This is officially my first recap on my brand news fancypants laptop. I bought it two years to the day that I bought the last one. They are extremely expensive but since I literally pound the keyboard all day long 365 days a year, I guess they hold up well. So are we ready for a new seasons of Orange County?
It looks like Tamra and Eddie are moving out of Eddie’s old house into a new, really nice house. Eddie doesn’t want to invite Vicki to the housewarming party. Tamra is working toward mending fences with Vicki and Eddie is still angry about the things Vicki said to or about him. I forget what it was. Just typical Vicki stuff. Tamra is really stressed about Eddie’s atrial fib issues. Since filming this he has had multiple surgeries. She’s right to be concerned. They are moving into their new house while it is still under construction. There is another month before it will be completed.
Vicki’s boyfriend Steve is moving in. I thought he already lived there. It’s basically a formal change of address. Vicki mentions that Brooks is getting married next weekend. That’s odd because at the time she played it off like she didn’t know about the wedding. Vicki is irked that he is remarrying before she is. I would point out that I broke that story too, but that would be tacky. 🙂 Vicki says she is going to try to keep her mouth shut more this season. I won’t hold my breath.
Shannon is struggling to be a single parent raising three teenage daughters. Shannon is upset because she has going from 14,000 square feet to 4,000 square feet. Seriously? That is a thousand square feet per person. I hate rich people who complain about being a little bit less rich. Come on. Apparently we are going to exploit the girls this season. The eldest is going on a church mission trip to Haiti. That’s a good sign. Shannon seems worried about her going on the trip. She says she and David communicate through text and email and it is not pleasant. She seems to think David should squash the mission trip. No! It will be great for her to see that many people in the world would be on cloud nine living in a fancy 4,000 square foot house! Myself included. Sort of. I don’t see the point in more than 2,000 square feet. That would be huge for one person.
Kelly has downsized too since her divorce. She is also downsizing and learning to be a single mom. She has a new two bedroom house but she loved it. I love Kelly but her parenting skills seem to be a lot like Farah Abraham’s. Just give them everything they want and be the fun mom. This is not a good idea.
Vicki and Shannon meet up to catch up. I am not sure where they are but it is someplace with waitresses. They are the only people in the room and it looks like the living room of some bachelor pad. They talk about the fact that David has a new girlfriend. She’s kind of a cuntsatchel. Shannon found out on social media. She is twenty years younger.
Tamra takes Eddie for his surgery. Six hours later she goes to meet Ryan, her son, for coffee. She’s a mess. Eddie’s surgery didn’t go well. There is another area of his heart that is beating irregularly. Vicki calls and offers to bring her juice? Is that code for something?
Vicki meets Kelly and her daughter Jolie at a restaurant. I am not sure how I feel about the children getting so much air time this season. The adult children are fine, but the minor kids… this probably isn’t good for them. Especially the teenagers. What do you think? Kelly is excited to be doing things on her own. It’s hard to be the only decision-maker sometimes. I’m glad she is embracing it. Vicki and Kelly have a mature conversation about Shannon and David, and Kelly’s dating situation in front of Jolie. This is not going to fly with me. Production has tasked Kelly with inviting all the girls to do a team building ropes course scene. Really production? As Vicki says she is too old for that shit. As are most of them.
It’s time to meet Emily. She is coming on the show as Tamra’s estranged friend. They met three years about when Emily planned Eva’s birthday party. She’s a lawyer who does party planning on the side. I’m already skeptical. I know of another attorney housewife who has a lot of jobzzzzzz and still has time for a full-time job on Bravo and I can assure you that means the attorney has no clients. Tamra stopped talking to Emily because she is/was friends with Ricky the guy that comes on the show a lot to say that Eddie is gay. As a gay man, Ricky should know that sexuality is a spectrum. It’s not always a gay or straight thing. Emily is also friendly with Gretchen. Gretchen was in the news just today about having financial issues.
Then we get our first Emily at home package. She has a ton of kids. Why are the boys heads shaved on the sides? This one kid only has like a four inch strip of hair on the top of his head? Who does that to a child? He’s three! I’m not a parent so I need y’all to weigh in on this but it seems very tragic to me! Am I freaking out over nothing? The oldest is Annabelle she is five, then Luke and Keller, who are three. They are all absolutely adorable! Gina is a rags to riches story. I will tentatively like her. Her husband’s name is Shane, he is also a lawyer. They were friends who just randomly decided to get married. I like them. They are already missing one of the twins.
Next we see Shannon picking up poop off what appears to be a very small backyard (not that I would have a problem with I need me some land) with fake grass. One of my commenters is considering fake grass. It has been a very busy day so I had no time to tell her NOT TO DO THAT just go with whatever you have. I can send money plant seeds and it will be a beautiful purple paradise for a few weeks a year to make up for the other 50 weeks. Tamra stops buy and Shannon is very unhappy to be renting during the divorce. Apparently she is suffering in this gorgeous house until the divorce is over and her daddy can buy her something more to her liking. #richpeopleproblems She is still wearing her wedding ring. I don’t know why people pressure her to take it off. Tamra helpfully points out that David was with this girl new girl while they were married. Tamra helps her get the ring off. That has to be painful.
Kelly has the girls do the ropes course. It’s just the four from last season. Shannon freaks out and it is some sort of philosophical experience to prove she can overcome obstacles or some shit. Vicki also struggles. They all made it. despite a lot of dramatics by Vicki.