I was up until eight am this morning wringing out every last drop of Bayleigh’s last moments on the live feeds and it did not disappoint. So I slept until about 2 pm and woke up to a bulging inbox. (I wish that was a metaphor, sadly, it is not). There were a few hilarious questions about Tori Spelling in my email and one explanation of the insanity.
The difference between sites that work hard, and get their own sources and have accurate information and other sites that use those sites to generate stories or just make things up for hits is apparent in this hilarious story about Tori Spelling. Let’s see how this stupidity got started…
Yesterday, some site I’ve never heard of called Good Tea (this will be funny soon) posted the following:
PROMISE I DID NOT USE THE SEARCH BAR!! But my sources say that Tori Spelling has been confirmed for RHOBH And the announcement will be made tomorrow morning PST by PEOPLE mag. The first gathering of all the girls with Tori will take place at Benihana’s.
The quote is from a private Facebook group called Whispering Alenes. This is a group snarky, fun-loving folks that formed around the podcast Bitch Sesh. I’m not a member but I know people who are. Sometimes they email me about rumors they have heard. They hang out and talk about reality and write parodies and chat about the latest shows and rumors. They were speculating about who the next RHOBH should be and people wrote funny little parody announcements about the most ridiculous possibilities. Tori Spelling was one of those people. Because, ridiculous.
I need my purple pen. This is the source that Good Tea was using. It’s great that they cited the source and linked to it, but before dashing off to post about it as if it were something possible on planet earth, perhaps someone should have put on a thinking cap.
PROMISE I DID NOT USE THE SEARCH BAR!!
This is a jab at all the sites that say “our sources say” when their sources are something they read on a credible site they are pretending they just found out about on their own. This is a tactic used by places like Page Six. There is one author there I have reported several times for stealing my exclusives and crediting the story to “their sources.” Inquistor does this a lot as well. This is because they hire tons of writers to get out as many stories as possible to generate ad revenue without regard to whether or not the story is true and often just regurgitate stories from other sites linking only to the large sites with the full-time legal team. So when sites say “our sources say…” You have to be familiar with the site and make judgement from their past work. There are sites with sources I find credible and sites I do not. Don’t ask for a list, this is something you must determine about all sites you read, including this one.
But my sources say that Tori Spelling has been confirmed for RHOBH
The new RHOBH was announced this week. It’s Denise Richards. Casting is over. And even if it was not, does Tori Spelling seem like someone RHOBH would cast to you? Does this make sense in your head?
And the announcement will be made tomorrow morning PST by PEOPLE mag.
Does tomorrow morning PST sound legit to you? Or does it sound like someone being humorous? Because morning is…well morning.
The first gathering of all the girls with Tori will take place at Benihana’s.
So even if you manage to give the source the benefit of the doubt this far (and if you did you are not very smart) this should make you laugh out loud. There is no way you do not get the joke by this point. Do you not remember when Tori sued Benihana’s for catching her on fire or some dumb shit? Or when Andy mocked her on WWHL for having third degree burns?
So of course Inquistor picked up the story, those brilliant minds at Reddit bought the story hook line and sinker, and now more sites are picking up the story which means more people will come ask me about it. My friends in Whispering Alenes keeps telling me the list of people publishing this story and laughing. It totally feels like April Fools today.
So my day started late but with hysterical laughter with Internet friends. And y’all got a mini-lesson on critical reading skills.