont know if this was an addiction or something else. It could have been a totally legit, needed prescription. It could have been an accidental overdose. Sadly, it could have been a deliberate OD at some point.

    If Narcan WAS administered when he was simply unconscious, it might not be an OD at all but some other medical event.

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 1:19 am

      Erica – This exactly!

      Reply
  28. CoCo says

    August 10, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    Im sad for Bethenny and his ex and poor children. RWG Dennis. Godspeed!

    Reply
  29. LiveOakShade says

    August 10, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    Remember when Bethenny talked about Dennis having multiple back surgeries, pretty sure that will be why he had narcotics. She spoke about on the reunion show when Lou accused her of being with a married man.
    My earlier comment that was questioned when I used the word gamechanger, was not being disrespectful. the death of ones closest significant other is a sadly a gamechanger. Not talking shit just talking about what I have learned in life. Life will never be the same. This will change B in a lot of ways.
    Dennis seemed like a decent guy and 51 is too young to die so tragically.
    RIP

    Reply
  30. Bri says

    August 10, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    I, too, was just shocked to hear this today. I normally don’t get emotional about celebrity deaths, but I feel absolutely awful about this one because I know this will gut Bethenny. I don’t know that she will ever fully bounce back after this.

    I know they were off and on, but i think they would have eventually decided on a lifetime commitment. He was her person. He was her best friend. This is truly a tremendous loss for Bethenny.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to her. I believe he really did love her. I think she was probably the love of his life. And for his children, I have nothing but condolences and prayers.

    If he was struggling with addiction, I pray the world does not judge him. Those of us struggling to overcome the disease know that many of us are good people who just got the short end of the straw. And all of us, every addict out there, could be in his shoes if we chose to use just one more time. This is such a strong reminder to choose sobriety.

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 1:09 pm

      Bri – I agree wholeheartedly with everything you just said! Thank you for saying this! I think we all should show that kind of compassion and understanding toward those who are struggling with difficulties of any sort—whether it’s a struggle with physical pain or disability, or a mental health condition, abuse, emotional pain, poverty, or any number of things we as humans can potentially experience. It’s so easy for anyone to judge someone else just becasue they haven’t experienced the same situation themselves.

      I’ve never personally been addicted to anything, but have been greatly impacted by the addictions that several loved ones have struggled with. I choose sobriety because I’ve been too hurt by what others have done to be able to enjoy a potentially addictive substance, but I don’t have any judgment in my heart for anyone who struggles with this. Condemnation and judgment of others accomplishes nothing, and you’re right that addiction could happen to any one of us (“There but for the grace of God go I” (or the but for the grace of the universe, if you’re not spiritual) and that sort of thing). We all have different upbringings, histories, genetic predispositions, personalities, circumstances and coping mechanisms.

      We don’t automatically know what anyone else’s life is like, and its far too easy to react with judgment when someone “fails.” Judgment is a way of distancing ourselves from a character or moral failure, or bad behavior, but if we say “I would never do that” it actually says more about the subconscious fear of losing control of our own lives than it actually says about the person we might be judging. Until I walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, I don’t REALLY know what it feels like to be someone else, or what might lead to the choices they make. No one thinks it could happen to them… until it does. Well said, Bri!

      Reply
  31. Jr.Leaguer says

    August 10, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    Sadly, opioid addiction knows no zip code or bank account amount. They are handed out like PEZ! Several years ago, I was prescribed oxy for VERY minor oral surgery. I took the first dose and disposed of the rest. The side effects from the meds were AWFUL. I decided, I would rather deal with the pain than suffer from the pills.
    My heart breaks for individuals and families that have had to deal with those issues.
    May his memory always be a blessing.

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      While I completely agree with you that my heart breaks for those dealing with addiction issues, I respectfully disagree with you about something you might be suggesting – I’m thankful that you were able to handle the pain of your minor oral surgery without using opiods. I, myself, recovered from a painful childbirth experience (18 hours of active labor, nearly 3 hours of pushing, and an eventual emergency C-section) without the use of opiods. I was given a powerful opiod in an IV pain pump that didn’t work at all, so I instead chose (just as you did) to recover without it- I asked for Tylenol instead, and it worked sufficiently for me at that time.

      What I would disagree with you about is the potential assumption (that it sounds like you may be making) that because you were able to recover from your minor oral surgery without opiods, that all others may be able to do the same. It is a medical fact that we all have different pain tolerances/thresholds, and not all similar surgeries are actually the EXACTLY same for us all. Someone else may also have chronic pain because of an unrelated condition that would make any additional pain simply intolerable, as well.

      What I’m trying to say is that “one size doesn’t fit all” when it comes to pain and the administration of pain medications. And while there have been MANY documented cases of negligent and irresponsible OVERprescription of opiods (perhaps too many to count), I just hope that we are all very careful in not projecting our own experiences onto this very important discussion. I hope that you will never find yourself in debilitating pain like so many people experience (myself included)—severe pain can result from accidents/injuries or from chronic or degenerative medical conditions— but I hope that if you are ever in severe pain in the future, you’ll have safe and well managed access to the meds you need.

