I’m not much of a hate watcher. If I hate a show I watch something I do like. However, I am really enjoying this season of Below Deck even though Captain Sandy, Joao and Kasey are extremely dislikable this season. Every season needs a villain, but three? It’s irking me to no end. And now I am crying over some children’s choir on America’s Got Talent. I need a moment of Woosah!
Okay, let’s do this! We return to Brooke declaring her “blatant chemistry” with Joao. Le sigh. Did she not see the exact same
game “blatant chemistry” with Joao and Kasey three minutes ago? And this girl actually flew to Zimbabwe after the show! How silly she must feel now? The smartest thing is this scene is the empty bottle of Otte rosé it’s a very nice rosé! At least Kasey is smart enough to feel stupid. Joao and Brooke sleep in the same bunk.
The guests that threw multiple hissyfits about onions and drank eight bottles of vodka a day last season are back. The same two primaries with four new people. Adam stupidly throws away all the onions o the boat. I love onions and this is a tragedy! A newly engaged couple and two women. But first the crew gets a day off.
Jamie is feeling lousy. Hannah is developing feelings for Conrad. Adam’s thoughts on the subject? “I’m pretty sure Hannah is going to break his dick off.” Jaime keeps coughing like she has typhoid fever or something. Colin is sad that Brooke is into Joao because he has feeling for her. Despite being ill, Jaime had the waiter fill up a penis shaped water gun with vodka. He served it on a silver platter. This is a classy establishment. After a day of drinking, it’s time for dinner and drinks. Or perhaps lunch and drinks. Hard to say. At one end of the table Hannah and Kasey talk about Brooke having to learn the lesson about Joao the hard way. At the other end of the table Brooke is listening and let’s them know she can hear them. I get that Brooke is setting herself up for a hard fall, but surely Kasey and Hannah have other things they could talk about. It gets dark during the meal so it was definitely dinner.
Back on the boat, Hannah is trashing Brooke to Conrad. Really? This is your best use of your time with this little plaything? Conrad points out that Hannah is obsessed with Brooke and Joao. Somehow these two end up arguing. Hannah is drunk or as she calls it, “very passionate about what I am talking about.” Hannah storms off to find someone else to talk about it with. Brilliant decision, Hannah.
Meanwhile, Joao invites Brooke to Zimbabwe by telling charming stories about how his mother was beaten by thugs when he was 16 and she was two months pregnant, and other charming tales. Then he goes to the head to drunk cry. Eventually Brooke goes to see if he is
in bed with Kasey okay. They embrace as he cries. Oh for the love of all that is holy! Joao tells us he is responsible for his mother and his sister and he basically feels guilty being on the boat. I am unmoved by the tears. He needs to treat women with more respect. He’s just like the guys that attacked him and his pregnant mother. Brooke on the other hand tells him he is an awesome person.
Hannah sleeps in her own bed and has a panic attack. She gets up to go talk to Adam at 4 a.m. She told him early that she was falling for Conrad and that she pulls away from guys when she is getting to close emotionally due to past childhood losses related to males leaving her.
On the first day of charter, just before the guests arrive, Jaime goes to the doctor and Hannah is in her room by anxiety. She’s crying and throwing up. I think most of it is a hangover. Captain Sandy goes to yell at Hannah but realizes she is having a full-blown panic attack. She is very truthful with Captain Sandy about her anxiety over falling in love. Amazingly, Captain Sandy is very sweet to her and tells her not to run away from love and tells her to just get some rest. She’s literally gagging in her bunk. Hannah gets dressed to greet the guests. Captain Sandy tells her to greet the guests and go back to bed. So they are down a head stew and a deckhand. Jamie comes back from the doctor to let Captain Sandy know she has bronchitis.
The guests seem so nice when they arrive. But already know better. Fifteen minutes before lunch service, they decide that they want to eat on the beach. And of course the answer has to be yes. That is the disaster that will begin next episode. Please God let the coughing and puking stop by next episode!