We pick up back on shore where most everyone is drunk and Hannah and Conrad are arguing over whether or not Hannah has an expectation that her man be rich and shower her with gifts (she does) or whether she wants to marry for love (I think both are important to her). Adam comes out and gets in the taxi with Hannah to escort her back to the boat. Adam can be a really stand-up guy when he wants to be.
Conrad is upset and sitting outside alone when dickhead Joao comes up and snatches a shoe off his foot. What a fuck up this one is. He keeps on fucking with Conrad and won’t leave him alone and Conrad flicked him in the face and the crew came over to try to deescalate the situation. When the fucktard gets back to the bar, there is Brooke the twatwaffle to congratulate him on doing the right thing. So many fools on this season.
Back on the boat Adam tries to explain to Hannah that she (at least) ten years older than Conrad and you can’t expect him to have built up the sort of wealth she craves. She needs to take responsibility for the decisions she has made with him and quit making him feel like shit because he’s not the man (financially) she wants. When the others return, Brooke tries to crawl into bed with Joao, but he is either passed out or faking it well.
The next morning Brooke squeals straight Captain Sandy about Joao and Conrad having a dust up. Then Sandy starts with her praise of Brooke. Then Brook starts trashing Hannah. Oh, Brooke… have you no loyalty to your fellow crew members?
Kasey and Conrad both tell him is drunken behavior is unacceptable. Conrad tells him to go clean out “the laz” ( a lazerette is a storage closet on the boat). Then off Conrad, Hannah and Adam go to get the deets about the next round of guests.
Hannah tells Conrad she thinks there is no going back from the issue surrounding Conrad expecting her to pay him back the 50 euros he loaned her. He says that something so materialistic and small should not be a deal breaker. She says “that’s her life.” Twice. So Conrad when she tells you she has a materialistic life, you need to accept it. When people tell you who they are, believe them. Hannah goes on to say that love is not enough to keep a relationship together. Conrad wants to work it out. Hannah agrees. They make out while Brooke and Kasey do all the stew work and Conrad, Joao, and Jamie take care of the decks.
Captain Sandy wants us to know that the reason she is eating all of the meals with this group is because she is obliged to when asked. That’s bullshit. One dinner is standard if requested. She’s supposed to be plotting the course and driving the boat. Also, it is ridiculous to ask the deck crew to put all the toys in the water at every anchoring unless the guests actually want to use the toys.
Hannah gives herself the first break. Brooke and Kasey complain that they do all the work and Hannah takes multiple smoke breaks.
At two services the wine store owner has complained about the temperature of the wine. Adam continues to wow the guests with his clam bake. The guests still had to ask for things like bowls for their shells. Adam forgot to cook for the crew. I believe this is fake storyline.
Naples is beautiful. I was there as a child but the only portion of the trip I remember is my mother, who used to make many of my own clothes had bought some very heavy weight polyester (the old, nasty kind) that was floral with a purple background and had made me a romper. Said romper was selected for me to wear on a train ride to Pompeii in the heat of the summer. We managed to miss our stop and got off a stop or two later and we walked in the suffocating heat in that itchy romper to Pompeii. I remember nothing about Pompeii. But I remember that fucking romper and how freaking hot it was and how my parents were short-tempered. I also remember being confused as to why we were going to see where a bunch of people dies in a volcano. Actually, I still really don’t see the point in that.
Can I point out that the primary, Lizzz spells her name with three zs? Make me think of Jiz. Captain Sandy is going on the land tour with Lizzz et. al. because who needs the captain on the boat? I mean they are anchored. What can go wrong? Captain Sandy wants to send people who haven’t gone on an excursion. So Hannah sends Brooke, Kasey and Joao. Jamie is left behind to set up all the water toys. She’s thrilled to have the opportunity. Seriously. She never gets to do anything. Hannah was literally the only one left behind. This is basically because Captain Sandy didn’t want her there, but Brooke and Kasey don’t know that and are furious they are doing all the work.
Brooke and Joao sneak away to the observation deck. She’s planning on going to Zimbabwe with him. She says in her talking head that she is going to trust him until he gives her a reason not to. He’s given her a million reasons.
Captain Sandy FINALLY pays Jamie some attention and lets he drive the boat. At the tip meeting they got about $12k, or just a hair over a thousand dollars. It seemed like a short cruise to me.
While Brooke is tarting herself up for that lovely catch, Joao. He’s got Kasey’s phone and is “snapping a dickie” for her down his pants. I believe this is reason 2,203,997 that Brooke needs to grow a brain. Hannah goes to tell her about it.
Next week: Joao’s inappropriate behavior spills over onto the guests. Brooke confronts Hannah for making her do all the work, and Adam seems to have a thing for one of the guests.