      While it’s true that these meds were overprescribed in many cases in the past, it’s also true that regulations have become prohibitively strict in many states, causing issues for legitimate chronic pain patients to go without the meds that make their pain tolerable, and their lives worth living. Many chronic pain patients have committed suicide or turned to illicit street drugs because they no longer have access to these meds- many health care providers are legitimately afraid of being “flagged” by the DEA, for overprescribing, even though their patients have well documented and medically appropriate conditions for which opiods may be prescribed, so they have stopped prescribing these meds altogether. This often forces chronic pain patients to endure visiting their health care provider every SEVEN DAYS for their long-term use prescription refills (which is often unaffordable, not feasible because of office scheduling or places an undue burden on them because they are chronically ill), or that they instead receive prescriptions from pain clinic providers, who are now severely overburdened and cannot accept new patients, or not located within a reasonable distance to the patient, as happens in so many cases.

      My apologies if I misunderstood what you were saying- you may not have been suggesting that just because YOU didn’t need the opiods prescribed, that they aren’t really helpful to most people who use them safely. I’m just trying to help create an open and honest dialogue to foster greater understanding of this issue… I didn’t actually come here to do that, though— I came here for the same reasons it seems brought you here, to read a great blog post!

      This such a shocking tragedy, and I hope everyone impacted by his death finds peace and healing. Again, my apologies if i misunderstood what you were trying to say.

      Reply
      • Jr.Leaguer says

        August 11, 2018 at 7:19 pm

        @Carrie: Yeah, you are WAY off base with with my intent.
        I had a MINOR procedure. I was prescribed something that I felt was overkill for MY pain level. It was sort of along the lines…in MY opinion, of amputating something that only needed a band aid.
        Yes, I know that pain levels are different for different people, but throwing heavy duty pills should not be the first go to.
        I also should say that medicine pays the bills in my family, so I actually DO know a little something about what I am talking about.

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 7:57 pm

          Jr.Leaguer – like I originally said (more than once) in the post you are referring to, my apologies if I misunderstand what you are trying to say. I wasn’t trying to be dismissive of you or rude in any way. If you genuinely wanted to clarify what you originally said, to address my reply, I feel you could do so without being insulting or belittling to me.

          I said what I said with the most respectful intentions, in kindness, and I apologize that it may have come across otherwise. I am a very sensitive person, and would never want to hurt anyone else or talk down to them. If you feel I was intentionally rude, I can assure you that it was not my intent at all. I promise!

          If my comments have added nothing to the discussion, I apologize. I’m really sick, almost completely isolated, dealing with pain that is nearly beyond what I can humanly handle… so I certainly don’t wish to add drama to my life by causing a flame war with anyone online. People can be nasty to one another online, but it’s just not my thing. I hope you will consider re-reading my comment to you in the spirit with which it was intended. I thought I was clearly respectful, just as I would be if we were talking face to face.

          I definitely ageee with you that heavy duty pills are over prescribed and shouldn’t be the first go-to, as you mention. But my response was to your very brief statement- I can’t read your mind, so I couldnt know that you had an understanding greater than you initially indicated with your statement. Please consider that I was respectful to you. If you feel otherwise, I promise it was never my intention.

          Reply
          • Jr.Leaguer says

            August 11, 2018 at 8:10 pm

            @Carrie: No where in my response was I belittling or rude to you. Again, I was only trying to clarify MY experience to you.
            This is the internet. My original post was in response to TTs article about the passing of someone randomly connected to Bravo (in a way). YOU then chose to take my post and craft a response that was not warranted. As for me…this is just a blog about people that I do not actually know and the fate of my universe does not hang on it.

            Reply
            • Carrie says

              August 11, 2018 at 8:32 pm

              Ok… if you can’t see how you might be belittling in the way you are speaking with me, it’s not my place to point it out to you. Agree to respectfully disagree with you on that. My reply was respectful (please read the words I wrote to you with a neutral tone- anything but a respectful and neutral tone just isn’t there!) and nothing was meant to insult you or school you or annoy you. If you feel differently about what I’ve said to you, it’s no longer my concern. I’ve sincerely apologized, and I meant it, and hope you will accept my apology for the misunderstanding, FWIW.

              PLEASE just leave me alone if you are only interested in keeping an argument going, because whether “this is the internet” or not- I am a person with feelings, just like anyone else, and I don’t have the available energy right now to argue with anyone. I meant what I said with kindness. I’m not a Real Housewife, after all 😉

              Hoping we can move past this with mutual respect…

            • Jr.Leaguer says

              August 11, 2018 at 9:22 pm

              @Carrie: Do not come for people and then when they respond you resort to using a “Leave me alone ” , “I am not well” etc. defense…If you do not want to deal with responses…then do not comment to begin with. It is really quite simple.

            • Carrie says

              August 11, 2018 at 8:36 pm

              Jr.Leaguer – if you don’t mind, would you please read the last 2 paragraphs of my original reply (you mentioned in your comment to TT that you only read halfway through it). I’m hoping you can see what my original intention/ tone was actually about.

