I was up until eight am this morning wringing out every last drop of Bayleigh’s last moments on the live feeds and it did not disappoint. So I slept until about 2 pm and woke up to a bulging inbox. (I wish that was a metaphor, sadly, it is not). There were a few hilarious questions about Tori Spelling in my email and one explanation of the insanity.
The difference between sites that work hard, and get their own sources and have accurate information and other sites that use those sites to generate stories or just make things up for hits is apparent in this hilarious story about Tori Spelling. Let’s see how this stupidity got started…
Yesterday, some site I’ve never heard of called Good Tea (this will be funny soon) posted the following:
PROMISE I DID NOT USE THE SEARCH BAR!! But my sources say that Tori Spelling has been confirmed for RHOBH And the announcement will be made tomorrow morning PST by PEOPLE mag. The first gathering of all the girls with Tori will take place at Benihana’s.
The quote is from a private Facebook group called Whispering Alenes. This is a group snarky, fun-loving folks that formed around the podcast Bitch Sesh. I’m not a member but I know people who are. Sometimes they email me about rumors they have heard. They hang out and talk about reality and write parodies and chat about the latest shows and rumors. They were speculating about who the next RHOBH should be and people wrote funny little parody announcements about the most ridiculous possibilities. Tori Spelling was one of those people. Because, ridiculous.
I need my purple pen. This is the source that Good Tea was using. It’s great that they cited the source and linked to it, but before dashing off to post about it as if it were something possible on planet earth, perhaps someone should have put on a thinking cap.
PROMISE I DID NOT USE THE SEARCH BAR!!
This is a jab at all the sites that say “our sources say” when their sources are something they read on a credible site they are pretending they just found out about on their own. This is a tactic used by places like Page Six. There is one author there I have reported several times for stealing my exclusives and crediting the story to “their sources.” Inquistor does this a lot as well. This is because they hire tons of writers to get out as many stories as possible to generate ad revenue without regard to whether or not the story is true and often just regurgitate stories from other sites linking only to the large sites with the full-time legal team. So when sites say “our sources say…” You have to be familiar with the site and make judgement from their past work. There are sites with sources I find credible and sites I do not. Don’t ask for a list, this is something you must determine about all sites you read, including this one.
But my sources say that Tori Spelling has been confirmed for RHOBH
The new RHOBH was announced this week. It’s Denise Richards. Casting is over. And even if it was not, does Tori Spelling seem like someone RHOBH would cast to you? Does this make sense in your head?
And the announcement will be made tomorrow morning PST by PEOPLE mag.
Does tomorrow morning PST sound legit to you? Or does it sound like someone being humorous? Because morning is…well morning.
The first gathering of all the girls with Tori will take place at Benihana’s.
So even if you manage to give the source the benefit of the doubt this far (and if you did you are not very smart) this should make you laugh out loud. There is no way you do not get the joke by this point. Do you not remember when Tori sued Benihana’s for catching her on fire or some dumb shit? Or when Andy mocked her on WWHL for having third degree burns?
Le sigh.
So of course Inquistor picked up the story, those brilliant minds at Reddit bought the story hook line and sinker, and now more sites are picking up the story which means more people will come ask me about it. My friends in Whispering Alenes keeps telling me the list of people publishing this story and laughing. It totally feels like April Fools today.
So my day started late but with hysterical laughter with Internet friends. And y’all got a mini-lesson on critical reading skills.
Hahaha! Please tell me no one actually believed this!
Not only do sites believe it, they are putting up posts where their own “sources” are confirming it! It’s hysterical.
So AshleyJ is the ‘source’? LOL
LOL, that Benihana reference was the dead giveaway.
ikr? the benihana line cracked me UP. lol
i admit i was actually hoping against hope that this trainwreck was TRUE, but sadly it is not to be.
is the pic of tori at the bottom titled “waiting for the midwife”? good lord.
That was the best part!!!
I cried laughing when I got to that point!
Is their first team building event at The Four Seasons?
I wasn’t aware of the incident at Benihana but LOL-ed at the image of snooty LVP, Dorit & Erika at Benihana in their stilettos and designer clothes. Imagine Erika hanging out by the hibachi grill in her latex dominatrix outfit?
???
No way in hell !!!! I am still in SHOCK that Denise is getting 4 million for the SEASON!! Highest paid EVER- why???? Who cares about her???
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA LD, You are the target audience for these other sites. You really need to work on your critical thinking skills.
You cannot possibly believe that do you?
Benihana was funny without even knowing about the fire.
Are Benihana’s still in existence? Thanks TT for the laugh!
To anyone who believed it, BLESS YOUR HEART.
Please don’t use that term, it is so annoying. I am from the south and no one here ever says that. You look silly.
You must not be a church goer. It’s said all the time. The problem I have is that yankees think it is a condescending term. It’s not. It is used in genuine situations of comfort, but also sarcastically.
WHats so unbelievable about it ? She’s hurtin for money if I remember correctly
I would only want to see Tori on ‘RHOBH’ if Brandi Glanville came back for a series of episodes and confronted Tori about her past relationship with Eddie Cibrian. I remember Brandi talked about them dating on her podcast a couple years back! LOL
I think Tori and her family are perfect for reality TV . She just nutty enough now to expose a lot of the drama that goes on.
Gee, Tori Spelling on reality TV? I’ve never considered that…
LE SIGH.
Now if they could talk Candy Spelling into signing up for RHOBH, that might be a game changer.
Totally thought the same about Candy lol.
Great minds think alike, lol.
I would rather watch Tori over Dorit any given day on my television and while we are having some fun why not add Tiffany Amber Thiessen to the show. Let’s give LVP a run for the money lol.
Tiffany Amber Thiessen has a pretty good cooking show and REALLY DOES have relationships with people she worked with even YEARS ago. Matt Bomer — a true Southern Gentleman — from “White Collar” speaks highly of her.
These Tori Spelling as new RHBH kind of rumors where everyone claims THEIR SOURCES reminds me of the “smoking banana peels” to get high hoax started by someone (Dick Cavett?) in the 1960s and Johnny Carson’s “toilet paper shortage” joke that really created a toilet paper shortage when many of us waited up half the night for Mayfair Market (the only 24-hour Market back then) to get its TP delivey. (I still hoard TP.) Good thing there was no toilet papel shortage in Cartagena!
What really sucks is Dorit the horrible will find a way to weasel her golden goose droppings into every storyline in the show. We wont be able to fast forward to get away from it. TT why can’t we just have nice things, smh.
Lawdy, I’m having a physical tic reaction to Whispering Alenes being mentioned here, because gnarly flashbacks to FB group implosions and *whispers* the ‘Dome Fight’ breaking off the interwebs and onto WWHL.
My GOD, that was quite the week!
Denise Richards has real friends, seems to live in the realm of common sense and must be one tough lady. I don’t see her screeching loudly about an incredibly stupid topic, however will she ever fit in?
I wonder if her career was curtailed by Weinstein. Just a odd ball thought.
Tori Spelling would had been a hoot with all those kids and her shopping addiction.