I’m not much of a hate watcher. If I hate a show I watch something I do like. However, I am really enjoying this season of Below Deck even though Captain Sandy, Joao and Kasey are extremely dislikable this season. Every season needs a villain, but three? It’s irking me to no end. And now I am crying over some children’s choir on America’s Got Talent. I need a moment of Woosah!
Okay, let’s do this! We return to Brooke declaring her “blatant chemistry” with Joao. Le sigh. Did she not see the exact same game “blatant chemistry” with Joao and Kasey three minutes ago? And this girl actually flew to Zimbabwe after the show! How silly she must feel now? The smartest thing is this scene is the empty bottle of Otte rosé it’s a very nice rosé! At least Kasey is smart enough to feel stupid. Joao and Brooke sleep in the same bunk.
The guests that threw multiple hissyfits about onions and drank eight bottles of vodka a day last season are back. The same two primaries with four new people. Adam stupidly throws away all the onions o the boat. I love onions and this is a tragedy! A newly engaged couple and two women. But first the crew gets a day off.
Jamie is feeling lousy. Hannah is developing feelings for Conrad. Adam’s thoughts on the subject? “I’m pretty sure Hannah is going to break his dick off.” Jaime keeps coughing like she has typhoid fever or something. Colin is sad that Brooke is into Joao because he has feeling for her. Despite being ill, Jaime had the waiter fill up a penis shaped water gun with vodka. He served it on a silver platter. This is a classy establishment. After a day of drinking, it’s time for dinner and drinks. Or perhaps lunch and drinks. Hard to say. At one end of the table Hannah and Kasey talk about Brooke having to learn the lesson about Joao the hard way. At the other end of the table Brooke is listening and let’s them know she can hear them. I get that Brooke is setting herself up for a hard fall, but surely Kasey and Hannah have other things they could talk about. It gets dark during the meal so it was definitely dinner.
Back on the boat, Hannah is trashing Brooke to Conrad. Really? This is your best use of your time with this little plaything? Conrad points out that Hannah is obsessed with Brooke and Joao. Somehow these two end up arguing. Hannah is drunk or as she calls it, “very passionate about what I am talking about.” Hannah storms off to find someone else to talk about it with. Brilliant decision, Hannah.
Meanwhile, Joao invites Brooke to Zimbabwe by telling charming stories about how his mother was beaten by thugs when he was 16 and she was two months pregnant, and other charming tales. Then he goes to the head to drunk cry. Eventually Brooke goes to see if he is in bed with Kasey okay. They embrace as he cries. Oh for the love of all that is holy! Joao tells us he is responsible for his mother and his sister and he basically feels guilty being on the boat. I am unmoved by the tears. He needs to treat women with more respect. He’s just like the guys that attacked him and his pregnant mother. Brooke on the other hand tells him he is an awesome person.
Hannah sleeps in her own bed and has a panic attack. She gets up to go talk to Adam at 4 a.m. She told him early that she was falling for Conrad and that she pulls away from guys when she is getting to close emotionally due to past childhood losses related to males leaving her.
On the first day of charter, just before the guests arrive, Jaime goes to the doctor and Hannah is in her room by anxiety. She’s crying and throwing up. I think most of it is a hangover. Captain Sandy goes to yell at Hannah but realizes she is having a full-blown panic attack. She is very truthful with Captain Sandy about her anxiety over falling in love. Amazingly, Captain Sandy is very sweet to her and tells her not to run away from love and tells her to just get some rest. She’s literally gagging in her bunk. Hannah gets dressed to greet the guests. Captain Sandy tells her to greet the guests and go back to bed. So they are down a head stew and a deckhand. Jamie comes back from the doctor to let Captain Sandy know she has bronchitis.
The guests seem so nice when they arrive. But already know better. Fifteen minutes before lunch service, they decide that they want to eat on the beach. And of course the answer has to be yes. That is the disaster that will begin next episode. Please God let the coughing and puking stop by next episode!
When did Captain Sandy turn into such a jerk ?? I can’t stand her !
She was actually nice this episode!
True….but I’m not sure one episode makes up for all the other ones. Not really trusting this new Sandy YET.
I was actually expecting Sandy to lose it when she was consoling Hannah. I thought for sure she was going to be mad about her being “sick” over a boat affair. But she was so nice! I was shocked.
Brooke is a typical saver. She is going to save Joao. Good luck to ya! He is a jerk. Though, if those stories are real, I completely understand his walls.
If those stories are true wouldn’t you expect him to have the utmost love and respect for women? Instead he treats women like things to be played with….sick!
SHe still tolerates so much more than Cap’n Lee. Hannah doesn’t run as tight a ship as Kate either
She has to take Capt. Sandy’s lead. Also, Capt. Lee has Kate’s back unequivocally… Hannah sure as fuck doesn’t have that.
Kate could light a primary on fire and Captain Lee would defend her. It’s nauseating. I love him but he is good friends with Kate and thinks she does no wrong.