        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 11:55 pm

          Jr.Leaguer – I disagreed with your original statement, but I spoke to you (though long winded) with respect and apologized to you for any misunderstanding… and you came at me defensively, even though you admitted not even reading what I wrote. (I get it, though, it was lengthy and you probably felt misunderstood, as well). I asked you to leave me alone if your only intention is just to keep an argument going, and I asked you with respect. And now here we are.

          I mentioned my health issues because not as an excuse… it’s been a factor I’ve been open about here in this post because of the opiod conversation that we both participated in, and also because I simply can’t handle the stress of a discussion that starts to feel so personal and ugly. This needs to end… please.

          I was kind to you, trying to smooth things over with you, and it’s obviously not possible. This is honestly the most ridiculous argument ever, over a misunderstanding. My mistake was to engage with you.

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            August 12, 2018 at 12:08 am

            YOUR MISTAKE IS THINKING WE NEED FIFTY FUCKING EIGHT ESSAYS ABOUT YOU. THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT YOU. SHUT THE MOTHER FUCK UP.

            Reply
            • Carrie says

              August 12, 2018 at 12:13 am

              You got it! That wasn’t my intention- there was an adjacent conversation going on, and I only meant to be helpful.

            • tamaratattles says

              August 12, 2018 at 12:43 am

              I have a new/old rule In the updated commenting rules. mostly it is about you SHUTTING THE FUCK UP.

          • Jr.Leaguer says

            August 12, 2018 at 12:47 am

            Jesus H. Fucking Christ, Carrie…get off my junk!
            Quit trying to make this a pity party for you. Quit posting to me.
            Someone once told me that trying to reason with some people is like trying to put out a grease fire with water…It simply cannot be done. You are a raging grease fire.
            You have jacked Tamara’s thread long enough.

            Reply
            • Sam says

              August 12, 2018 at 12:48 pm

              Damn, I should have read this first. THANK YOU.

              That cat lady bullshit is exhausting and has damn near run me off this site, FFS.

            • tamaratattles says

              August 12, 2018 at 12:52 pm

              Thank you for not sharing your sad family story, Sam. I feel like the cat ladies are back lately.

              Soon we will be hearing about how people can only afford one taco and fifty cans of cat food every week.

  32. Blondesense says

    August 10, 2018 at 7:29 pm

    I am heartbroken for Bethenny. I think that, despite their ups and downs, he was her ‘person’. I remember when she was in Colombia and had asked him to send a plane and get her out – I thought it was so chivalrous and dreamy.

    On Bethenny’s level, your knight kind of needs to have his own plane to feel secure enough to be around her, and I so hoped he was the guy.

    I’m shattered for her and Bryn, who likely knew him well.

    Reply
  33. Mmmmia says

    August 10, 2018 at 7:57 pm

    I feel so bad for Jill and her children. They weren’t divorced very long I don’t think. This will be tough on her especially helping their children process and grieve. Very very sad. I also hope Bethenny is doing ok.

    Reply
    • Jane says

      August 10, 2018 at 10:21 pm

      I don’t believe the divorce has been finalized.

      Reply
      • Naomi says

        August 12, 2018 at 11:47 am

        That’s what I read too. dennis was still legally married (but legally separated), just like Bethany.

        Reply
  34. Carol says

    August 10, 2018 at 8:31 pm

    Prayers for his family. Prayers for Bethenny.

    Reply
  35. J. says

    August 10, 2018 at 8:37 pm

    This is absolutely horrible, unexpected and Incredibly sad. Obviously, I don’t know him but I loved him and Bethenny together. You could tell they really loved each other. I can’t imagine her devastation. Of course my thoughts and prayers go out to his ex-wife and his three children as well. WOW…tears just Rollin down.

    Reply
  36. LD says

    August 10, 2018 at 10:00 pm

    I am speechless!! He seemed so kind w Bethenny! My prayers to his family and Bethenny and Bryn!! How much can they take …..

    Reply
  37. tamaratattles says

    August 10, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    There is an update to this post that might make US Weekly a better source of all the random rage going on around here.

    Reply
    • SD says

      August 10, 2018 at 10:15 pm

      Did it really say Skinny B**** and not Skinny Girl?!?!?! Wow!

      Reply
      • Mmmmia says

        August 11, 2018 at 12:43 am

        I didn’t see it but skinny bitch is another brand that broke maybe a year or two before or around the same time as skinny girl. It might have been an honest mistake by the author and editor.

        Reply
    • Blondesense says

      August 10, 2018 at 11:01 pm

      Yes, this!

      Please tell US Weekly how offensive this is guys.

      Absolutely unacceptable. Sadly, screenshot is real and it is still up.

      Reply
  38. SD says

    August 10, 2018 at 10:43 pm

    He had had back surgery–Bethenny had mentioned this on the show–and he was likely still taking pain medicine from that. It is not inconceivable that he innocently took too many–maybe the regular dosage wasn’t helping, maybe he forgot he had already taken the max–or maybe he had a bad reaction this time to something he had taken previously with no problem. There is no need to speculate that he was an addict. And the housekeeper found him when she arrived; she was not there “at hand” to watch him.

