Y’all I am so excited to recap this show I have been waiting all night but we have tornadoes headed to Athens, GA right now where I have a brother and nieces and nephews so I am a bit rattled. I’ll try to focus because THIS IS THE EPISODE WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
Meanwhile, Sonja, Ramona, Carole and Dorinda have been trying to stir up the press with negative press on Bethenny lately. So petty these bitches are. They will all come crawling back to Bethenny next season. Mark my words. And Bethenny has said nothing in response.
Sonja and Bethenny are the first ones to breakfast and Bethenny is just emotionally exhausted over the Carole thing. I really do feel like Bethenny was gutted by the loss of that friendship. We can argue all day about how much of a role she had in it ending, but in the end, it was very painful for her, clearly. Next up is Ramona. Then the rest straggle end except for Dorinda. The girls have an hour and a half boat ride to Scary Island today. Dorinda straggles in drunk at breakfast and starts right up with Luann. Clearly, Dorinda doesn’t remember what she said the night before. Bethenny tries to stand up for Lu and Carole and Dorinda start screaming a Bethenny to stay out of it. Well, Dorinda is drunk screaming, Carole is speaking in a normal tone. Since when are people not allowed to stick up for their friends? Bethenny was simply trying to tell Dorinda she will regret being such a drunken cunt to Lu if she ever sobers up. Why is Carole interfering in that? Bethenny actually points this out. Dorinda leaves to get a drink. Dorinda regrets nothing in her talking head.
We move on to Carole and Bethenny fighting. I do see Carole’s side of this friendship breakup as well. But, all of the things she is saying about Bethenny have been the case for their entire friendship. Carole finds Bethenny exhausting and self-centered at times and she’s just not that into maintaining the friendship now that she has Tinsley who is much more fun and silly and childish and will also take her on trips. She friend jumped and Bethenny is hurt by it. Carole is happier for it. That’s that. All the while, the funeral spray from Scott looms in the background, a sad testament to the way straight men, even rich ones do not know how to send flowers.
Carole thinks they should cancel the boat trip. Now, what’s the fun of that? I LOVE what Carole is wearing and I never say that about Carole. That’s my sort of beach look. Carole tells Dorinda to sort things out with Lu before the excursion. Still drunk Dorinda goes to talk to Lu. Dorinda swears she had only had one drink when Lu said she was turning. Oh, the denial is strong in this one. She’s likely had three or four before going to film “breakfast.” Then she demands an apology from Luann. Lu apologizes for making Dorinda feel judged. Dorinda clearly doesn’t remember the things she said to Lu. When they hug it out, Dorinda says, “Let’s go away for 21 days together.” She totally knows she needs rehab. Lu says she will go with her.
More of Carole and Bethenny. It’s heartbreaking. I think they are both devastated.
At this point I’d like to point out that I was right AGAIN about the Page Six story being full of shit. Because I am petty and it is true. I’m devastated that site tells lies and occasionally steals my work without credit. I’m finally making enough money were I can have an attorney on retainer to take them on.
Meanwhile, Bethenny says she can’t take poops and is always constipated. I’m going to pass on her reasons and just diagnose her myself with being anal retentive. Also, from the reviews I’ve read she clearly doesn’t drink her own Skinny Girl margaritas. Or perhaps that much alcohol at all. The girls arrive on the boat to champagne and love the boat. I hope they sue Page Six for all the slanderous comments. It’s a lovely boat. Bethenny and Carole call a truce for the trip.
The house is amazing. It’s on a tiny private island I want to live there, Carole and Lu scare Ramona with a crab. I am in love with this place. Sonja keeps the tags on her clothes to sell on consignment shops. Everyone is happy.
Bethenny talks to Dorinda about her behavior. Dorinda is still drunk. She hasn’t been sober this entire trip. Bethenny is so kind to her and Dorinda is so mean to Bethenny in the press. Dorinda apologizes to Lu. Lu says that Dorinda needs to do a self inventory. In her talking head, Dorinda says Lu is projecting. Actually Lu is trying to help Dorinda. She is way worse than Lu ever was. It’s only a matter of time until Dorinda has a mug shot.
Then Tinsely joins Bethenny and Carole for lunch (and the others come later) but it was an awkward set u by production,
Lu and Sonja rehearse for the Cabaret.
The girls get kicked off the island due to weather. Lu lost her phone on the island. Everyone has to be evacuated, again another little detail that Page Six left out while claiming anchors were cut and all sorts of other nonsense. It’s an hour and a half of really high swells. Everyone is screaming except for Carole who is puking. I get it, I’m a puker too.
Sorry distracted by current weather here in the ATL area.
Filming had to stop because they were all about to die! We pick up 17 hours later. That seems like a long ass time for the crew to be out of commission. Everyone thought they were going to die. The bought engine apparently was smoking. Something about the anchor deploying accidentally. And the anchor being cut off and if that had not happened the boat would have capsized.
At least that is the crazy version of it all, So we know who gave that report to Page Six..
Tinsley on the other hand says this happens all the time on the islands and they have to come back in rough waters when the seas get high, Oh Lord, Carole wants to compare this to Afghanistan. I cant’t with her. She was there with an entire team She was in minimal danger. Yet she says the war in Afghanistan was nothing compared to what happened on that boat. Fuck you Carole, 20,000 plus US soliders were injured or dies in Afghanistan. You had a bumpy boat ride home on a trip of a lifetime. Shut the fuck up.
Dorinda has a huge hangover. Everyone had diarrhea except Bethenny and Tinsley.
Next week: More stupidity.