I completely agree TT and I’ve never liked either one. Both way too full of themselves. I stopped watching them last season.
That may be true, but fact is, Hannah can’t run a tight stew crew when her boss is loosey goosey with the favoritism and you are NEVER on that favorite list. I don’t even trust her kindness last night. I mean, instead of EVER giving Kasey a lecture or a “you need to work hard, keep your mouth shut, and learn from Hannah” speech, she blamed Hannah for not training her in things Hannah thought Kasey already knew! EVERYONE knows they can shit on her, do things that make them likeable to Sandy, and Sandy will override any of Hannah’s concerns.
You hit the nail on the nose with that comment, Erica., especially with Capt. Sandy’s reaction to the Kasey lies. Hannah doesn’t have back-up from the one person on board who should really support all her decisions.
Thanks EnglishRose. I keep thinking about how Capt. Lee would have handled it and if he had chosen not to have Kasey fired, he DAMN WELL would have called Kasey on the carpet and said exactly what I said Sandy should have. You give forgiveness, a second chance, and an opportunity to learn when there has been genuine remorse and someone has actually asked for those things. Instead, everyone else gave Kasey a “oh you learned how to make coffee for the Captain? Everything else is no big deal” Which is why I wish Kasey had washed everyone’s clothes in hot water with a new red shirt.
Oh Brooke, such a tool.
Nice to see a little more of Jamie and Colin, but I want to see a lot more of Jamie and Colin.
Hannah just needs to get over herself. Not with the panic attack, but with all her usual drama and chief stew BS about how long she’s been in yachting and how much respect she thinks she deserves.
Bet you’ve never had a panic attack. You never see/feel them coming on until you are in it which scares the shit out of you and only makes it worse.
I have… although I usually see them coming because they are related to travel and I know when I’m going to be traveling. But I said NOT with the panic attack. I wasn’t judging that at all. It is all the rest with Hannah where she keeps giving her resume and acting like she’s above things.
I am still trying to figure out what color Kasey’s hair is supposed to be!? Who would purposefully dye it that color???
I think she probably dyes it herself, going for a blonde shade, but doesn’t use a toner or something. Hair as dark as hers needs to be lightened by a professional to look decent.
Definitely a toner problem and a foundation color problem on her face
Eventually Brooke goes to see if he is in bed with Kasey.
Haaa! Love it.
The previews for the rest of the season look pretty good.
Hannah that wasn’t an anxiety attack at allllll that was being so sick from drinking all day and night. I seriously could not believe she made a scene like that with sandy and ran away and cried having sandy chase her ??♀️ The least Hannah could’ve done was feign food poisoning since she was barfing and gagging as it is. Did not like Hannah this episode, major dick to everyone including dummy kasey by fake being friendly for convenience.
I know it’s mean, but my favorite part is when Kasey called Brooke “Grandma Brooke” haha I was sort of thinking it myself when they showed Kasey looking gorgeous sun bathing and Brooke hunched in the corner with that one piece watching Jao over her shoulder.
Someone in Brooke’s life should educate on this type of dating she admittedly does. It’s sort of selfish to date someone to try to change them. Then the only person who gets hurt is you. Why not find someone who is evenly matched with you so you can just enjoy each other and the relationship?
She is very messed up imo. Of course she doesn’t want Colin, because he’s a nice guy.
Very strange girl.
I loved how she sort of said she knew she couldn’t change someone, but then went on to say she hoped she would be the one girl they didn’t treat badly….Uh huh.
I really hope someone gets this joke. This episode was, for me, 70s Fleetwood Mac boards the Love Boat. On the high seas and an entire crew sleeping with him, her and next everyone changes partner
I cannot believe that these two girls are fighting over a douche bag like Jowwoww! He’s such an ahole and not even cute. Colin or the chef would have been my pick.
Right? Although I cannot do Adam. He can be a real dick himself.
Kasey is a little spoiled bitch. Brook, as dimwitted as she may be is not mean. That nasty little remark of Kasey’s admiring herself in her bikini top and snarking at Brook in her more modest one piece made me want to smack her. I actually think Brook is prettier than Kasey. The long blond hair only goes so far.
You mean long brassy fake blonde hair!
Love me some Eddy!! Wonder if he would ever come back
I know! He was like a saint compared to Joao!
I’m not surprised Sandy was nice to Hannah while she was down. I think she’s jealous about Hannah and Conrad’s relationship. So she’s pissy with them when they’re happy together, and helpful when it might be coming apart.
I truly (if fleetingly) felt bad for Hannah. I’m unfortunate enough to know that nothing is worse than fighting a panic attack in public, forcing oneself to affect a breezy Julie-McCoy-Your-Cruise-Director voice to address others. I’m not buying allegations that she was faking it. I got agita-burps just watching Hannah, and if I had a quicker wit and the dexterity of a much younger dame I’d have pelted the TV screen with a hail of beta blockers – my little round green saviors who sally forth to beat back even the most villainous surge of adrenaline. In an unrelated note, I’m duly impressed that Joao obviously managed to get himself an intensive master class at the Ramona Singer School of Decoy Feels. His magnificently wooden performance with her patented Tearless Weeping method inspired me to drink. Actually, I think I’ll have another right now. Won’t you all please join me?