    Reply
  39. Sera says

    August 10, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    Did he just recover from cancer? I thought right before Bethenny started dating him he was staying at his estranged wife’s home because he was ill? Or was she the one who was ill? Either way, it was a platonic situation due to a health issue. Maybe he accidentally mixed up his medication or something..I’m hoping that’s what it was. I feel badly for all involved, especially his kids.

    Reply
  40. Sera says

    August 10, 2018 at 10:47 pm

    Someone answered above, it was back surgery. Perhaps he did forget how many he took or mixed it with something he didn’t know not to.

    Reply
  41. mystrox says

    August 10, 2018 at 11:02 pm

    I am sure what happened will eventually come to light and only people filled with the media’s lies on the dangers of prescription opioids will accuse Dennis of being an addict without full knowledge of his story.
    My condolences to The family of Dennis and Bethe I am sure she loved him too.
    I just hope Bethenny has support of her friends.

    Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 2:05 pm

      ^^THIS!^^ Again, mystrox- I’m right there with ya!

      It’s increasingly hard to separate fact from fiction, since so many headlines we hear about are sensational, and don’t truthfully represent reality. It’s understandable to a degree when we consider that the news used to be considered a “true mirror” of what happens in our society, so we tend to believe what we see/read without questioning how our opinions/views may be affected. Unfortunately, the phrase “if it bleeds, it leads” is a very common sentiment across all media platforms- the tragic and uncommon/shocking events are the ones that increase circulation/viewership and ratings, so these are the ones that are reported to a VASTLY greater degree. And since this is what we see most often, it’s natural for us to believe that what we see is a reflection of what is happening. This isn’t inherently a malicious or intentional manipulation, but numerous studies have shown that what we see/read gradually becomes what we begin to believe. That’s also the reason there is increasing divisiveness regarding many subjects in our society today- moderate opinions just don’t attract as many viewers/readers, so we are being exposed to increasingly extreme views. I have a educational background in media studies, so this subject is fascinating to me on an intellectual level, but it otherwise scares the hell out of me- so often, we can get worked up and invested in a belief without questioning the validity of what we think we “know.” Well said, mystrox!

      Reply
  42. Calipatti says

    August 10, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    Death is so final, a loss for family and friends that will hurt for years to come. We all have felt it yet Dennis being only 51 with children and then Bethenny seems extra sad to me.

    Bethenny will be okay, she always is. She really has no other choice. The history she carries sometimes amazes me. Wishing her the best.

    P.S. hope Caroke keeps her mouth shut.

    Reply
  43. Nanette says

    August 11, 2018 at 2:38 am

    One of the saddest things about this is that he REALIZED he was over-medicated and did not get the Narcan in time. He KNEW he was dying and tried to survive. It takes a while to OD from pills. CPR, cold shower and making person walk while waiting for EMTs MAY have kept him alive. If the Narcan had been there in the apartment… maybe he would be alive. Pain will steal everything from you … including your life. Yes, he took too many pills, but after a while, the pain can push you that far. RIP Dennis. No more pain.

    Reply
  44. Martin says

    August 11, 2018 at 4:36 am

    I just hope that since it happened during the filming break B will have time to process it without cameras.

    To be honest I am very disturbed that so many of you show knowledge of what Narcan is and what it does. Stop using opioids, America!

    Reply
    • Jaxbenimble says

      August 11, 2018 at 8:55 am

      There’s a campaign to get everyone knowledgeable about it. Because the rate at which people are dying.

      Reply
    • Nanette says

      August 11, 2018 at 12:06 pm

      Just say no? Just wait until you have pain. Then tell your own self to stop. Opioids are nothing new. Opium has been used since at least 3,400 BC. Mesopotamia (that’s 2,100 years before King Tut). Google the Opium Wars (mid-1800s) between British and China. Opioid use (and abuse) has a tumultuous history. Opiods have potential to help and to hurt — NOTHING NEW. But when you or a loved one is in pain, CONTROVERY DOESN’T MATTER. You just want the pain to stop. Life in pain — I am talking long-term, relentless pain — CHRONIC, not ACUTE — will steal your life away. It is not just the physical pain, it is what happens with your brain in pain. Isolation, depression, uselessness … all of the beauty life has to offer … GONE. I envy those with a religious faith who find strength in that. But when you feel pain … THEN COME BACK AND JUST SAY NO.

      Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 2:37 pm

      Nanette – Please don’t rush to judgment about this issue if you aren’t personally impacted by severe chronic pain. You are probaly a very kind person who would never intentional judge another, but what you just said suggests a deeply held belief that is not based in personal knowledge or fact. I do not wish to start a flame war or be disrespectful, so i do hope you can understand my intention. (It’s so hard to tell when we don’t know each other, and we aren’t speaking face to face here). I have a feeling that if you or someone you love NEEDED an opiod in order to make severe pain tolerable enough to function- in order to simply eat food, to bathe, to walk or move from the bed to a wheelchair/walker/cane, or to go move into the bathroom to use the toilet, or to be able to sleep through unrelenting severe pain- that you would likely soften your opinion on this.

