In case you missed the big news today, Carole is quitting the show! Bethenny is in the middle of a full blown panic attack and Dorinda is trying to talk her down. Dorinda talks crap about Bethenny in her talking head. So does Carole.
They end up in the most ridiculous store and it’s expensive. Carole ignores Bethenny and whispers about her to Dorinda. Sonja tells Bethenny all the crap the others are saying. Ramona is the biggest trash talker of them all. Bethenny wants to call Dennis and have him send her a plane. She wants to go home. Dennis manages to calm her down and everyone goes to lunch. It’s awkward. Dorinda, Carole and Tinsley bail on the group get massages. Bethenny bought a ton of clothes.
Carole goes to talk to Sonja and gives her earrings. What she really wants is a panty liner to cover her camel toe but that was not an option. Carole wants to know if she has any insight into why Bethenny is upset with her. How can these two be so at odds without either of them really knowing why?
Let’s Put On Pretty Dresses And Fight!
The ladies all get gussied up again to go to the nightly brawl. Sonja tells Bethenny that Carole came to her room to talk about Bethenny. The food looks amazing. Carole and Dorinda both take a smoke break. Carole comes back to the table to talk to Bethenny about how she has been avoiding her for weeks. They seem to have had some blowout over the summer that Carole thought they had gotten past but clearly Bethenny hasn’t. Bethenny is irritated that Tinsley is listening in. I totally think this whole is about Bethenny feeling abandoned by Carole when Tinsley showed up.
Meanwhile at the other end of the table, Luann tries to make pleasant conversation. She asks Dorinda how her margarita is and Dorinda responds with “Why would you ask me that?” Luann says, “she’s starting!” and Dorinda is offended by that as well. Luann says that Dorinda drinks to a certain point and then gets mean. We are at that point where slurry Dorinda says, “A countess got married and now she’s not a countess anymore.” And then “You drink some more and get arrested, honey.”
Dorinda breaks a glass in Luann’s general direction. Luann gets up to leave and Dorinda stands up and gets in her face. Dorinda brings up Luann’s mugshot. The waiter tries to replace Dorinda’s drink and Ramona cuts her off. Dorinda tells Ramona that she will never speak to Luann again. Dorinda goes to smoke. When she comes back Luann leaves in a cab. Ramona points out that Dorinda does become very aggressive when she drinks. Dorinda denies this while being very aggressive with Ramona. Dorinda repeatedly tells Ramona to shut her mouth.
Bethenny and Carole Fight Too!
But we can’t see what is going on because the camera goes back to Bethenny and Carole having their own issues at the other end of the table. Bethenny is upset that Carole left the restaurant last night when she was crying. Carole claims she didn’t know she was crying. Bethenny says she also called her toxic. Bethenny says she doesn’t recognize her anymore.
Carole says she is her friend and the same person she has always been. She is not the one who has changed. They both say to the other that maybe they just don’t like them. Bethenny tells Carols she loves her. She says she would never leave her crying and call her toxic. Bethenny is bringing up the time she texted to Carole that she missed her and her reaction was, “wow, that’s a lot.” Bethenny screams at Carole to pull up the texts. Carole gives Bethenny a kiss and walks to the bathroom. Bethenny is still crying and says to no one in particular, “This is the worst vacation I’ve ever been on in my life!”
How Do We Solve A Problem Like Dorinda?
There is twenty more minutes of this show! On the van home Dorinda says that Luann will be drinking again in three months. Dorinda will be drinking again as soon as she gets out of the van.
Bethenny went back to the house after Lu but before the rest of the girls and Luann tells Bethenny what Dorinda said to her. Luann is still crying. Dorinda is alone in another room with a big glass of wine. Bethenny tells Luann a story about their time in Puerto Rico that she says she hasn’t told anyone. She tells her about Dorinda’s drunken behavior toward her team in Miami. Bethenny says that Dorinda needs to go get help. Bethenny says Dorinda knows she has a problem.
Dorinda talks to Carole about her fight with Luann. Dorinda thinks she deserves an apology from Luann. Wow. Bethenny tries to talk to Dorinda but Dorinda is incomprehensible.
Next week: No one is even sure if they like anyone anymore. So what better time for a near death experience on the boat ride from hell and a trip to SCARY ISLAND 2!