I’m with you.
But I handle panic attack differently. I had a few when I was younger. The biggest trigger for some reason is paying at a cash register. My mother was very tight with money and we would drive to three different grocery stores all over town to save 25 cents on detergent. We were not poor. We were extremely tight with money. No debt ever. No luxuries. Eat the cheapest thing on the menu. And she knew the cost of everything in the basket so I was supposed to STFU in checkouts while she made sure the correct prices were rung. That is the only reason I can think of that grocery shopping and/or checking out is a trigger.
So this means I end up at the register in full blown attack trying to explain to an 18 year old that I am having a panic attack for no reason because I am sure everyone can tell.. Then I explain everything I just posted to whoever takes out my groceries for me
Sounds like you’ve identified the culprit. Money and mothers are some kind of perfect storm for the malevolent layer of the sub-conscience. But you got over them? I never did. Still not sure about my specific trigger except that the common denominators are being in a group of people I don’t know (I’m a card carrying introvert) and having to sit down and eat (good work Mom – eating makes me sick), which basically describes most parties and social situations. In a full-on attack one of my pupils will dilate – so I’ve had people in these groups-with-food situations express concern that my brain is bleeding because of the one wonky eye. Nothing to unsoothe the savage beast of an agita attack quite like being asked if you’ve recently suffered a severe blow to the head. I’m just no fun. Thank you for joining my digital cocktail hour – I’ll drink to that.
I gave a friend one of those penis-shaped water pistols. Her black lab grabbed it and ran around the house and yard with it in it’s mouth. She finally got it away from him and put it on the counter. Later that day the dishwasher repair man came when her husband was home, and saw that on their kitchen island. Good Times!
Regarding the tips……are they divided out equally? Is the Captain included? What about other crew members we never see? I am really curious to know.
micmac,
I don’t see an answer to your question but yes, everyone gets an equal share to those tips. Even Capt. Sandy and the other members that aren’t ‘on camera’ Whoever is working on the boat gets an equal portion to the tip
João and.Colin are scheduled for WWHL Tues., July 24. I find it telling that Bravo lists them as “actor” when it used to use “reality star.”
I have watched both below deck shows. I have tried to like Sandy but a captain doesn’t belong cleaning rooms and doing deck chores. They suppose to run the boat. I don’t think she likes Hannah and never has and I do feel she is jealous of her relationship with Colin. She doesn’t know anything about the problems that exist so her opinions aren’t correct. I still can’t believe she let her friend wear heels that Hannah had to stay up til 4am to clean no one wears shoes on the boat but she didn’t even thank her and should never have shown off for her friend That told me the kind of person she is and would be a better stew than Captain
I’d be willing to bet that a good portion of the time Hannah said she was cleaning heel marks was spent flirting with Conrad.
It seems as though Captain Sandy, who’s fluid, not lesbian, might have a little sum’n-sum’n goin’ on with Joao, and just has the ability to keep it on the DL. That might be affecting her view of him, but he does appear (maybe it’s editing) as though he works hard. His ‘man-game’ is pretty typical of his type, and most of them, narcissists or sociopaths though they may be, never kill anyone. Conrad’s playing the same game except the pretty-boy/I’m-a-nice-guy version. He and Hannah are over at the present time and that probably happens before the end of the season. (If it happened in the most recent episode don’t tell me, as I haven’t watched it yet.) I’m sure he let her down with either an, “It’s just not going to work out,” for some perfectly legitimate-sounding reason, or he let her crazy herself into undesirability
I think Sandy’s trying too hard to appease nay-sayers from last season, but I think her animosity toward Hannah is based in her understanding of just how manipulative Hannah really is, and she may be trying to look out for Conrad a bit by letting him know that he’s only hurting himself by letting Hannah affect his performance.
Adam has shown real remorse for last season’s shenanigans and is doing his dead-level best to give this season’s guests what they ask for, even when it’s unreasonable.
Once Brooke unearths and discards whatever lies at the root of her neediness, in twenty or thirty years, she’ll probably be a strong(er) asset to everyone around her.
Kasey seemed like a useless twit in the first couple episodes but we should probably all know by now that Bravo pulls the old switcheroo in every season of every show. She seems like a pretty level-headed girl, and sometimes what looks like a very relaxed pace can be deceiving.
Jamie (so far) seems like a smart, fun young lady who enjoys hard work, and she’s cute as a button.
Colin (so far) comes across as a nice, humble, hard-working, easy-going young man.
Tamara, hi. Thanks for sharing your take on Bravo and its -lebrities for as long as you have. Once in a while it’s fun to spend a day-binge-reading, and this is one of my favorite places to do it.