      Like so many others, I have had chronic pain that has flared so severely that even Morphine (multiple does of morphine given after other pain medications) admistered in an IV wouldn’t touch it- pain that caused me to BEG my family and my doctor for death, just to end my suffering. It isn’t always so severe for me, but it’s always with me, no matter what I do. I cannot tune it out or meditate it away or push through it- mild/moderate or even severe but short-lived pain is the kind pain we all will experience, but what I’m describing to you is entirely different. Please remember that for cancer patients, for those with debilitating arthritis or degenerative conditions, severe nerve pain, injuries, etc., these medications are literally the difference between being able to LIVE, or suicide… or turning to street drugs out of desperation. This is not a black and white issue. Opiods are not evil when used appropriately as prescribed, and for people with chronic pain (those of us who actually need them), these meds do not create a “high” like they do for people who are using them recreationally. These meds just take the edge off enough to function and want to continue living.

      Since you clearly are saying that opiods should not be used by anyone, I’m not sure what your suggestion would be for someone in this much pain. What should chronic pain patients do? Do you have any actual ideas, or education about the subject? Are you a medical professional trained in pallliative care? It is true that there are many effective alternative pain therapies and treatments available to people (though not always affordable, as insurance companies don’t always cover), but these don’t work for everyone in every situation, and for those who find relief, it is not always sufficient.

      And as Jaxbenimble just said, there are currently campaigns in the US designed to promote awareness of the need to have Narcan on hand for those who are prescribed opiods, just in case of accidental overdose by the patient (btw, who among us hasn’t once accidentally forgotten whether they took a vitamin or pill? That stuff happens, and when you’re in pain, its even harder to think clearly), or overdose by someone in the home (a child for example), or for use if the side effects of the opiod have been potentiated by the use of another medication.

      Nanette and jaxbenimble – thank you for what you both just said! ?

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 6:46 pm

        Nanette – My apologies, my comment was in response to Martin’s post. I got a little too fired up and forgot who I was talking to!

        Reply
  45. Chelle says

    August 11, 2018 at 4:54 am

    Oh gosh! This is super sad. My thoughts with his family

    Reply
  46. Jaxbenimble says

    August 11, 2018 at 8:54 am

    I didn’t know where else to share my thoughts. It is so devestating that this happened. I keep thinking how could any doctor continue to prescribe this medicine 3 years after an injury? And here is a man that had the financial means to manage his health and physical issues with specialists and an array of healing modalities and still it appears that he succumbed to these damned pills. It’s sad and it’s scary. And anyone can fall victim to it. The pharmaceutical industry seems to have set this in motion without being held accountable.

    thanks for letting me get that out.

    Reply
    • Nanette says

      August 11, 2018 at 12:18 pm

      Time and surgery do not always end pain. Doctors need to monitor and COMMUNICATE with the people they “write” for. Dennis may have had a bad flare-up and just kept taking pills trying to make pain stop. Or he may have been abusing. Or it could have been a fluke. Many factors go into how many pills you can take. Case in point: Christmas shopping 2005 … I took 10 #10 Vicodin in a 1.5 hour time period hoping I could walk upright and with MANAGEABLE pain. Irresponsible? Yes. Against doctors orders? Yes. Pain gone? NO. Did dinner companion have any idea how medicated I was? Not until I told her. Not one iota of an inkling. And she was a person with a medical background. I was lucid and not high. Another person LIKELY would have died. (BTW: We both agreed she would drive me home even though I could walk a straight line and recite the alphabet backward.)

      Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 4:21 pm

      Jaxbenimble – Nanette is absolutely right that time and surgery don’t always end pain. Some chronic pain conditions will never improve, and only become more painful and debilitating over time (degenerative orthopedic conditions, for example). Since we don’t have access to his medical records, and are not the ones who treated him, I would encourage everyone to use caution before jumping to conclusions about what his physician should have done. We may end up finding out that his was prescribed inappropriately, or that he was non compliant with taking his meds as prescribed (too any or that he had another underlying health condition that, when combined with opiods, contributed to his death… or any number of things.. It’s just too soon to tell.

      I agree with you that pharmaceutical companies have been aggressively pushing these meds for what we now are realizing is inappropriate usage (long term use when patients with less severe or acute pain (short term, lasting less than 3 months- like a sprained ankle or pulled tooth. etc.) are able to find relief with non-opiod medications without all the side effects. The problem is not the appropriate use of these medications- its the way they were marketed to the general public as a “fix all” for less severe pain, without regard to the devastating effects of inappropriate usage. You are absolutely correct that anyone can become addicted to opiods, but for so many people who suffer with severe pain— people who use their medications appropriately, well managed by their healthcare providers, it can make the difference between living and wanting to die. Pain is incredibly isolating, and is often referred to as an “invisible disability” (i’ve mentioned this a couple times already) and its impossible for us to always know what someone else should be doing to manage that pain. Alternative modalities do not always work, are not always available or affordable, and sometimes people are just doing their best to survive with what they’re suffering from. We don’t always know from the outside 😉

      You won’t ever read headlines like “John Doe Was Able to Join His Family at the Dinner Table On Thursday Because of His Appropriate Use of Hydrocodone,” for example. Who would want to read that?! 😉 We just hear about the tragic stories becasue they are not the norm, which makes them “newsworthy.” Addiction can happen to anyone, especially if they aren’t educated about the risks associated with a substance, or if they aren’t mindful of how often/how much they take- and that principle applies to any addiction, whether it is to opiods, alcohol, illicit drugs, shopping, gambling, or literally anything someone can be addicted to. With the devastating stories we so often hear, its easy to think that everyone using an opiod long term is doing so unnecessarily, and perhaps irresponsibly, but that just isn’t the case.

