Y’all, I have been on the BB live feeds all day and still have them on my second laptop while doing this recap. It’s a sickness. This is one of the best seasons in years. But I am going to pull myself away from that and The Bachelorette (don’t spoil me, bro) to recap this week’s craziness in Orange County.
Vicki takes Tamra to the doctor to get a US opinion on her broken foot. Vicki embarrassed the hot doctor with the details of Tamra’s naked fall. The doctor says it is a very slow healing fracture and if she doesn’t keep it immobile she might need surgery to fix it.
Emily goes to work out with her in-laws and her five-year old. They are NOT at Cut fitness. There will be hell to pay for this. Emily’s husband has taken the bar exam several times and has not passed. His mom wants her to motivate him study more.
Kelly and Vicki meet to talk about the Michael situation. Vicki is so bad at listening to other people when they are trying to explain how she has caused them pain. Vicki should have gotten her new face before the season started rather than during it. Vicki starts talking about how she expects respect from Kelly. Why can’t she just say that she did what she thought was best for Kelly, Michael wanted to be the one to tell her he was dating, and she is so sorry that she feels betrayed. How do you get to be fifty something and not have perfected your apology skills? This whole conversation is all about Vicki. Kelly accepts her shitty apology.
Shannon is cooking. I am paying attention to her oven shelf arrangement. I have three shelves in the new oven and I am not sure how to place them. Does Shannon even know how to cook? How did she get a QVC deal? Even her kids don’t like the food. Who puts cream cheese in calories.
Gina’s kids are just as obnoxious as she is. Apple. Tree. Her mom is there to add a third generation of annoying. She takes the kids to the zoo and they all try to climb into the cages with the other wild animals.
Tamra is taking Shannon to meet the two new girls. We get a montage of Shannon hating every new person ever to come on the show. Vicki and Kelly are coming as well as last minute additions. Shannon is a law school drop out. I can’t fathom her going doing well in law school.
Vicki asks Gina when she moved from New Jersey. This offended the New Yorker. She says they first moved to Newport and she can’t stand it there. Shannon shares that she lives in Newport. Shannon says she isn’t dating but her ex husband is and he and his much younger girlfriend post inappropriate things on social media. Vicki says it is so bizarre when they do that. Kelly says what is bizarre is her setting her ex up with her friends. Here we go again. Gina and Emily both take Kelly’s side on the issue. Gina says it is basic girl code. Kelly agrees. Vicki is pissed. Gina basically calls Vicki a loser the first night they meet. This will not go well for her. Vicki is livid.
Out of the clear blue sky, Kelly has invited a date to a girls dinner. Doesn’t that violate girls code? He’s a “spine doctor” and he is very affectionate in his greeting of Kelly. When he sits down Kelly starts making out with him at the table. Everyone is shocked. So they all leave.
Why are there so many flashbacks to previous seasons on this episode? Is it because it is so boring? If the “Three Amigas” keep doing this stupid dance thing all season, I may have to tap out.
Back at Tamra’s house she is saging the negative energy out of the house. There are many, many issues going on with Tamra’s house. Eddie’s first surgery didn’t work. Gina stops by and Tamra tells he that Vicki hates her. Welcome to the club, Vicki. Tamra says Vicki expects everyone to bow down to her. Gina says that is not how it is going to work with her. Gina says she might make it her goal to make Vicki like her.
I don’t care if Emily’s husband takes the bar exam or not.
Gina and Vicki go for a walk together. Vicki tells Gina that she should keep her opinions to herself unless the situation applies to her. Vicki tells her not to gossip. Vicki tells us this her sandbox and she decides who gets to play in it.
Next Week: The issues with Kelly and Vicki are rehashed in front of new people. I’m bored already.