      Reply
  47. Julie says

    August 11, 2018 at 11:35 am

    The little bit of info on Dennis’ death is confusing- I’ve never seen someone that took enough narcotics to overdose yet was lucid enough to send his assistant to purchase Narcan. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time he exceeded a safe dosage.

    Sometimes when a massive amount of narcotics are ingested, the Narcan dose wears off too quickly- before all the drugs are gone from the system. If another dose isn’t given it can be fatal very quickly.

    Reply
    • Nanette says

      August 11, 2018 at 12:25 pm

      That same lucidity thing confuses me too. I wonder how much time elapsed befor she got back with Narcan. I wonder if she had an Rx or if pharmacist can just sell it OTC (kept behind counter). There also is the “half life” of long-acting meds. That is one reason docs disagree about giving short-acting or long-acting pain meds. It is extremely difficult to determine how long some meds remain and compound in EACH INDIVIDUAL. I hope we find out more info — not for snarking, for knowledge.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 4:35 pm

        Julie – I get what you are saying. It’s not uncommon for multiple doses of Narcan to be administered to someone in distress, and we don’t know all the facts yet.

        It’s easy to us assume that these early reports are accurate on face value, but we don’t yet know the circumstances/time line. “Asking” for Narcan could actually have been subtly “nodding” or weakly gesturing to answer a question being asked, rather than asking, “Would you please go here and ask for Narcan” for example. A person doesn’t need to be able to hold a conversation to ask for something. We will know more later when a toxicology report is released and when investigators release their findings.

        Nanette – Again, that’s a really good point! The long-acting meds are very different than the immediate release meds, and you are absolutely right that individuals metabolize meds differently, depending on a number of factors.

        Reply
    • Ktina says

      August 14, 2018 at 4:44 pm

      I don’t get sending your assistant instead of calling 911

      Reply
  48. tamaratattles says

    August 11, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    If anyone actually read the eleventy billion incredibly long comments by Carrie, please let me know if there is anything in there that needs deletion.

    Reply
    • SD says

      August 11, 2018 at 5:15 pm

      I read most of them. 🙂 Yes, they were long–but on a subject about which she has personal experience and knowledge. Her points were insightful, fair, well written, and politely made–no need to delete anything.

      Reply
    • SuzyJane says

      August 11, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      Can’t help you there. Sorry.

      Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      TT – I certainly didn’t intend to monopolize the conversation, so my apologies for the length of some of my comments here. My intentions are nothing but positive and encouraging to others – I promise.

      If you have read any of my posts, you will probably realize that I am dealing with some overwhelming health issues and truly awful chronic pain. I also had an opiod related tragedy in my immediate family (which was inaccurately described in a major newspaper) and previously worked for a hospice agency, so my comments come from a place of first-hand experiences and professional education. That’s why there were “eleventy billion incredibly long comments,’ as you mention. 😉

      It sounds like I may have offended you by posting so much here (or that you are just saying this becasue I’m new here). If I’ve offended you, I apologize. If you would prefer me to stop reading your site, or posting here, I can certainly do that out of respect to you and the community here. I seriously doubt I would relate so closely to the vast majority of other posts I enjoy reading so much- this one just hit close to home for a number of reasons.

      SD – thank you!

      Reply
    • Jr.Leaguer says

      August 11, 2018 at 7:31 pm

      @TT: I got about half way through Carrie’s diatribe to me. She was very off base with her response to me and hopefully she sees my response to her. Here where I live, a lot of heavy duty scripts are written for minor issues…like the TWO WEEKS of OXY for removing my wisdom teeth!!!
      Medicine pays the bills here, so I do not need her to school me on pain levels.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 8:13 pm

        Jr.Leaguer- I just replied to you within your original comment thread. I can assure you I wasn’t trying to “school you” about anything. I don’t know you, so I wouldn’t have any way of knowing that “medicine pays the bills here,” from what you originally stated. Please consider that I can be long winded. That’s all.

        I completely agree that 2 weeks of oxycodone for a wisdom tooth extraction sounds inappropriate unless there is something else MUCH more serious going on. That’s crazy to me, too! I’m really thankful that you know better… can you even imagine what could have happened if you weren’t as aware as you are? It’s really scary!

        I certainly meant no offense, and to take what I said as an attack towards you personally makes me very sad. I really felt like I treated you with respect, so my head is spinning. I’m in tremendous pain right now and I intended to be kind. Please give me the benefit of the doubt, because I wish I could assure you in person, and I can’t.

        This is my first time commenting here (or anywhere, really). This kind of misunderstanding between people online is exactly what has scared me away from participating before. I meant no harm.

        Reply
        • jodie says

          August 12, 2018 at 1:38 am

          Carrie if this is your first time commenting, here’s a comment 101 – get in, get out. Long post are usually annoying and goes unread.

          Reply
          • Naomi says

            August 12, 2018 at 11:52 am

            LIKE your comment ?

            Reply
          • radchick says

            August 14, 2018 at 12:12 pm

            Another tip is you don’t have to comment on every single post. This, too, is the only site I read and comment on. That’s why I loved the “like” button. I could agree with a comment without writing a word. (However, I did notice while the like button appeared, fewer comments were made)

            I went through something similar while posting on the Imposter’s threads. I noticed the more I posted and responded to every comment, the less comments there were. It dawned on me I needed to sit down and shut the f*ck up.

            Over.

            Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 11, 2018 at 8:16 pm

      While information is okay, it’s the armchair quarterbacking that is so damned inappropriate. So many
      know- it-alls who just can’t stop.

      This man just died for Pete’s sake!!

      Reply
      • Miranda says

        August 11, 2018 at 8:18 pm

        This was in response to Tamara’s question.

        Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        August 11, 2018 at 9:19 pm

        THANK YOU. This post is about someone who died. The hijacking is inappropriate and infuriating.

        Reply
        • angieindarwin says

          August 13, 2018 at 10:47 am

          Well Said TT………Love your work by the way!

          Reply
        • Daintyfeets says

          August 14, 2018 at 8:49 pm

          My sister suffers from neuropathy and a bent spine and a myriad of other ailments. She doesnt like to take the heavy duty drugs even tho she does when she cant stand it. The one thing that works best for her is a salve called “nordic goddess.” Available in every state that sells recreational marijuana. I’m doing a run thru CO later this month and bringing 10 jars home to her. It’s the only thing that helps and doesnt fuck her up, at all. Just FYI.

          Reply
    • Kdwagz says

      August 11, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      I haven’t seen anyone post that much before. Maybe I just haven’t been so irritated by it before. It sort of ruins the dialogue, but maybe she is just passionate about the topic.

      Reply
    • Naomi says

      August 12, 2018 at 11:50 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  49. bubs says

    August 11, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    was he wearing skinny girljeans. tt why do you kiss these peoples ass . what are you paid

    Reply
    • Kdwagz says

      August 11, 2018 at 8:33 pm

      What a disgusting thing to say.

      Reply
      • Miranda says

        August 11, 2018 at 8:41 pm

        It sure is! Just a troll…maybe it’s Carole. It would be her style…no caps and poor punctuation.
        Writer girl.

        Reply
        • Carrie says

          August 11, 2018 at 8:43 pm

          I still laugh when I hear “writer girl”!!!

          Reply
      • bubs says

        August 13, 2018 at 12:21 am

        what a disgusting thing to reply. was betheneeee having a skinny girl pr op. you cant be that naive

        Reply
  50. Observer2 says

    August 11, 2018 at 9:05 pm

    Carrie,

    Do you have a sister named Sabrina?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      August 11, 2018 at 9:44 pm

      Oh holy hell. Is that what this is?

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 9:46 pm

        Nope, but this is REALLY creepy, though!!!, TT, thank you for asking/bringing this to my attention.

        Reply
    • Carrie says

      August 11, 2018 at 9:52 pm

      I don’t have a sister named Sabrina, and I also don’t appreciate you asking a personal question like that. It may be an innocent question from your perspective, but it creeps me the hell out for an internet stranger to ask me something on a blog that could potentially dox me. Not sure who you are, but I’m not related to anyone by the name Sabrina, and think it’s incredibky intrusive of you to ask. Please don’t ask me anything like that again.

      Reply
      • Carrie says

        August 11, 2018 at 10:00 pm

        I’m hoping like hell this question is some kind of joke, or something… like a reference I don’t understand. Otherwise, I probably won’t sleep well tonight because I’m so creeped out.

        Reply
  51. Addison says

    August 11, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    When it comes to Bethenny I can take her or leave her. But dang that poor woman has been through a lot in the last 5 yrs. I just hope this isn’t the thing that casuses her to go off the deep end. First that crazy ex husband and now this. My condolences to the family and Bethenny.

    Reply
  52. Janet says

    August 11, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    It sounds like Dennis may have been heartbroken too over the relationship. I just think those off and on relationships are really tough. To have hope, then no hope. I think sometimes people think people are stronger than they are.

    Reply
  53. DillyDilly says

    August 12, 2018 at 1:53 am

    I can remember reading an article awhile back . . . an interview with Dennis about his relationship with Bethenny. In it he says, “Yes, we do break up a lot” and that he likes to search Google to see how their romance is going. I laughed and thought, no wonder Bethenny loves him . . . he has a great sense of humor and so does she! Such a good fit! My hubby was the same. We had lots of ups and downs too but I couldn’t stay mad at him for more than a minute. Now, that he’s is gone, I find that I miss laughing with him the most. I get it. I’m sure Bethenny’s loss is much greater than we will ever know. My prayers are for her, his children and all who loved him.

    Reply
  54. Katherine 2.0 says

    August 12, 2018 at 6:28 am

    Wish this site had an IGNORE or BLOCK button. Jesus Fucking Christ.

    Reply
    • Floridagirl says

      August 12, 2018 at 9:36 am

      For sure! I enjoy coming here and reading TT’s blogs and many insightful post from commenters but when one person highjacks the whole thread it’s too much. After a point I only scroll though to see what TT has added. Thank you for adding the “new” clause in your commenting rules Tamara!

      Reply
    • T D says

      August 12, 2018 at 12:19 pm

      On a cracker. The gospels are shorter. An over zealous Carrie Nation needs some self prohibition.

      Reply
      • Miranda says

        August 12, 2018 at 4:06 pm

        ^This!

        Reply
  55. Mary says

    August 12, 2018 at 8:29 am

    Looks like Dennis’s wife, Jill, has come out fighting and territorial. She has declared him the love of his life, has said she spoke with him daily, and that she will see him in 50 years.

    Photos of his great looking family are posted, and prominent friends have spoken on how good and kind he was.

    They want the attention off Bethenny.

    Reply
    • Valley View says

      August 12, 2018 at 11:49 am

      Bethenny has been kind enough to allow Dennis’ family to have the spotlight. Dennis came into the public eye via Bethenny and Jill stayed in the background until his death. I believe it to be very gracious on Bethenny’s part to stand back for now and keep her comments private. I hope the relationship she forged with the Shields children can continue for the benefit of both the Shields children and Bryn.

      One of the more touching things she said about Dennis is being a big guy she felt safe with him. It would seem Dennis enjoyed that role and was very good at being there for family and friends. Such a sad ending to a life that touched so many. RIP Dennis Shields.

      Reply
      • Mary says

        August 12, 2018 at 1:30 pm

        Beautiful sentiments, VV. Sad to think that she will be most likely relegated to visit prior to family so she doesn’t take away the spotlight. Support of friends is key here.

        Reply
    • Ktina says

      August 14, 2018 at 4:48 pm

      Well no shit…they were married for 25 YEARS and had children. Bethanny dated the guy. The focus should be on his family, not bethanny.

      Reply
  56. Maybelle says

    August 12, 2018 at 4:45 pm

    Sooooooo, He had a drug problem? My condolences to the family, but this opiods mess is a serious problem. You never know who else may have a drug problem?

    Reply
    • MeAgain says

      August 12, 2018 at 5:33 pm

      I’m thinking the poor guy just had an accidental overdose and it is sadder than sad that he knew it was happening, and the Narcan couldn’t help him 🙁

      He always seemed like a really sweet, shy guy on the show with Bethenny. I just got that impression from his cute little smiles and few words.

      Reply
  57. MeAgain says

    August 12, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    If it did then I would ignore/ block comments that contained the phrase “Jesus fucking Christ”.

    Reply
    • Katherine 2.0 says

      August 12, 2018 at 11:08 pm

      Oh, I am suitably chastised. Begging your pardon, Mother Theresa.

      Reply
      • MeAgain says

        August 14, 2018 at 9:40 am

        Cute. But, your assumptions are incorrect.

        Reply
        • Katherine 2.0 says

          August 14, 2018 at 12:07 pm

          I don’t really care, do you?

          Reply
  58. Nanette says

    August 12, 2018 at 10:42 pm

    I hope I don’t go to WLS for this. But … This has turned into a serious discussion on opioid use and abuse. For Carrie and mystrox, who deal with it daily, and anyone who would like insight into the view of a person in chronic pain, google Rick Lunkenheimer. A link to his piece for the Huff Post will come up. A very eloquent, erudite, and moving piece on his experiences on chronic pain and fighting to keep a life semi-free of pain.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      August 12, 2018 at 11:35 pm

      The fact that people want to pontificate about the opiod crisis on a post about one man’s death is exactly the problem. Someone has died. It’s not really necessary to write 47 essays on the opiod crisis as if none of us are aware of the problem. This post is not about the opiod crisis. It’s about the loss of someone on a television show that we watch.

      Reply
      • SashaV says

        August 13, 2018 at 12:28 am

        Amen

        Over

        Reply
  59. SuzyJane says

    August 13, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Tamara, Bethenny posted a sweet instagram pic. My cheeks are wet and my heart breaks for her loss.

    Reply
    • Ktina says

      August 14, 2018 at 4:49 pm

      Oh for Pete’s sake

      Reply
  60. Daintyfeets says

    August 14, 2018 at 8:58 pm

    We watch these people on our TV’s and get attached. We read recaps and blogs and feel attached. We have real feelings of happiness and sadness when things go sideways. Some of us get triggered and bemoan the death, but are happy it’s not us. My take on Bethanny is she is a one girlfriend, one boyfriend type of person and when shes in, shes all in. Carole rejecting her, after getting to know the high cost of friendship tore her apart. Dennis did not reject her and appeared to love her in spite of herself. I’m sure bethanny is devastated and I’m sure Jill and their children are devastated. I’m devastated because people I do not know have to go through the devastation of losing someone they love. PEACE AND LOVE

    Reply

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